What Was Once Was and What Never Should Have Been
by Brambleeyes
Summary: when Jess's mom dies, Alma, he is shipped of to live with Ennis and Jack. Jess hates them both and everything about them, there work, Jacks son Bobby, the town, the school, everything. now Ennis must confront this angry teen who he left behind
1. Fall: Chapter 1

**Authors note: hey everyone, this is my first Brokeback story so I hope you like it. Changed the material a bit just to let you know. And, I want to get this out of the way, I am pretty sure this story has been used before on this site so I please ask of you don't be going and crucifying me on the spot like "hey, this story is like what's his names" or "its illegal to plagiarize". I know. So, if you think my story is a bit of a copycat of another story I have not read yet, please say so. Other then that, enjoy**

The sounds of New York City and the blare of the alarm clock woke Jess from his sleep. 8:14. Gotta get up he thought wearily need to get to work. He changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that smelled clean to him. Of course, to his mom, she would take one look at it and figure it was dirty.

He walked out of his room to see his mom, Alma Beers, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in hand "mom" he said "your gonna be late for work" "manager gave me the day off" she said in a deep southern accent. Jess said that was nice of him. He got himself some coffee (extra cream and a small amount of sugar) and took a seat next to his mom. "Suppose you still have to work at Gavin's?" " Fraid so" she said "might do some cleaning this morning. Place is a pig pen. But don expect me to be doing your room, ya hear?" Jess nodded, smiling "yes mom".

He finished his coffee and grabbed his jacket "heading to work" he said, "y'all be aright" Jess smiled "sure…mama" he always called her that to comfort her.

* * *

It had been a tough three years for Alma and Jess. Ever since Ted passed away, they had to work double to afford their New York apartment. Even with Jess's job and her two combined they were just barley hanging in there. "If we'd still lived in the south, we woun't be needing no extra job". Alma hated the city, she was always a country girl and big places like New York just didn't suit her. She could always find something new to complain about the city, to loud, to messy, to crowded, to rude, the list went on. But even so, when she met Ted at the time when Jess was only seven and told her he wanted to marry her, to come live with him in New York, have a better life for her son she couldn't stop.

That and to possibly escape from…bad memory's

Ted wasn't Jess's real father. No, his father left him and his mom when he was only three. Jess didn't remember anything about him but he didn't care, his dad was dead to him. All he knew was his name. Ennis Del Mar.

Alma didn't like to talk about Ennis but with Jess being so nosy at the age of four, he couldn't help to wonder what became of his daddy. Her answer was always the same; he left them for someone else. Jess would ask who and Alma would say its not important. She left it at that.

Jess held onto that little shred of hope is dad would come back to them but as he got older, that feeling faded and when he reached six it was gone. Now all he felt was bitterness and anger when he thought of his dad. And when Ted said they'd be leaving the place were he left them, he couldn't be happier.

He always tried to be nothing like his dad but considering how little he knew about him, he didn't know just how to. So, he just figured he become a New York kid. He had dropped that southern accent by the time he was ten but every once in a while he go back to his southern voice to comfort his mom. She hated his New York accent but she didn't care. Long as he was happy.

People sometimes asked about his dad and ever time he just gave them a straight forward I don't know. He left it at that.

* * *

Jess got to his work okay, Marty's diner. He worked as a buss boy there. He took the job when he became old enough to work. During the school year, he'd work there until three to six and during the summer he worked till nine to five. He chuckled at that, a working stiff already at sixteen.

Marlene was there, his best friend at the diner. A frazzled twenty year old college student working away at the dishes "hey Mar" he said "hey stranger" she said "better get on out there, bunch of tables need to be cleaned" "so soon?" he said "its Monday" she said "what did you expect?" Jess laughed. So for the next four hours, his only thoughts were dirty dishes and messy tables.

When it was 1: 57, he told Marlene he was heading home on lunch break. He always had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with his mom. "Okay" she said, "I'll tell Marty, be back soon" Jess grabbed his jacket from the closet and hurried to his apartment building. Heading into the place, he could hear the sound of a vacuum going. He looked at the clock. 2: 19? He couldn't smell anything cooking. What is mom doing? He thought she'd be late to her work even if she started cooking. That wasn't like her.

"Mom?" he called "mom, you get held up or something? Your gonna be-" he stepped into the living room. His mom was lying face down on the floor vacuum still on. "Mom!" he yelled running over. He began shaking her "mom! Mom wake up!" he flipped her over. Her face was gray and she wasn't breathing, "Come on mom wake up!" He grabbed the phone and dialed an ambulance "yes, my mom is lying unconscious in my apartment. She's not breathing. Were at Perry's building, apartment 65. Please hurry". He kept shaking his mom "come one mama" his southern accent starting to surface "git up, git up, mama!"

* * *

He was at the hospital, waiting outside. A doctor came strolling over. Large black fella with huge glasses "I'm sorry to have to tell you this" he said "but…your mom has apparently suffered a fatal heart attack" Jess's stomach felt like it been kicked by a horse and a pit in his throat began to form. "I'm very sorry for your lose" the doctor continued. Jess didn't answer. "We've notified your social worker, he should be hear to take you his office to discuss matters further" Jess just nodded. The doctor then strolled of, leaving Jess all alone.

* * *

his social worker was a large bald man. His face was very red and he had a bushy mustache under a large nose. Jess was in his office, a cramped area with file cabinets, a desk, and one chair. The guy cleared his throat "now, I don't know if you're aware but your mom didn't fill out a will" Jess figured so. She said that the time she needed a will was the day her hair had gone white. "you've lived in New York for how long?" "Since I was seven" he replied. The man shook his head "well, we've been looking your case over and you seem an okay kid. Hard to find one in New York" Jess didn't answer.

The man shifted in his chair "now, usually how this works is if both legal guardians are not present at the time you will have to be sent to your next closest relative of blood" Jess nodded "and, looking here, we've found your father is still alive". Jess's heart suddenly skipped a beat "w-what?" he said in a surprise voice. The worker cleared his throat "I said, your-" "no, I know what you said," Jess snapped "but I don't know my father. Can't I live with my aunt?" at least he kept in contact with her.

His aunt always visited on holidays and she was always a sweet woman. She wasn't so strict as his mom but still had her fare share of things to say. Like Alma, she hated New York. Like Alma, she never talked about her ex brother-in-law. And like Alma, she came from the south.

"I'm sorry son," the guy said. Don't call me son he thought "but it's the law. Your dad is the closest relative you got. Either that or we put you in foster care" foster care, ya right he thought. I guess I'm stuck with the dad then.

Jess just took a breath and looked at the social worker. "Fine" he said, "were exactly am I headed to?"

* * *

Oklahoma. Shattuck Oklahoma. Jess couldn't be more disappointed. For one thing, Shattuck wasn't even on the map. The social worker said it was a small town in Ellis County, a population just over a few thousand. A few thousand? Thought Jess that place must be tiny! Not unlike the millions and millions of people living in New York.

It was going to be a four-hour flight to Oklahoma City and another two-hour train ride to Littleton were the nearest social working office was. Then it would be an hour drive to Shattuck.

Jess slept most of the time on the plane and when he got of at the airport, he immediately realized just how far away from home he was. There were cowboys, lots of them. Or at least he figured, maybe it was just the local attire. They all seemed the same, worn jeans, flannel shirts, boots, and cowboy hats. When Jess saw them, he could only feel hate towards them.

Other then his name, Jess also knew that his dad was a cowboy or at least his mom described him like that. Every time he saw a cowboy all he could feel was hatred. And with all these cowboys, his angry was boiling over. He caught the train just before it left and just like the plane spent most of the time sleeping.

He already missed New York. He felt extremely out of place here. For one, as they got farther away from Oklahoma City, less and less buildings could be seen until they were in open country. Jess felt all exposed, he'd never been in a place with so much space. As far he could see, flat open country. Were in gods name was he? When the train finally stopped, he was the only one left on the train. When he got of and headed into the train area, his moral dropped a few more pegs. The train station was small and had about only fifteen people here, all of them in cowboy attire and the ladies in those southern clothes mom used to wear all the time. He stuck out like a sore thumb.

Jess wore a pair of baggy, ripped, faded jeans with a pair of dirty brown sneakers that were ripped around the seems. He wore a solid black Led Zeppelin shirt, his brown hair was short and spiky and he had on five different sized wristbands. A pair of large studded black ones, two smaller pairs in red and blue, an even smaller white pair, and finally some old rubber bands. People looked at him as if he dropped from another planet.

He suddenly felt anxious, as if these people were studying him or something. He picked up his black suitcase and quickly got out of there. He walked only a short distance until he came upon the town. this was Littleton? At least the name fit.

It was nothing more then a single street with five buildings on each side. Hardly anyone was out and even then they were mostly gathered at the bar. Jess walked over and he quickly spotted the social security office. He climbed the short steps and entered the building.

It was only a single room with a few pictures, file cabinets, and a small desk where a woman sat talking on the phone.

She spotted Jess, gave him that look the train people did, smiled, and wrapped up her conversation. "You must be Jessie Beers" that was his full name. His mom had called him Jess for as long as he could remember and to most people he knew that was what he was known by. No one even figured his full name was Jessie "yes" he said. "Good" she said, "well, your father hasn't arrived yet so just take a seat anywhere"

A pair of chairs was situated near the wall but Jess wasn't felling them. "I'll wait outside" he said. "Okay" she said. Jess walked outside and took a seat on the bench.

Already he hated this place. It was way to wide open for him even with these buildings around him. He missed the sounds of New York. Here, it was quiet. Oh so quiet. It gave Jess the creeps. He was so used to the sound of honking cars, yelling people, police whistles, and the sounds of the huge TV prompters. Here, the simple sound of his shoes on the porch made a loud noise.

He took out a stick of gum to calm himself. As he kept thinking of it, the more he hated his situation. He was out of place here, he knew no one, it was quiet, he was stared at, and his dad…well, his dad.

He was not looking forward to meeting this man. He may have helped conceived him but he was no father of his. He left his mom and him so he could slum in this hellhole with that whore of a woman. Then he got to thinking about the woman. He already hated her, he knew she would try to replace his mom but she couldn't, wouldn't replace her. If she did, they would have problems. Not like she would already have problems with him. But then he thought, is his dad still with her? Doesn't matter he thought.

But one would be enough.

He sat there, chewing his gum until he saw an old pick up truck rolling into town. Since it was the first one he'd seen come into the town he assumed it was him. His blood began to boil. The car stopped at the building, he got up, and the door opened.

He was just like the people at the train station, jeans, white flannel shirt, boots, and that ridiculous cowboy hat. He was a pretty tall man with dirty blond hair poking out of the hat. He climbed the steps and lifted his head. The same look that the train people and the lady in the office flashed across his face.

He wasn't what I expected he thought good, let him know how much different I looked at least it would tell him how much he's missed of my life. "H'lo" he said in a low, gravely southern voice "you Jess?" Jess just looked at him, gum chewing away, not speaking to him. After a few moments of silence, he spat his gum out into the dirt. Now he knew what terms he was on.

* * *

Ennis had gotten the call a few days ago, awoken from his sleep. He felt a pang of sadness about Alma's passing but the part about his son, the son he hadn't seen for almost twelve years,was coming to live with them was the part that got him.

He was told his name was Jess, Jessie Beers his full name, as if he didn't his son's own name. However, it was preferred he was called Jess, something he didn't knew. It was an hours drive from the farm and when he rolled up into Littleton, got out of the car, and took his first look of his son in almost a decade he was a bit taken aback.

He was already informed he lived in New York. Ennis hated cities, far to many people for his taste. He had seen New York on the old TV in the living room a fair share of times but when he actually got to look at the New Yorkian that was his son he was a bit shocked.

This wasn't the son he remembered. The son he knew was only a little three year old bouncing on his lap. Now what he saw was nothing like that little three year old. The black t-shirt was what got him reeling (he hated Zeppelin), then the bracelets, then the hair, but it was that look he gave him. Pure hate glaring out from his brown eyes. His mother's eyes. He reminded Ennis of one of those depressed people who wore black all the time and the scary attire. He always thought they were fucked in the head. "H'lo" he said in his low voice "you Jess". The kid didn't answer him; he just stood there chewing his gum, that hatred glaring from his eyes. Then he spit his gum into the dirt.

So much for a friendly greeting he thought.

* * *

When he spat his gum out into the street, Jess saw that hurt look cross that mans eyes. Jess hid the little smirk he was about to throw. He had marked his territory he thought and it meant clearly don't fuck with me.

Ennis shuffled a bit after that, then muttered "well, um, better go talk to the worker" he walked into the building, only then did he smirk. Now he knew how it felt to be let down.

He sat on the bench until Ennis came out again "well…better git going" Jess acted like he hadn't heard him. Ennis shuffled a bit, anxiety creeping onto his bunched up form, his shoulders lifting up. Finally, when it seemed he might repeat himself Jess got up.

He grabbed his suitcase and walked right pass him with out even a second look. He got into the old pick up truck and was about to get out when he saw the inside. The chairs were being eaten away and his chair had a large brown stain on it. There was litter on the floor, on the dashboard, even in the cup holders.

Either this or nothing he figured.

He got it, put his suitcase on the floor and shut the door. Ennis got in, started up the truck and pulled out of town.

Jess stared out the window trying his best to imagine the man next to him wasen't there at all.

As usual, all he saw were wide-open spaces and no cars could be seen on the highway. He was on Mars and he was the earthling interacting with the aliens. "so um, sorry bout your mama" Ennis said. Jess felt a sense of revulsion, how dare you talk about her in front of me he thought saying all that shit that you cared. If you really cared you would have stayed.

Jess didn't answer him; he just clenched his jaw up. Ennis shifted uncomfortably next to him "uh, I know it ain't like some fancy city but…its nice once ya get used to it" ya right he thought I'll never get used to it.

Jess continued to give him the silent treatment. He could sense Ennis's discomfort "well, um, I don't know what cha were living in back home so you might be a bit disappointed" Jess ignored him.

He could see Ennis was starting to really getting anxious "we, well uhm, live on a farm" a farm? Your joking he thought. How much of a stereotype could this man be?

After Jess refused to speak to him after this remark, Ennis just gave up and they rode the rest of the way in silence.

Good he thought enough with your blabbering. For once he welcomed the quiet.


	2. Chapter 2

They arrived in Shattuck an hour earlier. Jess still hadn't spoken to Ennis, even if it took him all of three years he wouldn't speak to this man. That or until he cracked.

The social worker told him that by the time he turned eighteen he was legally a free man and could walk right out the door should he have to. He relished in that but eighteen? That was two years from now. Always be patient his mom used to say. He guessed it applied here.

They soon left the main road and were now heading into a small wood outside the town. Jess found it hard to find woods out here in Oklahoma but that's what you get for dozing of in school.

They soon pulled up to the house. It was a decent sized house that Jess found mildly surprising. He'd never been in a normal house before. It was always that apartment. He could see the stables of in the distance. It seemed piss poor to him.

Two similar cars like Ennis stood parked in the driveway and another one that seemed to not fit at all. A very posh looking car, one you expect in New York.

Jess got out of the car and got a peek at the driver in it. It was a woman, her hair platinum blond, lots of makeup, and bright red lipstick. She gave Jess the same look the people at the station, that woman, and Ennis gave to him. Then she furrowed her brow a bit, started the car and pulled out of sight.

"That there Lureen" said Ennis "she's Jack's ex. Comes around to take Bobby for a week during the summer" who was this Jack and Bobby? Oh, Jess couldn't believe it. Was this guy such a loser that he had to shack up with a friend and his kid?

Then Jess got to wonder. At first he believed her to be Ennis's wife but if that was this Jack's ex then were was she?

He walked onto the porch and Ennis opened the door. It was an okay place, much like the house. Kitchen on one side living room on the other. He heard a scuffle and then he saw a man enter the room.

He was like the other men he'd seen since he'd been here. Jeans, shirt, boots, and hat. The man smiled a big smile, dimples forming at the side of his mouth. It made Jess uncomfortable. And just like every other person, he gave him that look. Not what you expect to huh?

The man didn't speak and Jess already loathed him. "Howdy" he said in a friendly voice after he got over the shock. "you must be Jess. Names Jack Twist" he held his hand out. Jess just looked at it, arms crossed over his chest, then he looked at Jack.

He had a pair of huge, blue, puppy dog eyes. It made Jess want to throw up. What he most wanted to do was to just knock that toothy grin right of his face.

After a moment of awkward pause, Jack put down his hand, hurt in his eyes. There was a small moment of shuffling feet, and then Jack turned to the stairs at the end of the room "Bobby! Come down here and meet Jess!"

He heard a rustle of feet and then a boy about his age came out off the stairs. Of course, same attire, no surprise Jess thought. That same look as the others.

He was probably so thrilled to have a brother and when he looked at what he got, Jess could tell he was a bit put of. "Hey there" he said, bursting into a smile. Great Jess thought. "Names Bobby" he came over "looks like we're gonna be brothers for now on"

Brothers? That's a joke he thought like I'd ever be your brother. Jess just looked at him, with that same hate look. Bobby shuffled awkwardly "uh, why don't I show you to your room?" finally, some good news. Jess grabbed his suitcase and reluctantly followed the teen up the stairs

* * *

When they were gone, Jack looked at Ennis "we'll, he seems…nice"

"He hates us Jack," said Ennis

"Now what makes ya say that?"

"He spit at me"

"He what?" Jack said, eyes widening

"Well, not at me. Just spat out some gum but I got the message"

"Hey" Jack said coming close to him "he's just lost his mom. Even worse, he's had to go an' travel the way from New York City to Shattuck. That's a pretty big order"

Jack wrapped his arms around Ennis. "just give it time" he said in his soft voice "he'll come around"

"You ain't ge'ting it Jack" Ennis said "the look he gave me when I picked him up. All I could see was hate in 'em. It was the same look Alma gave me when I left her" Jack squeezed tighter "there there cowboy" he said, now cooing him.

After a few moments like that, Jack let go and said "we'll better git ready fur dinner. I wen' all out for this one"

* * *

Jess couldn't be even more disappointed. His room was small, not like his old one. All it had was a dresser and a bed, which had on an ugly old red and green blanket. "well, it ain't much" he said "but is the best we could do"

Jess just walked in and put his suitcase down. "So, uh, I'll call you fur dinner" Bobby didn't wait for an answer. He just closed the door.

Still no sign of what's her name Jess thought. Unless Ennis had broken it of and he now lived here. With those two men.

Jack Twist, with his annoying smile and big eyes. Bobby Twist, with his easygoing manner. Jess just hated them. Why was he even bothering to try and get to know them?

Jess laid there on the bed, looking at the ceiling. The bed was lumpy and the blanket was itchy. Just something else to add to his growing list of annoyance.

A knock came at the door "Jess, dinner". It was Ennis. Jess just kept lying there. He was considering not going down there at all but he was hungry. Might as well eat something.

So he dragged himself out off the bed and went down the stairs. He took a seat at the round wood table. Bobby and Ennis next to him, Jack sitting across. Jess suddenly lost his appetite when he saw the food.

It was obvious Jack was no cook. The steak was too rare for Jess's likening, the biscuits seemed revolting, and the green beans were limp. Only the salad seemed good and that was stretching it.

He did not want to be here, at this table, with these men. He just idly picked at his food, concentrating only on his plate. Maybe if he concentrated hard enough he'd be back in New York, with his mom, at their table, with her good cooking. Not here.

"Sorry 'bout the cooking" Jack said "I ain't no chef" Jess didn't answer, "so, you from New York huh?" said Jack in his ever so happy voice "what's it like?" please stop talking thought Jess. He just shrugged, maybe that will get him off his back. Jack was a bit crest fallen, this was going to be tough.

Jess kept on picking. He felt so out of place here with these people. His clothes, his accent, even his build. Jess was a scrawny thing, a toothpick compared to these men. And it felt like they were always watching him, trying to make sense of this person who was now in their lives.

"So" Bobby said "you like Zeppelin? Don't know much 'bout them. Down here we only get country and religious channels" great Jess thought just great, now he had to listen to bad music and bible-thumpers.

What happened next was just like any other dinner. Well, except for one. Jess glanced up for just a second and then he saw it. Jack leaned into Ennis and kissed him on the side of his cheek. Ennis smiled from this.

Jess went shell shock. He forgot his fork; his eyes went wide, and his mouth drop. A wave of shock rocked his body. "Jess" said Ennis "you alright?" just then, it hit Ennis and then Jack. Bobby was left oblivious but tension now surrounded the table.

After that wave of shock, Jess suddenly began to boil over with anger. He clenched his fist tightly in his hands and his jaw suddenly locked shut.

There wasn't another woman he thought. Ennis, his father, didn't abandon them for any woman. He left them for a man.

All the anger Jess thought he held at this man suddenly seemed to triple in intensity. A raging cauldron of pure malice, an atom bomb of such size it threatened to blow Ennis, Jack, Bobby, this house, this farm, this town, this county, this whole state into bits.

Ennis's mouth began to twitch, Jack had nervously started to drum his fingers, and Bobby had now become aware of the situation. He stopped eating and just kept still.

"Listen Jess" Ennis said "I know I didn't talk about it in the car…I thought you knew" he said that last part in a low voice.

"May I be excused" Jess said. It was the first words these three men heard from him and it was just laced with rage.

"Jess" Jack said, "We can talk about this".

"Can I be excused" Jess repeated.

"Please Jess, don't" Ennis said.

"Can I be excused, _please_" Jess said that last word with as much poison he could muster.

Jack looked at Ennis and all he saw was the hurt in his eyes. "Yes" he said quietly, his voice defeated.

Jess pulled the chair out angrily and stormed out of the room and up the stairs. The three men sat there until they heard the loud slam of the door upstairs.

* * *

It hadn't been the first time Jess encountered queer folk. He had seen plenty back in New York, walking down the street holding hands. This followed with snickering from his friends and a slew of mean jokes. But, to have it hit so close to home made Jess sick.

He felt nothing but disgust for these people now. He had hated his father before but now; it was something more then hate. Jess couldn't think of the word but it was bad.

A knock came at the door "Jess" it was Ennis "Jess, we can talk about this" he didn't want to look at that man. He didn't want to hear his voice; he didn't want to be in the same room as him, he didn't want to be in the same house as him. He wanted to be as far away as possible.

The door opened and Ennis came in. just leave Jess thought. He sat down "Jess, I'm sorry you had to find out like that. Believe me, I thought that Alma told you" now he understood why his mom never talked about him. It all made sense.

"Get out" Jess said in a low, menacing voice. "Jess" hurt was heard in Ennis's voice "please, let me just"

"get out" his voice had gotten higher

"Jess" Ennis tried but it was to late

"I said get out!" Jess was now up "I hate you! I wish you had never been my father! Just get out!" Ennis just sat there; he seemed to be on the verge of tears.

Then Jess let out the biggest bellow he could muster "GET OUT!". He was now livid, breathing deeply. Ennis got up, defeat in his body and walked out.

* * *

Jack heard Jess's screams from down the hall. Then he heard that huge bellow and he felt like shit. He waited and the door opened. Ennis came in, a defeated man.

"Ennis" said Jack as the man sat down "its alright, you tried your best" Ennis didn't look at him. He was just slipping of his boots. Jack got up and scooted over to him, wrapping his arms around him "hey, come on now" Jack said in his ear "it was a shock for him, he's just retaliating"

Ennis was on the verge of breaking down "I fucked up Jack" he said, "I fucked up bad"

"No you didn't" said Jack "you did the best any parent could do"

"My best was shit"

"No" Jack said, bring Ennis down, letting his head lie on his chest. "It ain't like he's a two year old. He's a teen, all teens should be angry after something like this. You didn't except for things to be perfect".

Ennis laid there with Jack, his thoughts meandering, Jack pulled him up and gave him a soft kiss. "Don't worry" he said his lips just a few inches from Ennis's "things will get better cowboy" Jack kissed him again and Ennis returned it.

They settled into bed, Ennis pressed against him. He rarely let Jack hold him like this, never wanted to show any weaknesses. Jack just stroked his hair until they both slipped into sleep.

If Bobby had acted like that, Jack would have knocked some sense into him but this was different. Jess was a whole 'nother story. It was natural how he reacted but still, it was scary for Jack to hear all that anger out of that teen. It was going to be a long week.


	3. Chapter 3

Got to get up Jess thought got to get to work. He opened his eyes and suddenly it all came back to him.

He wasn't in New York. He was here, with those people, on this uncomfortable bed with its scratchy blanket, in this room, in this house, on this farm, in this town, in this state.

Jess grudgingly got up. He got out of the clothes he wore yesterday and slipped into new jeans and another rock band t-shirt. This time it was the Rolling Stones.

He walked out of the room to the stairs were he heard talk downstairs. Oh no, they're up to Jess thought. He really didn't want to go down and face those people, especially after last night with that…he didn't even want to picture it. He just sucked it up and walked down.

Instantly, once he entered the room everything went quiet. Ennis had his head down, Jack was just staring at him, and Bobby had that look on his face saying he really didn't want to be here. Jess had that same look he gave to the men yesterday. The I hate you look.

Jess walked over to the counter and found the coffee maker. Pouring himself a cup, he found the cream and sugar then took a seat at the exact same place he took last night. No one spoke; the tension in the room was palpable.

"So" Jack said breaking the silence "Jess, I know we didn' exactly get off on the right foot last night. I'm pretty sure it was…a bit of a shock for you" no shit Sherlock.

"so why don't we try and put that aside. Bury the hatchet and start over again" you got to be kidding me. Jess just took a long sip of his coffee. When it was done we went to the kitchen and washed his cup out.

"I'm going back to bed," Jess said in a low voice. Without even a reply from the three men he walked to the stairs and got straight to his room.

* * *

When Bobby's dad told him about Ennis's ex wife's death and about Jess coming to live with them, Bobby couldn't help but be excited.

Being an only child, he always wondered what it would be like to have a sibling and a brother no less, from New York. Bobby had all these high hopes for him, maybe he likes football he thought so they can try out for the team together and other stuff like that like being friends, working with Jack and Ennis on the farm, all that.

Well, to say the least when he first saw Jess it was a bit of a…well a letdown. For one, the kid was scrawny. Bobby knew he'd never played a sport in his life. He also was a bit put of by the attire like everyone else.

He was like; this is how New York teens dress? But then he figured maybe he's not as bad as he seems. So much for that.

Bobby watch the kid head back up to his room and all he thought was how could this kid go back to bed? Then his father snapped him out of this trance.

"Bobby, you best gets started with the horses. Ain't gonna clean themselves" Jack said.

"Yes dad" Bobby said. He got up and headed out the door to start the work. He always helped Jack and Ennis tend the farm during the summer break. Ever since he was twelve, he'd clean out the horse's den, heard the cattle, feed the livestock, and other choirs that Jack and Ennis usually did themselves while he was at school.

Ennis wasn't his normal self today. Bobby figured it was from that argument last night. ya, he'd heard it too. Lying there and then hearing Jess yell at him, it scared Bobby to hear so much anger from one person.

Now, if he acted like that he would have gotten a swift beating but this was a whole new battlefront. Jess just needs time he figured.

Ennis barley spoke, even less so then any other day. All he did was work, almost not acknowledging him and Jack. By noon, they all took a break and went back into the house. Jess was still sleeping.

"y'all right Ennis?" Bobby said bravely. Ennis just shrugged "its nothing Bobby" Jack said "Ennis's just a bit down from…" Bobby nodded.

"Ennis" Jack said "at dinner, I think maybe you should talk to Jess about why you left"

"That'll only anger him more" Ennis said

"He's already angry" Jack said, "you got to tell him why you left. Maybe he'll understand"

"Not likely by the way he's acting" Ennis said

"you'll never know unless you try" Jack said resting his hands on Ennis tensed shoulders.

Ennis just sat there, shuffling the idea around in his head. "n'all right" he said.

Jack smiled "but he'll wont like it" Ennis said. After a quick meal, the men went back to the ranch and started work again.

* * *

Jess didn't actually sleep all that time. He just laid there on the lumpy bed staring at the ceiling most of the time. Only a few times did sleep ever come to him.

I wonder what Marlene's doing he thought. This tugged at one of his heartstrings. He missed Marlene, he missed Marty's, and he missed his friends. Jess felt a tear role down his cheek.

He would have given his left arm and one of his testicles if given the chance to be back in New York. Even if it meant having only one arm and never being able to have kids, it was well worth it.

But this wasn't like some fairy-tale movies were when his fairy godmother magically appeared. Turning a pumpkin into a carriage and taking him to New York. This was the real world and the odds of that ever happening were astronomical.

A small window stood perched over his head. When he glanced at it after hours of staring and sleep he saw it was starting to get dark. Dinner soon. He was already dreading what sort of concoction Jack had made.

A knock at the door "Jess, dinner" it was Bobby. Jess reluctantly hauled himself out of bed and went downstairs.

Just like yesterday, he sat in the same spot, and like yesterday he just picked at his food staring hard at his plate in hopes that it would somehow take him home.

Jack gave a cough "uh, Ennis" oh great now what.

Ennis shuffled uneasily in his chair "Jess" he started "um, yesterday we never really talked about, well the…" oh my god Jess thought he wasn't serious?

"Ennis" Jack said.

"Right right" he mumbled "look, Jessie" he did not just call me by my full name Jess thought. Only his mom could do that.

"You have to understand, I never wanted to leave you behind" he was Jess thought he was actually trying to justify why he left his mom. Jess felt his insides bubble.

"I want you to know, I loved your mother" lies "I tried my best to make everything work. It tried to keep it all together. I tried to convince myself I was happy…but I wasn't"

Ennis paused for a bit "I just, couldn't keep lying to myself. Nor to your mom" lying to yourself? How original "it was the hardest choice I'd ever made to leave your mama"

Jess thought he was about to faint. How could this man say leaving his mom was the hardest choice when he never loved her in the first place? All he wanted was…_him_.

"I want you let you know, I tried to keep in touch with you but your mama wouldn't allow" so now he was trying to blame his mom? Jess was on the verge of losing it.

"I want you to just realize that I did love you. I still do. Is there ever moment I regret it? Sometimes but I wouldn't change it for the world" Jess dropped his fork, making a loud clang on the dish. He had had enough.

"You never loved me," Jess said in a menacing tone.

"Now wait Jess" Jack tried to stop but it was too late.

"If you truly cared about me you wouldn't have left us to be with, with, with Him!" he practically spat the last word out.

"And now your sitting there trying to make amends? That is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard in my life!"

"That's enough Jess" Jack said

"What now you're trying to parent me?" Jess was now on a tirade "you are not my dad, your not even related to me! And you're trying to shovel some rules down me?"

"Fuck this" Jess said, getting out of his chair.

"Hey" Jack was now angry. No one talked to him or Ennis like that "I did not say you can go" Jack grabbed his arm and then Jess just swung out of it.

"Get your hands of me faggot!" that last word cut through the air of the house. Never, in the thirteen years of living in this house had that word ever been used.

Ennis's face was darkened, Bobby just sat there not really knowing what to do, and Jack felt like someone had sucker punched him right in the stomach.

"That's what I thought" Jess said, a growl now in his voice. Without another word, he turned around and stormed up the stairs and slammed the door with all his might.

This time, the force was so strong that one of the pictures hung on the wall came down, glass shattering. It was a picture of Ennis, Jack, and four year old Bobby. It was there first day at there new home.

* * *

That night, Ennis propped against the bed. Jack was next to him back turned. He had been like this for a while, nervously drumming his fingers.

It was a huge disaster. That talk only made things a hell of a lot worse Ennis thought. Now he was even farther away from his son then ever before.

Jack didn't speak a word after, well, after what Jess called him. He just wordlessly cleaned up the broken glass and washed the dishes. Ennis told Bobby to go upstairs, which he obliged without argument.

All Ennis could do was walk over to Jack and wrap his arm around his waist, head resting on his shoulders.

Ennis could still feel Jess's hate radiating from the room down the hall. And even at this length it burned like hell.

"Jack" Ennis said softly "Jack. Come on Jack, I know y'ur awake" Jack didn't move.

Ennis shifted over and wrapped an arm around Jack's body. "Jack, you aren't going to let a little word like that get to ya?"

"It was how he said it Ennis" Jack said "just like Lureen did"

"You aren't fretting it just because of Lureen?" Ennis asked

"No"

"Then why?"

"it was just…I don't know" Jack turned over and buried his face into Ennis's chest.

"What are we gonna do cowboy?" asked Jack softly.

Ennis sat there holding him, then he brought Jack up and kissed him. "I dunno" was all he could say.


	4. Chapter 4

Jess didn't even bother coming downstairs the next morning. He knew the men would have something to say about last night.

Jess didn't care if he called Jack a faggot. It was what he was. All he was doing was putting it out into the open.

He got up and looked out. The three were heading to there piss poor farm. Finally he thought maybe I could grab my coffee…and maybe make myself a decent meal.

Jess changed and threw on another band t-shirt. The Beatles. He headed down the stairs and into the kitchen. There was still some coffee left. He poured himself a cup and then proceeded to the fridge.

He grabbed himself some eggs and pulled out a skillet from one of the cabinets. He grabbed a couple bags of lunchmeat and some bread.

Jess was an okay cook if he said so himself. He learned from his mom the tricks and trade of the kitchen. He was good at making two things, an omelet sandwich and spicy chili.

Jess prepared the eggs and dropped in some bits of meat. He then let two slices of bacon sizzle on another pan. Then when the omelet became golden, he flipped it into a taco shape and waited a few more minutes. When everything seemed finished, he placed the egg concoction on the bread and the slices of bacon on top.

And presto he thought an omelet sandwich. He took his sandwich and coffee into the living room. An old TV was there, like something out of the 60's. Couldn't they at least upgrade? He figured I mean, its 1982 for fucks sake.

He found the remote and switched the TV on. To his disappointment, it had only eight channels. Three of them were so fuzzy you couldn't tell what was happening, two of them were religious channels, and the other two were just local stations that played cheesy movies.

However, to Jess surprise, the last channel was one he actually knew. ABC. Finally he figured something other then hillbilly crap.

However at this time, there was only daytime soaps but for Jess he shouldn't complain. It sure as hell beat the 'word of god'.

So Jess sat there, munching at his sandwich and gulping his coffee. He almost felt like he was home. But almost was pushing it. He was still here, in this house, with them.

So much for that dream.

Jess sorta lost track of time, he had become so engrossed with one of the soaps (ug, he was so gonna kick himself for this) that he didn't notice noon rolled around.

It was only with the opening of the door and the sound of talk that Jess snapped out of it. To late to run he thought gonna have to face them.

Jack was the first one in and he was talking to Bobby and Ennis about something when they rested their eyes on Jess. Everything went quiet.

Ya that's right Jess thought its me, Mr. Down in the dumps. Jess just shot them an angry look, crossed his arms and sunk as deep as he could into the couch.

"Mornin' Jess" Jack was the first to break the silence "sleep well?" Jess was a bit taken aback. How could he be talking to him after what he said to him last night? Oh, must still be trying to get to him.

It isn't working bud Jess thought. "Anything good on?" he continued. Jess didn't answer just staring at the TV.

Jack gritted his teeth a bit and gave up. Bobby walked over and sat next to him "so what cha watching?" Jess didn't look at him or acknowledged his presence. He was losing his patience and he wasn't ready for an outburst so early in the morning.

He grabbed the remote and clicked the TV off. "I'm going back to bed," he muttered. He climbed up the stairs and went into his room.

* * *

The three men waited until Jess had gone up the stairs before talking again "great" Jack said "lost him again".

"I don't know why your putting up with him pop" Bobby said walking over "if that were me-".

"I know Bobby" Jack said "but if we start resorting to stuff like that so soon, he'll just resent us further".

"He already resents us," said Ennis.

Jack didn't argue. He knew it was the truth.

"Pop" said Bobby "I'm not saying this to be negative but maybe we should just give him what he wants and send him to someone else".

"Robert!" Jack only called Bobby that when he was angry "we will not do such a thing".

"It would make our lives easier" Ennis mumbled.

"Your one to be talking" said Jack "if I remember correctly, not just five days ago you were practically ecstatic he was coming".

"Well I didn't think-" Ennis was about to say but Jack stopped him.

"I've told you this before Ennis, it was going to be tough" Jack just stared at him but Ennis didn't reply.

"Look" Jack said, "We'll give him a few more days" he paused "and if he still wants to play the horses ass, then were gonna make him work like a horse"

* * *

For five days, things in the house were run by a different schedule. The men would wake up and Jess would skulk down like the grim reaper, take his coffee, and head right back to bed.

At dinner, things were tense and very few conversations happened. When Jack and Ennis tried to show affection at the table, whether it be a kiss, holding hands, a stroking of the thigh, Jess would throw them an extremely disgusted look causing Ennis to pull away.

The three men's patience for the boy had worn thin. Bobby's was the worse. Just a week ago, this had been a happy family. Then he came along and like a cancer began to destroy everything.

At times, Bobby was so tempted to just wail on the kid. He was a heck of a lot bigger then he, he could take him down easily but he restrained himself.

He just didn't understand where all this hate was coming from. Sure, Bobby expected he'd be angry but not like this. It was as if he'd built himself armor, a thick cold armor with spikes, swords, lances, and axes all trying to keep everyone out. And so far it was working.

Ennis and Jack were also suffering. Before Jess, Ennis wasn't afraid of showing affection towards Jack. Heck, they would even make out a lot of the times on the farm and Bobby would have to break them up and tell them to get back to work.

Now, they barely touched each other and when they did it was always a quick thing. A quick look around the room before any kiss, only a few seconds of touching, and they hadn't even had sex since Jess came.

They usually had sex almost every night. Bobby grimaced but it was the truth. He remembered one time when he was fourteen he walked in on them in the middle of it. It was mortifying for all of them but over time they just viewed it as a funny memory.

Finally, on the sixth day the three men were through. Being civil was over, now it was time for discipline.

"Jess dinner" Ennis said through the door. Great he thought what sort of crap shit is being served tonight.

As Jess climbed down the stairs, he saw the men were giving him hard looks. Jess knew that the men were growing tired of him. Good he thought maybe then they can let him go.

He took his usual seat and picked up his fork and began to pick at his food. Jack gave Ennis a nod. Like a silent conversation they talked. Bobby tensed his shoulders; he was ready for what will come next.

"Jess" Ennis said in as much as a firm voice he could muster "you've been here for a week now and we have done nothin' but invite you with open arms" and look how far that's got ya he thought.

"And right since I met you, you ain't been nothin' but fightin us all the way" maybe you aren't as dumb as you seem.

Jack nodded for him to keep going "you wanna act like that, fine. But while you live under this roof, you'r gonna have to follow some rules" rules? Jess thought what now you want to be a parent too.

"And as for you'r first, you gonna be helping us on the farm" Jess nearly gagged. Work on a farm? That's rich. I hope this man didn't think he was gonna lift a finger to help his pathetic little farm.

Silence descended the table. Bobby was ready for whatever came out of Jess's mouth.

Jess put his fork down "I won't do it" his voice was dark.

"And why not?" Jack said, his voice taking on an edge.

Jess looked at Jack straight in the eye, venomous look on his face, arms folded across his chest "I ain't doing no hick job"

Jack clenched his fist and Ennis face darkened, shoulders tensing up. Bobby was just a hair length away from knocking the tar out of this kid. No one called him a hick.

"You'r gonna do it" Ennis said, his voice clearly saying he had it with this kid "whether you like it or not, we're the only family you got"

Jess anger began to boil "first of" his voice was dangerous "I am not apart of this family. And second, you are NOT my father. You gave up being my father when you left" Bobby was now starting to get worried and Jack was looking at Ennis with intensity.

"Look here, _boy_" Ennis's voice scared Jack "I am your father and you will do as I say"

"No your not!" Jess voice was getting loud "you gave up on being a father when I was three and now you expect to take the job now? After all those years of no calls, no letters, not even an acknowledgement of your existence! You became dead to me once you left for this shit hole and for what? So you can suck dick!"

Ennis snapped and before he could stop himself, he hit Jess clean across the face. Shock crossed Jack's face and Bobby's adhesion suddenly turned to disbelief, he had never seen Ennis hit someone.

Ennis seemed to be frozen; the realization of what he just did processing. Jess was holding the spot were Ennis had hit him. Ennis tried to do something but he it seemed he was paralyzed.

"Jess" Ennis's voice was low. Sadness was in it.

Jess rubbed his lip were blood was beginning to trickle. In that moment Jess just looked at Ennis with the most hateful face Bobby and Jack had ever seen.

Jess then got of his chair, sending it to the ground and stomped his way up the stairs. They waited until they heard that door slam.

* * *

It was another disasters.

Dinner was officially over after that. All Ennis could do was shuffle upstairs. Bobby thought he saw his eyes mist up.

Jack cleared the table and began washing dishes. Bobby came over to help but Jack held a hand "just go upstairs Bobby. I'll take care of this".

Bobby did without arguing.

When everything was done in the kitchen, Jack climbed upstairs to his room. He could hear the shower running in the next room.

Jack walked over and saw Ennis's clothes on the floor. He gently knocked at the door "Ennis" he said, his voice soft. No one answered. "Ennis" he said again but still no answer. Jack turned the knob and walked in.

Ennis was a statue. He could still feel the sting on his back hand were he'd hit Jess. He still couldn't believe he'd done that. The last time he'd raised a hand to someone he loved had been years ago when he and Jack were working up at Brokeback.

He heard Jack come in and was about to tell him to leave him be but couldn't bare. Jack climbed into the shower, still clothed, and just wrapped his arms around Ennis's wet body.

"You alright there cowboy?" Jack said

"What do you think?" he said in his mumbling voice

"It was a one time thing" Jack said "wouldn't be the first time you suckered punched someone in the face"

"You were asking for it"

"Was not"

Ennis managed a small laugh. He still didn't know how Jack did that; make him laugh in situations like this.

"I've really done it" Ennis said

"You just lost it. Everyone does at some point. Besides, I was close to doing it myself"

"This ain't funny Jack" Ennis said, "now how're we to get to him"

"We're just gonna have to try" at this point, Jack's clothes were soaked. "All we can do"

"I think he actually wanted me to do it"

"What makes ya say that?"

"Perfect way to get out"

"Hey, he ain't goin no where" Jack said turning Ennis to face him. His hands clasped the mans head

"We ain't gonna give up yet" Jack said softly "not now, not ever"

Jack kissed him, a long slow one. Ennis returned it and soon that one led to another. Ennis could feel his body quiver. It had been a week since last time.

Soon, he was unbuttoning Jack's shirt and before long both men were unclothed and the kissing had gone far beyond.

* * *

Jess face hurt all the way through the night. If there was anything positive Jess could say about Ennis it was that he could throw a punch.

Maybe now they would let me go Jess thought.

The next morning, Jess could feel the bump on his cheek and whenever he touched it hurt like hell. Normally, when stuff like this happened people refrained from seeing each other for a while.

But not Jess, he wanted to make Ennis suffer. Maybe seeing this welt on his face would tear him up inside.

So he walked downstairs, the other three already up, and instantly Ennis turned his face away when he saw Jess. But Jess caught that torn up look on his face. He couldn't help but smile.

Jess made his coffee but decided to not go to his seat and just lean on the counter. None of the men could look at him.

Jess took another sip of his coffee and the hot liquid touched the scar on his lip. He recoiled from it a bit but didn't let them see it.

Bobby and Ennis soon got up and were heading to the door. Jess then remembered what he expected them to do.

"I'm going back to bed," Jess said in the voice he'd been using since he got there. He can finish his coffee upstairs. He walked to the stairs but then out of nowhere Jack intercepted him and blocked his path.

"What you thought we had forgot?" Jack said "you'r still helpin' us out there"

"And if I refuse?" Jess said in a challenging voice "you gonna hit me to" Jess had struck a nerve and he saw the pain flash in Jack's eyes.

"So how about you move" Jess said taking a step to cut around Jack. But he wasn't gonna give in that easily.

He stopped Jess again "listen you little shit. I know you'r thinkin' we be letting of after last night. But let me tell you somethin' you very well deserved it" oh what Jess thought you've decided to resort to threats.

"Now, you'r gonna march right out there and do some work for a change besides mopping around the house all day. Now go" Jack had his hands on his hips and his face was saying he would drag him by the ear if he had to.

Jess shot him another look, turned around, and began to head for the door. Then he threw his coffee cup to the floor, shattering it into pieces.

"That's it" Jack said. He grabbed Jess by the shoulder and flung him around. Enough was enough. "Now you'r gonna pick that shit up"

"Make me" Jess said in a threatening voice.

Jack suddenly clamped on Jess's shoulder, causing him to grimaced in pain and grab at his hand as Jack dragged him to the cupboard.

"What the hell?! Get your hand of me fag!" Jack then shoved him to the pantry, Jess steadying himself.

"I said you'r gonna pick that shit up and you are very well gonna" Jack said, now right up in Jess's face "now get the broom. Now!" Jack's voice was angry now.

Jess was this close to just punching this man in the face. But Jack was a lot bigger then he and a heck of a lot stronger. This was a fight he couldn't win.

So Jess just glared at him, opened the pantry doors, grabbed the broom, and angry shut the doors. He then marched to the shattered cup.

"Bobby, go out and begin the work" Jack was even now but was clearly still agitated.

"yes pop" Bobby said.

Jack and Ennis stood watch over Jess as he reluctantly picked up the broken cup. Ya I bet your enjoying this Jess thought finally taking your out your anger for me.

Jack kept looking at Ennis to be strong and not to buckle. Ennis was still pretty shaken up about last night but Jack told him he would have to be firm.

When Jess was done, he through the remains in the trash and followed the two men outside to the farm.

For the entire morning, they had Jess at work. First he had to clean up the horse stalls with Bobby. And every time he had swept them all Bobby would say "you still missed some" and there was Jack or Ennis there to enforce it.

He then had to haul food for the cows and the bag weighed a ton. Jess could barley keep it of the ground but for the three men it seemed like no big deal.

After that Jess then had to do the pigs area. and since this was Jess first time, he got absolutely filthy. By the time he was done, he was covered in pig filth.

"go wash you'r self up" Ennis said when he saw him walking to the hore stalls. Jess flicked him off and went to the ground pump. He poured a bucket of freezing water over him and used an old towel to wipe up the grim.

Now he was wet, still smelled of pig, tired, cramped, and was now furious. Stupid ass farm, stupid ass animals, stupid ass fags he thought to himself.

Jess was now polishing up the horse saddles and had to get Jack or Ennis to check. And every time, it wasn't good enough.

Now Jess smelled of polish and he was losing his patience. He got done with another saddle that seemed spotless to him. Then Ennis came over "still dirty. Do it again" Jess then lost it.

He got up, took the can of polish in his hand, and chucked it right at Ennis. It hit him right in the back of the head and the smelly liquid got all over him.

Ennis instantly turned, grabbed Jess by the arm, and slammed him against the wall. "go ahead" Jess said "hit me! I know you want to!"

"I have been puttin' up with your attitude, tried to be nice, and yet you still fight me" Ennis said, agitation in his voice "so how bout you stop acting like some spoiled kid"

Jess simply spitted on Ennis's face "fuck you" he said.

"Why you-" Ennis was now ticked of. He grabbed Jess violently by the shoulders and hauled him outside.

Ennis had Jess clean the entire floor of the horses stale. Jess was on his hand and knees scrubbing away at the dirty floor, Ennis over him like a bird of prey.

Ennis hated doing this to the kid but no way he'd let someone throw saddle polish and spit on him without being punished.

Jess was there for the remainder of the day until five when he had scrubbed every inch of the place twice. "You'r done" Ennis said, "go clean up".

Jess through the scrub into the bucket of water and stalked off to the house. Right now, he just wished Jack, Ennis, and Bobby would all drop dead.


	5. Chapter 5

It was another tense dinner that night. Jess ached all over and right now he didn't want to be at this table more then ever. He was already ready for a fight and will take it out on these men in a heartbeat.

As usual, Jess kept on picking at his food. Ennis and Jack were very agitated and Bobby was very tense.

"Could ya pass the salt?" Bobby said to Jess. "Fuck off" he replied.

"What was that?" Jack said.

"nothing" Jess said. He reluctantly passed the salt "drop dead" he directed that to Jack.

"Aren't ya gonna eat somethin" Ennis said.

"If its this shit, then no" Jess shot back.

"Then you ain't leavin this table until you finish" Jack said.

"Now force feeding is on your list" Jess shot back.

"It will be if you don't eat somethin" Jack retorted.

Bobby shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Jess gave Jack a dark look and then spooned a huge helping of mashed potatoes. It tasted awful.

"Satisfied?" Jess said. Jack nodded and got back to his food.

Jess forced himself to shovel down the awful food. Anything to get out of this room and up to his bed, no matter how lumpy it was.

Jess finished and got up "wait Jess" said Jack. Now what is it he wanted? He thought I already ate your nasty food what more do you want.

"I need you to clean the dishes," he continued. This guy didn't except him to do dishes? After slaving in that piss poor farm.

"No" Jess said simply. Jack tensed up, his brow furrowing.

"Yes you are" Ennis said.

Was I talking to you? Jess thought. He was tired, he was sore, and he wanted to leave. Here's what he had to say about doing those dishes.

Jess knocked his plate of the table and let it shatter on the floor. "Get a broom" Jess said and before they could respond stormed of upstairs.

"He's no longer allowed near our dishes" Ennis said.

* * *

Jess couldn't sleep. The lumpy mattress agitated his sore body and he kept tossing and turning on his bed.

Finally, he just gave up on trying to sleep. He got up and looked out the window. The sun was starting to rise, that must mean it's almost six.

Jess changed into new clothes. ZZ Top this time. He quietly crept out of his room and went downstairs. No one was there. Finally he thought time to myself. He got some coffee and paced the room.

He was anxious. Maybe some fresh air will calm me he thought. He stepped outside on the porch and instantly regretted it. Fresh air? It smelled awful but then again living in New York for so long you tend to have a different smell on the world.

Jess decided he should take a walk. Maybe that will get him calmed. As he walked down the road, he heard a small clatter from behind. It appeared to have come from the horse stale.

They weren't already up? He thought. But if they had been he would have seen them. Jess became curious and walked over.

He really didn't want to be at the stale. The memory of yesterday still to fresh for him.

He looked around. The horses were still, no one was here, and it seemed deserted. Then he heard a meow from behind.

Turning around, a large fluffy black cat jumped onto one of the barrels. It stared at Jess with huge green eyes, never blinking.

"Hey kitty" Jess said, he tentatively reached out his hand and the cat rubbed its cheek on his fingers "what are you doing out here?" he said. Suddenly, Jess felt calmer inside. All the anger he'd been harboring over the past week seemed to have been lifted.

"You're a good kitty" Jess said, scratching the cats cheek "yes you are" and for the first time in a week, his voice didn't harbor any sort of grudge in it. It was the voice he'd used back when he was with his mom.

* * *

Bobby was up earlier then usual that morning. He wanted to check on one of the horses this morning, Lighting was its name.

The horse seemed a bit under the weather lately and Bobby just wanted to make sure it wasn't serious. Jack already insisted that he was okay, saying he checked him himself, but Bobby wasn't so sure.

Bobby made his way out to the horse stale. He accidentally knocked over the bucket Jess had left lying around yesterday. Damn kid could pick up after himself.

He found the large gray horse that was Lightning. The horse's eyes were a bit steamy and his nose was dripping but other then that it seemed to be a mild cold.

"Hey kitty" Bobby heard someone say. He wondered who was at their farm at this hour in the morning? He looked over Lighting and to his amazement he saw it was Jess.

"What are you doing out here?" Bobby was surprised. It was Jess all right but it didn't sound like Jess. The Jess he knew was prickly, rude, quiet, and uncaring but what Bobby heard was the exact opposite. He also didn't have no dark look on him

He smiled to himself. Maybe there is a bit of kindness underneath all that armor.

He then walked out of his hiding spot "that's Bess" Bobby said. A look of shock came onto Jess face at the sound of Bobby's voice. And in that instant, his dark look returned and the armor went up in a flash.

"She hangs around the farm a lot. She's quiet friendly" Jess just stared at him. Then, he gave the large black cat one last pat and then stalked out of the stale. Bobby thought he had found a way to try to get to this kid but it appeared that it would take more then a stray cat to get threw to Jess.

After Bobby appeared, Jess stalked of back to his room and tried to get back to bed. However, after only an hour his door came open.

* * *

"Jess, git up" it was Jack. Oh come on Jess thought can't you give me a day of today or something? Jess just laid there like he was still asleep.

"Come on Jess" Jack said, "I know you'r up. Bobby already told me he saw ya today" that little daddy's boy Jess thought.

"Fuck of" Jess said "I'm not going to do your drudge work today" Jess buried his face into his pillow and pulled up the scratchy blanket to his chin. Suddenly, the blanket was ripped clean of the mattress and Jess felt a hand vice grip onto his arm.

"H-hey! Get your hand of me!" Jack pulled Jess up out of the bed into standing position and dragged him out of the room his hand still clamped onto Jess.

"Fucker, let go!" instinctively, Jess kicked Jack right in the shin but Jack barley budged. All that got Jess was a violent pull down the stairs.

Jack kept his hold on Jess all the way to the front door. He practically flung him outside. Jess nearly toppled down the steps but somehow managed to catch himself.

"Now you better get goin" Jack said "or the next thing you'll feel is a swift kick in the ass"

"All right, I'm going" Jess barked back. As he walked to the farm, he muttered under his breath "faggot". He then felt the sharp point of a cowboy boot kick him right in the ass.

"Ow!" Jess yelled out in pain "bastard what the hell was that for!"

"Don't play dumb" Jack said, "I heard what you said. And let me tell you somethin' boy, you use that word again around me and you'll find yourself with a black eye the size of Texas"

Fucking fag Jess thought.

It was another hard day for Jess. Once again, he had to clean out the horse's stales twice over, got covered in pig crap, and once again had Ennis hounding him all the way through it.

As Jess was pilling hay into the horses stales, Ennis came over" when you'r done with that, fill up them water buckets and give the horses fresh water". As Ennis walked away, Jess deliberately jabbed him right in the side.

"Sorry it slipped" Jess said, Ennis's hard eyes staring at him.

When it was all over with, Jess sulked back to the house and went to wash himself. Anymore of this he thought and I'm going to die.

* * *

It was another tension filled dinner. Bobby really missed the old dinners he had with Ennis and Jack. Back then they were fun and light hearted, now it was like a dark cloud had descended over all of this. That dark cloud he was referring to was Jess.

Bobby got amusement out of Jess working on the farm. It was obvious how lost he was and whenever he went to the sty, it was a little comedy show for Bobby.

Jess once again was picking at his food. Jack and Ennis seemed very on edge and Bobby wasn't so tempted to try and break the tension.

"Could ya pass the rolls?" Bobby asked.

"You have an arm, use it" Jess shot back.

"Jess" Ennis said in an agitated voice.

Jess just shoved the rolls at Bobby. Thanks he thought.

"Jess" Jack said, "Eat you'r food".

"Fuck you" Jess said.

"We don't use language like that at the table" Jack said, his voice rising.

"Now you want me to choose my words?" Jess said.

"I'm sure you didn't talk like that to you'r mom like that," Ennis said.

Bobby felt himself shift. This couldn't be could.

"You don't know what my mom expected of me," Jess growled back.

"I'm pretty sure she didn't want you actin' like a little shit all week" Ennis said.

"Now look who's being a hypocrite" Jess said.

"You know, I've had it with your attitude" Ennis said, his fork forgotten.

"I don't care" Jess spat out those three words.

"You better care" Jack said, now clearly angry.

"Why?" Jess said, now he was angry "your not my parents. A mom and dad are a parent, not a man and a man"

Bobby started to get mad now. No one talked to his dad like that.

"you wanna know the truth about _your _type of people?" Jess was now going into another tirade "your nothing but a disease, a genetic defect, gods rejects. And you want to know what happens to fags like you in New York?"

don't you call my dad a fag Bobby thought.

"I'll tell you. They corner you in an alley, beat you with a pipe, and leave you there to die. And that's what I most like to see happen to you two"

Jess paused "dead…at the bottom…of a ditch".

Bobby lost it then and there. He suddenly got up of his chair and flung himself at Jess. he took the kid to the ground and began to pummel at him, his rage lived. How dare he talked about his father like that, he'll show this kid.

But Jack and Ennis pulled him of "Robert!" Jack said, "Robert, let it go"

"I'm gonna kill him!" Bobby yelled trying to break free of his dads grip

"Go ahead, do it you pansy ass!" Jess yelled "your already going to hell with these two!"

"You bastard!" Bobby thrust harder and almost broke free of the two men's grip but they kept hold.

"Go to your room!" Ennis yelled.

"Gladly" Jess stormed of upstairs.

But Jess didn't go to his room. Instead, he headed into Bobby's room and spotted the window in it. Heading over, he opened it. The window opened onto a small roof hanging that was low enough to the ground to jump.

Jess had saw this the other day working on the farm. He climbed onto the roof, made his way to the lowest point. Then bracing himself, he jumped down.

Mild pain shot up his leg but it soon faded. He was out of here, out for good. Away from these people, this farm, he didn't care if he had to hitch all the way to New York. He just wanted to get out of this town and as far away from them.

So he set of down the dirt road, not taking another glance back at the house.


	6. Chapter 6

Jack and Ennis eventually calmed Bobby down. However that didn't mean they had forgotten about Jess's little remark.

What he said hurt Ennis, more then Jess thought it had. Ennis would sometimes lay awake at night thinking about it. He would see Jack, a bloodied mess on the side of the road.

It was ridiculous to think about it, considering no one knew about their situation. People in town just assumed they were ranch partners and that there wives had either left them or divorced them.

But Ennis couldn't help but wonder when he passed a whispering bunch of people if they were talking about him and Jack. Or that every stare was a look that they knew about his home life.

In fact, Ennis and Jack hardly ever went into town. The only times they did go into town was if they had run low on food, or they needed some supplies for the farm, and to go to any one of Bobby's games depending on the sport he played.

However, even after all of this, Ennis just couldn't help but be suspicious of all those stares, whispers, and looks that people gave him. It could someday lead to Jack being at the bottom of that ditch.

When Bobby was calmed, Ennis headed upstairs ready to confront Jess. He knocked swiftly on the door.

"Jess, open up" Ennis said. No answer.

"All right, then I'm comin' in" Ennis opened the door and Jess wasn't there. He looked around and no sign of him.

Ennis walked down the hall, looked in his and Jack's room, wasn't there. Then he looked in Bobby's room and saw the opened window. Ennis immediately knew Jess had run off.

He hurried down the stairs "Jess is gone" he said to Jack.

"Good riddance" muttered Bobby.

"Now Bobby" Jack began but he cut him of.

"No dad, you heard what he said to you guys. Don't ya think we are just better of without him?" Jack just stared at Bobby.

"I know what he said…well, wasn't the best thing to say" Jack said "but it was just out of anger".

"Everything is out of anger from that kid" Bobby said, "He just hates us dad. And it will always be like that".

Jack didn't say anything, just looked at the ground. "You want me to help ya find him?" Jack said to Ennis.

"That'll be nice" Ennis said. Without another word, Jack got his hat and followed Ennis out the door.

* * *

Jess kept a brisk walk down the dirt road. He figured that Jack and Ennis would soon find out he'd ran away and would come looking for him so he didn't stop for anything.

After ten minutes, the trees thinned out and Jess appeared on a solid road. He decided to head into town and see if he could find a bus transit or something.

Shattuck was like every other small town Jess had seen in movies. It sort of reminded him of that town in _The Last Picture Show_. All the buildings were lined up in neat little lines, old trucks passed on down the road, and he caught sights of the usual cowboys and their gals.

It was growing dark and Jess still hadn't found the bus depot. He got off the road and went down one of the alleyways. He passed between the two buildings until he exited out of Shattuck's main district.

He could see a few farmhouses in the wide expanse of the Oklahoma plain but other then that it was all brown grass.

Then he caught sight of a windmill a few yards away from him. It's large, metal fans slowly turning in the dying wind making a small creaking sound.

Jess walked over to the small windmill and propped himself up against one of its legs. He had grown tired from the walk and decided to take a little rest. Then he realized he had no money.

Shit he thought I'm gonna have to go back to that hellhole for some money to get a bus ticket. But that's okay he can do it tomorrow. Maybe while there working on their piss poor farm he could swipe a few dollars.

Now all he had to do is find out where they kept their money.

Jess yawned a stretched a bit. He was sore from today's work and sleep seemed good to him. Maybe I'll just close my eyes for a bit he thought. Once he closed them, it took only a few minutes until he slipped into sleep.

* * *

"Hey, come one kid" Jess felt someone prod his side "come on, git up. This ain't any rest stop"

Jess opened one sleepy eye and saw a large man standing over him "come on, get on movin" he said, prodding Jess again.

"Alright, alright" Jess said "cool of for a moment" Jess dragged his tired body up and made a few stumbling steps forward.

"That's right, keep goin" the guy said. What did he think he was Jess thought some sort of hobo? Then again, sleeping near a windmill out in the open might raise a few eyebrows.

Jess got back onto Shattuck's main road and began to trek on to find the bus depot. He decided to ask someone if they knew anyplace "excuse me" he said to a tall man who gave him that same look everyone had been giving him since he got here.

"You know where the bus depot is?"

"Don' got no bus depot" was his answer. So much for that. Now what was Jess going to do?

He soon decided to get of the main road again. He hadn't spotted Ennis or Jack yet, so that was some good news. He went down another alleyway. He then arrived at a small recreational center

A grassy soccer field stood in the middle of the place, rusted nets at each end and an abandoned soccer ball near the sidelines. A few stunted trees and bushes dotted the area along with a couple of benches.

Jess got onto one of the benches and laid down to think. Now what am I to do? I can't just go back there, not after last night. Jess really didn't mean it when he wished Jack and Ennis were dead at the bottom of a ditch, it was just the anger talking.

But still, they might not see it like that. I guess it looks like I'm hitching a ride back to New York he thought.

But no one stopped for hitchhikers, no one. Jess let his mind wander for a bit. For some reason, he flashed back to his mom's funeral.

* * *

Alma's funeral was a few days after she had died. Since she hadn't filed out a will or a funeral request sheet, her body was left up in the air for a little while.

So they had to call Jess's aunt over to settle the matter. They felt Jess was to young still to make such a decision.

It was decided that she'd be cremated and to be taken back home to Riverton where she would be buried.

They had a small funeral at a local church in New York, his aunt paid for it. A few close friends and family members came but it was kept relatively small.

They decided to have an open funeral and after it was done her body be sent down to the morgue to be burned.

When Jess came up to pay his respects for his mom, he thought he wasn't strong enough to do it but he shoveled his fears down and approached the casket. There was his mom, a lifeless, gray, cold thing. Dressed in her usual southern clothes, it appeared as though she was sleeping.

But Jess knew that wasn't the truth. She was dead and she was never coming back. After the funeral, many people came to him to say how sorry they were for his lose. And all Jess could think is how would you know?

When everyone left, he gave his aunt a final hug and she looked at him "you ready for that social worker?"

Jess nodded, scared. He hoped that the worker would send him to Riverton to live with his aunt.

"Well, whatever the outcome, I hope to see ya soon. Ya hear?" Jess nodded.

His aunt smiled "okay" she hugged Jess one final time and whispered in his ear "be good Jessie".

* * *

It was unfair, Jess thought. His aunt had cared for him, ever since the day he was old enough to walk, she'd been in his life, and all they could do was ignore that and send him here? Why?

Ennis Jess thought that no good hick. That mother-fucking fag. That wife abandoner. That…that…that…

Jess was so angry, he jumped of the bench and without thinking he kicked at the abandon soccer ball and sent it flying right into one of the bushes.

"Ow!" yelled a voice from the bush.

Suddenly, someone stumbled out from the plant, grabbing their head "son of a bitch, who kicked that?"

It was a girl. She looked to be about Jess's age. She had a dark shade of red hair that was cut extremely short, barely extending past her neck. Her skin was tan and she had dull green eyes. But what caught Jess's surprise was how different she looked from the other girls he'd seen down here.

For one, she wore some pretty short jeans that didn't extend beyond her lower thigh and she didn't wear a blouse, just a regular white t-shirt.

She spotted Jess "what the hell was that for?" she demanded angrily.

"I-I'm sorry," said Jess "I didn't know anyone was in there. I'm really really sorry".

The girl looked a Jess and for once, she didn't give him a strange look for his attire.

"You ain't from around here huh?" she asked

"Was it that easy?" he asked

"Very. For one thing you don't dress like all the other men in this town and you talk differently".

He shuffled his feet a bit. She then walked over to him.

"The names Lois" she said extending her hand.

"Uh, Jess" he said, grabbing her hand.

"Jess" she repeated "that's a nice name. It short for somethin?"

"Jessie" he said.

She unclasped my hand and looked at me for a moment "so, Jess" she suddenly smiled "you wanna take a walk with me?"

Jess took that by surprise. Just a moment ago, she seemed to be ready to take his head off but now it was like she flipped a switch and change. Jess thought about it. Its not like I have anything to do he thought.

"Ok" he said.

Lois smiled "great, let me go get my stuff".

She then ran back to the bush and reappeared with a notebook in her hand "I come out here a lot to sketch. You wanna see?" Jess nodded. He wasn't a big art fan but he was mildly curious.

Lois opened her notebook and Jess scanned through the drawings. They were pretty good, some of the sketches were of the surrounding field, and others were of the town, some of random people, even a few animal drawings.

"You like?" she asked. Jess nodded. Lois smiled.

The two then began to walk out of the field, up the alley, and back onto Shattuck's main road.

Jess liked Lois. For one, she had treated him differently. She also didn't act like the other people in this town. She was constantly talking while they walked, a motor mouth that seemed to never lose steam. She reminded Jess of a New Yorkian, which comforted Jess a bit.

"Oh, look at me babble on" she said after walking for ten minutes "sorry bout that, can sometimes get carried away with myself. So where ya from Jess?"

"New York" he replied.

"Really?" her eyes got wide "that's so cool. I've always wanted to go to New York, hell I've wanted to go to a lot of big cities. These small towns just aren't my style, ya know? I want to see all the sights, sounds, and people of the big city. When I go to New York-".

Just like that, Lois instantly took back the spot light. Jess missed that pleasant hum you heard from a lot of noise and to him, Lois was that hum.

"Oh, here I go again" she said "runnin my mouth of. So Jess, what's a fancy New Yorkian like you doing in a piss hole like this?"

"Well, my mom died little over two weeks ago".

"Oh, I'm sorry bout that. I bet she was a good woman, me I never knew my mom personally, always been my daddy and me. He works up at that grocery store a few blocks up here. Oh, there I go again, sorry bout that. So you were saying you'r mama died?"

"Ya" he said "and well, they sent me hear to live with my dad".

She whistled, "That's harsh. If I left a big city like New York to come to a little dot like Shattuck I would be hell angry. So, whose you'r daddy?"

"His name's Ennis" Jess said.

"Ennis?" she said, "you mean Ennis Del Mar?"

"Ya, you know him?"

"Ya, I know him. He's that quiet guy who runs the ranch with that one other fella…what's his name…Jack. Ya, that's it, Jack Twist. I've seen his son Bobby at school before, he's quite the looker if I say so"

That made Jess grimaced.

"There pretty well known here. Most people order their meat from them and their son Bobby is on a different sport each season. Say wait, I didn't know Ennis had a son"

"Ya well, he left my mom when I was three to be with…" Jess so close to saying Jack but he decided against it "uh, someone else"

"Well, I guess he'd move on from that someone else" Lois said "I ain't ne'er seen Ennis with another woman before. We all just assumed his wife died or somethin. Speaking of which, why are you out here in town instead of up there with them?"

Jess at first didn't want to discuss it but he told Lois about his stay. He described how much he hated his dad for leaving them and how he felt about Jack and Bobby, there farm, the town, and the people, almost everything.

He left out the part about their fights and Ennis and Jacks…thing.

"Well, I'm sorry bout that" she said. She paused for a moment, a bit odd after all the talking she had done.

"Uh, I don't mean to pry but don't ya think you'r being…a bit hard on them?"

"Why shouldn't I?" Jess snapped at her and he instantly regretted it.

"Well, I mean, I know you must feel some anger after all that's happen but don't ya just think you'r taking you'r anger out on them? I mean, a bit harsher then it has to be?"

Harsher? She had to be kidding Jess thought they deserved everything I threw at them. They were both going to hell, Ennis left him, and so many other reasons how could she possibly take his side?

Then, Jess suddenly realized they had walked all the way out of Shattuck's town limits and were at the dirt road that leads to the farm.

"Oh, we're here already" she said.

There was an awkward pause after that. "I'm not going back there," Jess said.

"Look Jess, I know you must hate these men with all the hate in the world but…it's the only home you got. And, I highly doubt you can hitch you'r way back to New York"

As much as Jess wanted to argue with her, he realized she was right. It would be foolish to hitch all the way to New York and…he guessed that piss poor farm was the only place he could turn to.

"So" Lois said, "I'll see ya around?"

Jess nodded "ya" I said "I guess".

Lois smiled "well, bye". She then walked past me and began to head back into Shattuck's area limits

"Hey Jess" she called to him "um, if you should ever want to talk to anyone, I'm always at that place every morning doin' my sketching. So, you just find me if you wanna talk. You'll find me at that same place"

Jess smiled "I'll remember that".

Lois smiled, waved good-bye and set of again.

Then, Jess turned and began to walk down the road.

* * *

Jack and Ennis looked for Jess all night but weren't able to find him. After it was well past one, Jack said they should turn back and try tomorrow. Ennis reluctantly agreed.

Ennis tossed and turned all night leading Jack to tell him to quiet down and get some rest.

The following morning, Ennis and Jack woke up earlier then usual and went searching for Jess again. They still had no luck finding him. They arrived back at the house where Bobby had just woken up

"Nothin?" he asked. Ennis shook his head.

"Don't worry cowboy," Jack said, clasping Ennis's shoulder "we'll find him". Ennis just grumbled something.

The men went back to work soon after. Bobby noticed a bit of a change in the work habit. For one, with Jess nod kneading supervising, the men were a lot more playful not having to hide it from Jess.

At first, Ennis was reluctant, still a bundle of worry for Jess. However, Jack kept coming on to him. Getting very close to Ennis, playing with his hair occasionally, and even grabbing his ass a few times.

Finally, Jack was able to break Ennis.

When Bobby wasn't looking, Ennis quickly grabbed Jack by the shirt and hauled him outside of the barn.

He thrust Jack against the wall and kissed him, hard. Grinding into Jack until he began to whimper, just like that time when they first saw each other again after Brokeback. After three years apart.

Jack turned Ennis over and slammed him into the wall and began to grind into him. Ennis could feel himself getting into it, after not having sex for a while he tended to be rough. Well rougher then usual.

Then Bobby came out "sheesh, get a room" Ennis felt himself heat up with embarrassment and pushed Jack of a bit.

"Sorry bout that Bobby" said Ennis "just…"

"Ya, I know" Bobby said, "That's the reason you have a room". He then walked back into the barn.

"Oh come on there partner" Jack came behind him, wrapping his arms around Ennis's neck "we ain't done yet are we?"

"Come on Jack, we have to get back to work" Ennis said

"It can wait" Jack said, whispering into his ear "besides, its not like we haven't done it before" he then kissed Ennis's neck. He instantly felt a jolt of passion pass through his body.

He was so tempted to just thrust Jack on the ground and get it over with. But then Jess suddenly came back into mind and he lost his nerve.

"No, come on" Ennis said, pulling of Jack's arms "we have to, were short one man today" Ennis then walked of into the barn, leaving Jack a bit agitated.

He knew that he was thinking bout Jess Ennis thought but he just couldn't help it. Who knows where he is or even if he's still in town. For all he knew he could be back in New York.

They soon headed back to the house as noon approached. Ennis was the first to enter the house. He saw Jess was in the kitchen, pouring himself some left over coffee.

Ennis froze and when Jack and Bobby asked what his problem was, they stopped when they saw Jess.

Ennis was relived to see Jess back but then he became angry when he realized his kid had come back after running away.

"Where were you?" Ennis asked, his voice even.

"Out" was Jess's simple reply.

"Out where?" Ennis continued.

"Wherever" Jess shot back.

"Look boy" Jack said, "You had use all a worry for ya and you just except to be welcomed back just like that?"

"I never said I wanted that" Jess shot back "so get of my back"

"I will not get of you'r back" Jack's anger rising "you've done nothin' but disrespect me, my son, and Ennis the moment you walked into this house and I for one have had it. Now either you start respecting use or its gonna get rough around here"

"Okay, I get it" Jess was about to walk of but Jack wasn't having it. He grabbed Jess's arm and pulled him over. Jack stared him right in the face.

"And that includes to not walk off when I'm talkin' to you" Jack growled, "Now, I want you to apologize for runnin' off like that. Otherwise, I'll wipe your behind so hard you'll be reeling until next Tuesday"

Jess just gave Jack an ugly look. However, instead of trying to fight him, Jess looked down to the floor and took a breath.

"Fine" he mumbled, "I'm sorry," he said in a low voice.

"I didn't hear that" Jack said, "What did you say?"

"I said" Jess agitated but louder "I'm sorry…for running off. And…for yelling at ya last night".

Ennis was actually surprised. No retorts, no icy stares, no outburst, just an actual apology. Well, an apology was a bit of a stretch but it was a start.

Jack let go of Jess's arm "that's more like it" Jack said, "now then, since you decided to run off, I think its only fair you get double the work today. Starting right now".

Jess looked like he was about to say something nasty but instead, he just set down his coffee and headed for the door. He past Ennis and Bobby and just stalked out of the house.

Jack then came over and smiled at Ennis "told ya we get through to him".


	7. Chapter 7

Double the work seemed in understatement to Jess. No matter how many chores he got done, Jack would be there to bark out another order.

It didn't take long for Jess to completely run out of energy, for his bones to cramp up, and his entire body becomes covered in grime.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, Jack finally dismissed him. Jess stiffly got up and awkwardly walked back to the house.

He had a hot bath to take of all the dirt which was so much it turned the water an unsettling brown tone.

Jess dried of and slipped into a new pair of jeans and another band shirt. Black Sabbath. Changing, he suddenly caught his reflection.

It wasn't until he realized it had been over a week since he last saw his own reflection. Out of curiosity he looked into the mirror. He almost gasped at what he saw.

It was he but yet, it wasn't him. The Jess he knew was a happy, carefree, kind person who seemed to liven up a room. The Jess he remembered had sparkling brown eyes and a quick smile. The Jess he remembered was a happy teen living in New York. This was not he.

It was the Shattuck Jess and he didn't like him at all. His face was sunken in, giving him a gaunt look, his lips were cracked and bloodied, and dark circles surrounded his eyes. Those eyes he thought. The once kind brown eyes had morphed into a steely dark tone that radiated nothing but hate.

This Jess wasn't happy, this Jess wasn't carefree, this Jess wasn't even Jess. It was a dark Jess, a person consumed by anger and malice. What has happened to me? Jess thought.

He turned away, not bearing to look. Then, as if a floodgate had suddenly been open, he began to cry.

At first it was a small whimper, then it became a cry, then he suddenly found himself gushing with water. He felt weak and slid to the ground.

It wouldn't stop, he tried to make it stop and it didn't. All that emotion he'd kept bottled up came flooding out of him. His mom's death, Ennis's abandonment, Ennis's affair with Jack, Jess moving to Shattuck, everything just came pouring out.

All he could think of doing was bringing his knees up to his face and burying his head into them.

"I wanna go home," he said in an absolutely heartbroken voice.

* * *

Ennis climbed up the stairs to get Jess for dinner when he saw the hall room bathroom's door was open. He looked in just in time to see Jess completely break down in tears and slump to the ground.

His heart felt like a hand had suddenly gripped it and was squeezing with all his might. He didn't know what to do; he had never in his life seen a grown boy break down like that. It was something Ennis wasn't prepared for.

"I wanna go home," he heard Jess say in his heartbroken voice. Ennis felt his own heart rip a bit. Why he thought why can't I get to him? Why am I so distant from him? My own son.

Ennis left Jess alone and headed back down the stairs. I have failed has a father was all he could think of.

* * *

Over the next week, Bobby saw a change in Jess. He was still an ass-hole but he seemed to have mellowed out a bit.

For one, he obediently went down to the farm without Jack having to grab him by the arm. He did his work without complaint and at dinner whenever Bobby asked him to pass something he didn't get a fuck off. He just past the object in question with no back talk.

But he still wasn't open to them; he always kept his distance and kept an icy wind around him. It was progress Bobby thought but it was still obvious Jess wanted nothing to do with them.

After a long day of work on the farm, the four men sat down to eat dinner. Jess had now been with them for little over two weeks now.

Jess still picked at his food but ate small bites of it every once in a while. Bobby was busy shoveling food into his mouth.

"Sheesh Bobby" Jack said, "chew first".

"I know pop," Bobby said with food in his mouth. Jack told him not to talk with his mouth full but he couldn't help but smirk.

"So Bobby, football try outs in a few weeks" Jack said "you ready?"

"Hell ya" said Bobby "and now that Andy Overbaugh has graduated, I'm sure I can get the quarterback position".

"That's my boy," said Jack, not suppressing a smile, "that reminds me Jess, we need to get you registered at you'r new school".

"Whoopee" he said in a not so enthusiastic voice.

"I was thinkin' you can take him in tomorrow Ennis" Jack said.

"You sure?" Ennis said.

"Ya" Jack said "me and Bobby can handle it until you two get back. Don't worry so much".

Bobby groaned a little. He knew he was gonna have to do all of Ennis's work load which would take him longer then usual to complete.

"I'm done" Jess said. Bobby saw there was still a lot of food on his plate.

"You've barely touched anythin," Ennis said.

"I'm not hungry" was Jess's simple reply. He took his plate to the sink and headed up stairs without another glance.

Jack looked at Ennis "did we say somethin?"

"Open your eyes Jack" Ennis said "he don't wanna go with me to get him registered".

"Well we can't just let him not go to school" Jack said, "Besides, it'll give you some time to bond with him".

Bobby figured that be a slim chance. Ennis was quiet enough all ready and Jess absolutely hated him. He figured there'd be no way those two can bond with one another.

"How many times to I have to tell ya Jack" Ennis said "he don't want no relation with me".

"That's not true" Jack said "he-".

"Needs more time, I know. You keep sayin' it but it ain't happinin".

"Well maybe if you tried a bit harder" Jack suggested.

"So what now you'r sayin' I ain't tryin?"

"No I didn't say that" Jack said.

"You know we can't all be like you Jack Twist, strikin' up conversations with anyone who'll listen".

"Ennis" Jack said, obviously a little hurt by that remark.

"I'm done to" Ennis then got up and took his plate to the sink.

Once again Bobby thought another fight about Jess. There'd been a lot of those lately and Bobby could definitely see the strain that was being put on there relationship. Though Bobby thought it was stupid to think it but he couldn't help but wonder when that strain in there relationship would stretch to far.

Until it snapped in two.

* * *

Jess use to attend Murry Bergtraum High School in downtown Manhattan. It was a pretty large facility with over two thousand and fifty students.

It was also a pretty strict school when it came to education. Alma liked that, saying Jess would get the education she never got. Jess did get the grades his mom approved of, all A's no exception.

Jess liked Bergtraum; it was one of few schools in Manhattan that focused so intently on the business market and had a very high credit stander. 50-54 credits to graduate and that was a pretty steep order. Jess had hoped he could major in advertising when he graduated. He seemed well on his way to majoring the course.

Then he got sent here and that chance for him suddenly slipped away.

Now Jess had to go to some tiny little hick school that he guessed didn't exactly focus much on business.

He could barley sleep that night. He did not want to go to this school, for a lot of reasons.

For one, he'd stick out with his choice of clothing that would have been natural back at Bergtraum. They probably wouldn't have that many school programs like foreign languages, hardly any art programs, and especially no business classes.

Back at Bergtraum, Jess schedule included advertisement class, film, photography and ceramics, Spanish and even Chinese for one year (way to complicated for him).

And the worst part is, he probably wouldn't fit in with the other students. Well, except Lois. Lois he thought.

Jess hadn't thought much about Lois the past week but right now, he suddenly had the strongest urge to see her.

The sun was just beginning to rise. Maybe if I hurry Jess thought I could talk to her and be back here before Ennis and Jack knew I was gone.

Jess immediately changed and then quietly slipped out the door. He heard nothing. He looked down the hall to see Bobby's door was still closed. He silently tiptoed over to Jack and Ennis's room. He heard some snoring coming out of the door.

Good he thought there all still asleep. He then quietly went downstairs, slipped on his shoes, and walked out the door.

Jess then headed down the dirt road and soon came upon Shattuck's main area. The sun had now risen and Jess figured it was around seven or so. Would Lois even be up this early? He wondered.

He soon made his way down the familiar alleyway and appeared back at the soccer field. He looked around and saw the familiar bush. Running over, he looked behind the shrub and found no one.

She must not be here yet he thought. A bit down, he turned around when he saw a figure with there back against one of the stunted trees.

Jess walked over and as he got closer, he saw with relief it was Lois. She was focused on the drawing pad in her lap, busy sketching away at what appeared to be the sun rising.

"Hey" Jess said.

She looked up and a big smile crossed her face "hey there Jess. Been a while since I've seen you, thought you might have forgotten bout little ole me".

"It's only been a week," he said.

"Well a week's an awful long time for me" she said, "come on, have a seat with me" she padded the ground next to her. Jess slumped down and put his back against the tree.

"Ain't it lovely?" she said "sunrise is always most beautiful hear".

Jess shrugged "I guess".

Lois smiled "so, what cha been up to since last I saw ya?"

Jess told Lois how things haven't really changed much. He still hated Ennis, Jack, and Bobby; he was still working on the farm, and still was loathing this town.

"Now Ennis is taking me to get me registered for school" Jess said.

"Ah, Alderson high right?" Jess gave a shrug.

"Has ta be" Lois said "the only high school in town"

"What's it like?" Jess asked.

"Small" Lois said "bout maybe 230 students or so" Jess figured.

"What school you used to go to?" she asked.

"Murry Bergtraum high" replied Jess "over two thousand students or so".

"Two thousand?" Lois said, "That's almost double this towns population! It must be huge! What's it like?"

Jess told Lois all about Bergtraum and she listened with wide eyes. She had never heard of a school so big before in her life and never did she know one school could have so many extra classes.

"That sure is cool" Lois said "sure as hell beats our school. And you say that's just for the school? Wow, New York must be super super huge! I swear Jess, you must have some helluvah good stories to tell" Jess laughed a bit. Well he did know a few.

He told Lois about this one time when Jess and his friends went on a all day tour of central Manhattan. He told her how they shopped at all the big stores, went into buildings like the Empire State Building, the World Trade Center, and even a small walk through Central Park.

When he was done, all Lois could do was say "Wow, to cool" she slumped back onto the tree, her face looking as though she'd been taken on a wild ride.

Then Jess saw how high the sun had gotten. Oh no! He thought he'd stayed out to late.

"Oh man!" Jess exclaimed.

"What's the matter?" Lois said.

"I've been out for to long. Jack and Ennis are bound to be up by now!"

"Oh shit you'r right" she said, getting up "you better get on goin' before they get really steamed"

"Right" Jess said "um, I'll see ya soon?"

"Ya ya ya" Lois said "enough talking and more runnin'. Go!"

Jess waved goodbye and stormed of down the soccer field, back on the main street, and ran home.

* * *

Jess hurried up the dirt road and soon the house came into view.

And to Jess's utter disappointment, he saw Ennis was sitting on the bench. And he did not look happy.

"Where the hell have you been?" Ennis growled.

"I went out" Jess said, his voice guarded.

"Without tellin' us?" Ennis said.

"I gonna come home before you woke up" Jess said.

"What were you doing out?"

"Seeing a friend"

"What friend?"

"None of your god damn business" Jess shot back, getting angry now.

"It is my business as long as you live hear"

"Can you just drop it?" Jess shot back "I'm hear aren't I? So why not give me some fucking space". Ennis glared at Jess. Then he sighed and got up.

"Well, lets get goin" he said. He walked down the porch and headed for the truck. Jess followed "hear" Ennis said, "You can drive".

Ennis then threw the keys to Jess, who caught them in shock. Jess suddenly felt like huge blocks of cement just formed on his feet and he could hardly breath. The truth was…Jess didn't know how to drive.

It wasn't like Jess couldn't learn how to drive; it was just he'd never saw the point in learning to drive. Back in New York, there was always so much traffic and using a car would take you twice as much time to get to your destination.

Because of this, most people just preferred to walk or take a bike. The only time Jess ever got onto a transportation vehicle was to get to Bergtraum high.

"What are you standin' there for?" Ennis said, his voice snapping Jess out of his trance "lets get going".

Jess shook his head and braced himself. Okay come on he said you can do this, its only driving. How hard could it be?

Jess got in and realized that this car had a stick shift. He was hoping for an automatic, at least he had a bit of a comprehension of how to work that.

Okay calm down Jess thought okay think, its in neutral now and he had to put it into drive. That means switch it to…1? 2? Oh what was it.

Jess started the car and grabbed the gearstick and tired to move it. All he got was some low screeching noise. It wasn't budging. Shoot Jess thought what am I doing wrong?

"What's the hold up?" Ennis said, "Ain't you never used a stick shift?"

"I have" Jess shot back "just give me a moment".

Okay, think think think Jess thought I know I'm doing something wrong. Maybe I'm pushing it the wrong way? Jess tried to move the gearstick to the left but still that screeching noise.

Shit! Jess thought what am I doing wrong?

"Ain't you ready yet?" Ennis said.

Jess didn't answer, still trying to figure out how to work this thing.

"Jess? You okay?" Ennis asked.

"I don't know how to drive" Jess said in a low voice.

"Huh? I didn't hear that"

"I said I don't know how to drive" Jess said a bit louder.

"I still can't under stand-" Ennis began but then Jess cut him of.

"I don't know how to drive okay!" Jess angrily opened the door and stormed of into the tree line.

* * *

Bobby saw the entire thing from the farm. When Jess stormed of into the trees, Bobby couldn't help but smile a bit.

So he thought mister high and mighty isn't so high after all. I mean Bobby thought the kids sixteen and he doesn't know how to drive a car? Bobby began to learn to drive when he was little over fourteen.

What did kids in New York not learn to drive?

"What happened?" Jack said, seeing Bobby had stopped working.

"It turns out Jess doesn't know how to drive a car" Bobby said.

"What? At sixteen?" Jack said in disbelief.

"Yep, I even heard him admit it" Bobby replied. "He stormed of into the trees".

"Maybe you should go talk to him" Jack said. Bobby was about to protest. There was no way he wanted to talk to him when he knew Jess would just bite his head of. And with that little outburst, Bobby thought Jess would bite him right in half.

"Robert" Jack said.

"Okay, okay" Bobby said "but I'm tellin' ya" Bobby then walked over; passing a stunned looking Ennis "I'll go talk to him" Bobby told him.

Ennis nodded. Bobby set of into the trees and found Jess with his back to a tree. Bobby came over and sat next to him.

"Um look" Bobby said "Ennis…well he didn't know you couldn't drive. I mean, most sixteen year olds do-" Bobby say the agitation crossing Jess's face.

"Look, if it'll make ya feel better, I could teach you how to drive" Bobby wasn't sure why he said this but he figured not to try and take it back.

Jess just stared off, anger still on his face. Bobby bit his lip and then said "come on, lets go back. You still need to get registered" Bobby got up and waited.

After a few minutes Jess finally got up and headed back with Bobby.

* * *

Jess got back into the car, this time in the passengers seat. Ennis started up and they headed down the road.

Jess didn't talk to Ennis for a bit until when they pulled into main Shattuck Ennis talked.

"So, how come you don't know how to drive?" you just can't help but rub that in Jess thought finally finding something to bring me down on.

"I just don't" Jess said, maybe that'll shut him up.

"Well why not?" Ennis asked. Can't he just leave it alone? Jess thought.

"I just don't okay" Jess shot back. Ennis didn't try to push the subject further.

After a few more minutes, they soon pulled up to Alderson high school. It was like Jess imagined, a small brick building no bigger then some elementary school.

"Well let's go" Ennis said. They got out of the car and headed up the small brick steps into the school.

The inside of the school seemed like every single high school had donated something to this place. The lockers were beaten and rusted, the floor was dirty, the doors where wooden doors that were beginning to rot.

They headed into what appeared the main office. A solitary woman stood at a single desk, her graying hair tied in a bun.

"May I help ya?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"Ya" Ennis said "we need to get him registered".

"Okay then" she said "has a seat". She pointed to two worn looking chairs. The two men took and seat and the woman adjusted herself.

"You'r name?" she asked.

Jess didn't speak so Ennis did "Jessie Bears. The social worker said she sent ya a form from his old school".

"Well lets see" the woman looked into one of the drawers in her desk. She soon pulled out a file.

"Here we go, Jessie Bears" she opened the file. "So, ya from New York huh? Must be a fantastic place".

It is Jess thought.

"Lets see, it says hear you attended Murry Bergtraum high school correct?" Jess nodded.

"Hm, that's a very business oriented school. Well, I hate to say it but Alderson doesn't offer any business courses" Jess figured.

"Hm, lookin' at you'r schedule here I say that were gonna have to reassign you to a lot of classes".

She then got out another sheet from her desk "well, I can say is you still have you'r English, history, and math classes. We might be able to get you into chemistry if Mr. Kilter isn't full"

She jotted this down on the sheet of paper "but, as for you'r language class, film, photo, and these art classes are gonna have to be dropped" Jess heart sank. Now it was official, his chances as an advertiser were shot to hell.

"Now, we still have some art classes but only drawing and paint. Would ya be interested in that?" Jess thought for a moment. I bet Lois would be in drawing, it would be good to have someone to talk to.

So Jess shrugged "fine, I'll take drawing".

"Okay" the woman jotted this down "that leaves you with just one last spot to fill" one more spot? Jess thought.

Back at Bergtraum, each student must sign up for eight classes each semester. Here, Jess would only have six. Great Jess thought.

"What's left" Jess said, his voice saying he was about done here.

"Well, we have-" Jess didn't listen to her go on. He just let his mind wander; all he wanted was to get out of here.

"That pretty much it" the woman said, "so, you have a choice?" Jess realized she was talking to him.

Guess I'll take a guess Jess thought, "Um, I'll take the last one" clearly not knowing what that was. The woman jotted this down.

"Am I done here?" he asked.

"Well, I guess so" the woman said, a bit taken aback by his angry remark.

"Can I go out?" Jess turned to Ennis.

"Fine" Ennis growled.

Jess got up and exited the office and out the front doors. He took a breath and sat on the lowest step, his head buried into his hands.

"Hey Jess!" he looked up to see Lois heading over.

Finally Jess thought some good news "hey" he said.

She came over and sat next to him "so, ya registered?"

"Seems that way" Jess said "Ennis is just finishing up in there"

"What cha taking?"

"Um, English, history, math, chem. I think, some other class and drawing"

"Really?" said Lois "that's cool. Maybe we'll have drawing together"

"That'll be nice" Jess said "would be good to talk to someone"

"Jess we're done" he heard Ennis walk out of the building. "Lets" Ennis spotted Lois.

"Who's this?" he asked.

"Um" Jess was about to begin but Lois beat him to it.

"I'm Lois Mr. Del Mar" she said "Jess's friend. I'm sorry if I made him late this mornin' I was doin' most of the talkin' and I guess we lost track of time" she smiled at him. Jess saw Ennis look at her with those withdrawn eyes.

"Well, I better get goin" she said "I'll see ya Jess" she then headed down the road and soon disappeared down one of the alleyways.

"I know that girl" Ennis said "ain't she the daughter of that guy who runs the grocery store? I hear they're a bit of motor mouths" Jess almost smiled but held it in. wait he thought did he almost smile from Ennis's remarks?

They got back into the car and drove on back home.


	8. Chapter 8

They pulled up to the house. Immediately, Ennis sent Jess of to work. He found Jack who was just finishing up herding the cows back into the pen. Jack tethered the horse and walked over.

"So how'd it go?" he asked.

"S'all right" Ennis said, "we got him registered that's the good part".

"And I take it you didn't try and connect with him?"

"No, he made that pretty clear" the men then began to walk over to the stalls. "But the good news is" Ennis said, "He's made a friend".

"Really?" Jack said, obviously surprised. Ennis was like that to "who?"

"That Lois girl".

"Isn't she the daughter of the grocery store owner, oh what's is name…Brad somethin".

"That's her".

"Ain't she supposed to be a bit of a talker?"

"So I heard," Ennis said.

Jack smiled "well this is some good news. If he's making friends that must mean he's adjusting".

"Ya" Ennis said "but he still hates everything else bout this town".

"Oh Ennis" Jack said, "how many times do I have to tell ya-".

"I know, I know, I know Jack" Ennis said "give him time. Sheesh, you'r like a broken record when it comes to that".

Jack lightly pushed Ennis "only because you keep forgettin' about it every time you bring up 'how much he hates' arguments".

"Only because it's the truth" Ennis replied.

They kept at this argument while they put food into the animal's troughs. Then, Jack snuck Ennis of into one of the back rooms where Bobby and Jess wouldn't find them. It started out as just another make out session and then Jack began to unbuckle Ennis's belt.

"Jack" Ennis said "right now?"

"We have time," Jack said, slipping the belt out of Ennis's pants "besides, I remember you once said you'd like to do it in the barn".

"I'm pretty sure I was drunk when I said that" Ennis replied "and what if the boys find us?"

"They won't" Jack said starting to pull down Ennis's pants "and, we were interrupted the last time" Jack then kissed Ennis "I'm just finishing it".

Jack kissed Ennis again, and then he traveled down to his neck and soon went down on Ennis.

"Jack fucking Twist" Ennis was about to protest but after a few moments, he didn't.

* * *

Bobby began to wonder where Ennis and Jack were. He'd been cleaning the horse stalls for an hour now and they still hadn't shown. Jess was busy sweeping up the excess hay littered around the stall.

Where are those two? Bobby thought.

"I'll be right back" Bobby said, "finish up here will ya".

As Bobby left he heard Jess mutter, "fuck you".

Bobby searched the horse stalls and didn't find them. Then he headed over to the barn and sure enough Ennis and Jack came stumbling out. Jack was hanging onto Ennis, kissing his neck while Ennis was trying to get him off.

"Where have you two been?" asked Bobby.

Jack and Ennis felt like two teenagers just discovered by their parents. "Shouldn't you be workin?" Ennis said.

"Jess is finishing up" Bobby said "but knowin' him he's probably just abandoned it all together". Then Bobby began to notice how mess up the guy's hair was, that they were breathing hard, and their belts undone.

"Uh, what exactly were you two doin?" Bobby asked.

Jack smiled and kissed Ennis on the side of the mouth "just catchin up" he said.

* * *

The farm seemed to have a change in schedules the next week. Every morning Jess would get up and go talk with Lois at the soccer field. Then he would come home and do his share of work on the farm. After that, the usual dinner happened were he would stay quiet and withdrawn.

Today was the last day of summer break and tomorrow would be the first day of school. It was a bit strange for Jess considering he was so use to starting school in early September then early August. Both Jess and Bobby were not excited to go. But each had a different reason.

Jess was good at school, he actually sorta liked school, but he did not want to go to Alderson. He figured he'd be an outsider the first day as people gave him funny looks about his clothing and his accent.

Bobby didn't like school period. He always wasn't so good at school, managing a shaky report card of D's and C's, and in a rare moment maybe even a C+. However he did look forward to seeing his friends again after a hard summers work and he was excited for football tryouts.

Jess took his seat and as usual picked his food and ate tiny bites. Meanwhile, the other three were talking about Bobby and Jess's first day.

"So, y'all excited for tomorrow?"

Jess ignored him and Bobby just grunted "I still don't see why I have to go to school" Bobby said.

"So you can get an education" Jack said "and then go to college where you can get you'r self a job" like you can even afford college Jess thought.

"But I ain't no good at it" Bobby said, "Why can't I just drop out?"

"You'll do no such thing," Jack said.

"You and Ennis did it" Bobby said. Jess snorted. Both Ennis and Jack flashed him a look.

"Ya and look at how far we are" Jack said, "I don't want ya to be workin' on the farm all you'r life. I want you to do the things Ennis and I didn't do" Bobby just shrugged and went back to his food.

"What bout you Jess?" Jack asked, "you excited?"

"I'm jumping out of my seat" Jess said sarcastically.

Frustration crossed Jacks face. "I'm done" Jess said, still a bunch of food on his plate.

"You'll starve unless you eat more" Ennis said.

"How bout you tell your boyfriend to learn how to cook" Jess shot back.

"Jess" Ennis growled.

"I'm of to bed," Jess said. He headed up the stairs and into his room.

"I say we beat him," Bobby said. This was followed by a stern look from Jack. But Bobby heard him say under his breath "ain't such a bad idea".

* * *

Jess woke the next morning. He already hated the day and it had barley started. He slipped on some new jeans and yet another band t-shirt (Heart). He headed down to the basement to see the others were up.

Jess poured himself some coffee and took his usual spot.

"You two better get goin' soon" Jack said "don't wanna be late on the first day" Bobby finished his breakfast and took his plate to the sink.

"Ya ready?" Bobby asked.

Jess finished his coffee and put his mug in the sink. He then stalked past Bobby and headed for the car.

"He's seems enthusiastic" Bobby said.

"All right now Bobby" Jack said. He got up and clasped Bobby's shoulder "promise me you'll look out for him?" Bobby was about to protest but Jack cut him off.

"Its gonna be difficult for him okay?" Jack said, "Just, help him find his classes and all" Bobby reluctantly shrugged.

"Thanks Bobby" Jack said.

"Well what ya waitin' for?" Ennis said, "get on goin" Bobby shook himself and grabbed his keys.

"You have a good day now" Ennis said.

"And good luck at tryouts" Jack added. Bobby nodded and then headed out the door.

* * *

Jack watched them until Bobby's car pulled out and began down the dirt road. He then turned over to see Ennis at the sink.

Silently, Jack crept up behind him. Then when Ennis turned around Jack came onto him and began to kiss him.

"Well look at this cowboy," Jack said "we have the whole house to ourselves now" Jack was now unbuttoning Ennis's shirt.

"Jack" Ennis said between Jack's kissing "Jack come on, we're gonna have a lot of work to do today without them"

Jack finished unbuttoning Ennis's shirt "oh quit being so stiff Ennis" Jack then kissed him again "try and live a little". Ennis then grabbed Jack and forced him against the fridge.

"You sure bout this" Ennis said, his voice now really low in that tone Jack liked so much.

Jack kissed Ennis softly "it ain't like were gonna be interrupted".

Ennis smiled and then he kissed Jack hard. Then Jack shoved Ennis up against the table and slipped of Ennis's shirt. Ennis then pushed Jack into the living room and onto the couch. Ennis was now working on getting of Jack's shirt while Jack was pulling of Ennis's belt. Soon all clothes were off.

* * *

Jess and Bobby didn't speak to each other all the way to the school. Jess was to intent on getting the day over with and Bobby was still to sleepy to be battling with Jess just yet.

They soon pulled into the school parking lot and made there way up the brick steps. Kids were already milling into the school. Jess still couldn't believe how few teens there were. To Bobby it may seemed like a lot but put him in Bergtraum for a day and he'll know the word a lot.

Jess found his locker that he realized was only two away from Bobby's. Great Jess thought.

"Guess we're locker mates" Bobby said. In your world Jess thought.

"What class you got first?" Bobby asked.

"I think I can find my own way around" Jess snapped at him.

"I'm only tryin' to help ya" Bobby said.

"Lets be clear about something" Jess rounded on him "I don't need you'r help for anything. I can take care of myself. This school is about as big as my old schools right wing so I think I can manage" he got out his books and slammed the door. He then walked off.

It wasn't until Jess realized that the school didn't have numbered classrooms. And even though the place was small it was tough getting around.

He walked into the wrong class twice and when he finally found his room, he was three minutes late. His first class was U.S. history. As soon as he walked in, all the classmates gave him that look.

There were probably only fifteen people in the class, tiny compared to the average 30 or so back at Bergtraum.

"Let me guess," said the teacher. A portly man who was balding at the head "you must be Jessie" Jess nodded.

"You'r three minutes late to class" he continued.

"Sorry" I said, "I got lost"

"An obvious excuse" the man said. Jess heard a ripple of amusement pass threw the class "well, take a seat".

Jess headed over to the last remaining seat, which was at the back of the class. Jess already hated this teacher and worse of all when he sat down all the kids around him scooted their desks up. They must think I'm a bad kid he thought, oh well who needs them.

Things didn't get much better after that. He was late again for his chemistry class, five minutes this time. Once again, the teacher (not that Mr. Kilter guy) snapped at him for being late. This one a small woman with stark white hair. He had to take the back seat again and the kids moved their desks away from him.

But it was with his third class that was the worse. It was the one he signed up without listening. It happened to be gym class. Jess hated gym class. He had to take it back at Bergtraum in order to graduate so he got it over with his first year. And he did not want to do it again.

"You!" the gym teacher yelled at him, a large beefy man with an unsightly beard "you'r late" by about one minute Jess thought. The teacher looked at him.

"Why aren't you dressed?" Jess looked around. His class was mostly boys and about two girls. All of them had on gym shorts and shirts.

"Sorry, I didn't know" Jess said.

"Well to late now" he continued, "get in line".

Jess obediently walked over to the wall. As he walked he heard someone say talk.

"Who the hell is this freak?" it was a large guy with curly blond hair with bulging arms and a strong looking chest. He was talking to a short muscled guy with black hair.

"He looks like some sorta devil worshiper. Who the hell is Heart anyway?" the blond hair guy continued.

"Maybe he's one of those pansy art folk" the guy looked his way and Jess gave him a dark look.

"What the hells you'r problem?" the guy said walking to Jess.

"When someone starts talking shit bout me behind my back I can't help but have a problem" Jess shot back.

"Why you-" the guy was ready for a punch when the gym teacher blew his whistle.

"Macarthur" he said, "get back in line. Save you'r aggression for the floor" the guy known as Macarthur gave Jess a threatening look and got back in line.

Since Jess wasn't dressed, he had to sit out on the sidelines as the others played basketball. Jess decided to try and get some homework done. He had to finish some worksheet for history.

As Jess was filling it out, all of a sudden a basketball came out of nowhere and hit him in the head. He felt a sharp searing pain follow and he grabbed his head.

He looked up to see that guy Macarthur grinning at him. That ass hole Jess thought. And of course the gym teacher didn't see it, he just registered the ball out of bounds.

Macarthur then went over to that small guy he was talking to before and they both high-five one another. Jess felt his blood boil.

After gym, Jess had lunch to look forward to. However, the food wasn't exactly what you called appetizing. The lunch lady just handed him a bologna sandwich, some bread, and lumpy looking mash potatoes.

Jess looked around and saw with sinking realization that all the tables were full. He stood there, looking like a fool, trying to find a spot. He then saw Bobby's table it had one seat opened. Jess figured it was that or nothing.

He was about to walk over when he saw sitting at the table was that Macarthur kid and his little black haired friend. Jess suddenly veered away and walked out of the cafeteria.

He ended up eating lunch in the boy's bathroom that didn't have the most pleasant odor. After just a few bites he quickly lost his appetite. This day blows he thought.

By then, he was so relieved when he found out his next class was drawing. Maybe Lois was in there. He arrived two minutes late but the teacher, a spry looking woman with large glasses, didn't seem to notice.

"Jess!" he turned to see Lois at one of the tables. Finally some good news he thought. He walked over and took a seat.

"Hey Lois" he said.

"So how's ya first day?"

"Miserable" Jess said.

"Oh I'm sorry bout that" she said "my day ain't exactly been peachy to I mean new class, teachers, and I already have homework. You have homework? I don't get why we have to have homework on the first day" and just like that Lois began to run of her mouth. And to Jess, it was like a chorus of angels.

Jess wasn't exactly the best drawer in the world. There first assignment was to draw a simple object in the room. Jess chose one of the pencil holders except it was beginning to look like some deformed castle.

"Wait" Lois said, "Let me help ya out. First of, your making it look two-dimensional which is the lowest standard in drawing. You have to shade it in to give it that 3-D look" Lois kept helping Jess with his drawing and sure enough, it came out an okay picture if Jess said so himself.

"So I didn't see you at lunch" Jess said.

"I never eat in the cafeteria" Lois said "see, the janitor always leaves the side door in the back open. There happens to be a nice little hill there. I go there to eat and do some sketching. You should come with me, it'll be nice to have company"

"Thanks" Jess said, "I'll do that".

Drawing class was the only high point of the day. He was late for his math and English classes and as usual the teachers snapped at him, he had to sit in the back, and all the kids moved their desks away from them.

It was official Jess thought I am the school freak.

He was so glad when he finally heard the dismissal bell. He quickly packed his things and headed out of the double doors. Jess didn't bother to wait for Bobby. He was bound to be at the football try outs and knowing that will take at least an hour or so, he figured he walk home. Should only be an hour or so walk?

"Hey Jess!" he looked up and saw Lois pull up in a dark green beat up Vista Cruiser "you need a ride?"

Jess smiled "yes, very" Jess hurried into the car. The entire place was littered with discarded papers of various drawings. Man this girl sure draws a lot for some one who can run a sentence on.

"Sorry bout the mess" she said "been meaning to clean it up".

"No problem" Jess said.

Lois then headed out of the parking lot where Jess caught sight of the football field. Boys were already lining up for the tryouts. Jess figured one of them was Bobby.

"You think Bobby will make quarterback this year?" she asked.

Jess shrugged "I wouldn't know".

"I think he is. I mean with Overbaugh out he is a sure candidate to get that position. I ain't much of a sports fan myself; I just get it from my daddy. He always watchin' some sorta sports game whenever I come home. However sometimes I watch them to get a few sports drawings. It really interesting-"

Good old Lois, Jess thought.


	9. Chapter 9

Ennis was climaxing for what seemed the one-hundredth time today. Jack was moaning beneath him and as Ennis pushed in a final time and both he and Jack let it all out.

Ennis was now exhausted and breathing heavily, driblets of sweat ran down his body. The same was said about Jack.

Ennis rolled of Jack and laid on the bed, face up. Then Jack laid on his chest "feelin' better cowboy?" Jack said in tired voice.

"Fucking great" Ennis said, kissing Jack's head.

It had first just started on the couch but somewhere between the couch, the floor, the stairs, and the hall they ended back in their bed. Ennis made a mental note to remind Jack to clean up before the kids got home.

"It's been a while since we've had a day like this" Jack said; now tracing random shapes on Ennis's chest.

"Ya well its kinda hard to when you have a son with ya in the house all summer" Ennis replied.

"An extra one doesn't help either" Jack said lazily.

"Especially one that's a real dick" Ennis said.

"Speaking of dick" Jack said, his hand starting to travel down Ennis's body.

"Jack" Ennis said "again?"

Jack mumbled "hm-hm".

"Come on Jack" Ennis said "I think I'm exhausted out for the day" Jack didn't seem to listen. He instead climbed on top of Ennis and kissed him.

"Jack" Ennis said, his face only inches from Jacks "the boys are gonna be home soon".

Jack kissed him again "then we're just gonna have to make it a quick one". Jack kept on kissing him while his hands traveled below Ennis's waist.

Then just as they were about to go at it for the one hundredth and one time, they heard the door slam from downstairs.

Jack stopped "oh" he said in a disappointed voice "so much for that".

* * *

Lois pulled up to the house and Jess got out of the beat up car.

"I'll see ya tomorrow at school?" she said.

"Sure thing" Jess said. He then closed the door and Lois drove of down the road. He then entered the house. Looking around, he saw some of the chairs had been pushed over in the kitchen.

He picked up one of the chairs and fixed himself a sandwich. He was still hungry after how little he ate.

"Hey Jess" Jack said walking into the room sounding a little out of breath "how was school?"

"Peachy" Jess said.

"So I take it didn't go well?" Ennis said. He to also seemed a bit short of breath to. Must have been a busy day Jess thought.

"Bobby at the tryouts?" Jack asked.

Jess shrugged "obviously".

"Did that Lois girl drive ya hear?" Ennis said.

"Yes" Jess said.

An awkward silence followed after that "I'm going upstairs" Jess said.

"Oh no you don't" Jack said "you still need to do you'r chores for the day"

"I just had a rough day," Jess said "can't I just go upstairs".

"Not until you finish your chores" Jack replied. Jess rolled his eyes and put his plate in the sink and headed out the door. Not before he muttered, "fag".

* * *

Jess saw Bobby's car pull up in the driveway about an hour earlier. He saw Bobby slam the door and sulk into the house. That can't be good Jess thought.

Ennis came over and saw Bobby's car "Bobby's back from tryouts?" he asked. Jess just shrugged.

Jess finished up and the three men headed into the house. Jess saw Bobby slumped in his chair, swishing a glass of water around.

"So Bobby" Jack said, "How'd it go?"

Bobby took a long gulp "I didn't get quarterback". So sad Jess thought.

"You didn't?" Jack said in surprise "but you were a sure in! What happened? Who got the position" Bobby took another gulp of water and said.

"Doug Macarthur" Macarthur! Jess thought that ignorant ass hole that hassled him in gym? Bobby wasn't Jess's favorite person in the world but the fact of learning he lost the position to that bastard, Jess almost felt sorry for him. Well, maybe not almost but close.

"Macarthur?" Ennis said, "I thought you said he couldn't throw a ball for the life of him" Bobby took another gulp.

"He got better over the summer. A lot better" he replied. Bobby took another swig "I did get running back though".

"Well that's good," said Jack "you'r the best running back I know of. Besides, we all know it's the runner who does all the scoring".

Bobby brightened up a bit "ya, I guess so. Oh, who cares anyway, as long as I'm on the team"

"That's the spirit," Jack said clapping Bobby on the back.

The men soon sat down for dinner. Bobby told Jack and Ennis all about the practice. Which people messed up, who got better or worse, and what positions they got. Jess barley listened to the conversation and instead got random tid bits of it all.

"Jess" he suddenly realized that Jack was talking to him.

He looked up "what?" practically spitting out the word.

"Don't be getting' defensive" Jack said "I was just wonderin' if maybe you'd like to invite that Lois girl over" Jess almost gagged on his food, Bobby got a surprised look on his face, and Ennis looked at Jack as if he was out of his mind.

"And why should I do that?" asked Jess.

"No reason" Jack said "I just wanna meet her, that's all" so you can find out if I'm really friends with her? Jess thought.

"I ain't forcin' ya to do it" Jack said "I'm just sayin' it would be a nice gesture" Jess didn't feel hungry anymore. So he ate a few more bites of chicken and took his food to the sink.

"You'll think bout it right?' Jack asked.

Jess just rolled his eyes "whatever". He then stalked upstairs.

* * *

"Are you out of you'r damn mind Jack Twist?" Ennis said.

"What Ennis" Jack said, "it was only a suggestion".

"You should know by now how that kid reacts to our suggestions" Ennis said.

"Oh Ennis come on" Jack said, "It was just an idea. Its not like I suggested we sell the house or somethin".

Ennis just stared at his food "he ain't gonna do it".

"Probably won't even mention it to her" Bobby said.

"Oh stop you two" Jack said, "lets just give him a chance".

"Its not like he's given us one" Bobby said.

Ennis was gonna retort to that remark but he knew it was the truth. Might as well not try and deny it.

They finished dinner soon after. Bobby headed up to his room while Ennis went into the bathroom to take a shower. He stood there letting the water roll down his body, mulling over Jack's arrangement. He was right for one thing; it would give Ennis a chance to get to know Jess. As far as he knew, that Lois girl wass closer to him then any one of them.

He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He then went to brushing his teeth. The door was open and Jack was sitting there, watching him with hungry eyes.

"What, you wanna go at it again?" Ennis said after a few moments of Jack looking at him.

"You bet" Jack said, getting up.

"It was a joke Jack" Ennis said. Jack looked crestfallen. "What, as if fucking you nearly eight times ain't enough?" he said.

"Ain't to many times for that," Jack said.

"I swear Jack sometimes I think you have a problem" Ennis said, he rinsed out his mouth and spat into the sink.

"Like what kinda problem?" Jack said.

"You have to admit Jack, you wanna have sex a lot of the time".

"Who doesn't?" Jack replied.

"I mean, you want it constantly" Ennis said.

"Only with you though" Jack said, he then got of the bed and walked over to Ennis until he was right in Ennis's face, staring at him with those big blue eyes.

"Jack" Ennis said.

"Ennis" Jack muttered. Jack then wrapped his arms around Ennis and kissed him. Jack then kissed him again and Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack, his hands going up his back.

Jack then pulled away and put a finger in between the towel "so, whaddya say cowboy? Up for round nine?"

Ennis smiled "absolutely".

* * *

For three days Jess didn't think about Jack's suggestion to invite Lois over for dinner. Part of it was he didn't want to and the other part was his mind was preoccupied with other more important things.

Things at school still hadn't change. He would arrive late to classes most of the time and of course most of his teachers had it out for him or so he thought. As usual, the students avoided him like he was some kinda plague carrier and of course no one tried to approach him or speak to him. Oh well he thought every school needs an outcast.

Gym class was the low point for him. He refused to actually participate in any of the sports, he would just stand there like he was doing something. And to top it of, Doug Macarthur always found some way to hit him, humiliate him, or get him in trouble with the teacher.

On the second day at school, Doug deliberately tripped him during basketball and during the second quarter he intentionally rammed into him knocking Jess's breath out. On the third day, he threw the ball at Jess so hard it him right in the face nearly causing his nose to bleed. Then, on the fourth they were playing volleyball and Doug takes it upon himself to spike the ball right at Jess every chance he got. And of course the teacher was oblivious to it.

However, lunch and drawing class were actually the high points of Jess's day. At lunch, Lois would meet him and they would sneak out threw the side door and ate lunch on the field. It was actually a pretty nice place with some rocks at the top that were perfect for sitting.

Lois would mostly sketch and do the talking while Jess just sat back and let her ramble on. They would then go to drawing class where she would mostly supervise him and help him with his drawings.

It was nice to have Lois with him. He finally understood that saying birds of a feather will flock.

Then the day just went down to its low point again where he was late, ignored, and secluded.

Since Bobby had practice everyday, Lois always drove Jess home. He felt it weren't necessary to mention the fact he couldn't drive. or at least, not yet.

However, something happened on the next day. Jess had been in school for a full week now glad as hell it was Friday. He'll be able to rest after this hellish week. As Jess was sitting on one of the rocks on the hill he suddenly remembered Jack's suggestion.

At first Jess ignored it but as the seconds past it slowly became a nagging thing in his head. One side of him was saying, "ask her, ask her!" the other half was saying, "are you outta your mind? don't do it!"

Lois was busy sketching a life size image of a butterfly that landed near the rock she was on. Jess looked at her. No wait he thought what am I thinking? I can't invite her. And he had good reasons.For one, he was afraid Ennis and Jack would…well act like a couple right in front of this girl. But then again, it wasn't like they actually told anyone about them. Jess kept on kicking the idea around in his head for a few minutes until finally he said.

"Um Lois?" she looked up from her sketch.

"What is it Jess?" she asked in a concern voice.

Then, before Jess could contain himself "um, would ya…like to have dinner tonight? Um, with Ennis, Jack, Bobby, and me? I mean you don't have to but-".

"Really?" Lois's eyes got wider "you serious? I would love to! Bout time I should say so myself. We've known each other for I don't know two weeks now? Ya two weeks and I still barely know anything bout you'r family".

"Really?" Jess said, "You really wanna?"

"Shit ya!" Lois said now excited "but, on one exception" this took Jess by surprise. What exception would that be? He thought.

"If I'm going to have dinner at you'r house" she said "then I want you to have dinner at my house" this was a mild surprise for Jess. He'd never met Lois's father before and it would be nice to get out of that piss poor farm every once in a while.

"Okay" Jess said, "ya sure, I can do that".

"Great!" Lois said "I'll go call my dad when we get back in to see if it's okay".

"Great" Jess said.

"Great" Lois repeated. They both laughed at this.

After that, Jess didn't really notice how crappy the rest of the day was. He was to busy thinking about tonight. It would probably be the first time since his mom died that a family dinner would actually be…well enjoyable.

* * *

As soon as school was over, Bobby headed to the locker rooms to change for football practice.

Bobby never really liked the boy's locker room. For one it smelled like…well a boy's locker room. Second, there was always the possibility of something getting stolen. Bobby learned that during his freshman year when he lost nearly twenty bucks he had in his pocket. For that, Bobby never brought anything valuable to the locker room.

As Bobby walked down the hall for the locker he heard someone whistle behind him.

"Hey Twist! Wait up" Bobby turned to see Doug Macarthur and his gang of friends running up to him. Bobby never really liked Doug. He had known Doug since the fifth grade, they've been on the football team since freshman year, and they've sat at the same lunch table for three years. But, they weren't really friends. One of Bobby's friends, Kyle, is a friend with Doug so it wasn't like he could reject him.

"Hey Doug" Bobby said.

"You ready for practice?"

"As I'll ever be" replied Bobby.

"Good, cause I'm gonna make ya work today. only a week till the first game of the season" Bobby was pretty sure Doug was rubbing it into his face that he didn't get quarterback. but then again, Doug rubbed a lot of things into Bobby's face.

Bobby saw Jess walking down the hall, heading for the main door.

"oh look" Doug said "it's the school freak. Wait here Twist" then Doug walked in front of Jess, blocking him of.

"Can you get outta my way?" Jess said. Bobby flinched; he did not like wear this was going.

"Hey now" Doug then pushed Jess up against a locker "is that anyway to treat an adult?"

"Your only a year older me" Jess said "so I highly doubt that constitutes you as being a adult". Then, Doug's friends began to surround Jess.

"Well, look who's decided to become a little smart ass" then Doug swung a punch right into Jess's stomach. Bobby saw Jess double over, grabbing wear Doug hit, and slumped down to the floor.

"Get your ass up!" Doug said, hauling Jess back to his feet. This was going from bad to worse Bobby thought. As Doug wound up for another hit, Bobby stepped in and blocked Doug of.

"Hey come on" Bobby said, "That's enough" Bobby pulled Jess out of the circle.

"What the hell Twist?" Doug said "you goin' soft on us or somethin'?"

"It wasn't like he did anythin' to you" Bobby said.

"Come on Twist! Don't turn into a pansy, what's so special bout this kid?"

Bobby paused "he's Ennis's son".

This caused Doug to laugh "you'r kiddin right? That quiet guy who works with you'r daddy? He don't have no kids! He sure as hell don't look like him".

"Well guess what Doug, he is" Bobby said "and I don't want to see ya hasslin' him anymore"

Doug folded his arms "or what?" this caused a small ripple of amusement to pass threw Doug's friends. It was clearly the first sign of a battle.

"Trust me Doug" Bobby said walking right up to him "you may be the leadin' man on the team but I can still take you out" a silence descended over the group. All Doug did was give Bobby a sinister look.

"Fine Twist" he said, "you wanna defend this little pansy?" Doug then spit on Bobby's shoe "then it's on". With that, Doug turned around and stalked off. His friends soon followed suit.

"you didn't have to do that" Jess said.

"they were gonna pound you silly if I hadn't stepped in" Bobby replied.

"I could have handled it" Jess shot back. Why does he have to be so god damn stubborn? Bobby thought, I practically saved him for a good old whooping and he is still trying to fight me.

"You know very well you couldn't" Bobby said.

Jess just glared at him "I already told you" Jess said, "I can take care of myself. I don't need you having to step into every single one of my problems. Its not like I but into yours".

Bobby decided to just give up at that point "all right, I'm sorry. I won't do it next time, you can let yourself get pummeled for all I care".

"Fine" Jess spat the word out. He then turned around and stalked of to the doors. However, before he went out he called back to Bobby "Lois is coming over tonight". And before Bobby could react Jess walked out.


	10. Chapter 10

Jess walked out the doors and took a seat on the steps. His stomach was still sore where Doug had hit him but he could live with it. He was also angry with Bobby, he could have handled the situation he thought why did he have to but into it? Now he's gonna for sure tell Jack and Ennis and once again will have to go threw one of there lectures.

Lois pulled up and Jess got into the car.

"So my daddy said it was okay," she said.

"What?" Jess was barley listening.

"I said I'm comin' over for dinner" Lois repeated "somethin' botherin' you?"

"No, its nothing" Jess said, "you know, just the usual".

"Okay, if ya say so".

They then pulled out of the parking lot and Lois began to ramble on about her day. They soon pulled up to the house.

"So when are ya coming over?" Jess asked.

"I think maybe sixish or so," Lois, said "that all right?"

"Ya, that seems about right" Jess replied.

"Okay, then sixish it is" Jess got out of the car and said see ya tonight to Lois. He then headed into the house.

Jack and Ennis were in the kitchen. Jess fixed a small sandwich and sat down at his usual spot.

"Lois is coming over," he said. Ennis looked at him in surprise and Jack suddenly lit up, those annoying dimples forming at his cheeks.

"Really?" Jack said "that's great! Oh crap, I'm gonna have ta get ready".

"What for Jack?" Ennis said "its only quarter before three".

"Ya but we're havin' company over Ennis" Jack said "and a girl no less. I can't remember the last time a girl sat with us at dinner" no big shocker their Jess thought.

"Swear Jack, it seems like ya turnin' into a woman" Ennis said.

"Really? I'm turnin' into a woman?" he walked over to Ennis "if I remember correctly, you happen to moan like a girl while-"

Jess gave a small cough "can't you keep that to yourself?"

Ennis shot Jess a stern look "don't you have chores to be done?" Jess rolled his eyes and headed out the door.

"And I don't moan like a girl" Ennis said.

* * *

Things were a bit tough for Bobby at football practice. He had already known that something like this would happen but he had hoped it wasn't.

Bobby had just drawn the line with Doug once he stood up for Jess. That meant that there was gonna be some conflict. It was basically a declaration of war and right now Doug had the advantage.

Even though Bobby could take Doug out in a second, he was no match for an entire squad. See, Doug had a lot of friends of the football team, ones he could easily manipulate. Although there were some that Doug had no control of, Bobby was still outmatched.

During practice, people who happened to be close to Doug hit him harder then necessary. When it came to trying to getting around the defensive players, it always happened to be the same guys that would go after him. And whenever he tried to throw the ball at a player who was friends with Doug's, they always somehow managed to seem like he threw a sloppy ball.

As Bobby excited the field, he got elbowed by a few people and nearly shoved over by Doug. However, the coach was near so he kept his cool. He didn't wanna be benched for the first game of the season no matter how bad Doug was asking for it.

Bobby then washed up in the school showers, the cold water feeling good on him. He walked out to see his clothes had somehow gotten wet even though his locker wasn't even near the showers. And since Bobby had no extra clothes, he had to slip on the uncomfortably wet clothes and make due with it.

He then got out of the locker room and started up his car. As he pulled out, a large black truck suddenly came out of nowhere but Bobby stopped in time before it hit. He could see from the mirrors it was Doug. He stared at Bobby for a moment, and then he pulled out.

When he got home, Jack, Ennis, and Jess weren't in the house. They must be working he thought. So Bobby went upstairs and changed into some warm clothes. He then headed to the farm and began his work.

Jack soon came up to him "hey buddy" he said, "how was practice?"

Bobby shrugged "it was okay".

"Did any good?" Jack said "you know you got you'r first game in a week".

"I think I did" Bobby said.

After a few moments of silence, Jack said "so Lois is comin' to dinner tonight".

This took Bobby by surprise. He actually didn't believe Jess would go through with Jack's arrangement but he guessed wrong.

Bobby had known Lois since he was in the third grade. He had never really known the girl; just that she happened to like drawing a lot and talked a lot. In all, Bobby had probably spoken…maybe, two words to her. A friendly hello or something but that was pretty much it.

"Really?" Bobby said, "That's surprising. I thought he would have never".

"Yep, surprise for us all" Jack said, "So look, I need ya to finish up here. I'm still workin' on dinner"

Bobby smiled "goin' all out huh?" he said as Jack began to walk.

"It's a woman we're dealin' with" Jack said, "everythin' has to be better".

as Jack walked away, Bobby was tempted to call him back. he wanted to tell Jack what had happened between Jess and Doug but at the last moment he decided against it. if Jess truly wanted to handle this by himself, then so be it. he didn't like keeping secrets from Jack and Ennis but for this one, he could let it slide.

* * *

Jess finished his chores faster then usual and took a quick shower. He changed back into his clothes and headed down stairs. Jack was busy making a chicken, a roast, mashed potatoes, a salad, some biscuits, and even some sort of pie. Jess had to admit he was going all out for this thing but that still didn't mean he could cook.

"Oh, there you are Jess" Jack said, "When's Lois suppose to be hear?"

"Sixish" Jess said.

"Anything more specific?"

"No" Jess said.

After a few moments pause Jess said, "I hope you and Ennis aren't going to act like…"

"Don't worry, we won't" Jack said "Ennis likes to keep our little thing a secret so believe me he won't be showing any affection".

"I should bring her over more often then," Jess said.

"What have I said bout usin' that sorta talk?"

"You only said I can't call you a fag, nothing else" Jess looked at the oven "your pie's burning". With that Jess walked out of the door while Jack hurriedly pulled out the sizzling pie. Idiot Jess thought.

Jess sat on the porch for a while. Bobby and Ennis soon came back from their work and headed into the house to clean up. After a few more minutes, Lois's car pulled up.

"Hey Jess!" Lois said as she got out of the car.

"Hey Lois" Jess replied.

"Well I'm starvin" Lois said, "I hope we're eatin' soon".

"I think we are" Jess said. Jess stood there for a moment, looking at his feet.

"Well come on, don't just stand there, lets go in" Lois said

"Oh right" Jess said snapping back to reality "uh, come on".

He and Lois entered the house "nice little place ya got here" Lois said. Then Jack appeared from out of the kitchen.

"Hello there" Jack said, "You must be-" but before Jack could say anymore Lois interrupted.

"Lois" she said, taking Jack's hand "Lois Madera. You must be Jack Twist; I know cause you look so much like Bobby. So, what are we havin'?"

"Well" Jack said "we're havin' chicken, a roast, salad, potatoes, and biscuits" Jess figured pie was off the menu for tonight.

"Really?" Lois said, "Why you didn't have to make all that food just for someone like me"

"No, I insist," Jack, said, "you'r a guest and guest should be treated extra special. Speakin' of which Bobby, Ennis, git on down here!" Ennis walked down the stair with Bobby right behind him.

"Hi ya Mr. Del Mar" she said walkin' over to Ennis "you remember me don't cha? Its Lois, I saw ya at the school that one day".

"Uh ya right" Ennis said, a bit of put by her enthusiasm "nice to see ya".

"Hello there Bobby" she then said "its nice to see ya, how ya doin?"

"Fine there Lois" Bobby said.

"Sorry bout cha losin' the quarterback position. Still can't believe that Macarthur guy got it, you know I think he was takin' some kinda steroids or somethin'. Ain't no way someone that bad coulda gotten that much better over the summer, just completely baffles me. So when are we eatin?" Ennis, Jack, and Bobby were both takin aback by Lois's quick statement but Jack soon recovered.

"I think we can eat right now" he said.

"Cool" Lois said "cause right now I can eat a horse for all I care".

The four men sat down in their usual spots while Lois grabbed an extra chair and sat next to Jess. Jess actually took some bites of his food while Lois just ate hers up like they were the best food on earth.

"So Lois" Jack said "doesn't you'r dad run the grocery store?"

"Sure does" Lois said proudly "been in the family for three generations. My daddy hopes he can pass it on to me, you know keep the business alive, but I don't think that's for me. Personally I wanna go to an art school and get my degree"

"You can get a degree in art?" Bobby asked.

"Course ya can!" Lois said "you can get a degree in practically anythin' nowadays, ain't that right Jess?" Jess nearly coughed up his food but he kept it down and recovered from the shock.

"Um, ya" Jess said, "ya you can"

"See?" Lois said. Lois ate a few bites of her roast before she began to talk "so Mr. Twist, how long have you and Mr. Del Mar had the farm?"

"please, call me Jack" he said "I never really liked all them formalities".

"okay, Jack" Lois said "how long have you and Ennis had the farm?"

"well, almost thirteen years now, ain't that right Ennis?"

"sounds right" Ennis said.

"and do ya like it?" Lois asked.

"it's good enough for me" Jack said "I'm not sure bout Ennis though…"

"oh please Jack" Ennis said "truth be told, ain't never been good at much. Keepin' this farm goin' is bout the only thing I can really do well, so ya I do like it"

"Well that's nice" Lois said "my daddy says as long as you like you'r job, you ain't got nothin' to worry about. So Bobby, the first game of the seasons next week, ya nervous?"

"A little" Bobby said "but then again, I always get a little pre-game jitters so it's nothin' new. Why, you comin to the game?"

"well" Lois said "not sure, I barley go to any school games. I usually do it just to get some drawings done of the athletes. Hey, you goin' to the game Jess?"

Jess was a bit put of by that. He really wasn't going to go, he had never gone to any school games back at Bergtraum, why start now?

"I'm not sure" Jess said "I never really went to school games but…if you wanna go…"

"really?" Lois said "of course, lets go" she then turned to Bobby "so yes Bobby, I am goin' to the game" Jess didn't really talk much after that, just listened to the conversations that happened around the table.

Jack and Lois instantly connected, Jess sorta suspected this since Jack loved to talk and with Lois he could have an endless discussion. Bobby seemed to like Lois to, even quiet Ennis seemed to have been affected by her. For one, he spoke a lot more then he would have if this was a normal dinner. And to Jess's great thankfulness, Ennis and Jack weren't being…well them. Bobby hadn't told them yet about his problem with Doug but Jess figured he bring it up soon.

"That's mighty interestin" Lois said to some comment Jack had made. "so Jack, not to be nosy or nothin' but…you've been divorced from you'r wife for a while now…wait, are you divorced? Or are you some sorta widow?"

Jack laughed "no, unfortunately both Ennis and me are divorced" Jack paused for a moment "may I ask why?"

"well" Lois said "I mean, I ain't never seen ya'll with another woman since ya'll guises divorce. So, I'm just sayin, have ya ever thought of given it another go?"

Jess felt an awkward tension fill the room. "Well" Jack said "truth is, I was pretty devastated when I divorced my wife. I guess I never really moved on and I don't think I ever will".

"what about you Ennis?" Lois asked, "You ever tried it again?"

"Nope" Ennis said, "When I divorced Alma, I just sorta gave up on love".

Lois nodded "okay, if that's what you wish". After that, the room eased up after that and soon the talk began again.

After an hour of eating, everyone was full. Even Jess had managed to clean his plate of, an accomplishment in itself. And, Bobby didn't tell Jack or Ennis about Doug. it was a trade of for everyone

"phew, I gotta say Jack" Lois said "that was some pretty good cookin" Jess wasn't sure if she was being nice or that she really liked it.

"aw, you're just fibbin" Jack said "I know I ain't the best cook in the world".

"no, no, honest to god" Lois said "I actually liked it. Trust me Jack, I would have told ya if I didn't like it". Lois looked at the clock.

"well, its almost fifteen minutes to eight" she said "I best get goin".

"really?" Jack said "sure you can't stay any longer?"

"No, sorry" Lois said "I promised my daddy I'd be home before eight".

"All righty then" Jack said, getting up and walking over to her "it was a pleasure to meet ya". Lois took his hand and shook it.

"Pleasure is all mine" she said, "oh, it was nice seein' you again Ennis. And Bobby, I guess I'll see you at school then?"

"Ya, of course" Bobby said.

"Well, I hope ya'll invite me over some more" Lois said "I'll talk to ya tomorrow okay Jess?"

"Ya, course" Jess said.

"Ok then, well bye ya'll" with that, Lois grabbed her shoes and headed out of the door. Jack smiled "well, that came out nicely" he then gathered all the dishes and put them in the sink "you know Jess, you should invite her more often".

Then, as if some switch had turn on when Lois left, all of that armor Jess had brought down for the night suddenly came right back. Spikes and all "ya, I'll put that on my list" he said in a nasty voice "I'm going to bed".

He didn't wait for the men's response; he just headed upstairs and closed his door.

* * *

Ennis stood there in amazement. What the hell just happened there?

"Did I say somethin' wrong?" Jack said.

"You did nothin' Jack" Ennis said, "it's the old Jess we know and love"

"I still don't know why he's still actin' so hostel to us" Bobby said "I mean, just a few minutes ago he actually seemed like a kind person but when she left…"

"I guess its still gonna take a while for him to accept us" Jack said.

"Jack, when are you gonna give up already?" Ennis said, "Its pretty obvious, it's been obvious from the beginning. He wants nothin' to do with us. Nothin".

Jack angrily slammed a dish into the sink "Bobby, go upstairs" he said. Bobby looked at him "but-"

"No buts" Jack said "just go". Bobby obviously sensed something was wrong, so he obediently slipped out of the kitchen and headed to his room.

"You know what Ennis? I'm getting' pretty tired of this shit" Jack said.

"What might that be?" Ennis said.

"I am sick of you'r attitude over Jess. How many times do I have to tell you? He will come around".

Ennis got up "and how many times do I have to tell you he won't?"

"You know" Jack said, "If you don't want him, why don't you just ship him of?"

"I never said that" Ennis said.

"Well it sure sounded like you did" Jack said "and I don't think you'r one to be talkin'. It ain't like you've tried anythin' big to mend things between you and him".

"Maybe that's because I'm the one he hates most" Ennis said.

"He doesn't hate you Ennis" Jack said, "he's just angry at you".

"What's the difference Jack!" Ennis said, "I have tried, I have tried to reach out to him!"

"it don't seem like you'r tryin" Jack said "it seems like all you've done is given up on him".

"oh and what?" Ennis voice now had anger in it "what do you suggest we do Jack? If you'r such a big expert, why not give me some advice?"

"Because I am not his father Ennis Del Mar" Jack shot back "you are! Whether he hates or not, you are his dad. You'r the only one of his parents he's got left. It ain't like with Bobby wear he can talk to his mom and visit her once in a while, Jess doesn't have that! All he has now is you"

Jack looked at Ennis intensely, then he took a breath "look Ennis, you've been a great parent to Bobby ever since he was four".

"but I ain't-" Ennis was about to complain but Jack cut him of.

"no Ennis" Jack said "don't you try and deny it. You are, you have been the best parent you could ever be with Bobby. Heck, you've done a hell of a lot more for that boy then Lureen ever did. He is you'r son too Ennis" Jack wrapped his arms around Ennis's neck.

"now" Jack said "its time for you to be that parent with Jess". Jack then kissed Ennis, softly. He pulled away and looked Ennis right in the eye.

"what then" Ennis said "how can I be that parent to him? I haven't been with him since he was three. The Jess I remembered was so full of energy and happiness, always so excited to see me when I came home from work. Now, he's become somethin' else entirely. I barley even recognize him anymore" Ennis said that last part with such sadness.

Jack lifted Ennis's chin and kissed him again "you will Ennis" Jack said "in time, you'll see that three year old boy you remembered so fondly. What you have to do now Ennis Del Mar, is wait for the right moment" Jack kissed Ennis again and embraced him in a tight hug.

"but when?" Ennis said in Jack's ear "when will that moment come?" Jack kissed Ennis's neck.

"soon cowboy" he whispered "soon".


	11. Chapter 11

Bobby had enjoyed last nights dinner. It may have ended of on a sour note but it was still enjoyable. Bobby liked Lois, she may run her mouth of a bit too much but she was a pretty decent girl.

Bobby still couldn't figure out why Jess was still trying to fight them. He figured that last night they might have made some progress in breaking through that armor of his but once again he managed to cut them down and keep them out.

Maybe there is no way to reach him Bobby thought maybe he's just a lost cause.

He headed down stairs wear Jack and Ennis were already eating some breakfast. Bobby got some leftover bacon and an egg and sat down next to Jack.

"Hey Bobby" Jack said, "I need ya to do me and Ennis a favor".

"Sure" Bobby said, "what is it?"

"We need you to head down to the post office and mail out a letter" Jack said.

"A letter?" Bobby said "what for?"

"Well" Jack said "me and Ennis got a call a few days ago from some big shot rancher up north. Peter Thatcher is the name" Bobby had never heard of him.

"So what did this guy want?" Bobby asked.

"It appears" Jack said, "He's interested in our little farm and is askin' for a partnership"

Bobby nearly choked on his bacon "r-really?" his voice excited "Jack that's great!" and it was. If they were able to get an actual partnership with someone that would mean there income would nearly double.

And if it was really a big shot that was asking for the partnership…well the possibilities were endless for Bobby.

"Hey now" Ennis said "don' be getting' you'r hopes up. We still need to check with this guy and see what we're gettin' ourselves into. If we don't like what we see, then he can forget about it" Bobby's enthusiasm went down a bit but he knew it was perfectly understandable.

But it would be nice to have some extra money, that way they can get some new repairs for the farm and maybe spend a bit more on the house. maybe even indulge on themselves a bit.

"Oh also" Jack said "since you'r doin that, I think it would be nice if you helped Jess learn how to drive".

Bobby wasn't prepared for that "what?" he asked in a dumbfounded voice.

"Well, you did say you wanna teach him" Jack said, "I just think today would be perfect".

"But I wasn't serious about it!" Bobby said, "I mean, what if he says no? Which I suspect he will".

"I don't care if you have to force him into the car you'r self" Jack replied "ain't no excuse for a sixteen year old to not know how to drive. He can't except us to be haulin' his ass everywhere, someday he's gonna have to learn. So please Bobby, just do it. For me?"

Bobby sat there silent for a moment, and then the guilt of his dads request got to him "all right" Bobby said, "I'll teach him".

* * *

Jess slipped into another band t-shirt (Genesis) and headed downstairs. The three men were already up. Jess knew they would try and give him a talking about how he left things last night but he didn't care. He fixed his coffee and finished it in a few thirsty gulps.

Jess got up to go do his chore until. Bobby called behind him "wait" what is it? Jess thought did they now want to talk?

Bobby came over to him "you still wanna learn how to drive?" this caught Jess by surprise. He had never given much thought about Bobby's request to help him learn to drive and he figured Bobby had forgotten about it. Jess debated whether or not he should. It would be a useful skill he thought and it would get him out of chores for a few hours or so.

So Jess just shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes" Bobby said. Bobby then got up and he and Jess walked out to the car.

"Okay here" he handed Jess the keys "lets get started then".

Jess climbed into the drivers seat and started up the car. He was nervous, he had never ever been behind the wheel before. Well, except a couple weeks ago when he went to go get registered. But at that time, he didn't even get the car moving. Now, now he was actually going to have to drive this thing.

"Ok" Bobby said, "Now, this stick right here controls when you put the car into drive, reverse, or neutral" I know that Jess thought bitterly.

"So first, we have to back up. Do this by pushing down on the brakes and moving the stick into position 5. So push on the brakes and I'll tell you were to go" so that's what I was doing wrong Jess thought.

So Jess pushed down on the brake and Bobby said "okay now push the stick right, then down" Jess did that and this time, the stick actually moved. No weird screeching noise followed.

"Okay now" Bobby said, "Now take your foot of the brake and down on the gas pedal" unfortunately, Bobby forgot to say push down gently. Jess pushed down and the gas pedal and the car did a fast jerking motion back.

"Easy easy!" Bobby said "not that hard, just easy. Now turn your head back and keeping the wheel as straight as possible move back".

Jess looked over and gently pushed on the gas pedal and the car slowly began to back up "now, turn the wheel to your right".

Jess thought he meant the car's right and began to turn in the wrong direction "no, the other way, other way!" Jess nearly hit Jack's car before he quickly turned the car.

"Okay" Bobby said, a bit winded "okay, now that we've done that, push on the brake again and shift the gear stick to position 1"

Jess pushed on the brake "now pull the gear stick up and go left all the way until you stop. Then go up" Jess followed these instructions and shifted the car into drive.

"Okay" Bobby said, "Now, this car has bout three other positions. You already know 5 are reverse and 1 is drive. Numbers 2 and 3 are other forward gears but have a bit more power to them. As for the fourth…well actually I barley know what the fourth gear does" how funny Jess thought.

"Now, turn the wheel all the way until it stops and push on the gas pedal…gently though!"

"I know I know" Jess said. He turned the wheel all the way and pushed on the gas. The car then slowly angled out onto the dirt road.

"Now bring the wheel back to its original position" Jess did "okay, now we just go straight. Remember, push on the gas easily and shift the wheel when we come to turns but not so sharply. You think you got that?" Jess nodded.

"Okay" Bobby said "let's give it a go".

Jess wasn't exactly a natural to this whole driving thing. The car would jerk whenever Jess tried to adjust the speed and he kept on turning the wheel sharply even though Bobby kept yelling at him to make smaller turns.

It took them double the time until they finally reached the end of the dirt road before the highway began.

"Okay, shift it to neutral" Jess did.

"Okay" Bobby said "that wasn't so…bad" oh please Jess thought spare me the theatrics.

"We'll just have to practice more" Bobby said. If ever Jess thought.

"Can we go home now?" Jess asked.

"Not yet" Bobby said "we need to go to the post office first".

Jess shot Bobby an angry look "I already went threw your drivers training. You never said anything about going anywhere".

"Come on" Bobby said, "don't make this hard".

"I don't want to go to some post office" Jess barked back "okay you know, never mind. I'll walk home" Jess angrily opened the door and began to walk down the dirt road.

* * *

God mother fucking dammit! Bobby thought. Why, why does that kid always have to do that? Blow up over the smallest little things. Why does he have to act like a spoiled little kid all the time?

Bobby was just so sick of his attitude. If he was Jack, he would have kicked that kid out onto the streets to teach him some god damn manners.

But he wasn't Jack. Unlike he or Ennis, Jack still held out that hope that somehow they could tear down all the armor and spikes and actually get to see the real Jess that only Lois ever saw.

But Bobby figured that was never going to happen. For all he knew, he had just simply given up on Jess.

Well Bobby thought might as well go to the post office and get it over with. Bobby shifted over to the drivers seat and pulled onto the main road into Shattuck.

The post office was a small brick building at the very beginning of the small walk of stores and shops of Shattuck's main road.

He parked his car on the curb and headed into the place. It was a small place with only a few people inside; all lined up at the counter were a woman stood.

Bobby got in the back of the line and after a few more minutes his turn came up.

"How can I help ya?" the woman said in a raspy voice.

"I need to send a letter" Bobby handed her the letter Jack had given him. The woman looked at it for a few minutes and then nodded her head.

"Okay" she said, "hang on one moment" she then disappeared into the door at the back. Bobby waited there for a few minutes and then the woman came back.

"Here" she said "you have mail for this month" she handed Bobby a wade of letters. Bobby thanked her.

"And your letter has been sent" she said.

"Okay, thank you" Bobby then walked out the building and climbed into his car. He shuffled threw the mail a bit. It was the usual bills, junk mail, and other such stuff that weren't meant for Bobby. Then, he saw the last piece of a mail was a letter addressed to Jess.

Curious, Bobby held up the letter. It was from some woman named Marlene Withers, addressed from New York. It must be one of his friends back home he figured.

Not thinking any more of it, he started up the car and drove back home.

* * *

Jess came sulking into the horse stales after a twenty-minute walk down the road. Jack saw him.

"So how did the lessons go?" Jack asked.

Jess glared at him and headed of to do his chores. He didn't want to give Jack the satisfaction of how badly he did.

"Hey wait" Jack called to him "where's Bobby?" but Jess didn't answered him.

Bobby soon pulled up to the house, back from the post office. He soon joined Jess in doing their annual work.

Soon dinner came around and once again Jess kept to himself, picking his food, the normal routine. After a few minutes of silence Bobby said "you got mail today".

This caught Jess's attention. Mail? From whom? Was it from one of his friends back home? Jess suddenly became excited and quickly shoveled down the awful tasting food.

"Done" Jess said quickly, he put his dish in the sink and soon caught sight of the letters on the counter. After a quick shuffle he found the letter. Jess felt his heart skipped, it was from Marlene.

Jess missed Marlene; she was always there to bring a smile to his face when he worked at Marty's. He then realized that he hadn't thought about her in a long time. This made Jess even sadder, it felt as if he was slowly losing touch with the New York he had loved for so long. Now, he barley remembered what that life was. All he could remember was life in this shit hole.

He snapped back to reality and then headed upstairs.

* * *

When Jess left, Jack turned to Bobby.

"Who's the letter from?" he asked, out of curiosity.

"From some chick named Marlene" replied Bobby.

"That's it?" Jack asked. Bobby shrugged his shoulders.

"So how did he do?" Ennis asked, "with the driving I mean".

"Well" Bobby said, "He ain't perfect".

"What" Jack said "its his first time, of course he isn't goin' to be perfect. I know I wasn't, the first time I tried to drive a car I nearly ran over some old woman".

Bobby chuckled a bit at this, as did Ennis.

"Oh, what are you laughin at there cowboy?" Jack said to Ennis "if I remember correctly, when you first tried to drive you crashed the car the instructor had". Bobby laughed a bit harder at this.

"Oh hush Jack" Ennis said. Ennis then shoved Jack a little and Jack returned with another playful shove.

"So I take it went well?" Ennis asked.

"Well, not exactly" Bobby said "we sorta got into a fight at the end and he stormed off".

"Bout what?" Ennis asked.

Bobby shrugged again "you know, just the usual rebellin" Jack shook his head.

"But at least he got behind the wheel?" Jack asked. Bobby nodded "then that's all that matters". They finished dinner a few minutes later. Bobby headed upstairs while Jack started to clean the dishes.

Ennis snuck up behind him and whispered in his ear "you better hurry up with those dishes" he said in a whisper.

"Oh?" Jack said "and what is my reward if I do?"

"nothin' big" Ennis said as he began to stick his hand down Jacks pants.

"Ennis!" Jack said, "Since when did you become so frisky?"

"Oh I don't know" Ennis said "since now. But, better hurry" with that Ennis pulled his hand out and headed upstairs. Jack hurriedly washed the dishes and then began to run up the stairs while quickly un-buckling his pants.

* * *

When Jess got upstairs, he quickly plopped down on his bed and opened the letter. Inside was a letter written in Marlene's handwriting. It read,

_Dear Jess,_

_How are ya doing at your new home? I miss you a whole lot. So sorry about your mom, I know she was a good woman. Things just aren't the same at the dinner without you and I've gotten a bit lonely hear. I mean, who really wants to listen to the worries of some college girl? Well, I'm just writing to give you something. Think of it as a late going away present from yours truly. See, you left in such a hurry you never got the chance to get your paycheck from Marty. He was originally not gonna send it seeing as you just up and left without a second check but I made him change his mind. So, here's your money, go crazy with it! Well, I hope to talk to ya soon. Who knows, maybe you might pay a visit back to the Big Apple and come see me. Good luck!_

_Sincerely, Marlene._

Jess looked in the letter and sure enough found a wad of cash that totaled out to three hundred dollars. Good old Marlene he thought. He can't remember the last time he had actual cash; here it was all work and no pay.

But now, he had money and Jess figured he should do what Marlene said and go spend it.

The next morning, Jess woke up earlier then usual and slipped into some faded jeans and another band t-shirt (Queen). He then slipped outside quietly and ran as fast as he could down the road.

He was going to meet Lois at the soccer park. And sure enough when he got there he saw her sitting on one of the benches.

"Hey Lois!" Jess called to her. She turned around and smiled.

"Howdy there Jess" she said, breaking into a big smile. She wore another pair of super short jeans and a dark green top.

"You doing anything today?" he asked.

"Well, no" Lois said "why, what did cha had in mind?"

Jess got out the wad of bills and showed them to Lois.

"Holy shit!" Lois said, snapping her drawing pad shut and jumping of the bench "were did ya get all that money?" she asked.

"You remember that job I had back in New York?" he asked.

"That Marty's place?" she replied.

"Yes that's it" he said, "Well, my friend who works there just sent me my paycheck I never got. So I was thinking maybe of spending it, you wanna come with? I can sure use someone who knows this town"

Lois nodded "do I ever! Come on, I happen to know the perfect places". With that they headed down the alley and were on Shattuck's main road.

The first thing Jess wanted was a new blanket for his bed. That scratchy thing was getting on his last nerves. Lois took Jess to a small furnishing store. Jess scoured for the cheapest bed spread and finally found one that was affordable and wasn't at all itchy.

After that, Jess saw an art store just across the street "you wanna get something?" he asked pointing to the shop.

"No!" Lois exclaimed, "this is you'r money Jess, you spend it how you want".

"No, I insist," He took Lois's hand and began to pull "come on, I know you want something there".

"Well" Lois said "maybe a few things…well if you insist" she then grabbed his arm and jerked him across the street to the art store.

They spent an hour there, looking at all the art supplies and comparing materials like oil pastels, drawing pads, paints, and other such things. Lois eventually got herself another drawing pad and some pastels.

Then Lois spotted a clothing store "come on" Lois said "I wanna try somethin' first" she then hauled him into the store were all he could see were cowboy attire for men and girls clothing that were like replicas of his moms.

"Wait here" she said, pointing to a bench "I'll be right back" she then hurried of into the men's department. Jess waited there a few minutes and she soon returned with cowboy attire in hand.

"No way" Jess said.

"Oh come on" Lois said "just for a little fun".

"I will not, I refuse" Jess said. There was no way he was going to dress up like some hick down south.

"Please!" Lois said, her eyes getting big. Jess was close to saying no again but what the hell it was only for fun.

"Fine" he said getting up "but I won't like it". Jess found the dressing room and then changed into this cowboy attire. Well, Jess hated it. The jeans were way to tight for him and the shirt felt like some sort of evening shirt. The cowboy boots were no better. He reluctantly stepped out of the dressing room.

Lois gave a whistle "well, look at you handsome" she said in a sly voice.

"Okay, I'm done" jess then immediately got back into the dressing room.

He then saw himself in the mirror and his heart suddenly dropped. What he saw in the reflection terrified him. He looked almost like his father. He had vowed to never be like his father, to never dress like him, think like him, or talk like him. Now, just looking at himself in the mirror he seemed to have just shot his promise right to hell.

He quickly changed out of the attire and slipped into his own clothes and walked out of the dressing room.

Lois and him spent a few more hours looking around town until they had visited every place. Lois looked at him "well that was fun" she said.

"Ya" Jess said.

"You should get three hundred dollars more often" she said. Jess laughed a bit.

"Well, I better get on home" he said.

"Ya, me to, my daddy's bound to be worried" Lois replied, "well, thanks for this awesome day and for the supplies".

"It was nothing," Jess said.

"Okay, see ya tomorrow at school" Lois then waved by and began to walk down the road. Then Jess turned north and began to head home. He knew that Jack and Ennis would have something to say about this.


	12. Chapter 12

When Jess got back to the house, it was little over one and the three men were nowhere to be found. Good he thought can deal with them later.

Jess headed up to his room and got out the new blanket he bought. He stripped of the scratchy old one and remade his bed with this new blanket. It may have only been a simple gray blanket but it didn't itch and it was the cheapest one they had.

Jess looked in his pocket and saw he had about fifty dollars left. He stored the money in the top most drawer, putting it at the bottom of all his band t-shirts. Then Jess headed downstairs into the living room.

It was already to late doing his chores now, so he might as well watch some TV until they get back. Once again, he had to settle for the lousy soap operas on ABC and after forty minutes he had quiet enough melodrama for one day.

Jess laid there on the couch, letting his mind wander into parts unknown. He picked idly at his large studded bracelet and chewed on his tongue. What to do? Jess thought what to do, what to do.

After lying on the couch for who knows how long, Jess drifted of to sleep.

* * *

When Jess hadn't shown up for breakfast this morning, Ennis walked up to his room to wake him only to find his bed empty. Oh, not again Ennis thought.

He headed downstairs were Bobby was finishing his breakfast and Jack was sipping some coffee.

"He ain't in his room" Ennis said, "I think he's gone of again".

"Again?" Jack said "wait, did we even do anythin?"

"Must have been that letter" Ennis said, "maybe it reminded him to much of New York and he just decided to head of".

"Oh stop Ennis" Jack said, "You know that ain't true. Besides, was his stuff still in his room?" Ennis nodded "then quit worrin' so much" Jack said "he'll be back".

"maybe" Bobby muttered.

The men then headed of to the farm. Each one did a fair share of Jess's required work and after a hard day, they went back to the house.

When Ennis walked in, he saw Jess sleeping on the couch.

Ennis walked over and shook Jess's shoulder, hard.

"W-what?" Jess said in an irritated voice.

"Where did you go of to this mornin?" Ennis growled.

"I went out with Lois, sue me" Jess said.

"You could have at least left a note" Ennis replied.

"Oh don't get your panties in a bunch" Jess replied, "I came back, didn't I? So why don't you just fuck off".

"How bout not" Jack said, walking next to Ennis.

"What are you going to do?" Jess said in a challenging voice "ground me? I like to see you try".

"That ain't a bad idea" Jack said, "you'r grounded for the week".

"Oh look who's being parent of the year again," Jess said in a sarcastic voice.

"That's it" Jack said, "You just bought yourself double the work load" Jess rolled his eyes. He then got off the couch and walked past the men before deliberately bumping into Jack.

He then headed up the stairs "Fag!" he yelled angrily from upstairs. This was followed by the loud slam of the door.

* * *

Apparently, Jess had underestimated just how far Jack and Ennis would take this whole grounding thing. He was only allowed out of the house to go to school, that was it. This meant he wasn't allowed to go to the game this Friday. Jess didn't tell Lois though; he'd find a way to get to the game.

As soon as he got home, he was instantly put to work. Jack and Ennis gave him the most grueling of tasks to complete, sometimes even staying out so late that nighttime came. must have been from that fag comment he thought. When he finished his work and got back in he was given cold leftovers for dinner.

As for school…well actually, school had gotten a bit more tolerable. Though Jess hated to admit it but Bobby did manage to scare Doug off him. Now, gym wasn't a daily punishment. It was still gym but he couldn't complain.

Jess had even begun to finally master the basics in drawing. Thanks to Lois's teachings, he began to rely on her less and less and soon was now creating actual good pictures that didn't look like some sort of deformed blob. He was still far away from being as good as Lois but that's okay, he wasn't looking for an art major.

Friday soon rolled around and it seemed like the entire town was ready for the football game. All Jess could hear from the classmates was talk about how the game would turn out. Jess figured so, this being such a small town football games must be what they most look forward to.

Jess still didn't have an idea how good the team was but from the towns reaction he was thinking that maybe they had some skill.

Jess sat there eating his sandwich on one of the rocks when Lois said, "so Jess, ya free tomorrow night?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Well" she said "my daddy said it would be all right if ya came over for dinner and all". That actually sounded like a nice idea and if would be nice to eat over at someone else's house for a change. And maybe get some decent food.

"I'll have to ask Jack and Ennis" Jess said. He wasn't sure they'd let him go considering how he'd been acting. But since when did he care what they thought of him?

"Okay" Lois said "give my you'r answer when I pick you up for the game" Jess wondered if he should tell her about him being grounded…but then again, if Ennis and Jack were going it would be easy for him to walk out the door.

Soon, the ball clanged, signaling the end of school. As Jess walked out he could see some banners put on the football players lockers saying good luck and all.

Jess walked out and Lois soon pulled up. As they began to drive threw town, Jess could see the signs beginning to go up.

Closed for the game is what most of them read. Guess football is big in this town Jess thought.

They pulled up to the house "I'll pick you up at six" Lois said "that should give us enough time before kick off".

"Okay" Jess said "see ya then". He closed the door of car and headed up to the house.

They finished chores up early today and ate an even earlier dinner. Bobby was sitting at his seat, nervously drumming his fingers.

"Nervous?" asked Jack.

"A little" Bobby replied.

"Don't be" Ennis said "you'll do great". Bobby smiled. After a few minutes, Jack looked at the clock.

"You better get goin" Jack said "don't wanna be late". Bobby nodded and finished his food. He then grabbed his boots.

"We'll be there by six okay?" Jack said.

"All right" Bobby said.

"And good luck" Ennis said.

"Thanks" then Bobby headed out of the door, leaving Jess with the two men. Jess ate his meal when he remembered Lois's arrangement for him to have dinner.

"Lois invited me over to her house" Jess said "can I go?" Ennis looked at Jack.

"Ya, sure" Jack said, "I think we can do that. That okay with ya Ennis?"

"Don't matter to me," Ennis mumbled.

"Then yes, you can" Jack said.

"Kay" Jess replied. he ate the remainder of his meal and walked to the sink.

"I hope you don't have any ideas bout sneakin' out tonight," Jack said.

"What? You're gonna lash me to the house" Jess said.

"If it'll keep ya here" Ennis said.

Jess glared "you don't honestly except me to stay here?"

"Yes we do," replied Jack.

"Well" Jess said, crossing his arms "you can't make me". Ennis got up and walked right to him.

"Oh, really?" Ennis said. Jess stared at him, his eyes hard. After a few moments, Ennis sighed.

"Well, I guess we can't make ya" huh? Jess thought. He accepted a bit more of a fight but this worked to.

"Ennis" Jack said.

"No Jack" he replied, "I believe he's made his point. Its not like were gonna stay here and baby-sit him".

"Well, I can stay-" Jack began but Ennis cut him off.

"No Jack, this game is way to important to miss. You don't want the boy thinkin' you didn't bother goin' to the game?" Jack shook his head.

Ennis turned to Jess "is Lois pickin' you up?" Jess nodded.

"Okay" Ennis said "but first, I need ya to fix you'r bed before you go" Jess thought this was a bit odd. Ennis had never asked him to make his bed he just did it naturally. So Jess just shrugged oh well he thought it's just a bed.

So Jess headed upstairs and walked into his room. Then he realized something. He had already made his bed this morning. Then he heard the door shut behind him.

Turning around, he headed to the door and tried to turn the knob. It was locked.

* * *

As Jess walked up the stairs, Ennis grabbed one of the kitchen chairs. Jack gave him a questioning look.

"What the hell are you doin' Ennis Del Mar?" he asked.

"Wait" Ennis replied.

Once he saw Jess enter his room, Ennis quickly grabbed the door and slammed it shut. He then jammed the chair up against the knob. He saw the knob gangle a bit and then loud thumping from the door.

"What the hell?" Jess said, "Open this door!"

"Sorry bout this Jess" Ennis said "but can't trust ya enough to leave you here alone".

"You cock sucking fag!" yelled Jess "open this door! I swear to god, I'll fucking cut you!"

"We'll be back soon," Ennis said, ignoring Jess's protest "I'll open the door once we get home".

"Don't you fucking dare leave me locked in!" yelled Jess "open this god damn door you-" Ennis walked down the stairs, still hearing Jess throwing out every single queer slur he could think of.

Once down stairs, Jack was at the door.

"I knew there was somethin' funny goin' on" Jack said, a smile creeping onto his face "nice thinkin' there cowboy".

"Only thing I can think of to keep him in" Ennis said. He then slipped on his boots and the two men walked out of the house.

"You don't think we're being a bit harsh now?" Jack asked.

"Oh Jack quit worryin', he'll be fine. Besides, do you have a better idea of keepin' him in?"

Jack thought for a moment "well, I guess not".

"Then quit you'r worryin" Ennis said. They then climbed into the car and headed on down the road. As they drove down the road, Ennis felt Jack's hand rub his thigh.

"Jack" Ennis said. But Jack kept on going and soon began to drift to another part of Ennis's body.

"Jack!" Ennis said in surprise "what are you tryin' to do? Get us in an accident?"

"What accident?" Jack said "there's no one on the road. Besides, we have a few minutes before the game" Jack then leaned over and began to kiss Ennis's neck.

"Come on Jack!" Ennis said, as he pushed Jack of him "I'm about to swerve of the road here!"

They soon reached the football stadium were it was already beginning to pack with people. Ennis found himself a spot near the stadium. Then Jack scooted up real close to him, his face almost touching Ennis's.

"Jack!" Ennis said in alarm "not in public".

"Aw, look who's getting' all flustered" Jack said in a cooing voice, moving even closer to Ennis "how bout the bathroom at half time?" he suggested, his voice very tempting.

"Are you outta your damn mind Jack Twist!"? Ennis said, "what if someone…you know, walks in?"

"They'll just assume its some regular couple" Jack said, "the way you moan…"

"I already told ya" Ennis said, "I don't moan like a girl".

"Really?" Jack said, his eyes sparkling. He kissed Ennis lightly on the lips "then prove it". Ennis was so tempted, just so tempted to just ravage Jack right in the back seat and prove to him he wasn't no woman. But that familiar emotion of being caught grabbed hold of him and all his fears surfaced.

"Come on Jack, we're in public" Ennis said. Jack's eyes suddenly went dull and he slumped down in his seat.

"Oh come on Jack" Ennis said "don't be gettin' like this".

"I just wish for once Ennis" Jack said "you would at least…"

"Jack, we already discussed this" Ennis said "we agreed it was for the best" Jack shrugged.

"I guess," he muttered. Ennis then got out of the car and began to walk to the entrance when Jack came in front of him.

"You know" Jack said, the sparkle back in his eyes "the offer still stands" he then got extremely close to Ennis's face, then pulled away and headed of for the stands.

"God damn it tease" Ennis muttered under his breath. He just can't take no for a answer.

* * *

Jess kept on banging at the door until his shoulder got sore. That ass hole actually locked me in he thought. Jess did not expect Ennis would actually do something like that, apparently he underestimated him.

Okay, think Jess thought Lois is gonna be here soon and if you don't come out she might think you blew her of. And Jess didn't want to lose his only friend here in this town.

So think he thought I can't simply break down the door. He knew he wasn't that strong and there was no way he could move the chair. So how am I to get out? Then he spotted the window.

Window he thought that's it! He quickly got onto his bed. He just prayed this thing could open. He pushed on the window and sure enough it opened. Yes! Jess thought. It was far too small for him to climb out and even if he did he'd just fall right to the ground. No, what Jess planed to do was call out for Lois when she came. He knew he'd had to explain how he lied to her but he would worry about that once he got to it.

He soon saw Lois's beat up Vista Cruiser pull up into the driveway.

"Lois!" he yelled "Lois!" he waited and she didn't come out. "Lois!" he yelled "Lois!"

then, he saw the car door open and Lois stepped out "Lois! Over here!" he saw her look up in his direction.

"there you are!" she yelled "what are you doin? Yellin' down at me like that?"

"well!" Jess said "I sorta got grounded his Sunday and well…they locked me in my room"

"locked ya in you'r room!" Lois said "well, that ain't no good"

"so uh" Jess said "could ya, um open the door for me?"

"won't ya get in trouble?" she asked.

"not if I get home before they do" Jess said.

"I don't know, I mean if you'r grounded and all…"

"no please Lois!" Jess said "I can't stay in this room for four hours I'll tear my hair out! Besides, I'm sure you've broken the rules before too" Lois shuffled her feet a bit.

"oh" she said "what the hell! Its only teenage rebellion. All right, I'll be right up" Lois then ran onto the porch. Jess found a small handle on the inside of the window and closed it shut. He waited a few minutes before the door opened and Lois stood there.

"well come on" she said "we better hurry if we're gonna make kickoff" Jess nodded. The two then raced down the stairs and climbed into Lois's car.

"You know" Lois said, "it's always a bit exciting, breakin' the rules ya know".

"no shit" Jess said. Lois laughed and then pulled the car out and off they went.

* * *

"Oh come on ref!" yelled Jack, getting of his seat "what the hell kinda call was that?"

"Sit down Jack" Ennis said "its not like he's gonna change the call over one angry parent". Jack reluctantly sat back down, still fuming over the whole thing. Jack tended to get a bit emotional over the football games. He always had the idea that he knew more about plays then the ref himself and would always yell out over calls he felt were totally unnecessary.

It wasn't exactly a great start to the team. It was nearing the end of the first quarter and they were down four to one. But there was still plenty of time left in the game, so they had a good chance of catching up.

"Bathroom?" Jack suggested.

"Jack!" Ennis exclaimed.

"What? Only askin," he said.

"Well, can't ya keep that to you'r self?"

"Oh don't be getting' all defensive" Jack said "besides, you seemed eager bout it before".

"I was not," Ennis said.

"Oh please" Jack said "I saw that look in you'r eye. You were just itchin' to go at me".

"Was not," Ennis muttered.

"Don't be lyin' to me now Ennis Del Mar" Jack said, sliding closer to him.

"Come on Jack" Ennis said, pushing him a bit "not out in public".

"Sorry but I love seein' ya get all flustered like that" Jack said "makes ya look sexy".

"Jack!" Ennis exclaimed.

Soon the first quarter ended and things didn't get much better in the second half. The opposing team scored another touchdown and Jack was now up on his feat, ranting to the ref.

"Come on, I can make a better call blindfolded!" Jack yelled. By the time second quarter was coming to an end, they were now down fifteen to six.

"Bathroom?" Jack suggested for a second time.

"Jack" Ennis said "I've already been threw this".

"Oh come on Ennis" Jack said "can't you ease up a bit? Besides, I'm lookin' for something' to take my anger out on" Ennis felt a hot flash race across his body. He knew exactly what Jack was talking about. It was then Ennis realized his growing problem.

"Oh look what ya did now Jack!" Ennis exclaimed, pulling his jacket down further to cover his problem.

"You know" Jack said, "That's another reason for the bathroom". Jack began to reach over and Ennis batted his hand away.

"Jack!" Ennis said.

"All right, all right" Jack said, "I get it. No bathroom then" soon, the whistle blew and it was the end of the second quarter.

* * *

Lois and Jess had to park a few blocks away from the stadium because it was all full and this was the only place they could find. They then walked up to the stadium and entered onto the bleachers.

It seemed like the entire town had come out for this Jess thought. It was still relatively small group, not unlike the sheer thousands that packed the stadiums at New York for baseball games but it was probably the most people Jess had seen in a while.

It was almost the middle of the first quarter when they entered and had to bump into a lot of people before finding a spot.

"Ah" Lois sighed, "Here we go, nice little spot" they were three rows back from the field and so far Jess hadn't spotted Jack or Ennis. Looking up at the scoreboard, their team was losing. Jess didn't bother with specifics; he just wanted to know who was winning.

For most of the first and second quarter, Lois sketched some drawings in her notepad. Some were of players catching the ball, beginning a play, and even throwing the ball. Bobby was actually doing pretty well. He managed to throw the ball at all his targets, was able to run a few yards, and from what Jess saw he seemed to be the best on the team.

It still baffled him that some ass wipe like Doug could have gotten the quarterback position but who was he to judge? He barley knew anything about the sport. When the whistle was blew signaling halftime, Lois looked up from her drawings.

"So, who's winnin?" she asked.

"The other team" Jess said.

"Aw" Lois said "and here I was hopin' we get a win on our first game of the season".

"Maybe we can still win" Jess said.

But by the time the final quarter came into play, it seemed like there chances of winning had gone right down the drain. Wait, fourth quarter Jess thought I better get home before Jack and Ennis.

"Hey Lois" Jess said, "you don't mind if we leave a bit early? You know, with the whole being grounded and all".

"Oh ya" Lois said, "We better. That's all right, I got plenty of sketches done". They got up and began to push threw the throngs of people. And once again, Jess didn't spot Jack or Ennis.

The two made there way to Lois's car and were soon on the road again. They pulled up to the house a few minutes later.

"Wait" Jess said "I need you to come up and put the chair back in its original place".

"Oh right" Lois said, "to cover up the fact you've been out all night. Oh, it's just so exciting breakin' the rules and coverin' up our tracks. Why I feel some sorta spy workin' for the government".

"Well, don't report me to the president" Jess said jokingly. They walked into the house and up the stairs. Jess headed into the room and Lois closed the door.

"Okay, its in place" she called from behind the door "oh, one more thing. What did Jack and Ennis say about dinner?" shoot, Jess nearly forgot.

"They said it was fine" Jess replied.

"Okay" Lois said, "How's bout I pick ya up at…sevenish?"

"Sevenish" Jess said, "Got it".

"Okay" Lois said in a happy voice "sees ya tomorrow".

"Bye" Jess called. He heard Lois then run down the stairs. He got up on his bed and saw her get into the beat up car and then made her way down the dirt road.

* * *

The game had ended with a score of twenty-one to thirteen. Jack and Ennis were outside waiting for Bobby. They knew he might need some consoling for tonight's lost.

"Well, that was a pitiful display" Ennis said.

"Ya" Jack said "its because of the damn Macarthur kid, can't he follow a simple play instead of tryin' to impress everyone and go right for the touchdown? All he got was a slam in the chest"

Ennis lit up a cigarette. By now, the crowds were beginning to thin and he and Jack were one of the few people left in the parking lot.

"You should think bout quitting one of these days," Jack said.

"And why?" Ennis asked.

"There bad for ya, that's why" Jack said.

"I ain't quitting the one thing that relaxes me" Ennis replied.

"Hey, I thought I was the one who was suppose to relax you" Jack said as he edged closer to Ennis.

"Jack" Ennis said "still in public. Can't ya wait till home?"

"There's barley anyone here" Jack said.

"but there are still some" Ennis replied "just wait a few"

"Can't help it" Jack said, "You know I can't when I'm around ya".

"Well try" Ennis said as he took a long drag on his cigarette. Soon Bobby came out, his head held low not daring to look at Jack or Ennis. Jack came over and put an arm around Bobby.

"Hey now bud" he said "you did great tonight".

"We lost dad" he said in a low voice.

"Ya, because of that Macarthur kid" Jack said. But that wasn't helping much. Sensing his son's discomfort, he took his arm of him.

"Ah don't worry bout it Jack" Ennis said "he always gets like this after a loss. Believe me, tomorrow he'll be back to his old self". The two men then got in the car and drove out of the parking lot. Like last time, Jack kept on rubbing Ennis's thigh causing him to complain he was trying to get them into a crash.

Once the got home, they saw Bobby had already arrived. Once they got in, Jack then slammed Ennis against the door and kissed him hard.

"Jesus Jack" Ennis said, surprised by the sudden jump.

"Sorry partner" Jack said "you've just been holdin' out on me all night" he kissed Ennis a few more times "and now its time to pay up". Jack pressed himself upon Ennis and began to unbutton his shirt.

"h-hold on there" Ennis said "let me go check on Jess first, see he ain't gotten out". Jack was barley listening, being to busy unbuttoning Ennis's shirt and kissing his neck.

"You locked him in" Jack said, "it ain't like he goin' anywhere" Jack began to slip of Ennis's belt now.

"Hang on hang on there horn dog" Ennis said, "I'll just be a few" he pushed Jack of and made his way upstairs, holding on to his slipping pants. Sure enough, he saw the chair still on the door. He took it of the handle and opened to door to see Jess lying on the bed.

"We're back," Ennis said.

"Fuck off" Jess simply replied.

"Nice to see ya too" Ennis mumbled and closed the door. He then made his way to his room were upon entering Jack grabbed him and forced him on the bed.

"Okay cowboy" Jack said in a low whisper "enough stallin'" he then slipped of Ennis's belt and took of his shirt.

"You sure ya ready?" Ennis said in his growl that Jack loved so much.

"Like I said," Jack said, "I need somethin' to take my anger out on". Jack then kissed him and after a few minutes their clothes were off and the rest of the night became one long passionate blur.


	13. Chapter 13

It had work Jess thought. Those clueless fuckers didn't even suspect a thing. Jess was just so tempted to just gloat in there faces of how there plan to ground him had so miserably failed but that would give him away. And he would probably get into bigger trouble.

He went down the stairs and poured himself some coffee.

"So when's Lois comin' to pick ya up?" asked Jack.

"Sevenish" he replied.

"Can't that girl make a specific time?" Ennis said.

"Who won?" Jess said.

"Other team" Jack said "and I appreciate it if ya didn't bring that up when Bobby comes down".

"Oh sorry" Jess said, "I don't want to upset his royal highness". Bobby soon came shuffling downstairs.

"So" Jess said "how badly did ya lose?" Jack shot Jess an ugly look and Ennis's fist clenched. Bobby sat down and shrugged.

"That bad?" Jess said "so much for all the fuss".

"Jess go do you'r work" Jack said, his jaw tight.

"Only asking" Jess said, an innocent smile crossing his face. He finished his coffee and headed out the door.

Bobby barley spoke all morning, just quietly doing his work and looking at the ground. Sheesh Jess thought get over it, its only one football game. How much of a drama queen does he have to be?

Soon, five o'clock rolled around and Jess had finally finished all his chores. He quickly ran upstairs and took a shower to get all the sweat and grit off him. He then slipped into a new pair of jeans and another band shirt (Judas Priest). He then made his way downstairs were Jack was preparing dinner.

Jess looked at the clock and it read six eleven. He had some time to kill. So he sat on the lumpy couch and scrolled threw the channels. It was all news programs but at least it beat soap operas.

Ennis and Bobby soon came down and took their seats as Jack began to serve food. Jess then heard a car beep outside. Must be Lois he figured. He turned of the TV and headed for the door.

"How long ya gonna be out?" Ennis asked.

"Late" Jess said.

"How late?" Ennis said.

"Just late" Jess said "god" he muttered.

"Better be home by ten" Ennis said. Ten? He had to be joking Jess thought.

"Whatever" Jess said. He then opened the door and headed out to Lois's beat up Vista Cruiser.

"I hope ya came with an empty stomach," Lois said as they drove down the road.

"Yep" Jess said, "Haven't eaten all day. So, what are we having?"

"Well" Lois said, "My daddy's gone all out for this one. I say to him before we left 'daddy, its only a friend who's comin' over, not the president' and he says 'well, any friend of my girl's is considered the president in my eye'. So now he's got this stuff cookin' away like soup and beef and chicken and asparagus and all sorts'a stuff I don't even know about".

After a few minutes, they pulled up to Madera's Grocers. Jess was a bit confused, what were they doing here?

"Uh" Jess began but Lois stopped him.

"Well ya see" Lois said "me and my daddy live above the store here. Lot cheaper then buyin' ourselfs. Well, come on!" she then got out of the car and Jess followed after. She took out a ring of keys in one of her pockets and opened the door.

Jess stepped into the darkened grocery store and Lois led him to the back until they came to a door marked Employees Only. Lois unlocked the door and they climbed up a small flight of stairs. At the top was another door, this one unlocked. Jess then stepped into Lois's home.

Immediately, savory smells tickled Jess nose making his mouth water. It was a nice little place. There was a TV room to the left with a worn couch and an old leather seat and to his right were two other doors. One of them was decorated with drawings and read Lois's room. The other must have been her dad.

"Daddy!" she yelled, "I'm back. I got Jess" Jess then heard a small commotion and then a tall wiry looking man came out of the kitchen.

"Hey there sweetie" the guy said. His face was plump and happy looking with a pleasant smile. Unlike Jack's that made Jess wanna hurl. And like Lois, he didn't wear the traditional cowboy wear. Instead, he was dressed like someone who…well worked at a grocery store. He had a dark green smock and black pants with a stained apron down his front. His brown hair was long and messy and he had a pair of kind green eyes.

"Oh, daddy" she grabbed Jess and pulled him forward "this is my friend, Jess. Jess, this is my daddy".

"Hey there" the guy said in a warm voice "its nice to meet ya at last. Lois here just can't stop talkin' bout ya".

"Oh daddy" Lois said "you'r gonna make me blush".

"Its nice to meet ya Mr. Madera" Jess said, shaking the mans hand.

"As am I" he said "well, dinner ain't gonna be ready until a few minutes. Why don't ya take Jess to you'r room Lois and show him 'round while I finish up".

"Okay daddy" Lois said, "come on Jess" she then grabbed Jess again and hauled him to her room.

"I'll call ya when it's done!" Mr. Madera said before Lois closed the door. Lois's room was covered in nearly hundreds of sketches each one showing a barrage of images. She had a small drawing desk in her room along with a small bed and nightstand. They too were also covered in drawings.

"Sorry bout the place" Lois said "been meanin' to clean it up a bit but other stuff came up, ya know?" Jess nodded. He brushed of a few of the drawings and took a seat on the bed. Jess looked at a few of the drawings. Some were of the landscape, buildings, and random people but there was one drawing that caught his attention.

It happened to be a sketch of him, sitting on one of the rocks were they ate lunch. Looking at the picture, Jess saw sadness etched onto the face, small shadows danced around his body, and he seemed to stare of into nowhere. It was a picture of a broken person.

"So, whaddya think of the place?" Jess snapped out of his trance.

"Hm?" he said, "oh, right. I like it, reminds me of my apartment back in New York".

"Is that a compliment?" asked Lois.

"Oh yes!" Jess exclaimed, "Yes of course".

Lois burst into another big smile "well then, that's good news!" Jess and Lois talked for a few more minutes until Mr. Madera came in.

"Well come on" he said "foods ready". Jess followed Lois into the small kitchen and took a seat at a round white table. A huge platter of food had been laid out, the smells were absolutely divine, and for a moment they reminded Jess of his mom's cooking. His plate was brimming with nearly all types and Jess didn't know were to start.

He decided with the roast beef. After one bite, he felt like he was in heaven. After almost a month of that horse shit, he felt like he was dinning at one of those fancy New York restaurants.

"So Jess" Mr. Madera said "Lois tells me you'r from New York?"

"Yes" Jess replied.

"What's it like?" he continued.

"It's the best place to be" Jess said, "the sights, the sounds, the people, everywhere you look you see a new thing".

"You know, Lois is always beggin' me to take her to some big city" Mr. Madera said.

"Ya, she's told me," Jess said.

"Oh hush there!" Lois said "I thought you were suppose to side with me. That's what friends do".

"Just havin' a bit of fun" Mr. Madera said.

"Oh" Lois said "tell him bout the time we first met!"

"Haven't you told me that before?" Mr. Madera asked.

"Ya but not from him" Lois said "go on, tell it" Jess swallowed his chunk of food.

"Well" Jess said "I had gotten into a fight with my dad and sorta stormed out of the house. I was wandering threw town when I came upon the soccer field. I was so angry at the time that I needed to let it out and there happened to be a soccer ball at the field. I kicked it and well…"

"Conked me right in the head" Lois said, "That's what happened".

"Hey!" Jess said, "You make it sound like that was a bad thing".

"Well it really hurt" Lois said.

"Sure that big head didn't cushion the blow" Mr. Madera said. Lois playfully shoved him.

"Oh hush daddy," she said.

Jess liked Mr. Madera. He was easy to talk to and he seemed like a cool guy. However, Jess couldn't help but notice how different Lois and her dad looked from one another. Lois said it was because she got most of her looks from her mom but all her attitude from her dad. Well, except the motor mouth part, which she definitely got from her mom. Or so Mr. Madera said.

"So Jess" Mr. Madera said, "you'r dad happens to be that Ennis fella?" Jess tensed up a bit.

"Ya" he said.

"Funny" Mr. Madera said, "up until when Lois met ya, I had no clue that Ennis had a kid. I hope ya don't mind me askin' but…what happened? I mean, how is it you and you'r dad ended up nearly halfway across the country?"

Jess took a long sip of water "well" Jess began "when I was three, my dad had left us…for someone else. My mom was pretty shook up about it and then she met Ted a few years later. My mom soon fell head over heels for him and they soon got married. He told her about his job and how they would have to move to New York. At first my mom resented it, she was never one for the city, but Ted convinced her otherwise. And…that's it, I lived in New York and I never spoke to my dad until when I came here".

Mr. Madera nodded his head "I'm sorry" he said, "I probably shouldn't have brought it up".

"Oh no, its fine" Jess said "really, its fine".

"You sure?" he asked.

"Of course he his daddy!" Lois said, "If Jess says he's okay, then he's okay. Okay?" after that, the conversation soon got back to a normal buzz.

By the time dinner ended, Jess was so full. He had just stuffed himself silly with all the delectable food that he felt like he might burst. It was the best dinner he had in over a month. I should have dinner hear more often Jess thought.

"Wow, Mr. Madera" Jess said "that was good, I mean really good. How did ya learn to cook like that?"

"Well, my momma taught him" Lois said, "she was a big cooker and she taught my daddy a thing or two bout the art of cooking". Maybe Jack should take a lesson from him Jess thought.

"Well, how ever you learned it, it was very good" Jess said.

"Well thank you Jess" Mr. Madera said "its nice to have someone compliment my food".

"Hey! I compliment to!" Lois said.

"Ya but its nice to hear it from a new person every once in a while" Mr. Madera said.

"So mean" Lois said.

"Only to you Lois" Mr. Madera said. The three of them laughed at this and then Mr. Madera took there empty plates to the sink.

Jess looked at the clock and saw it was nearly ten twelve. He was supposed to be home twelve minutes ago but Jess really didn't feel like going home.

"So Jess" Mr. Madera said, "when did you'r dad say you needed to be home?"

"Uh" Jess "no specific time. Why?"

"Well Jess" Lois said "me and my daddy usually watch Saturday Night Live after dinner and maybe you would like ta join us?"

"Wait" Jess said "you get NBC down here?"

"One of the perks of being the manager of a store" Mr. Madera said, "You can afford a little extra around the house".

"I would love to" Jess said. Jess couldn't remember the last time he watched Saturday Night Live, probably about two months ago? He had always wanted to go to one of the live tapings of the show but his mom forbade him for being out that late and it would be considered a miracle to even get tickets for the show.

Considering they had an hour to kill, the three people talked a bit more about each other.

Jess learned that Lois's mother died while giving birth to her. He felt instant regret upon hearing about this but Lois said it was all right and that she was comfortable talking about it. He then told them more about his life in New York and soon eleven thirty rolled around the corner. They all got into the TV room and flipped on the channel to catch the opening monologue of SNL.

They laughed at the skits and made comments about everything the cast did, even trying to catch the times they messed up on stage. For Jess, it was the cherry on top of a perfect night.

* * *

Ennis was so pissed right now. He was downstairs, pacing the floor. It was almost one o'clock, almost three hours after Jess's curfew. All he kept thinking was why? Why does that boy always have to fight him? Fight them?

Jack came downstairs, rubbing sleep from his eyes, wearing only his boxers and a white shirt.

"Ennis?" he said in a tired voice "what are you doin' up still?"

"Jess hasn't come back yet," Ennis said in an agitated voice.

"I'm not surprised," Jack said.

"Why not?" Ennis asked.

"Its not like he's listened to us before" Jack said. He grabbed one of the chairs and took a seat. Ennis kept on passing the floor, arms behind his back, jaw clenched and his head down.

"Ennis" Jack said, "Will ya stop that, you'r givin' me a headache".

Then, they heard a car pull up in the driveway. Then the door opened and Jess walked in. he shut the door and turned around to see the two men looking at him.

Jess then saw Jack was in his boxers "I hope I'm not interrupting anything" he said.

"You'r late" Ennis growled, arms crossed "you were suppose to be back at ten, its now one".

"Sorry" Jess said, "I lost track of time".

"You could have called us," Ennis continued.

"Well, I didn't okay?" Jess growled back.

Ennis began to tap his foot, his anger rising "I am getting sick of this" he said.

"So am I" Jess said. Jess and Ennis just stared at each other with hard, steely eyes.

"Why can't you just listen to me?" Ennis said "why can't you just listen to me for once instead of pullin' this shit all the time"

"Why?" Jess said, his voice rising "why? You wanna know why? Here's why, whenever I look at you it makes me sick. Not only are you some wife abandoner but your one of them! A fucking faggot! A fairy prancing, cock sucking, butt-fucking fag! And you actually tried to hide it by knocking up my mom! Did you even actually love her?! Cause it sure didn't look like it when you dropped her like some cheap whore and left for this shit hole?! That's why I don't listen to you, because to me all I see is that, a wife abandoning fag"

A deep silence fell over the house. Jack was frozen in his spot and Ennis felt as if someone had just stabbed him right in the heart. Then Jess turned and stormed of upstairs and slammed the door.

Jack got up after a few seconds "Ennis" he said softly. He came over to hug him but Ennis just pushed him away and went sulking upstairs.

"Ennis" Jack called for him, following him upstairs.

"What's all the commotion?" Bobby said, his head sticking out of his room.

"Nothin' Bobby" Jack said "go back to bed, kay?" Bobby shrugged and closed his door. Jack walked in to see Ennis lying on his side on the bed.

Jack got on the bed "Ennis" he said, trying to touch him but Ennis just shook his hand off.

"Ennis, don't be like this" Jack said, "You know he doesn't mean that-"

"He's right" Ennis muttered in an exhausted voice.

"Now Ennis" Jack said "that is not true-"

"It is Jack" he growled "don't try and deny it"

"Ennis…" Jack said but he cut him off.

"Can you just fuckin' drop it Jack?" Ennis said "quit actin' like some worried housewife".

"Now Ennis" Jack tried to begin but Ennis just buried his face into his pillow. Jack tried to hold him but Ennis kept on shaking him off.

Though Jack couldn't see it but Ennis was silently crying. He did not want Jack to see him like this, crying like some little boy. But he did and he couldn't stop it. Ennis now knew there would be no moment for him and Jess, there would be no way for him to reach out to him.

* * *

Sunday was a very tough day for everyone. Bobby heard a part of the argument that took place last night and knew things would be rocky the next morning. Jack had to drag Jess downstairs and immediately put him to work. Neither Jack or Ennis spoke to Jess, they just entrusted Bobby to supervise him.

When they were cleaning out the stales, Bobby tried to ask Jess what had happened and all he got was a none of your damn business.

This continued all the way threw dinner were hardly anyone spoke and tensions were at an all time high. Even the sound of a scraping fork seemed uncomfortable to Bobby. It must have been a pretty ugly argument he thought.

The next morning, Bobby and Jess headed of to school. Neither of them talking. They pulled up to the school and Jess immediately got out when Bobby parked the car.

Bobby knew today that practice was going to be tough. After that loss, the coach will probably, no definitely be extra hard on them today.

The morning got of to a rough start for Bobby. He found he had failed a test in his math class, bringing his grade down to almost a D-. He was then called upon to read in English class, which he wasn't at all good at. He stumbled with a lot of the words and after only one paragraph the teacher cut his misery short and called on someone else. The rest of the day just went by in one stressful blur.

As Bobby predicted, football practice was brutal for the day. the coach had them doing every exercise imaginable and sending players of to runs laps whenever they didn't do a satisfactory job. It also gave Doug and his gang the chance to play even rougher on Bobby. The hits were hard, the pushing more deliberate, and fowl play was now an option.

By the time practice was over Bobby was sore, tired, and beat. He quickly took a shower and got changed. Luckily, Macarthur and his gang didn't soak his clothes this time. He made his way outside to his car when he heard a snide voice from behind.

"Hey Twist!" Bobby turned to see Doug walking over, his buddies in tow. This ain't good Bobby thought.

* * *

Lois pulled up the school entrance just as Jess was walking out.

"hey there" Jess called.

"hey" she said "how's you'r day?"

Jess shrugged "same old stuff" Lois nodded and they began to drive to the exit.

"hold on" Lois said, slowing the car down.

"what is it?" Jess asked. Jess looked out to where she was looking to see Macarthur and his gang surrounding Bobby.

"what the hell?" Lois said. She stopped the car and got out.

"h-hey wait!" Jess called "what are you doing? Lois!" but she didn't listen and was walking over to the group of boys. Oh man Jess thought as he got out and ran after her. As he got closer, he could here what the boys were talking about.

"What Doug?" said Bobby "you'r so afraid of me you have to hire you'r goons to help back you up?"

"If it's a fight you'r lookin' for Twist" Doug said "then you got it".

"Hey Bobby" Lois said, walking next to him "everythin' okay?"

"Oh look" Doug said "the freaks have come to protect there protector, how sweet".

"Hey Madera" said that one short kid Jess saw in gym "I got somethin' that'll shut ya up" he then grabbed his crotch and the gang began to snicker.

"With what you'r carryin', you couldn't even plug up a pin prick" Lois shot back, causing the men to fall silent.

"You little wench," said the shot kid, taking a step forward.

"Come on Lois" Jess said, "Lets get outta here".

"Oh what?' Doug said, "Runnin' scared are we? But we just wanna have some fun".

"you wanna have so much fun?" Lois said, "why not go practice some more, maybe then we'll win a game". Lois had struck a cord and Doug's face screwed up in anger.

"come on Bobby" Lois said "lets go". She grabbed Bobby's arm and started to walk but then Doug came up beside her and grabbed her by her wrist.

"hey!" she said "let go!"

"it's not nice to insult a person" Doug said, squeezing her wrist tighter "and just walk off"

"hey let go fucker!" she said, trying to break free of his grip but this caused Doug to violently yank her toward him. This was not good.

"hey, come on now!" Bobby tried to walk forward but then one of Doug's lackeys hit Bobby in the stomach and two more grabbed him by his arms.

"I'll teach you not to run you'r mouth of at me" Doug said. Jess knew this was going to end badly and before he could stop himself he jumped on top of Doug's back. this caught him by surprise and he let go of Lois to try and throw Jess off him.

Bobby was able to yank free of his captures and punch them both in the face. Doug was flailing his arms around trying to get a punch on Jess but all he got was air. Then Jess used Doug's own momentum against him and he pushed forward causing Doug to go down face first. He hit the asphalt with a sickening crunch.

"come on Jess!" Lois said, yanking him of Doug "lets get outta here!" the three kids then took off for their cars. Jess and Lois got in and she started up the car. They then waited until Bobby showed up and they all drove out of the driveway.

Jess was breathing heavily. He still couldn't believe he had just done that. He'd never been in a fight before and after that he never wanted to be in one again.

"hey, are you hurt?" Jess said. He took Lois's arm and saw a purple mark was on her wrist from were Doug had gripped her.

"don't worry, its fine" Lois said, taking her arm away. Then, just like that she began to laugh "whoa" she said "holy mother fuckin' shit! We seriously almost got our asses kicked back there!"

Jess was so surprised. How could Lois be laughing after something like that?

"and nice thinkin' there" Lois said "jumpin' on Doug, just to save little ole me, how brave".

"oh well" Jess said "it was nothing".

They soon pulled up to the house, Bobby just behind them.

"well um" Jess said "that was…eventful".

"hell ya" Lois said.

"Well" Jess said "I'll see ya tomorrow. Right now I have to go shit myself". Lois laughed at this.

"You do that" she said, "see ya". Jess then got out and Lois drove off down the road. Bobby came walking over.

"You all right?" he asked.

Jess was quiet for a moment "ya, I'm fine" he said "you?"

"Just a sore stomach" said Bobby "but I'll live". The two stood there for a moment.

"Um…" Jess said, "I'm…sorry".

Bobby looked at him in surprise "for what?" he asked.

Jess took a breath "I'm sorry…for getting ya into that whole mess with Macarthur". Jess kicked at the ground a bit, and then said, "Well…better get started on our work".

Jess then began to walk to the barn. When he passed Bobby he heard him say "thanks for helpin' me out back there".

Jess stopped "it was actually Lois who stopped to help…but no problem". Then Jess continued on to the barn.


	14. Chapter 14

Jess and Bobby didn't bother telling Jack and Ennis about the scuffle that happened at school. It was like some unspoken thing that it was better left in the dark.

Jess had gotten back from school and was doing his chores. It was a cloudy and dreary Wednesday; Jess was so far in a somber mode. Things were still rocky between him and Ennis and Jack but that was okay, who needed them anyway?

As Jess cleaned the stalls, a curious thought cross his mind. He felt so stupid for not thinking about this earlier, considering he'd been here for a month but for some odd reason this little inquiry popped in his mind.

Jess was no ranch expert but if he remembered, didn't ranches usually have…well, ranch hands? Jess had been working on this farm for a month and he had never seen a single helper around the place. At first, it was no big deal for him but now it seemed plain odd that a ranch didn't have any helpers.

"Bobby" he asked.

"Ya?" he said, busy cleaning the stall next to him.

"Um" Jess was unsure how to ask "I ain't no ranch expert and all but…don't ranches usually have, I don't know, ranch hands or helpers or something?"

Bobby shrugged "I guess" he said.

"So" Jess said "why don't you guys have any?"

Bobby gave him an odd look Jess would have to. What was he saying? He had never given two thoughts to the farm besides just getting the chores done and here he was asking questions about it.

"Well" Bobby said, "Ennis don't trust them much, says they…"

"Might find out about…him and Jack?"

Bobby nodded "that's about right". Then Bobby looked at Jess "wait, why do you care?"

Ya, why do I care? Jess said "um, nothing, nothing its just…it strikes me as odd that you don't have other people helping you out around here. I mean, it would lessen the work load a lot and you might be able to get more done and all and…and…" Jess couldn't find the words to go on.

"Oh never mind" Jess said "just thinking, and all, you know, and um…don't ya have work to be doing?" Jess voice had gone steely again and before Bobby could reply Jess finished with the stall and began to walk out.

I must be crazy Jess thought why do I care what happens to this piss poor farm? If Ennis wants it like this then so be it. Why should he care?

* * *

The rest of the week past by in a slow, never-ending drawl. Jess slept most of the time in his classes; he knew the material so why go over it again? Chores seemed to take even longer then usual and dinners were just the same, with no end in sight.

It seemed like his stay in this town was like that, a never-ending drawl. Jess was not used to how slow things operated in this town. In New York, everything was always so fast paced and if you took one step back you'd be miss almost five events that happened. If you took twenty steps back in this town, nothings would change. Everything would be the same, same shops, same people, same problems, same everything! Everything was the same in this town.

What Jess so longed for was to see the diversity of New York from the hip-hop area of the Bronx, the sweeping skylines of Manhattan, the melting pots of Queens, the famous Coney Island of Brooklyn, and even the residential areas of Staten Island. Here in Shattuck, there were no skylines or diversity or Coney Island, just small buildings, cowboys, and the quiet.

Lois and Jess had just parked and were now heading up to the stadium. It was Friday night again; the second game of the season and for a week now the entire town had been waiting for some miraculous comeback from last week's failure. When Lois and Jess entered, it was the end of the first quarter and their team was leading six to three. Not what ya called spectacular but pretty close to it.

"Jess! Lois!" Jess turned to see Jack waving them over, Ennis next to him. He seemed a bit happy Jess thought considering we've barley spoken in a week.

"Come on Jess!" Lois said "'fore all the good seats are taken" Lois and him cut threw the crowd and soon came to Jack and Ennis. Lois sat down next to Jack while Jess took a seat next to her.

"I see we're actually in the lead," Lois said, taking out her drawing pad.

"Yep" Jack said, smiling "don't know what that coach there did but whatever he did, sure as hell's workin".

The second quarter was full of ups and downs for the team. For good news, they were able to score another touchdown but bad news was, so did the other team. Jack was on his feet most of the time, yelling his head of at the ref for some call he thought was unnecessary. By the time half time came around, their team was up fifteen to thirteen.

"Come on ref!" Jack yelled "try doin' you'r mother fuckin' job!" he then sat down, still in a huff.

"So, we still winnin?" Lois asked, taking her head up from her sketch.

"Ya" Jess said "barley though".

Nothing really happened in the third quarter, no touchdowns, hardly any calls, just nothing. As Jess looked over, he could make out Jack and Ennis secretly touching each other but then quickly pulling away. Can't they keep that in there own house? Jess thought bitterly.

Then the ref blew the whistle and the game was over. The team had managed a victory of seventeen to fourteen, not the greatest score but they still won.

As the four made their way out of the stadium, Jack was full of enthusiasm "bout damn time" he said.

"Its only the second game" Ennis said.

"Ya but at least that Macarthur kid didn't do anything stupid this time" Jack said "and didja see Bobby tonight? I don' know what that coach did but it defiantly paid of".

"You drivin' home with us Jess?" Ennis asked. Jess didn't want to but it seemed sensible.

So he shrugged his shoulders "I'll talk to ya tomorrow?" Jess said to Lois.

"Of course" she said in a bright smile.

Then as Jess began to walk to Ennis's car, Lois grabbed his shoulder "oh wait! Before I forget, you doin' anythin tomorrow?"

"No" Jess said "why?"

"Well" Lois said "there's this drive-threw in Kellyville, it's a small town thirty minutes north of here, there showin' a movie I wanna see. You wanna come?" that did sound good to Jess. He hadn't been to a movie in a while and he'd never been to a drive-threw before.

"Okay" Jess said, "what's the film?"

"Fast Times at Ridgemont High" she said.

Jess shrugged "high school movie huh? Okay, might as well. I'll ask Ennis and Jack. Tell ya tomorrow?" Lois nodded and then headed off for her car.

The three men then waited until Bobby came walking to them, his face in a big smile.

"Well, look who it is!" Jack said, "If it isn't the football star. You did great tonight bud!" Jack said as he put an arm around Bobby.

"He's right kid" Ennis said, "You were pretty damn good".

"Oh stop it ya two" Bobby said.

"No" Jack said, "You were excellent out there and deserve some praise". Bobby gave a small smile.

"Well, I guess" he said.

"Can we go now?" Jess harsh voice cut in.

Ennis glared at him "n'all right, come on Jack".

Jack gave Bobby one last pat "see ya at the house".

The three men got into the old pick-up truck and started down the road. Since there was no backseat, Jack had to sit in between the two front seats. Jack began to lean into Ennis, whispering something in his ear.

"Could ya not do that?" Jess barked at them.

"This is our car" Ennis growled "we c'n do whatever the hell we want in it" Jess rolled his eyes. A few moments of silence later, Jess decided to ask.

"Can I go with Lois to the drive-threw tomorrow?" he asked.

"What'cha seein?" Ennis said.

"High school movie" Jess replied.

"And if we let ya go, will you come back at the time we set?" Ennis said.

"Yes" Jess said. Jack and Ennis whispered a bit, then Jack turned to him.

"Tell ya what," he said "you do some extra chores tomorrow and we might let ya go" might? Jess wasn't gonna do that unless it was a will. But he figured that would be the closest he would get so he took it.

"Fine, whatever" he said. Guess that'll have to do he thought.

* * *

Last nights victory was still fresh in Bobby's mind. He always had this unnatural high after a win, maybe it's the shear enjoyment of a long week of practice that pays of or the natural energy you feel when win. Well whatever it was, it was definitely the reason why Bobby played the sport.

However right now, that high seemed to be slowly ebbing away. His math teacher Ms. Leans gave him extra work to make up for his pitiful test score. It was a two-page worksheet all about simplifying expressions and no matter how Bobby tried he just didn't get it.

Jack and Ennis had already gone out and instructed Bobby to not come out until it was finished. Jess came stumbling downstairs wearing his usual baggy jeans and band t-shirt (Def Leopard). He walked over and poured himself some left over coffee.

Bobby was still trying to work out problem one and he was still not getting it. Okay think he thought the square root of forty-nine is…seven, I think. And the square root of two is…one? No, that ain't right. Maybe it's two? No, that's the square root of four and what is the second equation for? Shit! Bobby was so frustrated that he was about to erase all the work he'd done when Jess appeared over his shoulder.

"You simplify two into one" Jess said, taking the pencil out of Bobby's hand "that makes it seven divided by one, which is seven" he paused for a moment.

"You then do the same to the other equation. So the square root of sixteen is…" Bobby realized Jess was talking to him.

"Um…four" Bobby said.

Jess nodded "then you find the square root of seven eighty four, which is…" Bobby couldn't figure out a number of that size, not without a calculator.

Jess sighed "twenty eight. So you divide four into twenty eight, which is…"

"Seven" Bobby said, the concept starting to make sense.

Jess nodded "you then combine the two sevens to form square root of seven" Jess wrote the answer on the line.

Jess took another sip of his coffee and put it in the sink.

"Thanks" Bobby said. Jess shrugged and headed for the door.

"Why are you being so nice?" Bobby asked. It was strange; Jess had been acting like this to him all week. No threats, snide, or barbed insults, just a simple understanding.

Jess looked at him for a moment, his eyes as hard as steel, lips thin. "I still don't like you" he said "but…I respect you. That's it".

"Why?" Bobby said, "Why do you respect me?"

Jess stared at Bobby and then said, "because of Monday, the fight, if Lois and I had never come you still would have stood up to them. You were outnumbered and knew you get your ass kicked…yet you'd still fight them. All for standing up for me. After the way I've treated you, Jack, and Ennis…that garners respect in my book"

It was the first time Bobby had ever heard Jess sound so sincere. It was in that one small moment of time that all the armor had come off and the real Jess came out.

Jess slipped into his worn brown shoes and opened the door "why don't ya respect Jack and Ennis?" Bobby asked him.

Jess body went rigid; his hand clutching the door, the armor suddenly back on. He then looked at Bobby "because I can never respect them" his voice hard "Not now…not ever" he then shut the door.

* * *

Jess was still uncertain why he had helped Bobby with his schoolwork. He wasn't sure of a lot of things that happened this week. He just kept on thinking the entire day why he was suddenly opening up to Bobby. About a week ago, he could barley stay in the same room as him. Now…now, it was different.

Maybe I'm going soft Jess thought. Whatever there reason, it had become clear that Jess and Bobby were no longer enemies. Jess wouldn't say friends, more along the lines of…acquaintances.

Jess finished with his work and walked over to Jack.

"I did my work" he said, "Can I go to the drive-threw?"

Jack nodded "ya"

Jess then shuffled into the house when the phone rang. He picked it up.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hey Jess" it was Lois.

"Oh hi" he said.

"So what did Jack and Ennis say?"

"They said yes," Jess said.

"Well that's good!" Lois said, "okay, well the movie starts at seven thirty, I'll pick ya up at six forty five?"

"Sure, sounds good"

"Okay, I'll see ya then".

"Bye" he hung up the phone just as Ennis came in.

"Who was that?" he asked.

"No one" Jess said. He then headed upstairs. Jess came down for dinner about an hour earlier. He did his usual routine of picking at his food and not speaking.

"So dad" Bobby said, "I was wonderin' if I can go out tonight".

"With whom?" Jack asked.

"Bunch of the guys" Bobby said "we never got the chance to celebrate last night, so were doing it tonight".

"Finish you'r work?" Ennis asked.

Bobby nodded "okay, you can go" Ennis said.

Bobby nodded and went back to his food.

"When's Lois comin' to pick ya up?" Jack asked.

"Six forty five" he replied.

"How longs the movie?"

"Fuck do I know" Jess growled. Ennis tensed up and a muscle twitched on Jack's cheek.

"Well be back by ten" Jack said. Jess shrugged and finished his dinner. He then went into the TV room and flicked on ABC. It was only night news but it was better then nothing. Bobby then finished up his dinner and walked to the door.

"I'll be back around eleven," he said.

"Okay, have fun" Jack said. Of course, he gets a later hour then me Jess thought bitterly. He then headed out of the door and got into his car.

Nothing really interesting was on the news. Some robbery, health tip, and breakthrough technology but that was it. By the time Lois pulled up, Ennis was watching the news with Jess on one of the chairs while Jack was finishing up dishes. Jess soon heard a car beep outside.

He got up and put on his shoes "be back by ten" Ennis said, who walked over with him.

"All right" Jess said in an agitated voice. He opened the door and hurried over to Lois.

"Hey" he said.

"Hey, you ready?"

"Ya, lets go" he then slid into the passengers seat and the two of them drove down the road.

* * *

Ennis watched as Jess got in and drove off down the road. Ennis thought it was a bad idea, Jess would probably not show up by ten and once again they would have another big argument over nothing. Ennis sighed and turned around right into Jack.

"Well well" Jack said "look at this, we have the whole house to ourselves tonight cowboy" he wrapped his arms around Ennis and kissed him lightly.

"Got any plans?" Jack said, his blue eyes sparkling.

Ennis gave him lopsided smile "not that I can think of" Ennis returned the kiss and pulled Jack closer to him. Ennis then backed Jack up to the couch were he lifted off Jack's shirt exposing his well-muscled body. It always happened like this; the two men could never keep their clothes on long enough, always coming off after just a few seconds.

They feel on the couch together, heavily kissing. Jack began to unbutton Ennis's shirt while his head was buried into Ennis's neck. Ennis's then flipped Jack over and quickly unbuckled his pants, then without hesitation pushed in.

Jack moaned beneath him. It was that moan that drove Ennis crazy and made him push harder into him and it was with Jack's kisses and encouragement that made Ennis keep going until he was finally pushed to the extreme and just gave it all over to Jack. Ennis climaxed and then felt himself go weak and dizzy from the pleasure and collapsed onto Jack.

Jack twisted his head and kissed Ennis lightly, hands locked together, warm bodies pressed together. It was exactly this thing that Ennis missed so much when they were separated after Brokeback. He would try with Alma a few times but there was never that same warmth he felt when he was with Jack.

"Feel good there cowboy?" Jack said in a whisper.

"Real good" he said.

"We got all night" Jack said, "think you can hold out?"

Ennis kissed Jack "I can if you can".

* * *

Lois and Jess began to drive the opposite way to Shattuck's main area. Once again, all Jess could see were the wide-open spaces and could still hear the deathly quiet. It was like some sorta atom bomb went off, leaving the entire world a barren and deserted wasteland. Lois babbled the entire way as they traveled across this strange landscape, almost like walking on Mars.

They soon pulled of the main road and a large sign that read Kellyville came into view. It was bigger then Shattuck but it was still a pretty small town. They drove threw the main area until they came to the drive threw.

Jess saw the movies playing and then spotted their film…that happened to be R rated.

"Lois" Jess said, "You never told me this was R rated? How are we gonna get in?"

"Oh stop ya worryin," she said. They pulled up to the ticket booth were a small, brown hair kid stood, his face covered in pimples.

"Hey there Artie" she said.

"Hey Lois" the kid said in a squeaky voice.

"Artie, this here's my friend Jess. Jess, this is my cousin Artie".

"Nice to meet ya" Artie said.

"Same" Jess replied.

"So Lois, what'cha seein' tonight?"

"Fast Times" she said.

Artie looked at her uncertainty "um, I don't know that's an R rated flick…"

"Oh come on Artie" she said "that hasn't stopped ya before from lettin' us in".

"Ya but my boss says if he catches me sneakin' ya in again I might get fired!" he said, his voice getting higher.

"Come on Artie" she said "just one last time, for me?" Lois eyes went big and she began to bat her eyes.

Artie looked at her, his eyes twitching "oh fine" he said "fine, but ya owe me for this" he then rang them in.

"Thanks Artie" she said, "love ya". Lois then drove into the drive-threw. It was just like Jess imagined it to be, a bunch of cars all lined up with one huge screen overlooking them. They found a nice parking place in the middle of the rows of cars.

"I'm gonna go get some popcorn 'fore the movie starts, want anythin?"

"No, not really" Jess said "just some popcorn…and see if they have some Dr Pepper" Jess loved Dr Pepper, he could barley remember the last time he had a drink of the delicious soda. Lois returned with a large tub of popcorn and a bottle of Dr Pepper that Jess drank in a few famished gulps.

Jess actually enjoyed the movie. It was sorta like a day at Bergtraum high…well if they had some dopey surfer guy and kids who got high off the ink. But there was one scene that Jess and probably every other guy in the theater liked as well.

It was the dream sequence when Phoebe Cates steps out of the pool, body dripping in water, and begins to walk toward Brad. Then from outta nowhere she releases the twins. Jess heard a whole bunch of guys yell out.

"Uh, you need to be alone for a bit?" Lois said. Jess then saw he had raised the flag, right in front of Lois.

Jess was mortified; he quickly covered it up with one of Lois's drawings. She was now laughing hysterically "ah, men" she said "all the same, when one nude scene comes on you just have to sound off the mornin' glory" soon Jess was laughing and he forgot entirely about the event.

The movie ended at nine five. Lois threw away the garbage as they drove out and then said "bye Artie! See ya soon!"

"Bye Lois!" he called back. They then pulled out of Kellyville and once again began their trek across the deserted wasteland back to Shattuck.

* * *

Ennis thrust in once, twice, three more times until Jack finally gave in. Jack shuddered and fell onto the couch, Ennis holding him from behind kissed his neck.

Jack sighed, "What time is it?"

"Dunno" Ennis said "probably about nine".

Jack kissed his hand "still got an hour then" he muttered. Ennis pulled out and flipped Jack on his back.

"Again?" he said in a murmur. Jack nodded. Swear Ennis thought he's got some kinda problem but then again, I want it to. So I guess we both have a problem.

So Ennis dove into Jack's mouth, his body pressed against his. Then, another strong urge passed threw Ennis, one he hardly ever got. He grabbed one of Jack's hands and slowly brought it down to his ass.

Jack stopped for a moment, confused "you sure?" he said. Ennis only nodded. He was about to turn when Jack stopped him.

"Wait" he said "I wanna watch ya. Not everyday you wanna do this" it was the truth. Of the nearly thirteen years since they've been here, Ennis had only done this maybe three times before. The first was almost seven years ago, when Ennis just asked him out of the blue. It was rough and kinda awkward, more painful then pleasurable. Like that first night on Brokeback.

The second time was five years ago and this time it went more smoothly but it was still a bit awkward. The third time however was when they finally got it right. In Ennis's opinion, it was the best fuck he'd ever had in his life. He still remembered the potency of it and how his body felt it might tear apart from the shear pleasure of it all. When it reached its climax, a stunning clarity crossed Ennis and for a few seconds he felt weightless and the whole world had evaporated around him with only he and Jack together, the only people on the world.

The reason Ennis hardly ever did this was because of the sheer weakness. To be able to hand yourself over to someone and feel utterly powerless was something Ennis just couldn't do. But every once in a while, he would work up the courage to actually go threw with it.

Ennis felt the familiar sensation as Jack pushed in, the same feeling escaping into his mouth as if gasping for air. He wondered if this is what Jack went threw every time he did it to him or maybe he was just used to it.

The first few minutes are always awkward and it took Ennis time until he found a rhythm. When he did, all he could do was urge Jack on. He flat Jack's muscles flex beneath him and the same feeling as before began to rock his body. He kept on urging Jack on with deep kisses and short labored breaths. He could feel it, the same feeling beginning to tear him apart.

Ennis was moaning and this kept Jack going faster, harder, and it began to feel like they were the only two people on this planet.

However, they weren't and unlike their private world, the real world didn't work out that way. They were so deep into it everything was oblivious to them.

Even the doorknob that was being turned.

* * *

It was nine thirty nine when Jess and Lois pulled up to the house. Wow, first time I actually make curfew Jess thought I am going soft he thought.

"Well that was…eventful" Lois said, her voice hiding a snicker. Jess knew she must be referring to the…incident at the drive-threw.

"Go ahead, laugh all you want" Jess said "I can't help it if parts of my body go off without my knowledge".

Lois shrugged "whatever" she said, "hey, mind if I come in?"

Jess looked at her, puzzled "why?"

"I ain't never been in you'r room before and I'd like ta see it," she said.

"My room's kinda boring" Jess said.

"I like borin" she replied "sides, got nothin' better to do".

Jess smiled "all right, come on" the two got out of the car and made their way to the house.

"Bobby home? I don't see his car" Lois said as they climbed the steps.

"He's out" Jess said, grabbing the doorknob and turning it "with some friends I think" Jess opened the door "its only Jack and Enn-".

Jess suddenly stopped in his tracks, his whole body feeling like he'd been shot with tranquilizer. There, on the couch, was Jack and Ennis…both naked and fucking hard.

It was like a bomb had gone of and the white fire came right at Jess, engulfing him and searing deep into his bones.

"Hey, whydah stop?" she said "are you oh-" Lois then saw Jack and Ennis, both men now fully aware of the two. Jack had this extremely shocked face on and Ennis looked absolutely mortified.

"Oh my god!" Lois said in a surprise and horrified voice like she just witnessed an absolutely stunning event "oh my god, oh god" she headed out the door.

"Jess!" Ennis began but he quickly closed the door. He breathed for first time, coming in long, horrified breaths. Lois was on the rail, shaking her head.

I can't believe them! Jess thought I actually sat on the couch! Lois he thought. Oh no, Lois! What would she think? Would she think he was like them? Some butt-munching faggot? And would she tell her dad? Would she tell the whole town? My life is over he thought.

Then Lois did something he never expected. She began to laugh, it was small at first but then it became louder until it seemed like she heard the most hilarious joke on the face of the earth.

"Oh" she said composing herself "don't cha just hate that? Walkin' in on you'r folks doin' the dirty deed? God knows, I thought I'd never go threw it with my momma bein' dead an' all but…I guess it can happen at a friends house to".

She laughed again "so, I guess that whole tour of you'r room ain't gonna happen?" Jess just looked at her with a dumb founded expression.

"Well, guess I should get goin" she said, heading to her car.

"Wait Lois!" Jess said, "Look, I can explain, its-"

She held up her hand "no Jess, its all right" she propped against her open car door "look" she began "I kinda suspected somethin' was goin' on between the two of them just never got the proof to prove otherwise. I mean, a guy who can't go livin' without a mate…biggest load of shit I'd ever heard. Everyone's gotta have some one".

There was a short pause "don't worry Jess" Lois said, "I won't tell no one. I may run of the mouth a lot but I know when to keep it shut. You'r secrets safe with me".

Jess could only look at her. She then smiled "well, see ya tomorrow". She then got into her car and drove off down the road. Jess could only stare as the beat up Vista Cruiser disappeared down the road.

Good old Lois he thought.


	15. Chapter 15

Jess heard the door open from behind him. He turned to see both Jack and Ennis walking out. Luckily they were dressed, badly however, but still dressed.

"I thought ya said you be home by ten?" Jack said.

"Movie was short" Jess replied, "You could have done that you'r room. What the hell were you thinking? I have to sit on that on couch! Oh god, have you guys done it on there before?"

"Look, that's besides the point" Ennis said, "where'd Lois go?"

"She left" Jess said, his voice now hard.

"Left?" Ennis voice seemed a bit anxious.

"She isn't gonna tell" Jess said.

"How do you know?" Ennis asked, "That girl can't keep her mouth shut for less then a minute".

"She said she wasn't gonna tell okay?" Jess said "besides, why are you trying to round this off as my fault? If you two hadn't been doing…doing…that right in the open this wouldn't have happened!"

"Don't be yellin' like it's his fault" Jack said, "I'm the one who started it".

"I thought the bottom's were the submissive type" Jess shot back "not the other way around".

"Now Jess, ain't no need for that" Jack said.

"You'r right" Jess said, "There ain't no need for that. How's this? Keep your dick in your pants and out of my dad, then we won't have to repeat this" Jess gave them a look of absolute disgust.

"I'm going to bed," he said before Jack or Ennis could reply. He opened the door and slammed it in their faces.

* * *

Ennis was propped on his bed, his fingers drumming on the bed. He had been like this for a few hours, events of tonight still reeling in his mind. Lois saw was all he could think she saw and now she's gonna tell. Ennis knew he shouldn't be judging her, she was a decent kid but he didn't trust her with that mouth of hers.

Jack shuffled next to him. "Ennis?" he asked in a sleepy voice "you still up? go to bed".

"I can't" Ennis said.

Jack rolled over and propped himself on his shoulder "what's wrong cowboy?"

"You know well enough" Ennis said.

"You mean bout the…" Ennis nodded. "Ennis" Jack continued, "I know you have a right to be worried but, Lois's a good kid. She won't tell".

Ennis didn't respond. As much as he wanted to believe Jack, he couldn't. He wanted to believe that she wouldn't tell no one, he wanted to believe that if she told people wouldn't react so bad, he wanted to believe that they wouldn't come with tire irons in hand…

"Besides" Jack continued "would it really be so bad?"

Ennis looked at him in shock "are you outta you'r fuckin' mind Jack Twist?"

"No, I ain't" he replied "its jus', I know that you always thinkin' if were caught people will be comin' at us with pitchforks and torches. But, it ain't 1963 anymore Ennis. Its 1982, lots of stuff has changed since then".

"A lot" Ennis "but come on Jack, they still don't view…well our type of livin' as acceptable".

"Yes there are Ennis" Jack said, getting up a bit.

"Jack" Ennis said, "I know in you'r mind that ya think if we tell, everyone will be like no big deal and simply leave us alone. That ain't the case Jack. You know very well how people will react and I ain't gonna be for the good".

"What bout for us?" Jack said, "for once, I could just wish that all these emotions we had for each other didn't stay locked up in this bed, in this room, in this house. Sometimes I wish I can actually kiss you out in public and hold ya and do all sortsa stuff that regular folks do".

"Jack, you do that and they'll be all over ya".

"Why do ya have to be so paranoid?"

"I ain't paranoid, it's the truth"

"No it ain't! How many times do I have ta tell ya? Not everyone's like that".

"Name one who is?" Jack thought for a moment.

"Well" Jack said, "name one person who would hate us?"

"Jess" Ennis said in a flat voice.

"Well, he's hate us even 'fore he found out".

Ennis just sat there, staring off into space. "Can't ya just let all that fear go?" Jack said in a whisper.

Ennis turned to him; he gently ran a hand down Jack's cheek. He then brought his face up to his and kissed him.

"Sorry Tex" Ennis said, "I just can't". Jack looked at him, a slight hint of anger in his eyes. He pulled away from Ennis and laid down again. Ennis wrapped an arm around Jack but he was rigid beneath him.

"Come on Jack, don't be like this" Ennis muttered, kissing him on the neck.

"Why Ennis?" Jack said, "Why shouldn't I be like this? I have a reason ta be sad when someone I love says there embarrassed of me".

"I never said that".

"It sure sounded it ya did".

"I ain't ashamed of ya Jack, I just-".

"Wanna protect me?" Jack turned over and faced Ennis "I ain't some helpless child Ennis, I can take care o' myself".

"Not against a whole group".

"And what are the odds of that happenin? You always think I'm gonna end up like that old guy with his dick torn clean off".

"Is that bad then? Tryin' ta protect ya?"

"No, I want ya to protect me but not like this! I don't wanna have to go out with ya tailin' me everywhere I go".

"So ya wanna get you'r self killed?"

"I ain't gonna git myself killed! God Ennis, why can't ya just let up? Why do ya have to keep me on such a short fuckin' leash!"

"I don't keep ya on no leash".

"You sure as hell is actin' like ya do".

"Well, maybe if ya-"

"What Ennis? What? Be like you? Always lookin' over his shoulder when someone gives me a funny look, always tryin' to hide things that will give us away, always hidin' my emotions behind a wall, always actin' like a cold hearted sonofabitch!"

Ennis grabbed Jack by the shirt and hauled him right to his face "is that what ya think o' me? Some heartless controlin' bastard? All I wanted was to protect you! Bobby! This life of ours! If we'd done it you'r way, none of this would have happened".

Jack pushed Ennis off him "we still wouda have'd this life if everyone know, you'r just so fuckin short sighted you believe that a one year old would be out for us! Why not try and stop livin' in the past!"

"So what is it then Jack?" Ennis said, now right in Jack's face "what is it ya want be to do? Go tell the entire fuckin' world we're gay? Tell 'em we love each other? And fuck each other? Is that it!"

"No Ennis, all I want is for ya to love me!"

"Fine!" Ennis then pounced on Jack. The two wrestled with each other until Ennis got the upper hand and pinned Jack down. He then flipped him over, his hands grabbing Jack's boxers. He violently tore them off and pushed in, Jack giving a gasp of surprise. Ennis wrapped an arm around Jack's neck and began to shove hard, while he began to devour Jack's neck.

Jack somehow managed to push Ennis off him and clamor over him. He then grabbed Ennis's legs, hauled them onto his shoulders and pushed in. Ennis struggled beneath him until he grabbed Jack's head and yanked his hair towards him, giving a violent kiss.

The night wore on like this, each man practically fighting one another for supremacy. There came a point when Ennis was violently grinding into Jack, that he managed to roll both them off the bed and hit the floor. The breath was knocked out of Ennis, giving Jack the opportunity to get him off and gain control. He shoved Ennis into the floor as he drove in, one hand on his head while the other on Ennis's arm. Ennis managed to break Jack's hold and pushing up slammed Jack into the floor.

Ennis quickly turned over and once again had the upper hand. He pushed into Jack one more time and began to go at him, each thrust going deeper and faster as if he was proving to Jack just how badly he needed him. that or how much he actually loved him. Ennis kept going until he felt himself climax and then with three more violent thrust, collapsed onto Jack.

Both men were panting hard, sweating badly, scratch marks and bruises all over themselves, each one feeling like they'd just been in a battle. Ennis sucked in huge breaths of air trying to regain some strength. When he felt better, he pulled out of Jack, slowly got to his feat and crawled into bed.

Jack soon came up and laid next to Ennis, both men's backs to one another. They didn't speak or look at each other, both still angry at one another. Ennis laid there until finally sleep came to him.

* * *

Jess was idly biting at his sandwich. It had been unusually quiet between him and Lois today. At first, Jess believed she may have blabbed but walking into school, no one gave him any funny looks or whispering, just the same schedule as usual.

Bobby was told of the incident on Sunday morning. At first, he could barley believe it but when I said Lois would keep quiet he seemed to relax a bit but like Jack and Ennis they still believed that she might tell all. Bobby didn't speak on the car ride over, still thinking of what this day would be like but once they parked and no one pointed them out, Bobby relaxed.

Lois was still drawing in her pad "Lois" Jess said "is something bothering you?"

She looked up and smiled "no, nothin'. Its just…well, I might feel outta line for askin' this".

"What?" Jess asked, "Tell me".

Lois shifted a bit "when did ya find out that Ennis was a…"

"Queer?" Jess finished for her.

Lois nodded "ya, that".

"First day I got here" Jess said "I saw Jack kiss Ennis on the cheek during dinner. Up till then, I didn't know. Always figured it was a woman".

Lois nodded. "Why?" Jess asked.

She shrugged "no reason, just curious".

She paused for a moment "how did they meet?"

Jess was about to answer when he stopped. Jess really didn't know how they met, it wasn't like he wanted to know why hid dad suddenly became a dick lover and left his mom.

"I actually don't know" Jess said.

"Ain't ya ever been curious?"

"No" Jess said in a cross voice, "Why should I be? I don't wanna hear the story how my dad met the man who would suddenly take him away from me and my mom".

"Not even a bit?"

"No" Jess said, that familiar fighting voice coming into his throat.

Lois looked at him, a serious look on her face "why do ya hate 'em so much?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" he shot back.

"I mean, I told ya before, I understand if maybe there'd be some bad blood between ya'll but…it almost seems like you'r smitin' them, blamin' them for all you'r problems".

"It is all their fault!" Jess said, not meaning to yell "if he hadn't have left us none of this would have happened, if he hadn't left us my mom would still be alive, if he hadn't left us I wouldn't have been sent to this shit hole!"

Lois didn't get defensive, she just stared at Jess with serious eyes "none of that is his fault. He may have left ya but ask yourself this…was he happy?"

Jess looked at her "how?"

"I mean with you'r mom? Was he ever happy".

Jess really didn't know but he could tell his mom had loved him and he simply shattered her when he left. So whether he was happy or not, he still hurt her.

"can't ya just accept him for who he is?"

Jess looked at her with a shocked expression "you'r kidding? I cant except him, not after what he did. And, you think I should be happy he's with a man? That's just sick! He and him are nothing more but abominations of nature!"

"And where did ya get that? The bible" Lois said, a hard tone in her voice "first off, the bible is nothin' more but the ramblin's of a bunch of crazy old men who lived over two thousand years ago when woman were treated like animals and when a simple flood was believed to be a divine intervention. And after all that time, no one has even bothered to update that outdated book. They just follow it like its life and death, smitin' all those who don't follow".

"But its true" Jess said.

Lois frowned "and then what? You'r gonna start hatin' blacks? Indians? Chinamen?"

"That ain't the same"

"Yes it is!" Lois's voice got higher "if you hate someone because of there race, gender, or even sexual orientation, you are technically considered a discriminator"

Jess wanted to make a sharp comment but then he realized she was right. If he tried to deny it all that would make him seem ignorant. Though he hated to admit it but Lois was right.

"Its not that I hate gay people" Jess said "I just hate them".

"Whether or not you got nothin' against them, you start hatin' even one person who's a queer, then you hate 'em all".

Again Jess wanted to argue but once again, he couldn't come up with a single thing. They sat there, silent for a few minutes not daring to try and look or speak to one another.

Then Lois cleared her voice "tell me somethin"

Jess looked at her "did you believe I would tell people…bout Jack and Ennis?" Jess wanted to say no but then he'd only be lying to her. And for some reason, he didn't wanna lie to her.

"Ya" he said "I did".

Lois looked at him "its all right. I can figure why, seein's how I talk to much you figure information will just pour outta me" she stopped again "you know, when I found out everythin' made sense to me".

Jess looked at her "what do you mean?"

"Well Jess," she said, crossing her legs "you may be the nice and carin' Jess when you talk to me. But around them, you become someone else. At the dinner, I could tell how much ya hated them and findin' out bout Jack and Ennis bein' queers and all sorta made sense why. You know, along with the whole abandonment issue and all".

Jess nodded again and she fell silent again.

"You wanna know somethin?" she said.

"What?"

"You'r the first real friend I'd ever had".

Jess chuckled a bit "that ain't true".

"No, it is" Lois said "see, ever since I was little I've always been the outsider at school. Maybe its cause the way my whole drawing frenzy and the way I dress. I mean how many girls ya see here walkin' around in Daisy Dukes and white tees?" Jess laughed at this.

Lois smiled "ever since I was six, I'd always pray to god to one day give myself a friend. A good friend, one who'd understand me and all. Every year, I would wait to see if he answered my prayers but every year he didn't, so I just kept tryin'. And finally, after a ten-year delay, he finally got around to me. Though, I didn't except my answers to come in the form of a soccer ball right to the head".

"Again, sorry bout that" Jess said.

"No don't be" Lois said "if not for you'r little kick, we'd never had met…and I still be alone". She paused and looked at me "that day on the field and meetin' you…was the best day of my life".

Jess felt a booming happiness in him, a kind he'd hadn't experience since being in Shattuck. "Well you know what Lois?" Jess said "kicking that soccer ball at you was the best decision I made since being here".

Both he and Lois laughed at this. The bell rang from inside the school.

"Oh, times up" Lois said "best be getting' to drawin' class".

"Ya, god knows we can't be late to that". Lois playfully shoved him and the two made there way down the hill and slipped back into the school.

* * *

**Authors note: come on everyone, I need you to review! I'm writing on blind faith here, not knowing if I'm doing any good and all. I don't care if it's a simple 'its good' or 'could be better' or even just a single letter! Just review! Please! That's all I'm asking.**


	16. Chapter 16

Authors note: finally, some reviews. Thank you guys, at least I know I'm not running blind here. Keep reviewing please and thank you.

* * *

The week passed by like any other. Ever since the fight, Doug has since seemed to treat Jess like an invisible but deep down Jess knew he was thinking horrid thoughts about him. The football team was able to keep up there winning streak but just barley. Lucky for them, Bobby had a good arm and even luckier that someone could catch a ball.

Bobby gave Jess another driving lesson and to his mild surprise, Jess actually didn't mess up so often. Maybe a lurch or two there but that was pretty much it. In exchange for driving lessons, Jess even helped Bobby with his homework some of the time. However, Jess was still far away from being able to call Bobby a friend.

Jess also noticed slight friction between Jack and Ennis. Whenever they snapped at him for making some sorta snide comment, it was always one or the other doing the scolding while the other just sat there. Jess was pretty sure this had to deal with the incident that happened the past Saturday and that argument that happened at three in the morning, which Jess realized with a sickening thought, turned into…well something else. Now the two men barley spoke to each other and when they did it was always quick and tense.

Jess woke up on a dreary Sunday morning. He slipped on another bands t-shirt (U2) and some extremely faded jeans. Walking into the kitchen, he sensed the tension between Jack and Ennis. Something still amidst in queersville he thought. He poured some leftover coffee when the front door opened and Bobby came in.

"Here dad" he said, handing Jack a letter "from that big rancher fella up north" he must have gone to the post office Jess wondered.

Jack opened the letter, skimmed it a bit, and then took a seat.

"What it say?" Ennis said.

"Seems the guy wants to met with us, make arrangements for the ranch" Jack said.

Bobby smiled "that's good dad".

"Hey, don't get all happy on me" Jack said, "We still need to discuss the fine lines".

"When does he wanna meet with us?" Ennis asked.

"Says here he wants to meet over the Labor Day weekend, up in Wyoming".

"Ain't that this week?" Ennis asked.

Jack nodded. Ennis returned to picking at his eggs. "This is actually pretty good timin" Jack said.

"Why dad?" asked Bobby.

"Well, seems Lureen wants to take ya over the weekend". Lureen Jess thought why did that name sound so familiar?

Then he remembered his first day here. That fancy car and the woman with the platinum blond hair and to much make-up. He remembered Ennis saying how she takes Bobby during some breaks.

Bobby suddenly seamed to deflate "oh" he said, non enthusiastic "why? She's been busy for the past four".

"Dunno" Jack said "jus' called last night and said she was free for the weekend and wants ya to come over".

Bobby shrugged. Jess probably figured that Bobby's mom wasn't exactly his most favorite person in the world.

"Oh and Jess" Jack said "you'r goin' to" Jess nearly coughed out his coffee. Did I just hear him right? He thought.

"Your joking right?" he said.

"No, I ain't" Jack said "I don't trust ya for one second to leave ya alone in this house, let alone a whole weekend".

Jess put his coffee down "I am not going to some strangers house for a whole weekend".

"She ain't a stranger" Jack replied.

"Is to me," Jess said.

"You'r goin" Ennis growled.

Jess shot a look "oh what, now you two have stopped fighting?"

"You'r goin' and that's the end of it" Jack said. Jess finished his coffee and stalked over to the sink, muttering under his breath "this is bull shit".

"What have I said bout that kinda language?" Jack said.

"Oh go suck a dick" Jess shot back. Jack angrily got out of his chair and grabbed Jess by the shoulder, hard.

"Ow!" he said as Jack dragged him out "mother fucker!" he yelled but all this gave him was another violent shove out the door, Jack's hand still a vice grip.

"God damn fag!" Jess yelled. Jack hauled him forward and slammed him into the barn walls, an arm across Jess's throat.

"What have I said bout usin' that word?" he hissed "anymore of that and I'll knock the livin' shit outta ya" Jess glared at him.

"Get to work" Jack took his arm off his throat and shoved him forward. He just angrily stalked into the barn, before muttering, "faggot".

* * *

"So now, I have to spend Labor Day weekend with Bobby's mom" Jess finished telling Lois as he took a large bite of his sandwich.

"What's Bobby's mom like?" she asked.

"I dunno. Only saw her once when she was pulling out of the driveway. Only thing I know is her names Lureen".

Lois nodded "well, look on the bright side, at least ya gettin' out of the town for a few days. Where are ya goin' anyway?"

"She lives in some town called Childress, up in the northern part of Texas".

"Any large cities nearby?"

"Not that I know off"

Lois shrugged again "maybe this might be good for ya. At least you'll learn more bout Bobby's family, other then Jack I mean".

Jess grumbled something "oh come, don't tell me you got some grudge against Bobby's mom now".

"I don't" said Jess "its just…I'll feel like a total stranger there, I mean more then usual".

"Ya, I guess it will seem off that the son of Lureen's ex husbands lover is gonna come and stay with them. Wait, did that make sense?"

"It did" Jess replied.

"When are ya leavin?" Lois asked.

"First thing Saturday morning. Won't get back until…I dunno ten at night maybe?"

Lois nodded "hey, trust me, its gonna be fine. Really".

The bell soon rang and the two made there way off to drawing. The rest of the day was just a blur and before Jess knew it he was in Lois's car driving back home.

"You doing anything over Labor Day weekend?" he asked.

"No, not really" Lois said "daddy and me just gonna hang out and all, watch a few movies, you know stuff like that".

"Sounds fun" Jess said.

They pulled up to the house "see ya tomorrow" Jess said.

"Okay" Lois then pulled off down the road.

* * *

Before Bobby realized, Friday rolled around. He had very mixed feelings for today; on the one hand he couldn't wait till the game tonight. But on the other hand, tomorrow he would soon be on a plane heading to Childress.

It wasn't like Bobby hated his mom; it was the way she treated him that he hated. Lureen Newsome was what you call a businesswoman, all work, all the time. Every time she talked to him, it was always in a straightforward manner devoid of any emotions, almost like he was a client rather her own son. When Bobby visited, he asked his mom if she hated him for what his dad did.

She simply looked at him, her face and eyes showing nothing and replied in a business like voice, "I don't hate ya Bobby, you'r my son. I have long ago made peace with what you'r father did. Do I still harbor some ill feelin's? Of course but that doesn't mean I hate ya Bobby, you'r my son and that's that. Now, don't ya have work to be doin?"

As simple as that, no tears, no explanations, no anger, nothing. It was like she read it off a cue card. And her voice, it was so even. She treated the whole thing like it was just another question. And it wasn't with this conversation; it was with every single talk that came outta her mouth when it came to him. Same emotionless face, same emotionless voice, same businesswoman manner.

Jack told Bobby to not let it get to him. Lureen was just like that. He did say that back when her first met her, she was a real spitfire. But over time, that fire slowly got smaller until it puffed out completely, even before Jack told Lureen about Ennis.

Bobby asked Jack once about how he told Lureen. At first, he was a bit hesitant as Bobby was only ten at the time, but after a few minutes of begging he finally told him.

* * *

It was 1969 and Jack had just gotten back from one of his trips with Ennis, happier then he ever felt. After nearly two years of begging, Ennis had finally agreed to start a life with Jack. He was over the moon with joy, nearly feinting when Ennis told him. Jack really didn't believe Ennis would actually agree, being Ennis and all but he did. He did.

Jack pulled up to the house when he saw the lights were still on. Oh how am I gonna tell Lureen? He thought. As much as he was happy, he also spent the drive coming back from Brokeback to think about how he'd tell her but he just kept coming up with blanks. When he saw the lights were still on, he sensed something was up.

He walked into the house to see Lureen. She was in her nightgown, light brown hair lank against her shoulders, and arms crossed.

"Jack" she said.

"Lureen" he said, closing the door.

She shifted "how was the trip?" her voice was even, an unsettling sign for Jack.

"Fine" he replied, shuffling his feet a bit.

"Did ya catch anythin' this time?"

"Well, no".

"Of course" she said "you never bring any back".

She kept staring at Jack with emotionless eyes, making him feel so uncomfortable. He hated when she gave him that expression, he always felt so small and powerless.

"Look Lureen, we need to talk".

"Yes we do Jack" her voice still even, still emotionless.

"Um, you know I care bout ya and all…"

"But?" she said.

Jack shifted again "well, you know Ennis?"

"Who?"

Jack shifted again "you know, the guy I go fishin' with".

"What bout him"

Jack felt himself bunch up. It was getting really difficult to talk now, the adhesion of telling her and that intimidating look she gave him making it harder.

"Well, um, remember when I told ya how he was a friend o' mine?"

"What else would he be"

Jack felt his throat tighten "um, well, uh, he's…well uh…"

"Come on Jack, it's a simple question" she said in that voice.

"He's…well more then a friend". There, he just said it and to his mild surprise he didn't feel any regret. Lureen just looked at him, her eyes getting hard and her mouth thinning.

"And what exactly is he?" her voice was still emotionless but Jack could almost sense a hint of anger. Now what? What was he gonna say now? I'm cheating on you with a man and wanna leave ya?

"I'm…in love with him" he felt both a little surge of pride when he said that. Like a huge weight had been lifted off him.

Lureen drummed her fingers on her arm, her mouth twitching a bit. She kept looking at him, her eyes not wavering for a bit.

"And what exactly does that mean?" it was the same voice but Jack was pretty sure some anger was now in it.

"It means…I'm in love with him".

Lureen swallowed "so what, you'r suddenly queer?". Jack fumbled with his shirt a bit, not really sure how to respond. So he said a simple "yes".

She kept looking at him with that same expression, almost like the revelation didn't mean anything to her.

"How long…has this been goin' on?"

Jack coughed a little "bout seven years…but it only just started again bout two years ago".

A muscle twitched by Lureen's mouth "you've been like this even before we were married?"

"Ya" was his simple reply. There was a long silence between them; Jack had his head down while Lureen kept looking at him. She finally stood up after what seemed an eternity.

"I want ya outta the house Jack" Lureen said "right now".

Jack nodded "all right. I'll go get my stuff". He headed up to their room, their plain, orderly room. He grabbed a suitcase and quickly piled in a few shirts and jeans. He then snapped the locks and walked out down the stairs. Lureen was there, her arms still crossed and that same face still on.

"We'll discuss this more tomorrow," she said.

"Okay" Jack went to the door and paused "Lureen I'm-"

"Jack" Lureen cut him off "just go".

Jack nodded and then walked out of the house.

* * *

The team managed another win for the third week in a row. Bobby was overjoyed that the team won but then his moral dropped when he realized that he realized were he'd be going tomorrow. With Jess none the less.

He knew his mom would probably be all over him about his grades and knowing L.D. he'll have a few snide remarks about his father.

Jack and Ennis were waiting near the truck while Jess was lying down on the hood.

"Another fine display, if I say so myself" Jack said clapping Bobby on the back.

"You were great" Ennis joined in.

"Thanks guys" Bobby said.

"Are you guys done?" Jess shot in.

Ennis and Jack gave a frown. "See ya at the house" Jack said. He and Ennis then walked to the car as Jess slid off the hood. Bobby saw them get in the car but noticed how Jack and Ennis got on opposite sides of the car with Jess between them. He figured they were still having some problems, over what he didn't know. But he figured it might still be about Lois finding out. However he still didn't know how. She hasn't told anyone, so why fight?

Bobby pulled up to the house. Walking in, he saw Jess was watching some show on the TV.

"You know, you should probably get to bed" Bobby said "we're leavin' early in the mornin"

"I'm not tired" Jess replied. Bobby simply said good night to him, he wasn't in the mood to pick a fight with him.

He got to his room and stripped down to his boxers. Then he slid into bed, his body sore from football. After a few minutes he was asleep.

A pair of hands soon waked him "come on Bobby" Jack said, "time ta go". He grumbled something and after a few seconds he willed himself out off bed. He slipped into some new clothes and grabbed his suitcase.

Downstairs, Ennis and Jack were sitting down on opposite sides of the table and Jess was pouring some coffee. Bobby fixed himself some cereal and slowly munched away at the stale flakes.

Jess simply leaned on the counter, drinking his coffee. After a few moments of silence Jack finally said, "ya'll ready?" Bobby nodded. He took his bowl to the sink while Jess drained the last remains of his drink.

It was decided they'd take only one car. It would be cramped but it seemed the most sensible. Bobby and Jess put their luggage in the back while Jack strapped them down so they wouldn't go flying.

Ennis decided to drive while Bobby sat in the middle and Jack in the passengers seat with Jess on top of him.

When Jess found out about this, he started to fight "no way, I ain't sittin' with him".

Ennis looked at him "why the hell not?"

"You expect me to sit on the lap of some queer?"

"Its either that or we put ya with the luggage" Ennis shot back.

"Why can't I sit in the middle?" he shot back.

"Because Bobby's to heavy," Ennis said.

"So? He's got another leg"

"Jess" Ennis growled back "not another word" he simply gave him his ugly look and hopped into the car.

Bobby heard him grumble stuff under his breath for the two hours it took to get to the airport. They got themselves checked in, scanned, and finally arrived at the boarding gate.

"I'm going on," Jess said without waiting for there reply.

"God damn that kid" Ennis muttered.

"Now, you be good for ya mom okay?" Jack said.

"I will be dad"

"And don't let that old bastard L.D. hassle ya now" he continued.

"Don't worry dad," Bobby said, "I will".

"Okay, we'll see ya two Monday" he then gave Bobby a hug.

"See ya soon kid" Ennis said as Jack pulled away.

"See ya Ennis" Bobby said "good luck with the ranch guy".

"Thanks" Ennis said.

"Now go, before ya miss you'r plane," Jack said. Bobby nodded, picked up his suitcase and headed to the gate. He turned once more and waved goodbye to the men before the lady checked him in.

He soon found the row he was in, Jess already seated in the chair next to him, idly looking out of the window. After a few minutes, the plane pulled out of the gate and began its accent.

Bobby always hated flying, especially the taking off part. His stomach always did this weird flip-flop motion and he felt he might have to hurl. He was also terrified of heights and extremely paranoid that the plane would take a nosedive whenever they hit turbulence.

As the plane began to take off, he felt that same queasy feeling as the plane left the ground and they steadily began to climb higher. Jess simply stared out the window, unfazed by any of it.

Jess looked at Bobby "oh get over it, its only flying".

Bobby wanted to make a sharp comment but held it back when he nearly coughed up his own breakfast. Good thing it's only an hour flight he thought.


	17. Chapter 17

Authors note: hey ya'll, again thanks for the reviews. Muchos gracias. To answer a few questions, this chapter will show Jess in a different light. You know, besides being well…you get the idea.

* * *

Jess simply stared out the window the entire time on the plane, the ground below looking like a patchwork of green and brown. Even from up high, he could see only wide-open spaces. How much of a wasteland can this state be? He thought.

The plane soon made is decent into the airport, Bobby's face going pale as they landed. Its only flying Jess thought.

When the plane came to a stop, the two walked out into the airport and made there way to baggage claim. Once their bags were found, they walked out the front doors to the drop off area. Bobby looked around a bit when he spotted something and began to walk over. Jess followed behind them until he saw her.

She was just as he remembered from a month ago. Platinum blonde hair, a swath of makeup and extremely red lips. She too dressed like all the women Jess had seen down here.

"Bobby" she said in an emotionless voice.

"Hi mom" he said "nice to see ya".

Lureen nodded and then her gaze rested upon Jess. Just like a month ago, she gave him that face, her mouth twitching a bit.

"You Jess?" she said. Jess nodded "nice to meet ya" she said it in that same voice. Jess couldn't tell if she was being polite or spiteful.

"Well, come we better get goin" she said. The two followed her to the same posh looking car that Jess saw her driving. He lugged his suitcase into the trunk and got into the back while Bobby took the front. Lureen got in, started the car, and pulled out of the drop off area until they were traveling down the highway.

After a few minutes of silence, Lureen took out a long cigarette stick and lit it up. After taking a few puffs she finally spoke "so how's school Bobby?"

"S'okay" he said.

"You still have that E in English?"

"No" Bobby replied "I managed to raise it to a D".

"Why not a C?"

"I'm tryin' mom" Bobby replied.

"You ain't tryin' unless you'r succedin" she said this very flatly.

"aren't there requirements to make when on a sports team?" she said.

"Too few guys" Bobby said, "grades ain't an issue".

"Think they should change that". Lureen reminded Jess off a wall. Plain, blank, and expressionless. She seemed civil enough but whenever she spoke it was always without emotion, almost like there was this barrier between her and the outside world. People only saw her and nothing else. Kinda like a businesswoman.

"So Jess" she said "you'r…his son right" a shot of anger rushed threw him. She made him sound like he was born from some criminal. However, he figured being born from a queer constituted that calling.

"You know, he has a name mom," Bobby said.

"I know" she said "but I don't feel like I should hafta put it out in the open".

An awkward silence entered the car until Lureen spoke again "so, are ya?"

Jess nodded "ya".

"Where've ya been all this time? Ain't never heard of ya till bout a few nights ago".

"Living in New York, with my mom".

Lureen's mouth twitched "New York huh? That's a long ways away".

Jess nodded. "How long ya stayin…with them".

"Till I turn eighteen" he replied "my mom died".

"Very sorry bout that" she said in that same emotionless voice. You don't sound sorry he thought. Again the silence entered the car and for a while no one spoke.

They soon pulled into the town of Childress, which Jess honestly could say was the biggest place he'd been in a while. There were a lot more shops then in Shattuck and a fair amount more of people. But, it was still a small town and Jess still felt all exposed.

They soon pulled up to the house, a moderate looking place but definitely bigger then Jack and Ennis's. Lureen snuffed out what must have been her fourth cigarette and got out. He grabbed his suitcase and followed Bobby up the steps and into the house.

Jess felt as if he'd stepped into a time machine and gone back to the fifties. Everything seemed to match, the chairs, the wallpaper, the floor, everything seemed to be the same spotlessly clean off shade of white and brown.

Jess spotted someone on the couch. It was a big man with an annoying looking mustache and of course had that same cowboy attire. He looked to be about in his fifties and his hair was beginning to gray.

He got up and smiled "well, hello their Bobby, nice to see ya again" he came over and shook Bobby's hand. Jess saw the look of discomfort that crossed Bobby's face "look at ya" the man, continued "lookin' more like ya granddaddy every day".

Jess snorted a laugh. Bobby looked almost nothing like this man and he could easily tell that this was meant as an insult. The man heard this and shot Jess a look.

"And who the hell are you?" he said, his voice becoming a snarl.

"Jess" Lureen said, "This here's my daddy L.D. Newsome. Daddy this is Jess, he's…"

"Fag boys son?" he replied, a snide smile crossing his face. A look of puzzlement crossed Jess face, I know he did just call me some fag boy's son he thought.

"Daddy" she said "not now".

"Only kiddin" he replied. Didn't look like you were kidding Jess thought "nice to meet ya" he said in a flat voice. Jess wasn't sure if he should say pleasure to meet ya or punch the guy right in his chubby face.

He decided to play it safe "uh…thanks," he said. After a brief moment of uncertainty Lureen said "come on, I'll take ya too you'r rooms" gladly Jess thought. He picked up his suitcase and walked passed L.D. following Lureen up the stairs.

Jess followed her to one room that had a single bed and a desk, everything looking as orderly and clean like downstairs. "This here's you'r room Jess" she said "now, Bobby's room is just across from ya. Should ya need anythin' come and ask me".

"Kay" Jess replied.

"Any questions?" she said.

Jess shook his head. "Okay then, I'll be downstairs in my office" without waiting for a reply she walked down the hall and headed downstairs. Jess put his suitcase down and sat on the bed. This place gave him the creeps, it was to plain, to orderly, to clean, he felt like he was in some sorta Twilight Zone episode.

Bobby appeared at his door a few minutes later "hey" he said.

Jess didn't respond, "Look, sorry bout L.D." Bobby continued, "he's always been like that with my daddy and Ennis, so don't take it personally".

Jess didn't respond for a moment before finally saying, "what exactly does she do?"

"She works for my granddaddy. He's some sorta farm equipment magnate, you know sellin' tractors and stuff like that. My mom acts like his secretary".

Jess nodded "well come on".

Bobby looked at him funny "what?"

"You got English homework don't ya? Lets get to it, give me something to do". Bobby looked at him a moment and then muttered "n'all right".

Jess got of the bed and followed Bobby into his room.

* * *

Both Jack and Ennis were silent the entire car ride out of Oklahoma. Ennis kept his mind on the road while Jack simply stared off into space.

The two were still angry at each other over the fight they had. Ennis still thought Jack was being stupid, if anyone knew about them they'd be warming up there tire irons in a heartbeat. Jack still thought Ennis was being paranoid and that he was acting like a stubborn ass. That and for…a few other reasons. Namely Jess.

The kid had greatly outworn his welcome. The two have tried to reach out to him but trying to talk to Jess was like going into battle. And so far, they were losing the war. Ennis had all but given up but Jack being the optimist he is still believes they can break through to him.

For a while now, Ennis had begun to wonder. What if he'd never left Alma? What if he decided to be with his original family and stay with Jess? Maybe then things would be different. Maybe then he would actually love Ennis as a father. But then, what about Jack? If he had stayed in that relationship, he would still have been miserable. He would still be thinking of Jack every time he was alone, looking forward to those weekends, even thinking about him while he had sex with Alma. No he thought I made the right decision. Did I? It was a question he never wanted to answer.

They had been driving for almost nine hours now. They stopped at small motel, deciding to take the remaining four hours tomorrow morning.

The room was decent enough, plain red carpet, single bed, and a small bathroom.

"I'm takin' a shower," Ennis said. He didn't wait for Jack's reply. He stepped in and let the warm water wash down his body. When he was done, he grabbed a towel from the rack and hurriedly dried himself off.

Jack soon came in, stark naked, and walked passed Ennis to get into the shower. He desperately wanted to just walk in with him and simply wrap his arms around him. But he figured now was not the best time.

Ennis slipped on some boxers and an old white t-shirt. He then climbed onto the stiff mattress and laid down. He listened to the sound of the running water from the bathroom, a soothing melody that seemed to quiet Ennis's restless thoughts.

The water turned off after a few minutes. Jack came out after some time and slipped on some boxers and climbed into bed with Ennis. He immediately felt the tension build in the room. For the past week the nights had been like this. The two would be at opposite ends of the bed, both doing there best to not look at one another, barley saying two words to one another.

Jack turned off the lamplight and rustled down to bed. Ennis simply stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come but it didn't. He tried to think about how he would talk to the rancher tomorrow but his mind was to clouded to think. For ten minutes, he was like this. He felt so restless, like there was something he wanted to say but couldn't. Jack wasn't asleep either, Ennis could tell because whenever he did sleep it was always a pleasant low breathing.

Ennis finally turned his head and saw Jack was looking at him, blue eyes clouded. They stared at each other for a moment, a silent conversation passing between them. they didn't wanna talk but they also needed each other. Jack shifted over to him, sliding a hand down Ennis's chest.

He looked up at him, still tracing patterns on his chest. Ennis slid down and gently planted a kiss on his lips, his hand going behind Jack's head. Jack kissed him back and slid his arms around Ennis. Normally, these kisses would have been passionate and full of desire. But this time, it wasn't about passion or desire. They were just simply being good partners to one another.

Ennis flipped Jack over on his side, pulling down his boxers, kissing his neck. He then pushed in, a small gasp escaping Jack's lips. At this point, Jack would have been all hot and ready, letting out moans of pleasure and urging Ennis on. Instead, he just laid there like a piece of wood and just let Ennis had his way with him.

Ennis was going slowly, unlike the usual rough and fast motion. He wanted to please Jack but as he kept going, he only felt like he was being desperate.

"Ennis" Jack muttered, "This isn't workin"

Ennis sighed "ya" he then pulled out. Jack rolled over and faced him. "Jack" Ennis whispered.

"Ennis" he whispered back.

They both looked at each other, trying to read the others minds, but all they got were blank stares.

"Jack" Ennis finally said, "I love ya. You know that right?"

Jack's eyes began to water, it was very rarely that Ennis said those three words "ya" he said.

"I wanna make ya happy" Ennis continued "and it kills me to see ya like this. To see us like this". Jack nodded "I just wanna make ya happy" Ennis voice cracked a little.

Jack held a hand to Ennis's face "I know ya do cowboy. I know" he then leaned up and kissed him, a slow, long kiss.

"Would it really be so bad if people found out?" Jack continued.

Ennis's mouth twitched "ya have ta understand baby, I worry for ya. If anythin' happened to ya on acounta me, I don' know what I do with myself".

"Nothin's gonna happen to me" Jack said "I know ya think all this bad stuff will happen and I admit, maybe you'r right. Maybe we will be hated, maybe people will spite us, maybe people will come for us…but its always maybe. There's still the chance they won't"

Ennis stared into those big eyes, the soft blue of them putting his mind at ease "maybe ya right" he said.

Jack smiled. He then kissed Ennis again "I love ya" he whispered.

"Right back at ya darlin" Ennis whispered. Jack then kissed Ennis again but this time there was the passion. Ennis brought Jack closer, all the while kissing harder. Ennis then made his way down Jack's neck, a hand gently rubbing over Jack's hard chest. Ennis felt Jack's pulse beat underneath him, a steady hum of noise. He lifted Ennis's face and kissed him hard, hands on Ennis's face.

Ennis wrapped his arms around him, rolling Jack on top of him. Jack then allowed Ennis to push in again and when he did began to grind down on his hard shaft. Ennis felt his body clench up from the sheer joy of it all, jaws clenching shut as Jack kept grinding down.

At that moment, Ennis thought Jack looked so beautiful, like he was seeing him for the first time. His body outlined in the moonlight, muscles clenching as he kept on grinding down. Ennis felt himself coming until the white-hot intensity passed threw his body, all muscles cramping up, and the familiar sensation as he released. Jack gave a loud moan and then collapsed onto Ennis.

Jack laid on Ennis for a few minutes, slowly breathing until he slid off him, his head resting into a nook on Ennis's shoulders.

"That was nice" Jack murmured.

"Fuck ya it was" Ennis replied. Jack chuckled softly; his fingers running threw blond curls.

Jack looked up at him "Ennis, how did it come to this?"

Ennis frowned a bit "whaddya mean?"

"we never used to fight like this so often" he said "we never had so much tension between us before".

Ennis already knew the answer. Jess. "I just don't know what ta do anymore" Ennis said, "every time, he always fights us and no matter what we do he's simply pushed further and further away".

Jack nodded "I know Ennis" he pulled up a bit until he was close to Ennis's face "I know ya think I'm wastin' time but I honestly believe we can change him".

A small tear came to Ennis's eyes "how?" he croaked.

Jack lightly kissed him "I dunno. Maybe we've already lost him…but he's still you'r son Ennis" Jack kissed again "and there ain't nothin' that'll change that".

* * *

Bobby was supposed to read the first few chapters of Angle of Repose. Personally, Jess hated the story. He read it a few years ago and thought it made absolutely no sense. For one, the guy kept on switching back and forth from past and present so often it made the novel confusing and contrived. And the narrator kept on including his own personal problems to the grandfather that didn't help the novels pace. He also felt the ending was so completely pointless, here this wheelchair bound guy writing about his grandfather and at the end he just abandons the idea to write about his grandmother? What was that all about?

Jess was sitting on his bed crossed legged, Bobby at his desk reading the novel to him out loud. Bobby was a very bad reader, he stuttered, he fumbled, and he barley grasped the concept of a large word having Jess to constantly correct him.

"Come on, keep going" Jess said.

Bobby took a breath and continued reading, "I pushed back from among the sun d-dazz-zled papers and rota-tated my ch-chair. Two years practice has not fully acust-acustom-acustomed me to the double sensa-sensation that accomp-accomp-an-acompa-"

"Accompanied" Jess muttered.

"Right, accompanied. Accompanied wheelchair loco-loco-locamot-"

"Locomotion" Jess said.

Bobby fidgeted "locomotion. Above me, as rigid as a monu-monu-nument-"

"Monument" Jess said, agitation in his voice "come on Bobby, this is easy. Just sound the word out in your head".

Bobby nodded "okay. Where was I?"

"Rigid as monument" Jess replied.

"Okay, rigid as a monument. Below, smooth flu-flui-flad-flui-flu".

"Fluidity!" Jess snapped, "Come on Bobby" Jess got up and grabbed the book from Bobby.

Jess recited the entire line "above, I am as rigid as a monument. Below, smooth fluidity. I move like a piano on a dolly". Jess then shoved the book back to Bobby "how hard is that?" he continued.

"I'm tryin" Bobby said "and you ain't helpin' with ya breathin' down my neck".

"And if I wasn't" Jess shot back "you wouldn't have even bothered to pick the book up" Jess grabbed some of his hair and rubbed his head, frustration creeping in.

"Okay, start again" Jess muttered.

"No" Bobby said, "Not if you'r goin' continue actin' like this".

Jess looked at him "like what?" he growled.

"Like some smart ass little punk" Bobby said "the way you've been actin' ever since ya came here. Always snappin' at me and Ennis and Jack, always glarin' at us, just treating us like a bunch of Nazi's! I swear if you'r mom saw ya like this-"

Jess suddenly flared up "first off" Jess said "don't ya dare talk about my mom. And second, you don't know anything about me. Do you think I asked to come here? Did you really think I wanted to be shipped of to Shitsville to live with my bastard of a father and you'r cock-sucking dad? Did you think I wanted my whole life to be shot to hell! I had a life before I came here and then it was shattered once they sent me here!"

Jess walked over and got right into Bobby's face "you want me to change? Then do me a favor. Just let me go". He then stalked out and headed of to his room.

Jess shut his door, anger just boiling inside of him. He grabbed one of the pillows from the bed and screamed into it as loud as he could.


	18. Chapter 18

Authors note: again, thanks for the reviews. Just wanna say that the rating for the story might change to an M. so you know, just for your information. That is all.

* * *

Jess had been lying on his bed for hours it seemed, barley moving from his position. He finally managed to get up and walk to the connected bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face; a slight shock running threw his body. He then lifted his head and saw himself in the mirror.

His eyes were red and bloodshot; his brown eyes now seemed to have gone black. His face was even more sunken in, his lips were extremely cracked, and his hair had grown down to his ears and was now a shaggy mess. He thought he looked like that girl from the Exorcist, ready to start spewing pea soup and speaking in tongues at any moment.

Look at me he thought I'm a wreck. He didn't want to go downstairs looking like this, especially with that L.D. guy down there. By his attitude, he probaly go right at Jess.

He rinsed water on his dried lips, stinging a bit as they passed threw the cuts. He looked threw the drawers and found a pair of scissors. Since his mom never had much money, he had learned long ago to cut his own hair. He considered it one of his useless skills.

It took him ten minutes before he had cut his hair back to its original short and spiky look. He then splashed some more water on his face and dried off his face. He looked back at the mirror.

It wasn't a complete miracle but he did look a lot better. His eyes weren't red anymore and the veins in his eyes were fading. His lips weren't dry anymore and his hair was in better shape. He was still a bit sunken in the face but he wasn't complaining.

A knock on the door followed "Jess, dinner" it was Lureen.

"Coming" he replied. Rubbing his face, he walked downstairs and into the dinning room. L.D. and Bobby were just sitting down while Lureen and some other women began setting the table.

"Jess" Lureen said, "This here's my mom, Fayette".

The woman nodded at Jess. "Hi" was all he said. He sat down at the table and once the family said grace began to eat. It appeared no one noticed Jess's little change but he preferred it that way, draw less attention.

"So Bobby" L.D. said, "How's football goin?"

"Fine" Bobby said, "We've won three of our four games".

"That's my boy" he man exclaimed "jus' like you'r granddaddy back when I was in school" when was that? Jess thought the Stone Age.

"So, Jess" L.D. said his name like some sorta bad word "you play anythin?"

Jess looked at him blankly "no" he said.

L.D. shrugged "how ya doin' in school Bobby?"

Bobby shrugged "fine I guess".

"No" Lureen said, "Straight D's are nothin' to be fine about".

"Ah, lay of their sweetie" L.D. said "as long as he's passin' is fine by me".

Jess took a few bites of his chicken to find it was actually okay. Maybe not like Mr. Madera's cooking but a hell lot better then Jack's.

"So" L.D. was now talking to him "Lureen tells me ya from New York". L.D. was looking at Jess, it was clear L.D. was put off by Jess's clothing.

"Ya" he replied.

"Awful big move from the south" he continued.

"Ya" he said again.

"If I were to make a guess, I'd say you'r momma was tryin' to get away from somethin" Jess knew L.D. was right but the way he said it made him wanna say no.

"I guess," he said.

A brief silence "so how long ya knew you'r daddy was a fag?" he finally said. A slight ripple of anxiousness ran across the table.

"Daddy" Lureen said "not the best time".

"No, I think it's the perfect time" L.D. said "so how long ya knew you'r daddy was fag?"

Jess saw the amusement in his eyes. Jess was really beginning to dislike this guy more and more, always talking to him like he was some failure, judging him constantly, and it seemed like he was trying to demean him.

Jess didn't wanna give him that pleasure of him finding out on the first day, so he said, "mom told me when I was ten".

L.D.'s eyes gleamed "really? Guess that makes sense". Jess nearly dropped his fork. Was this guy trying to pass of that the reason he acted differently and dressed differently was because of his dad being gay?

"Daddy, can we drop it?" Lureen said.

"No, I'm jus' saying. Fact that a guy leaves a woman for a man can have a damaging impact on a kid" now your pushing it Jess thought.

"I mean, I too would question myself if I found out my daddy was gay" then it hit Jess. He actually thought I was a queer just because I looked this way.

"Knowin' that I was born from one of god's rejects" now your saying I'm a reject? Jess thought.

"And goin' to New York nonetheless, I mean you know how many of them queer's are there?" that's it Jess thought. This guy had out worn his patience.

"You know L.D." Jess cut in "you seem to be awfully interested in homo's".

L.D. looked at Jess, shock in his eyes, and anger across his face "and?" he growled.

"Well I mean, it strikes me as odd that your ranting on about queers like you know everything about them".

L.D. shifted "and you'r point bein?" his voice was now a growl.

"It just seems to me you have an odd fascination with them, almost a bit curious about them, as if wondering what it would be like. I mean, you already take jabs at my father and Bobby's dad, you seem to know how they work, not to mention the fact you're a dick".

L.D.'s seemed like he had been hit by a truck, Lureen was about as rigid as a statue, Fayette looked like she was gonna faint, and Bobby seemed extremely uncomfortable.

"Why you little shit," L.D. growled, "where do you get off talkin' to me like that?"

"I'm from New York" Jess said "its second nature".

"I should have the right mind to tan you'r hide," he growled.

"Oh please, like you could even catch me old man. When was the last time you played football anyway? When Roosevelt was president?"

L.D.'s face was now bright red "why I outta" he let the statement hang.

Jess then said, "Wow, you looking awful red there fat ass, want me to get your respirator?"

L.D. pulled his chair out "that's it" he growled, "I'm gonna-"

"Daddy!" Lureen said suddenly, getting up from her chair and walking right in front of him "enough, okay? Jess, go to your room".

Jess simply shrugged "fine" he then got up and walked to the stairs. He headed into his room and laid on the bed. Jess still couldn't believe the look on L.D.'s face; it just felt so good that Jess told him off. Maybe then he'll think twice before trying to disrespect me he thought.

Lureen soon came in "Jess" she said, "I don't appreciate that you disrespected my father".

Jess couldn't believe it. She saw how that guy was treating him. What was he suppose to do? Just sit there and be attacked by him? Unlike Bobby, he was not afraid to speak his mind and that certainly didn't mean rolling over like a good boy to let L.D. demean him.

"He started it" Jess said, "I was only defending myself".

"I don't care" she said "as long as you'r under this house, you will respect me and my parents. Got it". Jess was tempted to tell her to shove it but he decided not to.

"Fine" he muttered.

Lureen nodded "good then" she went silent for a moment "well, good night". She walked out and closed to door behind her. Jess said he wouldn't disrespect L.D. anymore…but some promises are meant to be broken. If L.D. were civil to him, he would respect him. But if he was insistent on acting like he did at dinner then things will take a turn for the worse. Much worse.

* * *

Before Jess went to bed that night, Bobby appeared at his door.

"What?" Jess said.

"Nothin" Bobby said, "jus' wanna say goodnight".

"Okay you said, so go" Jess barked. Bobby shrugged and began to walk to his room.

"Wait" Jess said. Bobby turned to him, eyes guarded. I can't believe I'm gonna say this Jess thought.

"I'm sorry" Jess said "for snapping at ya later. I just…lost my patience, that's all".

Bobby shrugged again "s'okay" he said, "most of the English teachers I had would get tired of all my mistakes and simply had others read".

Jess propped up on his elbow "Bobby" he said "you sure you don't have dyslexia?"

"I dunno" Bobby said "how do ya tell?"

"like, how do you interpret written letters?"

"I dunno" he said again "I jus' have difficulty readin' them sometimes".

"That's dyslexia" Jess said bluntly "well, bad news is you can't cure it, you just have to try and live with it". Bobby shrugged again.

"Tomorrow we'll try again" Jess said "and this time, I'll try and talk ya threw it". Bobby nodded and turned to go to his room when he stopped and looked at Jess.

"You know" he said, "It was nice that ya stood up to L.D. like that. Bout time someone challenged him for a change". Then Bobby headed of to his room, closing Jess's door behind him.

* * *

Ennis woke the next morning with Jack lying on his chest, looking at him.

"Jack, whaddya doin?" he muttered, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"I'm sorry cowboy" he said, "you jus' looked so peaceful, I didn't wanna wake ya". Jack then started to kiss his neck.

"What time is it?" Ennis muttered.

"Bout eight" Jack said in between kisses.

"We really should get goin" Ennis said.

"No" Jack complained, climbing onto Ennis "we have time for one quick fuck" Jack began kissing Ennis on the lips, a hand sliding down his body.

"Uhm" Ennis said, trying to form words but Jack's lips kept them from coming out "no, come on Jack we really have to go".

"The guy said he'd meet us at one, it takes four hours to get ta Ethete" Jack kissed him again "so I think we have plenty of time". Jack kissed him again, his tongue slowly teasing Ennis to submit.

Eventually, it worked "fine" Ennis muttered, one of his lop-sided smiles creeping onto his face "but only a quick one".

Jack smiled and began to kiss him harder. He then began to wander down to Ennis's neck, then his chest, until he disappeared under the covers. Ennis's jaw clenched as the familiar sensation if Jack taking him in began to creep up his body. His body began to shift as Jack kept going, moans escaping his lips, fingers grabbing at the sheets. Then Ennis let out a loud moan as Jack began to go faster.

When he was finished, Ennis flipped Jack onto his stomach and began to thrust into him. Jack's moans kept getting louder as Ennis started to go faster. He lifted Jack up until his back was against Ennis's chest.

"Almost there baby?" Ennis growled in the voice Jack loved. He only managed a small nod, moans only escaping his mouth. Ennis began to kiss Jack's neck and started to go faster as he felt himself beginning to climax. Then when he was almost there Ennis gave four violent thrusts that caused both men to be pushed over the edge. It was rare that they both did it at the same time and when it happened the sensation was amazing.

They both collapsed on the mattress, both panting and laughing. "Shit Ennis" Jack said.

"Ya, shit" was all Ennis could say. He then pulled out and wrapped Jack in his arms.

"So, that good enough for ya?" Ennis muttered.

"More then I bargained for" Jack murmured.

* * *

The two men dressed after regaining their breath. They checked out and continued their trip.

As Ennis drove, he was mixed with feelings of excitement and adhesion. For one, he was happy that Jack and him weren't fighting anymore. But, he was a bit nervous about the meeting. Whatever came out of the agreement, it could possibly change both men's lives. He was also nervous about returning to Riverton.

If they passed threw Riverton, it would be only an hours drive to Ethete. Ennis was a bit uncomfortable returning here. He hadn't been in Riverton for almost thirteen years and he felt returning there might bring up some bad memories. But Ennis decided to just suck it up, its not like he would run into Alma and people by now must have forgotten him, so why worry?

Before he knew it, they had entered into Riverton city limits. Almost immediately, Ennis felt like he had stepped back in time. Barley anything had changed, the buildings were still there, the shops were still there, the same damn signs. Then, as if by natural intention he found himself driving down the same road that led to his old home. Before long, he saw it come into site.

When Ennis and Alma were together, they lived in a small apartment above a Laundromat. The place was cramped and wasn't in the best condition but it was the only thing they could afford at the time. As he drove by, the place was just like it used to be almost thirteen years ago. The same yellow paint, the same old swing set, the same unkempt grass.

Ennis could almost picture himself there, pushing a three-year-old Jess on the swing, Alma hanging up clothes to dry, his truck parked in the driveway. Would things have been like this if I hadn't left? He thought. Then, he turned a corner and soon the apartment vanished from site.

Ennis was silent all the way until they exited Riverton. Jack then broke the silence "you okay there cowboy?"

Ennis nodded "ya, I'm fine".

Jack put a hand on Ennis's thigh "you'r sure?" his big blue eyes stared at Ennis.

Ennis muttered "ya. Jus' thinkin' bout…old memories".

Jack leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek "if ya say so" he whispered in his ear.

After an hour of driving, they soon pulled up into Ethete. Like Shattuck, it was a small town with above one thousand people. Ennis followed the directions in the letter and after driving a few minutes they soon passed threw a large metal gate with the name **Ethete Ranching Co.** in big bold letters.

This ranch sure as hell beat Jack and Ennis's ranch ten fold. Huge buildings dotted the area with cattle and sheep seen grazing all over the ranches expanse. Tractors and other machinery were busily going about there work. It seemed the entire place was a buzz with business.

"Wow" Jack said.

"Ya" Ennis muttered. They parked the car at a large wooden home with the sign **Office** plastered to the side. The two men then got out of the car and climbed the short wooden steps and entered into a small holding area with chairs, a glass table with old magazines, and a receptionist at a polished desk.

Jack walked over to the receptionist, a small wiry looking man with dull green eyes. The man looked at Jack "can I help ya?" he said.

"Ya, we've got ourselves a meetin' with Mr. Denison" Jack said.

"Name" said the man as he pulled out a small book.

"Jack Twist and my partner Ennis Del Mar" Ennis knew that Jack was referring to him as a lover rather then a business partner but the receptionist didn't suspect this.

"Ah ya, here ya'll are" he said, "Have a seat please". They sat down in one of the chairs while the man pushed a button on a black telephone.

"Mr. Denison" he said "you're one o'clock is here".

"Send them in" came a voice from the phone.

The man let go of the button and looked at the two "he'll see ya now". Ennis and Jack got up and went threw the door. It was a large enough office with a small plant at each corner, a large bookshelf, a window that viewed the entire ranch, and a well-kept desk where a large man with a short black beard sat.

The man smiled "h'lo" he said in a gruff voice "you the two ranchers from Shattuck right?"

"That's right sir" said Jack in a enthusiastic voice "names Jack Twist and this here's my associate Ennis Del Mar".

Ennis mumbled a hi. Mr. Denison nodded and gestured for the two to take a seat. Jack and Ennis sat down in the two chairs in front of the mans desk. When they did, he shifted a bit and cleared his throat.

"Now, I can assume ya'll know why I called ya here" he said.

"You'r thinkin' of a partnership right?" Jack said.

"Not necessarily" Mr. Denison said "to become a partner, you'r gonna have ta work you'r way up for that. No, I was thinkin' more along the lines of a…business proposal".

Jack shifted in his seat, his serious face on "what kinda proposal?" he asked.

"Well" said Mr. Denison "I don't know how much ya know bout my business so let me explain for ya. As you saw this place says Ethete Ranching Company, meaning I have other places like these. I have about twenty others here in Wyoming, another ten in Nebraska, and bout six in Kansas. Now, I'm extending my company in Oklahoma. Found out bout ya'lls little operation in Shattuck, you guys got quite a system goin' if I say so myself. So, what better way to start then with ya'll?"

Jack's eyes went hard. For all his good-natured personality, Jack was very serious when it came to business and almost always made a good deal when it came to the ranch.

"So you'r sayin' you wanna buy us out?" Jack said.

"Well, I guess you can put it that way" the man replied.

"Look sir" Jack said, "I know ya mean well but there ain't no way I'm sellin' out my business".

"I understand where you'r comin' from there Mr. Twist" he continued "but, here me out. I ain't askin' for ya to completely sell out you'r business"

"Then what are ya askin?" Jack's voice was now very guarded.

"what I'm askin' is, for the time bein', you will temporarily be apart of my company but if ya give it time you two will soon have enough money to buy you'r selves out and try startin' you'r own company" he paused for a moment "so, I ain't askin' ya to be apart of my business forever, just temporarily until ya get you'r feet up".

Jack tapped his fingers on the chair "can ya give us a moment?" he said, getting up. He and Ennis walked outta ear length from the man and spoke in hushed tones.

"I don't like it Ennis" Jack said.

"Me nether" he voiced Jack's opinion "I know these type o' fella's Jack. You give into them and you'll never get out".

"I was thinkin' the same thing," Jack said, "so it's agreed?"

"Hell ya" Ennis said.

The walked back over to there chairs "I'm sorry Mr. Denison but we're gonna have ta refuse you'r offer".

The mans face scrunched up a bit, then he released a sigh of disappointment "very well then" he said "I jus' wanna let ya know you'r missin' out a good deal".

"I think I got a better one" Jack said, his eyes flashing to Ennis.

Mr. Denison nodded "well, it was pleasure to do business with ya".

Jack nodded and then he and Ennis began for the door when Mr. Denison spoke "but jus' to let ya two fella's know. One way or another, I am gonna extend my business into Oklahoma. Who knows maybe I might set up shop in near ya'll". There was a glint in his eyes.

Jack nodded "we'll see then" he said. Jack and Ennis then walked back to the car. Once they got in, Ennis looked at Jack.

"Thinkin' that was some sorta threat?" he said.

"Reckon so" Jack said but I highly doubt he set up somewhere in Ellis County Far to few people".

Ennis nodded "I guess…but, ya never know".

"Why do ya always have to look on the negative side?" Jack asked.

"So I can prepare for the worse," he answered. He then started the car and the two pulled out of the ranch. When they left, Jack leaned over.

"Hey" he whispered, "I saw a motel when we passed threw".

Ennis smiled "Jack, we've already done it three times in less then twenty-four hours".

"So?" Jack said, "Hasn't stopped us before. Why, I remember one time when fucked each other seven times in one day".

"Jack" Ennis muttered, "that was when we were twenty five and it happened to be the day when we first bought the house".

"Exactly" Jack said, "we celebrated. And, I think we should celebrate on makin' such a good business decision". They were silent for a moment "but, I guess you'r right. I mean, it has been such a long time since you was twenty-five".

Ennis looked at him "what, you callin' me old?"

"No, I didn't say that" Jack said in a teasing voice "I just said you was getting' on in years".

"Okay, that's it" Ennis said. Then, he turned the car sharply into an alleyway between two abandoned buildings. He then unbuckled his belt.

"I'll show ya who's old" he then grabbed Jack's head and kissed him hard. Then, he began to push him into the back seat.


	19. Chapter 19

**Authors note: hey ya'll. Just wanna say to keep reviewing, much appreciated, and just to let ya know I'm thinking of finishing the first part of the story very soon.**

* * *

Jess woke with sunlight streaming on his face. He put a hand to cover his eyes and walked over to the window to pull down the curtains. He slipped on another of his band t-shirts (the Byrds) and another pair of faded jeans. He then made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Like the rest of the house, the kitchen seemed to be out of a Sears catalogue. Everything seemed to match, the floors and counters were spotless of any dirt, and it gave Jess the same feeling like he was in a Twilight Zone episode. He found the coffee maker and poured himself a cup. Then, L.D. appeared and a scowl crossed his face.

"Whaddya think you'r doin?" he said in an accusing voice.

"I'm pouring myself coffee" Jess said "so chill out old man". L.D. glared at him, and then he stalked past Jess and began to pour himself a cup.

Lureen soon came in, already made up and ready for business. "Good mornin' daddy" she said, walking over to him and kissing him on the cheek.

"Hey sweetie" L.D. said.

"Where's momma?" she asked.

"I think she's still sleepin" he replied.

"She's been sleepin' awful late these past few weeks, you think she's comin down with somethin?" Jess knew she was trying to be concern but as she talked in her emotionless voice it just seemed more like a solution to something.

"She's jus' getting' old, that's all" L.D. said. Bobby then entered the kitchen and walked to the pantry to pull out some cereal.

"Hey bud" L.D. said "sleep well?"

Bobby shrugged "okay I guess" he said.

Bobby then came to the table and sat down, silently eating his cornflakes. Lureen finished her cup of coffee and put it in the sink.

"Bobby" she said "me and you'r granddaddy have ta run into town to do some business. You wanna come?"

Bobby shook his head "no thanks" he said.

"I'll go" Jess said. Lureen looked at him with a hard look and L.D.'s face screwed up in anger. Jess didn't care; he had to get out of this house. All the neatness and tidiness were starting to get to him and if he didn't leave soon he'd probably explode.

Lureen's lips thinned a little before she shrugged "okay then" she said simply.

L.D. looked at his daughter as if she'd just lost her mind "you'r jokin' right?" he said.

"Oh get over it old man" Jess said "you'r gonna be seeing a lot more while I'm here".

"Not without a dick in you'r hand" he mumbled.

"Oh please, when was the last time you saw you'r dick?" Jess shot back.

"Jess, daddy, enough" Lureen said "Jess, you can come but only if ya civil".

Jess mumbled something. Lureen gave him one of her piercing looks "all right, all right" Jess said.

"You to daddy" she said. L.D. mumbled something as well but nodded his head. "Then its settled" she continued, "Jess, we'll be leavin' in about…ten minutes or so" she then walked out of the kitchen.

L.D. then stalked over to Jess "look here you little bastard, I don't want no funny business outta ya".

"Calm yourself fat ass" Jess said "I won't do anything to embarrasses you in front of your little colleagues". L.D. glared at him threw his beady eyes, and then he angrily stalked out of the room.

* * *

Jack was moaning and grunting loudly while Ennis seemed to be going at him like some sorta power drill. Maybe it was the old man comment or the fact they were doing it in a car or whatever reason but Ennis was just giving it to him.

Ennis thrust violently, causing a sharp breath to escape Jack's lips "fuck" he said in a short voice. Ennis kept on going, picking up even more speed and power as he went, causing Jack to feel like he would explode from the sheer pleasure of it all. Then, Ennis gave on final, almighty thrust causing Jack to let out a loud cry.

They lay there in the back of the truck, both panting heavily.

"Holy shit" Jack said.

"Now who's the old man?" Ennis whispered.

"Certainly not you" Jack said in short breaths "fuck Ennis, you haven't fucked me like that since we was in our twenties".

"That ain't a problem?" Ennis said, looking into Jack's eyes.

"Hell no" Jack said "I should call ya old more often". Jack was about to get up, when Ennis pushed him back down.

"Wheredya think you'r goin?" he said in that voice "I ain't done with you yet".

He then kissed Jack on the lips "shit" Jack, said, "what I do to deserve this?"

"Nothin" Ennis said "other then being so god damn beautiful".

"Ain't ya the sweet talker," Jack said, kissing him back. Then, Ennis began to travel down Jack's neck, down his chest, down his stomach, until his head was in between Jack's legs. This surprised Jack, Ennis hardly ever went down on him, it was mostly Jack who did. He figured that Ennis still had this thought in his mind that he wasn't no queer and giving a guy a blowjob was a pretty queer thing to do. However there were times when he did go down on Jack and when he did it was the best blowjob's Jack would ever get.

Jack began to moan once Ennis took him in, Jack's hand grabbing fistfuls of curly blond hair as Ennis went to work. He felt his body begin to clench up as he started to work, his jaw becoming a steel trap, and his eyes nearly screwing up but he forced them open so he could look as Ennis did it. He always looked, saving the few precious moments when Ennis actually did it.

For ten long minutes, Ennis kept going and Jack enjoyed every second of it until he felt himself pushed over the edge and then he came. Ennis stopped and climbed back up to Jack who was now panting and sweating.

"Shit" Jack managed, a smile creeping onto his face.

"Feel good there darlin?" Ennis said, stroking a finger on Jack's cheek. Jack could only nod, letting Ennis stroke him. After a few minutes, Ennis began to shuffle.

"Well, we better get goin" he said "long drive back ta Shattuck". He got off Jack and began to slip back on his pants. Jack sighed, disappointment in his voice, but he reluctantly got up and dressed.

Ennis then got into the driver seat and started the car up. They backed out of the alleyway and were back on the road.

Ennis then opened one of the windows "Jesus, smells like sex in here". Jack chuckled at this as they drove out of Ethete and back into open country.

* * *

"Come on Jess, we're leavin!" Lureen yelled from downstairs. Jess finished brushing his teeth, spat out his toothpaste, and rinsed out his mouth.

He went to Bobby's room, where he was slipping on a new shirt "I'm leaving" Jess said. Bobby nodded as he stuck his head threw the shirt opening.

"When I get back, we'll finish reading those last few chapters" Jess said in a commanding voice. Bobby nodded again, pulling down the shirt.

He then headed downstairs where Lureen was waiting for him. He followed her to L.D.'s car, a pick up like Jack and Ennis's cars but this looked brand new. Jess got into the cramped back seat while Lureen and L.D. took the front. He started up the car and pulled out of the driveway and drove into Childress city limits.

They parked on one of the streets in front of a large building. Well, in Jess's opinion is was rather small but after being in Shattuck for so long it seemed big. He quickly clambered out of the truck while Lureen walked over to him.

"Now, me and daddy have ta meet some very important people" she said "we'll be in there for bout an hour I saw. You can walk around a bit if ya like but you better be back here 'fore the meetin's done. Ya hear?" Jess nodded.

"Good then" she said. L.D. and her then walked into the building leaving Jess out in the street. Okay he thought what is it this town has anyway? He began to walk down the small street, looking at the shops he passed by. He then stopped when he spotted a bookstore across the street. Maybe I should get a few to pass the time here he thought. He had managed to bring the remaining fifty dollars that Marlene had sent him, just in case something like this were to come up. He quickly passed across the street and entered the store.

The smell of paper instantly hit his nostrils and he could see dust floating around everywhere. Guess hygiene ain't important down in Texas he thought. He began to pace threw the small isles, scanning anything he could find. He then spotted a book that mildly interested him called _The Sword of Shannara_. He picked it up and read the back.

Jess shrugged, what the hell he thought might help me sleep at night. He continued to look around the store until he'd picked out two other books, _The Color Purple_ and _Rosemary's Baby._ He bought his books and stepped back out into the street. He was now down to ten dollars and Jess figured that there wouldn't be anything around here worth value under ten bucks or less.

He figured that he had about thirty-five minutes or so left before he was excepted back. He walked up and down the street a bit more but nothing else really caught his eye. So, he decided to head back to the building where Lureen and L.D. were.

Once he got there, he sat down on a small bench outside the building and began to read _The Color Purple_. About thirty pages into the book and Jess could already tell the author must be a feminist because all the males he read about were nothing but dicks to this poor little girl. And the fact the girl is pregnant twice over by her step dad doesn't really help much. This bitch must have been real ticked off at some guy to write this he thought.

He heard the door open behind him. Peering over his shoulder he saw Lureen walk out of the building.

"We done?" Jess said.

"Daddy's still in there" she said "and it looks like he's gonna be awhile. Come on, we better go get some lunch while were waitin" it sounded more like an order then a suggestion coming from Lureen's mouth but Jess was pretty hungry so he didn't take note of it. He snapped his book shut, put it back in the bag and followed Lureen to a small deli down the street.

Jess got himself a Ruben sandwich while Lureen got a simple salad. They sat down outside on one of the tables and began to eat. Either of them didn't speak, both just eating at their lunch, barely making eye contact with one another.

Then Lureen broke the silence "so how'd you like it?"

Jess looked at her "hm?" he said.

"How do ya like livin' in Shattuck with Jack?" she said.

Jess wanted to say he hated living in Shattuck and that he wished Jack would burst into flames and burn forever in hell but he figured that would be a bit harsh. So he went with a simple shrug "its okay I guess" he mumbled.

Lureen nodded a bit and took another bite of her salad. "You always were them band shirts?" she said.

"Mostly" Jess replied. The whole conversation felt weird to Jess. Lureen just seemed so dead almost like he was talking to a robot. Plain and emotionless. And not just with him but also with almost everyone she talked to, Bobby, L.D., her mom, and practically everyone else if he could guess. It was as if she didn't want anyone that close to her, like she had to keep him or her at a certain length. It was like she was removed from the world.

Jess took another bite of his sandwich "so" Jess said "what is it with you?"

Lureen looked at him "whaddya mean?" she asked.

"Its just" he began "you seem so…detached".

Lureen shifted a bit "jus' who I am" she said.

"Even with your son?" Jess wished he could have taken that back. He knew that was a pretty heavy blow there but Lureen just stared at him.

She shifted in her chair again "I know what you'r thinkin', that all mothers hafta love their sons and all and they should show it constantly. I do love my son but…I jus' dunno how to communicate with him".

"What do ya mean?" Jess asked.

Lureen sighed "I know I agreed that Jack could have full custody of him and that I wouldn't see him until certain periods. It's just…every time I look at him all I can see is his father" she paused a bit "I know I said I'd made peace with Jack's…lifestyle, don' mean I approve of it, but its jus' no matter when I look at Bobby he's like a spittin' image of his dad. You know how a child can rub off habits from their parents? Well, its almost as if I ain't his parent".

Lureen paused a bit and either Jess was hallucinating but he thought her eyes were starting to mist up "I don' see nothin' in him that's me. Not my eyes, not my smile, not my personality, not my features, nothin'. It's all of Jack's. I try to be there for Bobby but I jus' can't when I have nothin' to try and be there for. Its his dad who always comforts him, who taught him everthin', it was him who raised my son. And I'm jus' someone who brought him into this world…and that's it. Nothin' else" Jess saw the smallest of tears leak out of her eye.

An uncomfortable silence befell the table before Jess spoke "look…Ms. Newsome".

"Call me Lureen" she said, her voice now devoid of emotion and her eyes now hard again.

"Um, Lureen" Jess said "no matter what has happened between you and Jack and no matter how you perceive your son, he's still that. Your son. And no matter what, you have to be there for them…even if ya believe there's nothing to be there for".

Lureen stared at him for a moment "kinda like with Ennis" she said softly. Wait Jess thought did I hear her correctly? All the time Jess had been here, he never once heard her speak Ennis's name. She always just referred to him as just…well him.

"What?" Jess said.

"Jack told me bout ya 'fore ya got here" she said "he told me how you've jus' been fightin' them all the way and no matter what they still try an' reach out for ya".

"What's your point?" Jess said, the familiar fighting tone returning to his voice.

"All I'm sayin' is" she said, "You say how I hafta be there for my son no matter what I see him as? Well, it's kinda like between you and you'r father, how no matter what he still tries to reach out for ya".

She paused again "I jus' wanna tell ya somethin'. Revenge, its like a disease. It infects ya and slowly takes over you'r body until it changes you into somethin' that ain't you" she leaned in a bit "don' let you'r self be stuck in the past. You say how I distance myself from my boy…how's the fact you distance you'r self from you'r father".

Jess wanted to yell and rebuff her accusations. He wanted to deny everything she was saying and tell her how everything was all Ennis's fault…and yet he couldn't. Somewhere deep down, his heart told him she was right. It was a horrifying thought, one Jess didn't wanna accept.

"Well come on" Lureen said "L.D. should be done by now" she got up and gathered her things. Jess reluctantly got up and followed her back to the building, their conversation still fresh in his mind.

* * *

After driving for the entire day, the two men stopped at another motel for the night. They were about four hours from Shattuck and decided to make the final stretch in the morning.

Ennis laid on his back, having just fucked Jack nearly two times over before. Jack was lying on his chest, gently stroking Ennis's strong muscles.

"Hey Ennis" Jack said.

"Ya?" Ennis said.

"Been thinkin' bout somethin".

"What?"

Jack shifted his body a little until he was facing Ennis "jus' thinkin' bout that Denison fella".

"What bout him? You ain't freatin' over that…"

"No it ain't like that" Jack insisted, "jus' hear me out. Meetin' him sorta gave me an idea".

"What kinda idea?"

"Well, he talked about spreadin' his business into Oklahoma right?"

"Right"

"Well…if he can do it, why not us?"

Ennis eyed Jack suspiciously "whaddya sayin?"

"I'm sayin' Ennis" Jack said "is that, maybe we should think about expanding our ranch".

Ennis almost laughed at this but stifled it to a chuckle. "What?" Jack said.

"Nothin" Ennis replied "its jus' that…I mean Jack, what you'r talkin' about would take a lotta work".

"I know, I ain't stupid" Jack said "but I mean, it ain't like we never talked bout it before".

"ya but that was then Jack" Ennis replied "besides why now? We already have a good business goin' for us, the kind we dreamed bout, and if we try to expand we be puttin' up a big risk fer ourselves".

"I already know that Ennis" Jack said "I know the risks involved but I believe we can really do it".

Ennis chuckled a little "okay, let's pretend for a moment I do agree to this. Jus' how are we gonna do it?"

"we'll, I've been thinkin' bout that" Jack said "first off, and we need to get our ranch up and runnin' I mean even bigger then before. I'm talkin' another barn, more cattle, extended property, and hirin' a few ranch hands to help around cause I don't believe we could do this with jus' four people".

Ennis shifted a bit "okay, go on".

"All right, then once we get our place up to par, we start spreadin' and askin' other ranches like us. Not buy them out but more like a joint partnership with them ya know? Then we keep spreadin' and…go from there I guess".

Ennis stared at Jack a bit. It was really risky Ennis thought very risky. They might have to get a second loan on the house and they'd need a chunk of money to get the ranch up to the likes of the big leaguers. Then they'd have to convince the owners of other ranches like there's for joint partnership and get them into big time league shape as well. It was all a very risky plan and if they got it wrong they might lose everything.

Ennis smiled ""you really thought about this didja?" Jack nodded.

Ennis looked at him for a moment, then sighed "n'all right" he said.

"you mean it Ennis?" Jack said, his big blue eyes getting even bigger.

Ennis smiled bigger "ya, I mean it". Jack gave a small yelp of triumph and then cupped Ennis's head in his hands and kissed him hard.

He then pulled away "love ya cowboy".

"Right back at ya" Ennis said.

Jack smiled and kissed him again "this calls for a celebration" Jack said as he began to slowly drift down Ennis's body.

"I thought we already celebrated twice before" Ennis said "and twice this afternoon".

"Those were jus' for fun. This is a special occasion" Jack the slipped under the covers and took Ennis into his mouth.

Ennis grunted "okay their cowboy" he said "if ya say so".


	20. Chapter 20

Jess and Lureen soon arrived back at the building. "Wait here" she said, "I'll go check to see if he's done". She then left Jess and walked into the building.

Jess sat back on the bench, his mind still reeling over the conversation. How could she possibly say that? He thought simply try and let him in? Does she not know what he did to him and his mom? And why was she taking his side? She should be right pissed at him for stealing her husband away. But Jess knew that somehow she was right and that was what scared him.

Revenge, is that what she called it? That I was getting some sorta revenge on Ennis for what he did to us? Cause it wasn't like that, he was mad at Ennis, mad as hell for everything he put him threw.

But what exactly did he put you threw? It wasn't like he was there by your side to do anything.

But he wasn't there! That's why it's his fault.

He left for love.

He left to live in sin!

He never wanted to hurt you.

But he did!

He cared for your mom.

And he abandoned her!

Maybe your wrong.

Maybe I'm right!

It was like two opposing sides had just popped into his head, both in a shouting match for supremacy. Both trying to say they were right and no matter how he tried, he couldn't get rid of the voices. Even when he tried to read his book, even when he banged his head, even when he tore his head telling them to be quiet they were still there.

Forgive Ennis.

Don't forgive him!

Forgive. Don't forgive. Two very difficult choices that Jess didn't want to make…or wanna face. God, how much he missed his mom. Why ma? He thought why did ya have to die like that? You always were a strong woman, always in good health, hardly ever going to a doctor. Why did ya have to die by the hands of a heart attack?

Lureen and L.D. soon came out, interrupting Jess's thoughts. He quietly got into the back and the three drove off.

They appeared back at the house a short while later. Jess got out and headed back into the house. He saw Bobby watching something on the TV in the living room. He walked over and flicked it off.

"Hey!" Bobby said, "I was watchin' that!"

"Book first" Jess said "then TV". Bobby looked like he wanted to argue but Jess shot him one of his piercing looks. This silenced Bobby and he got up off the couch and followed Jess upstairs in silence.

They picked off were they last read, now needing to make up some lost time. Jess kept telling Bobby to say the words silently under his breath, as if he had all the time in the world. He then sat on the bed as Bobby slowly read threw each page, Jess sometimes helping him on the difficult words. This time, Jess kept his patience in line, there were points when he almost wanted to say in frustration come on Bobby, it's only a seven-letter word! But he kept his cool and simply kept encouraging Bobby to read.

After almost two hours, they finally got threw the required reading. "That was good Bobby" Jess said.

"It took me two hours jus' to read a few fuckin' chapters" Bobby mumbled under his breath.

"But you read them right?" Jess said, "so that whole two hours argument doesn't matter".

"I'm so bad at readin" Bobby said.

"So?" Jess said, "Its only reading, not everyone can be good at certain things. I mean, I ain't good at any of the sports I've ever tried to play and you are the best running back I've ever seen".

Bobby still didn't seem to be uplifted by this. Great Jess thought time for me to do the step-brotherly thing. Wait; do I even count as his stepbrother? Oh well he thought.

"Come on Bobby" Jess said "don't beat yourself up over this. Okay, so you aren't good in school, big deal. Thousands of kids aren't good in school either and yet most manage to get threw high school, because they apply themselves. The only thing that matters is you pass your classes and while D's are…a bit stretching it, they are still a passing grade".

Jess walked over to Bobby and put a hand on his shoulder "don't be to hard on yourself, is all I'm saying". Then Jess lifted his hand and walked out of the room.

Wait he thought did I really just put a hand on his shoulder? Jess rolled his eyes and laughed a bit. Oh fuck it, like it really matters.

* * *

Jess spent the remainder of the day in his room, and by the time Lureen knocked on the door he had gotten about half way done with his book. He marked were he left off and walked downstairs to see the table already set with food. 

He started to pick up his food when L.D. walked passed him and deliberately knocked into him. That fucker he thought what the hell did I do?

"Watch were your going fat ass" Jess snarled.

L.D. shot him an angry look "it was on accident" bull shit Jess thought you saw me clear as day.

"Look here old man" Jess said "you bump into me like that again and your gonna pull back a bunny stomp".

"Is that some sorta queer talk?" he hissed.

"Fucker!" Jess exclaimed, setting his plate down but Bobby came up behind him and grabbed his arm.

"Let it go" he said. Jess shot L.D. an ugly look, while he had this snide look on his face. That bastard is gonna get it Jess thought. He pulled free of Bobby's grasp and angrily sat down. Luckily, Lureen and Fayette just walked in so they didn't suspect that an argument took place. Jess quietly ate his food, still angry with L.D.

"So Bobby" L.D. said "ya leavin' tomorrow right?"

Bobby nodded "shame, really nice havin' ya around" and of course, he doesn't acknowledge Jess being here.

"Ya sure ya don't wanna stay a bit longer? God knows, it certainly would do ya more good then goin' back ta live with them".

"Daddy" Lureen said "I thought we said we weren't gonna discuss this".

L.D. shrugged and stuffed his face with chicken "I'm jus' sayin' the truth" he continued, mouth full of half chewed chicken "ain't right for the boy ta be livin' with a couple o' queers. Might get him in ta trouble, trouble he don't deserve. Jus' because they have to live in sin don't mean for the boy to suffer for it".

"You know L.D." Jess said "its rude to talk about people behind their backs".

L.D. shot him a look "was I talkin' to you boy?"

"First off" Jess said "don't call me boy. Second, you were exclaiming your thought to the entire table and third, Bobby's been living with them since he was four and I think he's turned out fine. So what ever you got in your little chauvinistic head bout how living with queers screws ya up, you might wanna back it up with some proof".

"Listen hear you little shit" L.D. said, finger waging "as long as you'r under my house, you will show me some respect".

"Its not like you've given me respect" Jess said "so why should I?"

"Because queers like you don't deserve respect when they're livin' in sin". That's it Jess thought this bastard has gone on far enough.

"You know what old man, I am sick of your attitude. Let me tell ya something, I ain't a queer and I think its really pathetic that you'r trying to get revenge on Jack threw his own son and demeaning him right in front of him and behind his back. I think the only reason you'r doing this is because you are so ashamed that your daughter lost her husband to a man".

"Jess! Daddy!" Lureen exclaimed, "Both of ya, knock it off. This is a family dinner and we will show some respect when at this table. Now I hear any of ya start it up again, both of ya will get kicked outta my house". She kept her hard stare on Jess and L.D. before they began to eat.

The rest of the evening went by without much more talking but there was still a thick blanket of tension surrounding the dinner table. Then when Jess was done, he got up and brought his plate to the kitchen. Then as he walked to the stairs, he walked behind L.D. and deliberately elbowed him in the head, causing him to drop his fork in surprise.

"What the?" his voice filled with shock and anger.

"Sorry" Jess said "accident" then before L.D. could retort he made his way upstairs.

* * *

Ennis and Jack soon pulled up to their house after a four-hour drive. Home sweet home Ennis thought. 

Ennis still couldn't believe that he agreed to Jack's proposal. It was far too risky for him and he was not keen to losing their house should this whole thing failed. However, he had to admit that was some pretty good head Jack gave him after agreeing so it wasn't a complete lose.

They immediately set of to work after being away fro nearly two days. It took them well into the late hours of night and when Ennis got back in all he wanted to do was go right up to bed and sleep. But he couldn't, Jack and him still had to go and pick the kids up when they got back.

The clock read seven thirty nine. Shit he thought we better get going if were gonna meet them in time.

He grabbed his keys just as Jack walked in "come on Jack" he said, "we hafta go and get the boys".

Jack looked at the clock "oh shit, you'r right" he slipped back on his boots and opened the door, Ennis right behind him. They got into the truck and took off once again.

"So" Jack said "whaddya think L.D. had to say bout us?"

"Oh the usual I think," Ennis said "that we'll be rottin' in hell or we're abominations or we should drop dead. You know, the usual".

"I bet he told Bobby how much he's lookin' like his granddaddy" Jack said with a smirk on his face.

"When's he gonna give up on that? That kid looks nothin' like that bastard".

"Try tellin' that to him" Jack replied, "I think all he'll say is better he look like me then some fag".

Ennis smiled "how'd ya think Jess did?"

"Ya kiddin?" Jack said, "He and L.D. must have become best friends, considerin' how they both hate us and all"

Ennis went rigid at the sound of this. The day his son became friends with a heartless bastard like L.D. was the day he bury himself in a ditch.

Jack sensed Ennis's discomfort "I'm kiddin' there cowboy" he said.

Ennis didn't answer, "Oh come on Ennis" Jack said, "You don't honestly think that do ya?"

"Considerin how Jess treats us, I wouldn't be surprised".

"Oh Ennis, quit worryin" Jack said. They drove awhile in silence until they were nearing the airport when Ennis spoke again.

"You think Jess will turn out like him?"

"Like who?" Jack asked.

"L.D." Ennis said.

Jack's eyes went wide "you'r kiddin' right? Ennis, there's no way in hell that Jess will turn out to be the likes of L.D."

"Really Jack?" Ennis said "cause it sure seems like he is".

"Ennis" Jack said, "You are worryin' to much about this. How many times do I have to tell ya?"

"I know Jack, he'll come around" Ennis said.

"Don't say it like that," Jack, said, "I mean, look how much closer he's gotten to Bobby. I haven't heard him say anythin' snide at him for a while now".

"Ya but Bobby ain't…" Ennis didn't finish the sentence.

"Like what? A queer?" Jack said. Ennis didn't reply "why is it so hard for ya to say that?" Jack asked.

"Because" was all Ennis said.

"Because you'r afraid?" Jack said "Ennis, its only a word. That's it, it doesn't change who you are". Ennis didn't say anything.

"Ennis?" Jack asked. But then they pulled up into the drop off zone.

"Come on, lets go get em" was all Ennis said as he got out. Jack sighed and reluctantly followed him.

* * *

Jess woke the next morning and couldn't help but be excited. He was finally leaving this place with its neatness, orderliness, and especially the L.D. factor. Mind ya, Shattuck was no better but he'd rather deal with a couple of fags then L.D. any day of the week. 

He hurried downstairs to find no one in the kitchen yet. He quickly poured his coffee and drained it down in a few gulps. He set it back in the sink and started upstairs where L.D. was seen shuffling down.

"Move fat ass" Jess said, "you're blocking the whole stairs".

"Ain't ya ever heard of manners boy?" he growled.

"I don't give manners to ass holes like you" Jess shot back. Then L.D. got right up into his face.

"Look here you little queen, I have just about had enough of you".

"Same here" Jess shot back. L.D. grabbed Jess's shirt and hauled him against a wall.

"You know, I could beat the livin' shit outta ya right now" L.D. growled but before he could continue Jess shoved his knee up right into L.D.'s groin. He let go from the shock and then Jess punched him square in the face.

"You don't touch me ever" Jess said, L.D. clutching his face "you know what you are L.D? A bully, that's it. And you wanna know why a bully is a bully? Because they hate themselves and have to be-little people just so they can feel like a man". L.D. was glaring at Jess with pure hate.

"You want respect?" Jess said "then why don't ya start respecting others, that includes keeping your snide comments to yourself. Got it?" L.D. seemed like he was gonna blow and lunge at Jess at any moment but he stood his ground, not letting L.D. intimidate him.

"Next time you say something bad about me, Bobby, Jack, or my dad again I will knock your teeth in. are we clear?" all L.D. did was glower at Jess, his eyes full of malice and his face now beet red.

Jess turned to see Bobby staring from the stairs dumb struck. Jess walked past him and headed into his room. He got back on the bed and pulled out his book and began to read.

After a few minutes Lureen came in, her face showing no signs of emotion.

"Did you really punch my daddy in the face?" she said evenly.

"He started it" Jess said "he held me to a wall and I simply fought back".

Lureen stared at him "what you did was wrong Jess. Whether or not he held ya to a wall, what you did was totally unacceptable".

She kept staring at Jess, her eyes hard and her arms cross. Jess held her gaze, the same look in his eyes.

"However" she said, "he did have it comin' to him" Jess's looked at her with confusion. What did she just say? Jess thought.

"Jess" she said, "my momma taught me to always be respectful to people, even when they don't deserve it. I know my dad was treatin' ya unjustly and I apologize for that but that doesn't mean you can go and punch people in the face if they start to disrespect ya".

She walked over and sat down next to him "I ain't mad at ya" she said "hell, I probably woulda done it if someone was treatin' me like that and god knows my daddy has been askin' for it a long time".

Jess eyes stared at her in amazement "really?"

"Ya" she said "see, I don't know if he told ya but L.D. has always been demeaning Jack even before he knew bout him bein' queer. I would constantly prey for one day for Jack to jus' stand up to him and tell him that as long as he married to me he would respect me but…as you can see that never happened".

She paused "you were right to stand up to L.D. but violence is not the way to solve things and nether is reducin' to L.D.'s level". Jess wanted to say something but still had nothing to say.

"Well, you better start packin" she said. She got off the bed and walked out of the room leaving Jess sitting there like some deer in the headlights. Wait what just happened? He thought was Lureen actually being…sincere?

Then Bobby appeared at the door "hey" he said.

"Hey" Jess muttered.

Bobby stared at him and then he burst out in a smile "that was fuckin' awesome!" he said, "Where didja get the balls to stand up to L.D. like that?"

Jess shrugged "he had it coming" he said "besides, bout time someone told him what's what".

"Well, whatever ya did you sure showed it to them. Oh and nice punch".

"My hand's still sore" Jess said.

Bobby laughed. Then, they fell silent for a moment until Bobby spoke "hey, didja really mean it when ya said you stick up for Jack and Ennis?"

Jess looked at him. Wait he thought did I say that? I did say that! Jess shrugged "I just said in the heat of the moment, seemed like the right thing to do". Bobby looked a bit crest-fallen. Guess he figured I'd change my colors after that he thought well tough luck. I'll still will never be able to respect those two.

"I better go get packin" Bobby said. He then walked out of the door way and down to his room.

Jess laid down on the bed, his book long forgotten. I didn't mean it when I said I'd stick up for Jack and Ennis he thought. Did I?

* * *

About seven o'clock, Lureen called them down saying they had to go. Jess picked up his suitcase and followed Bobby downstairs. Lureen was waiting for them by the door, Fayette next to her, while L.D. was a few paces away. Jess saw a huge purple mark was now on L.D.'s cheek. Jess smirked at him and L.D. gave him a look of pure hate. 

"Bobby" Lureen said, "say good-bye to you'r grandparents".

Bobby walked over and hugged Fayette "bye grandma, see ya soon" he said. She patted his back and whispered something in his ear. He then walked over to L.D. "bye granddad" he said. L.D. just shook his hand and grumbled something.

"Well, we better get goin" Lureen said, opening the door. Bobby and Jess followed her to the door but before he left he said "bye Mrs. Newsome, thanks for having me here" Fayette just nodded.

Then Jess gave L.D. a smug look and waited until Lureen was outta ear shot "see ya later, fat ass" he said "oh and you should get that bruise checked out". L.D. seemed about ready to lunge at him but Jess walked out and shut the door on them.

He got in the back of Lureen's car with Bobby and then they pulled out onto the road. The drive went by without anyone talking until they got to the airport. Lureen parked her car and Jess slid out of the back seat, grabbing his suitcase from the trunk. She got them checked in, followed them threw security, and got them to there gate.

"Ya'll got everythin' I hope?" she said in her expressionless voice. The two nodded and Lureen gave them a satisfactory look.

"Jess, it was nice meetin' ya" she said, "I hope to see you again". Jess nodded and shook her hand.

"Now Bobby" she said "I want ya to try and get at least one of you'r classes up to a C. can ya do that for me?"

Bobby shrugged "I'll try" he mumbled.

"Thank you," she said, "good luck in football, I hope ya do well, and tell you'r daddy I said hi". Bobby nodded.

"Now give ya momma a hug," she said. Bobby did and she wrapped her arms around him. Maybe Jess was exaggerating but Lureen actually seemed to mean it. She patted his back and pulled away.

"Now go on" she said, her businesswoman poise back up "don't want ya to miss yer flight".

"Bye mom" he said, picking up his suitcase.

"Take care now," she said. Then he and Jess walked over to the counter, got there tickets swiped and boarded the plane.

* * *

Jack and Ennis saw them walking out of the terminal after a few minutes of looking. 

"Hey there" Jack said happily, giving Bobby a big hug "how was it?"

Bobby pulled away and shrugged "it was okay" he said, "mom says hi".

Jack looked at him "really?" he said in amazement.

"Ya, found it hard to believe either" Bobby said.

"L.D. wasn't to hard on ya?" Ennis said.

Bobby shook "no, he was too busy arguin' with Jess here". Jack and Ennis glanced at Jess in surprise, who stood there with his arms cross and that same hateful face on.

"Really now?" Jack said.

"Oh dad, ya shoulda seen it!" Bobby said, "Jess punched the guy right in the face!"

Jack's eyes went wide "he did what?" he said in astonishment.

"Yep, saw it with my own two eyes" Bobby said.

"Jess, you seriously did?" Jack asked. Jess shrugged.

"My hero!" Jack said, looking to hug Jess but he rebuffed him.

"Don't even think about it" Jess said, "ya, I punched him, big deal. Can we get our bags?" he then walked by without there answer.

"Guess he's still bein' the tough guy?" Jack asked to Bobby.

"Pretty much" Bobby said. They were silent for a moment before Jack started to talk again.

"Well, you are gonna tell me all about it" Jack said "I swear, I've wanted to knock L.D. out for years and someone beat me to the punch".

* * *

**Authors note: hey, just wanna tell ya'll to keep reviewings. much appreciated. i think i might write maybe a few more chapters before i decide to end the first half.**


	21. Chapter 21

Bobby put his suitcase in the back and climbed in to sit in between the two front seats. Jess once again had to sit on Jack's lap but this time he didn't complain, just grumble something and climb into the truck.

Bobby told Jack and Ennis all about Jess and L.D.'s little fight. Jack now called Jess his favorite person in the world while Ennis mumbled glad someone gave it to him.

When they pulled out of the airport and began their drive back to Shattuck Bobby asked, "So how did the interview go?"

"We listened" Jack said "and we turned it down".

Bobby looked at him in surprise "ya did? Why?"

"He wanted to buy us out" Ennis said "and if we did, our business wouldn't be our business anymore". Bobby nodded. That did make sense; he would have made the same decision.

"But, we did decide on somethin" Jack said.

Bobby's interest peaked a little "really? What?"

"Well, Ennis and I have decided to expand the business" Jack said in a proud voice.

"Really?" Bobby said "that's great!"

"Ya" Ennis said "but if we're gonna do this, we hafta make a few changes around the ranch".

"Like what?" Bobby asked.

"Well" Jack said "firs to off, we need to expand our ranch before we can spread across to other businesses so that means we probably are gonna hafta add a few things, hire some help, and get the resources".

"Sounds complicated" Bobby said "and expensive".

"Ya, it's a big risk" Jack said "but we're willin' to take it".

"Won't be sayin' that once we're out on the street," Jess mumbled.

"Jus' because you knocked L.D. out don't give ya the right to still act like an ass," Jack said.

Jess rolled his eyes "whatever" he mumbled. The rest of the way back, Bobby, Jack, and Ennis continued to discuss how they would get this whole business expanding underway while Jess stared out of the window stone faced.

When they got home, Jess immediately opened the door once Ennis stopped. He then grabbed his suitcase and walked back to the house without a second glance.

"God damn kid" Ennis muttered under his breath.

* * *

Ennis couldn't be happier when he hit the pillow. He was so exhausted from today's work and the drive to and from the airport that all he wanted to do was try and sleep. The Ennis felt Jack slip his arm across his chest and then his face appeared before his sight.

"Hey now" Jack said giving Ennis a kiss "don't tell me ya goin' to bed so soon".

"Jack, I'm tired" Ennis said "I don't think I have the energy to do it tonight".

"Not even for a quick ten minute fuck?" Jack whispered.

Ennis smiled "sorry bud, not even enough strength for that". Jack sighed; obviously disappointed he wouldn't be getting any tonight. How can that man have energy for sex after such a hard day like this? Ennis thought he must have some extra batteries stored away somewhere.

Jack kissed Ennis again and then settled on his chest. After a few minutes, Jack's heavy breathing told Ennis he was now fast asleep.

Ennis idly stroked a finger threw Jack's hair, his mind swimming with thoughts. He was still all worked up over expanding the ranch, the more he kept on thinking of everything that had to be done the more his head began to hurt.

Then Jess came to mind.

It was a stupid thought but Ennis somehow wished that when Jess came back from his stay at Lureen's he'd be a changed man. But it was like nothing had changed in the least. He was still as hostile as ever and it seemed now that reaching out to him would be pointless. Well, Ennis already believed it was pointless for a while now but now he was certain that things wouldn't change.

* * *

When the lunch bell rang, Jess snapped out of a self-imposed trance he had put himself in and everything came flooding back in. he was in the gym, leaning against a wall, while people played basketball. It was unanimous he'd sit out, everyone now knew he wouldn't lift a finger and if they allowed him to play all they'd get was a player who simple stood there and didn't catch any of the passes.

As soon as he collected himself, he headed into the locker and slipped back into his jeans and band t-shirt (the Monkees). He headed into the lunchroom, got a ham and salami sandwich, and then he slipped out the door when no one was looking.

Lois was already sitting on one of the rocks when he arrived "hey" he said.

She looked up from her drawing and smiled "hey there stranger. Long time no see". Jess climbed onto a rock, crossed his legs and began to eat.

"So, how's Childress?" she asked.

Jess shrugged "it was a complete waste but it was still bad".

"Oh I'm sorry ta hear that" she said, "why, was Bobby's mom a real bitch to ya?"

"No" Jess said "but it was Bobby's grandfather that did me in".

"Why, is he bad?" Lois said.

"Horrible Lois" Jess said, "you wouldn't believe the guy. As soon as I walk into the door, he begins to grind down on me like I was a family reject".

"Why?" she asked.

"Cause of me being Ennis's son" Jess said.

"Oh" Lois said, "So he knows then…"

"Bout Ennis and Jack? Yep"

Lois bit her lip "so what did he say ta ya?"

"Well, being Ennis's son, dressing differently, and coming from New York somehow gave him the idea that I to was a queer".

Lois's eyes went wide "he actually said that? Like, to you'r face?"

"Clear as day" he replied "even right in front of Bobby's mom and his wife, like it was no big deal".

"Wow" Lois said, "That guy must be a dick".

"Huge" Jess said.

"So, what didja do?" she asked.

"Simple" Jess said, "I fought back. Called him an old man, fat ass, juvenile, oh, and to top it all off on the last day I punched him in the face".

Lois's eyes went even wider and her mouth dropped "what!" she exclaimed "you didn't…are you…Jessie Beers, what in the hell is wrong with chu?"

Jess was surprised. He didn't think Lois would react like that "well, he asked for it" Jess said "he held me against a wall, so I fought back".

"But ya don't jus' go around punching people in the face like that!" Lois exclaimed.

"So what?" Jess said, "I should have jus' let him beat the tar outta me?"

"No" Lois said, "Ya should have simply told him told him to back off. Punchin' him in the face is like reducin' to his level, maybe even goin' lower". Jess was shocked. How could she be taking his side? He thought if she just saw how close he was to punching Jess she would be singing a different tune.

"So, your saying that punching him was a bad idea?" Jess asked.

"Yes, it is" Lois said simply. Jess stared at his shoes for a moment before speaking again.

"You don't understand Lois, you wouldn't believe the way he talked to me. I was not about to let that pig-headed bastard push me around just like he does with everyone else. No one calls me a queer and gets away with it".

Lois tapped her pencil and then said, "maybe ya know now what Ennis and Jack go threw with you".

Jess looked at her "are you kidding?" he said, "that is completely different".

"How?" she asked.

"For one, its true!" Jess snapped.

"So?" she said "jus' because its true or false don't mean it hurts either way".

She paused for a moment "ya know Jess, you may say how much you hate L.D. but in my honest opinion, you and him are more alike then you think".

Jess couldn't believe what Lois just said. Was she actually comparing him to that heartless old hick? There was no way in hell that he and L.D. were remotely similar "are you fucking kidding me?" he snarled.

"No, I ain't" Lois said in a hard voice "you disrespect Jack and Ennis, like L.D. you be-little their authority, like L.D. and you hate them more then anything…like L.D."

Jess still couldn't believe it. Okay sure, when she puts like that maybe he and L.D. have something in common but that still doesn't mean he is remotely like L.D.

"I ain't like him," Jess said in a dark tone.

"Then do me a favor" Lois said "how old are ya Jess?"

"Sixteen" he said.

Lois stared directly in his eyes and said two words "grow up". Jess wanted to yell, Jess wanted to argue, Jess wanted to do so many things but he realized just how little he would seem if he tried to argue. Instead of an aggressive teen, he would seem like a six-year-old child in Lois's eyes.

They didn't speak for the longest of times until Jess finally said "so what then? What should I do?"

Lois closed her pad and walked over to Jess, sitting next to him "Its time to stop livin' in the past Jess. No matter how much you fight, no matter how sharp your words, no matter what ya do to hurt Ennis, it will never change the past. What's done is done…all we can do now is live in the now and look to the future". She then hugged Jess softly.

"You'r my best friend Jess" she said "and I want ya to be happy. And the only way you can be happy is to try and sort things out between you and Ennis".

She pulled away and looked Jess in the eyes "can ya do that for me?" she asked.

Jess stared back into her dull green eyes and as much as he didn't want to, he found that he just couldn't say no.

"All right" he said, "I'll try". Lois smiled and hugged Jess again. She whispered a small thank you into his ears. She then pulled away, walked back to her rock and picked up her notepad.

"So, my weekend was jus' so borin" and then Lois was off, busily explaining her Labor Day weekend as if the incident didn't happen. Jess laughed at this.

Good old Lois he thought.

* * *

"I'll see ya tomorrow okay?" Lois said as they pulled up to the house.

"Okay" Jess said as he got out of the car.

"You know" Lois said "you should come over and have dinner with us soon, seems like forever since ya been over".

"It's only been a few weeks," Jess said.

"Ya well, it seems long ta me" she said "besides, daddy really wants ta see ya again soon".

"You don't say" he replied.

"Hey, you should take that as a comment" Lois said "he really likes ya, says you'r funny".

Jess shrugged. He never thought of himself as funny. "Well see ya" Jess said. Lois waved good-bye and then made her way down the road.

For the first time, Jess wasn't exactly thrilled to be back at the house. Well, he never liked the place before but after a day in school it seemed like heaven to Jess. He knew that he was gonna have to talk to Ennis and as much as he didn't, he just couldn't let Lois down.

He made his way up to the house. Jack and Ennis must be out at work Jess thought. He decided to prepare his little talk.

"Ennis, we need to…no, to bland" Jess thought "Ennis, I think we have a few issues to…no, not that either" he paced back and forth in the kitchen.

"Ennis, I know I've been…no to direct" Jess sighed "shit, this is gonna be hard". I better go and sit on this Jess thought. He made his way up the stairs and stopped halfway to his room.

He was right in front of Ennis and Jacks bedroom door. Jess had never been in there before and he had hoped to keep it this way. But now, Jess had a strong urge to see what was beyond that simple wooden door. He grasped the cold doorknob and walked in.

To Jess's surprise, it was a pretty ordinary room. He had been excepting something…well, something not so ordinary. A large king sized bed stood against the south wall, a plain white bed cover draped over it. A large wooden cabinet stood directly across from it against the north wall and a single nightstand stood next to the bed. That was it, nothing more, nothing less. It seemed like any other bedroom to Jess.

He walked into the connecting bathroom, which like the bedroom seemed like any other bathroom with a toilet, shower, sink, and medicine cabinet. He walked over and opened medicine cabinet. He saw toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, razor, shaving cream, aspirin, and a bottle of lubricant.

Jess shut the cabinet and shuddered. Did not need to see that he thought. Well, besides the bottle of lubricant everything else seemed so ordinary.

Jess headed for the door when he noticed the cabinet door was slightly agar. He stood there a few minutes, debating whether or not he should open it. After the medicine cabinet he didn't wanna find any other sex products lying around. He decided to risk it. Walking over to the cabinet, he grasped the door and opened.

Luckily, there were no sex products. But, Jess was a bit surprised at what he found inside.

For one, the cabinet was bare of nearly all clothing and items. The only clothes Jess saw were a pair of old shirts. One was a faded jean shirt that seemed crinkled with age, while tucked inside it was an off white shirt. Both hung on a single hook in the back of the cabinet. Jess felt the cuff of the off white shirt, feeling hard and starchy under his touch like it hadn't been washed in a long time. He then spotted a few bloodstains dotting the sleeve. What happened here? He thought.

On the inside of one of the cabinet doors, pictures, telegrams, and postcards were tacked on in uneven rows. Some of them were of the farm, Jack and Ennis, Bobby at certain ages, basically pictures representing their history together. Then Jess spotted a picture of a newborn baby and realized that it was him. He knew because his mom had the exact same picture displayed on her cabinet. But there was one postcard that stood out most of all.

It was in the center of the rows of pictures and seemed the oldest one of them all. Jess took off the postcard, a picture of a snow-capped mountain with forest surrounding it. He flipped it over. On the back in scrawl writing was a message that read, _Ennis, I'll be driving threw Riverton in a few weeks. Was hoping you wanna meet? From Jack._ Jess then saw the date on the upper-right corner, _September 19 1967_. 1967 Jess thought that was only two years before he left us.

Turning the postcard over to the front, he saw typing at the bottom that read _**Brokeback Mountain**_.

Wonder what's so special about this place Jess thought seems like any other mountain to me.

* * *

Where is Jess? Ennis thought, he should be home by now.

Jack came walking into the stales "you seen Jess anywhere?" Ennis asked.

Jack shrugged "dunno, figure he's still in the house. Want me to go get him?"

"No, I'll go" Ennis said, "Besides I can use a break". He slipped off his gloves and began to walk out of the stales before Jack slapped him playfully on the ass.

"Better hurry on back" Jack said, a devious smile on his face.

"Fuckin' tease" Ennis muttered.

He walked into the house and didn't see Jess in the kitchen or the living room. "Jess?" he called, walking up the stairs.

Ennis saw his bedroom door was opened. He walked to the entryway and saw Jess, standing in front of the opened cabinet door.

Oh shit Ennis thought in horror he found the shirts!

Jess turned in surprise from Ennis's sudden appearance, a postcard clutched in his hand. Ennis realized that it was the Brokeback one; the one Jack sent him all those years ago, the one that re-ignited this whole thing between them.

Both he and Jess stood there, looking at one another with intense stares. Jess stepped forward a bit.

"What is this?" he asked, holding the postcard up.

Then Ennis remembered what Jack said. In time you'll see that three-year-old boy you remembered so fondly. What you have to do now Ennis Del Mar, is wait for the right moment.

Ennis figured that moment had finally come. "Jack sent me it. It had been a few years since we last talked, back when I was livin' with you'r ma".

Jess looked at the postcard "what's so special about Brokeback Mountain?" he asked, that fighting voice creeping in.

Ennis shuffled his feet and braced himself "that was where Jack and I…first met".

Jess stared at him, his eyes devoid of any emotion "and when was that?" he asked.

"Summer of '63" Ennis replied.

Jess bit his lower lip "what were you doing there?"

"Workin" Ennis said, "Jack and I were both employed under the same man. Herded sheep together".

"63" Jess said in a whisper "that was nearly seven years…before you left us".

Ennis saw the look on Jess's face and it caused his stomach to clench up. All he could say was "ya".

Jess stared at him for the longest of times, he then walked over and sat on the bed, the postcard still clutched in his hands.

"Tell Me," he said.

Ennis looked at him in surprise "tell you what?"

"About how you two met" Jess said "how you…" he couldn't bring himself to say fell in love with each other.

Ennis walked over and sat down next to him "why?" he asked.

"Because I wanna know what ya see in him," Jess said, his voice even "I wanna know what was so special about him that tore you away from us". His voice was beginning to crack. It was the first time since Ennis overheard him in the bathroom how sad he sounded.

Ennis swallowed, having dreaded this conversation for who knows how long. He figured about the time when he left Alma.

"You sure?" Ennis whispered in his gruff voice.

Jess only nodded. Ennis took a deep breath "okay" he said, "Hmm, were to begin…"


	22. Chapter 22

**Authors note: hey everyone. Again, thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming. This chapter will tell of Ennis and Jack's lives after Brokeback in my point of view. The first half is basically a flashback sequence of events that happened during their stay and the other half will take place over the next four years before their reunion. So I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Ennis told him. He told Jess everything, about that incredible summer on Brokeback Mountain. At first, it was hard to get going but eventually he found his pace and was soon telling the story in smooth fluidity. Jess simply sat there, his face stone cold. Never once while Ennis told the story did he speak, his brown eyes simply locked on Ennis, drinking in his entire story.

When Ennis finished, Jess eyes were staring at his feet. "All that happened?" he said in a whisper. Ennis nodded.

"What about after?" Jess said.

"It's a bit…complicated" Ennis said. This was the next conversation he dreaded, the one of how his life was after Brokeback, about his life with Alma, and that fateful day when that postcard came.

"I don't care" Jess said simply "I wanna know everything".

Ennis shifted a bit "okay" he took a breath "after the snowstorm hit, it was decided that we'd pack up early…"

* * *

_August 29, 1963_

Ennis watched as Jack packed his things up in his car, a nasty bruise seen on the side of his face. Ennis was all full of emotion right now. The summer had ended earlier then excepted when the snowstorm hit a few days ago, putting an end to their jobs up at Brokeback. As Ennis watched Jack, his mind began to reply the events of the summer.

He remembered the day when he first met Jack. It had been only eight weeks ago, both knocking on the doors of one Joe Aguirre. Both were nineteen, both high school dropouts, both looking for work. There job was simple, tend to the sheep and make sure none wandered or got killed. But little did Ennis know that something much more would happen on those mountainsides.

He remembered that night. That cold night up in Brokeback. He and Jack had just drunken down nearly an entire bottle of whiskey and for Ennis he was way to drunk to make it all the way back down to the herd. So, he decided to stay. His teeth chattered away as the cold night air whipped his face, sleep seemingly impossible. Then Jack poked his head out and told him to quit his shaking and get in. at first Ennis waned to refuse but the cold was too much for him to bear. So he got up and drunkenly stumbled into the tent.

It was a lot warmer inside and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep. However, that wouldn't last when he awoke to find his hand down Jack's pants. He recoiled from the shock but Jack grabbed at his shirt to prevent him from running. Ennis tried to fight him off but Jack held tight, his eyes intense.

Jack began to slip of his jacket, leading Ennis to mumble "whaddya doin?" in a still drunk voice. Then before Ennis knew what he was doing, he flipped Jack over, unbuckled his pants, and pushed in Jack. He heard him gasp in pain, taking in short breaths at regular intervals but Ennis didn't let up and he kept going. The whole thing was rough, painful, and done in a drunken stupor.

He remembered the second night. The night after their first encounter. Ennis had been so confused the entire day, his emotions battling over one another. I ain't queer he thought I ain't queer. He tried to tell himself that he was drunk and that things got out of hand and one thing led to another and…it was just a mistake. And yet, Ennis couldn't stop thinking about it. Last night kept on replaying in his head and no matter how much he tried to block it, the images kept coming.

It was night, the fire crackling away, Ennis rubbing his knuckles in frustration. Jack was in the tent, lying down. Ennis bit on his lip and before he knew it, he looked to the tent, Jack's outline clear. No Ennis thought I ain't no queer, I love Alma, I'm gonna marry her, I'll have tons of babies with her, I will…but somehow all of this got lost in Ennis's mind and as if something had taken over his body, he got up and walked over to the tent.

He knelt down and looked in. Jack propped himself up and looked at Ennis, only his jeans still on, well toned chest outlined by the fire. Ennis didn't know what to say, about last night, about…that thing. Jack held up a hand and stroke Ennis's cheek. Ennis wanted to swat Jack's hand away but something inside him held back this action. Jack cupped his hand around Ennis's head, his eyes so intense and full of emotion.

Then Jack leaned forward. Ennis tried to back away but Jack's hand held him firm and the two kissed. Ennis so desperately tried to pull away, his body rigid, Jack's lips pressed onto his. But as the seconds past, he slowly began to relax and then he gave himself over.

"I'm sorry" Ennis murmured.

"Its all right" Jack whispered, "its all right". He held Ennis close to him and brought him to the ground. Ennis felt his body trembling, a shaky hand messaging Jack's strong chest. Then he looked up at Jack, eyes on the verge of tears, and they kissed again. Jack rolled on top of him, there kisses long and deep. Then after a few minutes, Jack stopped and looked at Ennis. He could see the fear in his eyes, how scared he must be, but Jack never wavered, holding Ennis close. His eyes and face saying its okay, I'm here now.

The two of them were soon undress. Ennis on top of Jack as he slowly thrust into him, his eyes so focused on Jack that nothing else in the world seemed to exist. As they kept going, Ennis began to go faster, Jack's soft moans urging him on. Then, as he felt himself being pushed over the edge, Jack kissed him hard on the lips, both men coming together as one. When the sensation passed, Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack and held him in a tight grip, never wanting to let go.

He remembered that one day were it had gotten so hot. The two men were making out on top of a hill that overlooked the herd, both shirtless and sweating from the heat. They had been going at it for twenty minutes now, the sheep long forgotten. Somewhere in the middle of it all, Ennis was able to mutter, "I ain't queer". This caused Jack to stop and look at him, a smile creeping on his face "well I ain't queer either" he said in a gleeful voice, rolling Ennis over until he was on top. He then gave him a deep, passionate kiss and the two continued for another forty minutes.

He then remembered an event that took place only hours before. Ennis was sitting, his mind still afoul about leaving early. Then Jack came over and lassoed him "come on cowboy" he said. Ennis reluctantly got up and shuffled his way down the hill when Jack lassoed him again causing him to fall. Jack laughed at this, causing Ennis to pull the rope Jack had over to him and cause him to fall over. The two began to wrestle playfully but somehow the playfulness somehow turned into a show of dominance. Then, Jack clipped Ennis on the nose, causing it to break and bleed.

"Oh Ennis!" he exclaimed, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he said, taking Ennis into his arms while he wiped blood on his shirt.

"I'm so sorry" Jack continued, holding Ennis in his arms. Ennis was anger at this, he wasn't no woman needed to be tended to. This and all other emotions about leaving suddenly boiled over and he punched Jack clean across the face. Before Jack could get up, Ennis reluctantly stalked off to the truck. He changed his shirt once they got back, only to come out and find it gone. He looked for it a few minutes but after no success he gave up on it. Only a shirt he thought.

Now here they were, both men leaving. Ennis was to go back to Riverton and marry Alma; Jack was to return to Lighting Flat with his folks. Jack finished packing and turned to Ennis.

"So, you headin' out to marry her?" he asked.

"Yep" Ennis said, "That's the plan. You headin' on home?"

"Ya" Jack said "but only for a little while, then I think I might head down to Texas, enter a rodeo and such" Jack fucking Twist Ennis thought.

The two stood there, not knowing what to say, "so" Ennis said, "I guess…this is goodbye".

Jack nodded "seems that way". They stood there, both uncertain.

"Well" Ennis said "see ya 'round?"

Jack nodded "ya, sure". Then, Ennis slung his bag over and began to walk down the road while Jack got into his truck and drove down the opposite way.

Once Jack was out of view, Ennis ran into an alleyway and vomited. He suddenly felt sick, his stomach all clenched up and his knees buckling down on him. He angrily punched the wall in frustration. Jack he thought Jack Twist. He saw someone watching him.

"What the hell are ya lookin' at?" Ennis yelled in frustration. The man backed off and walked down the road, while Ennis cried in the alley.

* * *

_June 5, 1964_

Ennis walked up the stairs off the laundromat and walked into the house. He had just gotten back from his job working at the power plant. He put down his tin lunch box and slipped off his hat.

"Alma?" he called.

She came walking in the kitchen, her brown hair tied back in a bushy mess, breathing shallow, and her face flushed. She was already eight months pregnant and Ennis first reaction was she might be having the baby when he saw her like this.

"Alma, you okay? It ain't time yet?"

"No Ennis don't worry" she said, taking a glass of the counter and turning on the sink "jus' a bit tired, that's all". Ennis relaxed a bit, though he was still worried for his wife. He sat down in the chair and slipped off his boots.

"So how was work?" Alma asked, taking a sip of water.

Ennis shrugged "s'all right". He rubbed his eyes, which were bloodshot from lack off sleep.

"You know Ennis" she said, "I can go back and work at Franks. Manager said I can come back if I was up for it". Alma had decided to take a maternity leave after she was three months pregnant; all of the things that came with being pregnant hampered her performance at the grocers so the manager gave her the time off until she got better. Because of this, Ennis had to get a second job working the night shift at a tire store

"No Alma" Ennis said "look at ya, you can barely walk. I can handle it". Alma shook her head, drank the last of her water, and put the cup in the sink.

"I'm gonna take a nap" Ennis said, getting up.

"I'll come wake ya" Alma said as he walked out the kitchen and into their bedroom. As he lay down on the stiff mattress, his head hitting the pillow, he slept. Jack was in his dreams; he had been for months now. Sometimes it be them talking around a campfire, sometimes it was them hunting, and sometimes it was them making out and having sex.

This dream was them having sex. It was nighttime and Ennis had Jack on his stomach, pounding into him relentlessly. Jack moaned beneath him while Ennis grunted with effort. Ennis began kissing Jack's neck while he worked his way around until his lips met Jack's, kissing him hard. Then Ennis felt himself climaxing and he began to go faster until he felt the sensation flood over him and then collapse onto Jack who was panting beneath him.

"Love ya" Jack said breathlessly.

Then Ennis woke when Alma began shaking him. He was on his side, back to her, and realized he had a massive hard on.

"Come on Ennis, gotta go ta work," she said. Luckily, she didn't see it and Ennis muttered an okay.

Once Alma walked out, he hoisted himself up, Jack still fresh in his mind.

* * *

Jack was nervous. It was his first professional rodeo bout since coming to Texas. It wasn't his first time being in a rodeo, hell he got a prized belt buckle back when he entered his first rodeo competition about a year ago.

But that was small time this was the real thing. Whatever came out from this one match would make or break his rodeo carrier.

Jack saddled himself on the large bull as the announcer guy began to introduce him.

"And now!" he heard the guy say, "We are proud to introduce a newcomer to our ring. He's young, brash, and is already a champ in the minor league so put you'r hands together for Jack Twist!"

Then, the gates opened and Jack braced himself as the bull took off. He heard the sound of the crowds cheering away, things flashing by in hurried images, Jack's focus only on the bull and not getting bucked off. Jack managed to last for about nine seconds before the bull finally won and he got kicked off.

He quickly hauled himself up before the bull's foot came into his face. Jack breathed in a sigh of relief, a smile creeping onto his face.

"Lets hear it for Jack Twist!" the announcer said, the crowd cheering him on. Jack began to walk threw the gates before looking out into the crowd one last time.

A young woman was staring at him intently. She had long flowing auburn hair tucked under a bright red hat with sharp brown eyes. She winked at Jack before he disappeared into the gate.

"Hey there hot shot" Terrence said. He was the next rider up after Jack and he and Jack had become friends ever since he came here "nice job out there!"

Jack shrugged "was nothin" he said but a smile on his face told him how proud he was.

"Hey, did ya see that one fine gal lookin' at ya?"

"Na, she wasn't lookin' at me," Jack said.

"Bull shit!" Terrence exclaimed, "She had her eyes all over ya".

"Who is she anyway?" Jack asked.

Terrence shrugged "not sure, you should ask around".

Then the announcer began to call Terrence out "oh gotta go" he said, "wish me luck". He then walked to the bull and got on. Then, the gates flew open and Terrence was off.

* * *

_July 29, 1964_

Ennis pulled his car up the driveway to the apartment. He walked up the stairs and entered the place.

"Alma?" he called. No answer "Alma?" he called again. He walked into the living room to see her walking out of the bathroom, her hand clutching her swollen stomach.

"Ennis" she gasped "I think its time". He then saw the large stain that ran down her skirt.

"Ah shit!" Ennis exclaimed, running over to Alma "okay, jus'…jus' keep breathin' I'll call the hospital". Alma nodded and then let out a moan of pain. Ennis helped her lie down on the couch.

"Ya'll right?" Ennis said, his mind reeling from all that was happening.

Alma nodded "started only a few minutes ago" she said between gasps of breath. Ennis quickly ran to the phone and fumbled a minute before he got the hospital woman on.

"Ya, uh my wife jus's went inta labor" he said, fumbling with his words.

"How far are the contractions?" the woman asked evenly.

"Uh, um, it started…bout few minutes ago" he replied.

"We're sendin' an ambulance right now". Then the woman hung up.

* * *

Ennis waited nervously outside the delivery room. The doctor telling him he had to step out for them to do this. So many things went threw his minds, the first was the fact he was an actual father now. He hoped it was a boy, someone who can carry on his name. But if it was a girl, that was okay with him as well. The thought of just having a kid was enough to satisfy him.

It had been almost five hours ago since Alma went into labor. He had called the tire shop to tell them and luckily they gave him the day off for him to be with his wife. Finally, after the entire wait, the doctor walked out of the room.

"Mr. Del Mar?" the man asked, a skinny man with frazzled red hair.

"Ya" Ennis said, getting up "is it over with?"

The man nodded "yes, it is Mr. Del Mar…but, I have some bad news". Ennis felt his heart drop. He learned long ago that whenever a doctor said this, it was always something horrible. Like when the doctor told him about his parents passing from the crash.

Ennis nervously kneaded his hat "w-what kinda bad news?" he asked, "is Alma okay?"

"Yes Mr. Del Mar, she is," he said "its…about the baby".

Ennis felt his stomach flip and a lump form in his throat "what…what's wrong with…the baby?"

The doctor looked Ennis right in the face, his face stolid "I'm very sorry to have ta tell ya Mr. Del Mar…but, we lost the baby".

Ennis felt like someone had just dropped a bomb right in front of his face. At first, it was the shock of the news. Dead? He thought my baby…dead? Then, the emotions came flooding in. he thought his knees would buckle on him at any moment, he wanted to crawl in the deepest hole and never come out. It was a sickening feeling, like he had just jumped off the edge of a cliff and the feeling of falling overcoming him.

Ennis managed a harsh swallow before speaking "h-h-how did…" he couldn't even say it

"We call this incident a stillborn birth" the doctor said "it seems that the umbilical cord had wrapped i'self around the baby's neck durin' the deliverance. By the time it came out, the baby had been deprived of oxygen for a long time. We tried everythin' to save it but…it was already to late". The doctor said in a flat voice, showing absolutely no remorse as if he'd been threw this a thousand times over.

Ennis's hands were shaking, he sniffed "the baby…what was it?"

"It was a girl," the doctor said.

"I wanna see her," Ennis whispered.

"I don't think that's a good idea Mr. Del Mar-"

"No" Ennis cut him off roughly "I wanna see my little girl" his voice was so full of emotion, his eyes beginning to mist up.

The doctor looked at him for a minute before nodding "n'all right" he said, "Follow me". Ennis followed the doctor down the hall, feeling like a might fall over at any moment. The doctor led him into a room where they kept all the infants. The man led him to one of the containers and Ennis saw his daughter.

She was so small, barley bigger then Ennis's arm. Her skin was pale and ashen, her eyes closed, not moving. Ennis wanted to believe she was only sleeping…but Ennis knew she wasn't. This was one sleep she would never wake up.

"Does Alma know?" Ennis said in a small voice.

"No" the doctor said "and we don't wanna tell her yet. She is very weak from the delivery and if we told her this, it may very well push her over the edge". Ennis nodded, his eyes so focused on his daughter.

"I'll leave you alone" the doctor said, walking out of the door.

Ennis lifted his hand and put it on the glass, trying to reach out for his daughter. Then, Ennis broke down. He felt his legs go and he collapsed to the ground, head buried into his chest as he sobbed, tears running freely down his face. All Ennis wanted to do was curl into a ball and never leave this room. The only thing right now he wanted was to be with his daughter. if she would have lived, Ennis would have named her Alma Jr.

* * *

That same girl who eyed Jack could be seen at every rodeo he competed in. there she was, with that red hat, looking at him intently. Jack decided to ask around who she was and eventually found out her name was Lureen Newsome. She was the daughter of some farm equipment magnate and apparently a big rodeo fan. People described her as wild and unpredictable, a real spitfire.

Jack was sitting in a bar when a waiter came over with a beer in hand. Odd Jack thought I didn't order anything.

"I didn't order anythin," Jack said.

"From the lil' lady" the guy said, cocking his head to the side. Jack saw it was Lureen, who was talking to a few folks when she saw him looking at her. Like before, she winked at him and went back to talking to her friends.

Jack reluctantly began to drink his beer. He looked over his shoulder to see Lureen walking over to him until she was next to him, one arm on the counter.

"You gonna ask me ta dance or what?" she said, a coy smile on her face.

Jack smiled "maybe" he said. Then before he knew it, Lureen grabbed his arm and pulled him onto the floor while the woman sang a slow song.

Lureen kept that same smile on as they danced, Jack with his smile. Then Lureen came close to him and tucked her head into his shoulder. In that instant, Jack flashed back to Ennis. The way he used to tuck his head into Jack's shoulder, that lopsided smile he flashed, his firm muscled body pressed against him. In that instant, Jack needed someone, needed someone so bad.

Before he knew it, he and Lureen made there way to his truck and Lureen was on top of him while Ennis still hung in his mind.

* * *

_October 11, 1965_

Ennis shuffled his way to bed. It was about twelve at after one having just return from the tire shop, exhausted from work and about ready to pass out. He walked to the bed, Alma asleep on her side. He slipped on his pajama bottoms and put on a dirty white shirt. He tried quietly to get into bed but Alma stirred behind him.

"Honey?" she said in a groggy voice.

"Ya" Ennis mumbled "sorry I woke ya".

"S'all right" she said, turning over "you know, you should really not work you'r self like this".

"Hafta" Ennis muttered, "no other way ta get by". Alma came behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest.

"Can't ya talk to the manager?" she whispered "maybe git ya off a few hours earlier? You can't keep workin' this late".

"If I do that" Ennis muttered "my pay gits docked and right now we need all the money we can git".

Alma rested her head on his shoulder "we don't really need. Jus' enough for the rent and food, that's it".

Ennis didn't speak, his eyes focused on the floor. Ennis turned to Alma and kissed her softly, and then he slowly turned around and gently pushed Alma to the bed, still kissing her. He tried to lose herself to her, to try and let go off his problems. Then, he began to slip a hand up her nightgown.

"I wanna do it" Ennis said in between a kiss.

Alma stopped and looked at him "what?" she asked.

"I wanna try…again," he said.

Alma stared at him "ya sure?" she asked. They haven't tried again to have a baby, not since they lost the first one. "We don' hafta" she continued.

"No" Ennis said, kissing her again "I wanna". Then, he kissed her hard and then he pushed into her. She gave a small gasp as he entered and he kept going, slowly at first. He was not sure entirely if he wanted to try, not after losing his daughter, he didn't want to go threw something like that ever again. Ennis continued to have his doubts all the way threw before he climaxed and collapsed on the bed.

* * *

Jack learned about Lureen's pregnancy a few months later. He hadn't seen her since that night in his truck and he hadn't seen her at the rodeo after that. He figured it had just been a one-time thing and she had forgotten about him.

Then, one day in October, she turned up again. She told Jack right up front that she was pregnant, her belly already getting big. At first, Jack was surprised at this sudden announcement but then overjoyed at the prospect of being a father. Then, in the heat of the moment, he just blurted out that they should get married. Surprisingly, Lureen agreed and a month later they were married.

Naturally, Lureen's father L.D. hated him. The fact that he got his daughter knocked up in the back of a truck and the sudden proposal gave him good enough reason. Jack stopped competing at the rodeo and Lureen got him a job working for her father where L.D. always tried to demean him but Jack held through, his focus only on the baby.

The months passed and Lureen got bigger and bigger until in early April Lureen gave birth to a seven-pound baby that they named Robert 'Bobby' Twist. Jack stood by the door way as Lureen held Bobby in her hands, a smile on her face while Fayette and L.D. stood beside her.

"Look at him" L.D. said "looks jus' like his granddaddy" he turned to Jack, a challenging look in his eyes "don' he look like his granddaddy" he said in more of a commanding voice. Jack nearly laughed at this but only managed a humorous smile and sarcastic nod.

"Twist" he said "go warm up the car for us, will ya?" he then threw Jack the keys. Jack knew he just wanted to get rid of him and be with his grandchild and to deprive Jack off being there. But Jack didn't complain, he reluctantly took the keys and walked out of the hospital to the car.

Jack started up the car and waited until Lureen and her parents came out. He thought about Ennis, wondering what he was doing. Jack had been tempted many times to simply ride up to Riverton and find Ennis and re-spark that fire they had on Brokeback. He wondered if Ennis thought about him as well. It was a dream that Jack wanted to see come true and when the opportunity came when he could see him again, he wouldn't hesitate in the bit.

* * *

_July 19, 1966_

Ennis was outside the delivery room again. Alma had gone into labor a few hours ago and as soon as he entered the hospital he was already dreading the moment the doctor came out with the horrible news he lost another kid.

Then the doctor came out and Ennis instantly shot up "how is she?" he asked "is she okay? What about the baby?"

The doctor, a middle aged woman with lank black hair, held up a hand "don't worry Mr. Del Mar, everythin' is okay. You'r wife is fine and you are the proud father of a healthy baby boy". Ennis felt his heart skip a beat and happiness flood threw him.

"R-really?" he said, his voice choking up again.

The doctor nodded "yes. Come, you can see her now". The doctor led Ennis into Alma's room. She was in the hospital bed, holding their newborn boy in her hands.

She looked up at Ennis, tears in her eyes "oh Ennis, look at him" she said "it's a miracle".

Ennis walked over and looked at his son for the first time. He felt a tear come to his eyes at the sight of him, his face so peaceful. He reached a hand down and gently stroked his son's cheek with one gnarled finger.

"Ya know, we still hafta name him" Alma said "ya got a name in mind?"

Ennis thought for a moment and then said "Jessie. Jessie Del Mar".

Alma looked at him and smiled "that's a nice name" she said "Jessie it is then". She then lightly kissed their son on the forehead.

"Ya wanna hold him?" she asked Ennis. Ennis only nodded, to overjoyed to speak. Alma handed him Jessie, Ennis carefully taking him in his arms. He was so light, his body squirming a bit, making a small gasp. Ennis broke into a smile, the world seeming to stand still as he held this small person in his hands. It was a feeling Ennis hadn't felt since those days on Brokeback.

* * *

_September 18, 1967_

Jack walked into the dealership, Lureen busily typing on her typewriter. For the entire morning, he had done nothing but sell tractors and other farm equipment at L.D's store and was coming in for break.

"Hey honey" Lureen said "rough mornin?"

"Wouldn't believe" Jack said "never made so many sells in my life, can really take it outta of a man".

"Oh Jack" Lureen said before Jack headed out of the room "daddy has an assignment for ya". Jack groaned, he hated when L.D forced him into doing his dirty work for him.

"N'all right" he said, "What is it this time?"

"Daddy needs for ya to meet with one o' his business associates up in Lander Wyoming". Jack nearly froze when he heard this. Lander he thought, that was only an hour's drive from Riverton…and Ennis.

"Really?" Jack said, keeping his voice controlled "when does he want me ta leave?"

"Next week" Lureen replied "all he wants is for ya to negotiate some sorta deal with him. Daddy 'ill explain more bout it when ya talk to him".

Jack nodded "okay" he said, "I think I can do that".

"ya sure?" Lureen asked.

"ya, I'm sure" Jack said as he walked out of the room. His chest felt light and he was suddenly full of energy again. The thought off seeing Ennis again was almost too much to bear. He had to tell him he thought he had to tell Ennis. He had waited four years for this and he was not about to let the opportunity slip from him.


	23. Chapter 23

_September 22, 1967_

* * *

Ennis walked into the house and began to take of his boots. Alma was in the kitchen, holding Jessie.

"Hey Alma" Ennis said, coming over to kiss her on the cheek "hey Jessie" he then kissed his son on the head.

"Hi Ennis" she said "good day at work?"

Ennis shrugged "s'all right".

"Here, could ya take Jessie and tuck him in? I jus' hafta finish up in here".

"Sure" Ennis said as she handed him Jessie. He took him into his room and gently placed him in his crib and pulled the blanket up to his chin. Then he walked back to Alma who was washing the dishes.

"He's asleep," he said. Alma smiled and put a dish in the pantry.

"Oh Ennis" she said "do ya know someone named a Jack?" he froze at the sound of his name. Suddenly, Ennis's heart began to race and that strange sensation crept into his body.

"Maybe" he replied "why?"

"Ya got a postcard from him" she said, handing him the card. Ennis saw the picture of Brokeback Mountain on it and felt his throat tighten. Turning the back over it read _Ennis, I'll be driving threw Riverton in few weeks. Was hoping ya wanted to meet? From Jack_. Ennis looked over, Alma was still focused on the dishes.

"Ya, I do" Ennis said, "We was fishin' buddies".

"That's nice," she said "and he's comin' over?"

"Seems that way".

"Well that's nice" Alma said, putting away another dish "when he say he's comin' over?"

"Few weeks" Ennis said. Alma nodded and put away another dish.

When Ennis left for his second job, he stopped at the post office and grabbed a postcard. He wrote on the back a simple _Hell ya_. Then he handed it over to the receptionist and drove to work.

* * *

_September 29, 1967_

Ennis felt like a little kid on Christmas morning, running downstairs and opening the presents under the tree. Today was the day Jack would be stopping by and right now Ennis was like a rocket bottle of emotions.

"So whaddya two gonna do?" Alma asked, walking into the living room where Ennis was staring intently out the window.

"Dunno" Ennis said, "Maybe go grab a beer or somethin".

"Ya sure the manager will let ya off?" Alma asked.

"Already called in" Ennis said "told him I needed the day off".

Alma shrugged "all right". She walked back into the kitchen while Ennis kept his gaze out the window, foot nervously tapping. It had been nearly four years since that summer and right now Ennis didn't know what to say to Jack when he came. Then Ennis saw a truck pull up into the driveway while the driver got out. Ennis got up and walked over and sure enough leaning against the car was Jack.

Ennis quickly headed for the door, his mind racing. Okay he thought it's been almost four years since ya saw him, whaddya say?

When Ennis opened the door and Jack saw him smiling creeping on his face all he could say was "Jack fuckin' Twist!" giving him a lop sided smile as he hurried down the steps.

Jack walked over and the two men embraced in a tight hug. Jack's scent washed over Ennis, that familiar scent he longed for, the firm muscled body against him. It was like Brokeback all over again.

"I've missed ya so much" Jack whispered in his ear

The two unlocked and Ennis looked Jack right in the eye and saw that passion. Ennis looked around a bit, then he back Jack up to the wall and kissed him hard on the lips.

It was a deep, long, passionate kiss, one that had been building for four years. Jack was grabbing fistfuls of shirt as Ennis practically dove down into his mouth. Jack backed him up, both hands on his face, and kissed him as hard. Ennis pulled Jack closer to him, trying so desperately for them to be one again. Ennis flipped Jack over to the wall and gave him another passionate kiss that told Jack how much he had missed him.

* * *

Alma saw Ennis rush past him. Friend must be here she thought as she finished scrubbing the last of the dishes.

Throwing the towel over her shoulder, she walked over to the screen door and looked down. There she saw Ennis and his friend, kissing ferociously. Alma felt her insides clench up, all the blood rush from her face, and her mind suddenly going blank.

She walked down the hall as if in a trance, feeling she might collapse at any moment before grabbing the chair for support. She felt a tear run down her cheek, quickly brushing it away.

At that moment, she felt like a small girl, lost in the world with no direction to go. She felt completely and utterly alone.

* * *

Ennis pulled away, breathing deeply, Jack still locked in his arms. He swallowed a bit, a hand passing down Jack's face.

"Hey cowboy" was all Jack could say.

"Hey" Ennis whispered back.

The two men pulled away and Ennis led him upstairs. Alma was in the kitchen, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

"Alma" Ennis said. She looked at him, her face seemed pale and her eyes were glazed over "this here's Jack Twist".

Jack tipped his hat "howdy" he said. Alma nodded curtly.

"We're headin' out fer a bit," Ennis said, grabbing his coat.

"Okay" Alma said, her voice sounding distant "how long ya gonna be out?"

"Probably late" Ennis replied.

"Bye mame" Jack said as he headed for the door.

"Ennis" Alma said before he left "where'd ya put the cigarettes?"

"Should be on top o' the fridge" Ennis replied as he opened the door.

"Ennis" Alma said.

He looked at her "ya?"

She bit her lip "I love ya".

Ennis nodded, feeling a slight pang in his heart "love ya too". Then he walked out the door and down to Jack's car.

* * *

They first went to the local bar and grabbed a few drinks. Jack told Ennis all about what has happened since they last met. How he went to Texas, joined in a rodeo, married Lureen, Bobby, his job, and L.D. then Ennis told him about his life, Alma, Jessie, work. He decided to leave out the part about his daughter.

After that, they headed off to a motel and bought a room. As soon as they walked in, Ennis pounced on Jack, shoving him right against the dresser. He immediately went for Jack's shirt, tearing it off in one swift motion. He then grabbed Jack close and kissed him hard and deep, practically trying to suck the air outta his body. Jack flipped him over and kissed him, his hand undoing Ennis's belt. He stuck his hand down and grasped Ennis's hard. Ennis felt his jaw tighten, a gasp escaping his lips, while Jack was almost devouring his neck.

Ennis pushed Jack off to the bed, quickly clambering over him, kissing him all over. Soon, both men's clothes were off and Ennis was on top of Jack, propped on his elbow and hand on the bed counter as he practically pounded into Jack. He moaned beneath him, hands grabbing at the sheets, then Ennis kissed him as he began to thrust even harder and deeper.

"Holy shit" Jack gasped threw clenched teeth. This gave Ennis almost an extra boost as he began his final stretch, going even faster and deeper, each thrust sending a quake threw his body. Then, both men felt themselves come and both kissed each other hard just when it happened. Time seemed to freeze, everything suddenly went quiet, and it was just Jack and Ennis, in this bed, with each other.

Ennis broke away, his face barley touching Jack's, eyes looking intensely into those blue eyes he'd missed. He then took Jack into his arms, never wanting to let him go, never wanting to be without him again, wanted to just melt into him and never come out. Most off all, he wanted to say how much he loved him.

* * *

"Four years, shit" Jack whispered into Ennis's ear as he lay on his chest, arm wrapped around him, cigarette in his hand.

"Ya" Ennis said, taking a drag on the cigarette "surprised me when ya sent that letter. Figured you was still sore bout that punch I gave ya".

Jack smiled and kissed Ennis on the head "couldn't stay mad at ya for that" he said.

They didn't speak for a moment, both wrapped in the moment of each other.

"I see the army didn't get ya" Ennis said, taking another drag on the cigarette.

"Naw" Jack said, "ya know me, I'm to fast for them". Ennis chuckled and took another puff.

"Ya know" Jack said, "the whole time I was away from ya, I felt a piece of me was missin".

"I hear ya" Ennis said, taking another puff "times I thought of ya and felt like I was gonna keel over".

Jack leaned his head onto Ennis's, inhaling his scent "what are we gonna do?" Jack whispered.

"Dunno" Ennis said, taking one finally smoke "only thing we can do" he put out the cigarette "we jus' have to face this thing head on. See where it takes us".

Jack held him closer "Brokeback soundin' real nice huh?" he whispered into Ennis's ear.

* * *

Alma had slept alone that night. For half the time she was awake, always thinking what her husband was doing with…that man. Her eyes were puffy when she woke the next morning, barley having the strength to get outta bed. She tended to Jessie the first morning, then she idly did some sewing, but nothing could divert her attention.

Before she knew it, she was at the table, silently crying. She heard a truck pull up. He must be back she thought. Wiping away the last of her tears, she saw Ennis walk in.

"Hey Alma" he said, kissing her on the cheek "me and Jack are headin' up ta fish for the next few days". He walked out of the room and came back with a small bag stuffed with clothes and a tackle box in hand.

"Ya sure the foreman will let ya off?" she asked.

"Well, he owes me" Ennis said "never once asked for a day off, even had me work in a blizzard once, ya remember that?" he then began to slip on his boots.

"Sure ya friend don't want any coffee?" she asked.

"He's from Texas sweaty" he replied.

"Texan's don't drink coffee?"

"I'm sayin' they drink too much of it" Ennis replied, grabbing his things "I'll be back soon, okay? Give Jessie a kiss for me" he lightly kissed her on the forehead and walked out. As soon as he left, the tears came back, flooding down her cheeks.

She walked over to the window and sees Ennis and that man get in the car and drive off, leaving Alma just standing there like a fool.

* * *

After hours of driving, Brokeback finally came into view. At once, Ennis felt like he had returned home. All the previous events of the four years didn't matter anymore and all there was now, was Brokeback and Jack. They pulled up to a cliff overlooking the river that ran threw the mountain.

"Ennis?" Jack said "whaddya ya doin?"

"Goin' for a swim," he said, "wanna join?" Jack broke into a smile and immediately opened the door. Once both were out, they began to strip of there clothes until both were naked.

"All right, on the count a three" Ennis said "one, two, three". And they both jumped. Ennis felt the exhilaration rush threw his body and then the freezing water hit him. He quickly swam to the surface, Jack a few inches away from him.

"Holy fuck!" Ennis muttered, "Shit, this is cold!"

"N-no shit" Jack chattered.

Jack then swam over to Ennis "y-ya know" he said, "There is a way to get warmer".

"Really?" Ennis said as Jack came over.

"Ya" he said, wrapping his arms around Ennis's neck. He then leaned in and kissed Ennis softly. Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack and kissed back. Suddenly, the water didn't seem cold at all anymore.

The two spent most of the day talking, drinking, and making out, sometimes a combination of the three. But mostly, just making out.

Soon it turned dark. The two men were sitting around a campfire; Ennis lying down looking at the stars while Jack sat on a log next to him.

"See anythin' up in heaven?" Jack asked.

"Naw" Ennis replied "jus' sendin' a prayer up…that ya forgot that damn harmonica of yer's" Ennis was referring to that one annoying harmonica Jack brought up and he blew into it every single night, even after the horse stepped on it and it produced a flat sound. Both men laughed at this, old memories flooding into the men as they sat there.

"Ya know it could be like this" Jack said "jus' like this always".

"Really?" Ennis said, still staring at the stars.

"Whaddya say we set ourselves up a little ranch" Jack said "ya know, have ourselves a horse and cattle operation, it be a sweet life".

"Uh" Ennis said, sitting up "I already told ya Jack, it ain't gonna be like that".

"Why the hell not?" Jack said.

"Cause Jack" Ennis said, "Two men, livin' with each other…cause nothin' but trouble. Besides, you have you'r life in Childress, with ya wife and son and I got mine in Riverton, with my wife and son".

Jack nodded "ya, cause ya love Alma so much".

"Hey you shut up bout Alma" Ennis said "this ain't her fault, none o' this is her fault".

Ennis paused "when I was little, there were these two old guys who lived outsida town. Tough old birds if there ever was some. Anyway, it was rumored that they were queer. So one day, they managed to corner one of the guys. My daddy took me and my brother to see his corpse".

"Ya saw this?" Jack asked.

"Ya, when I was about nine, I think," Ennis said, "Anyway, a bunch o' men heated up their tire irons and jumped him while he was alone. He'd been beaten real bad, fractured his skull. Then they wrapped razor wire around his shaft and dragged him around till his dick tore clean off. My daddy made sure we seen it so we'd never turn out like that. Sure as hell worked". Ennis paused a bit, the image of the dead man creeping into his mind

"Two men livin' together" Ennis continued, "can get themselves killed. All I know is if this thing, grabs hold of us, in public, at the wrong place…at the wrong time. And we're dead". Jack nodded, disappointment on his face.

"I mean, we can do it way the hell out here, in the middle of nowhere" Ennis continued "but other then that…"

"Out here huh?" Jack said, "every four fuckin' years?"

"I ain't sayin' that Jack" Ennis said "I'm jus' sayin, like once every while we can come up here…I dunno, two, maybe three times a year". Jack was obviously let down by this, the fact off having only to see Ennis two times of the year for just a few days must be killing him.

Ennis lay back down, staring up at the stars "sure is nice out here" he said almost to himself.

"Ya" Jack said, getting up from the log and bending down to Ennis "sure is". He then kissed him and suddenly the discussion from before didn't matter anymore.

They spent another two days up on the mountain before deciding it was time to head back home. They packed up their cars, that familiar feeling Ennis felt when they left each other the first time.

"So" Jack said, walking over "I'll uh…see ya in a few months?"

Ennis nodded "ya" he said. Jack stepped forward and embraced him, before pulling back a bit and kissing Ennis. Then, he pulled away, smiled and headed to his car. However, Ennis saw in Jack's eyes just how much it was hurting for him to leave and go back to Childress. It was the same feeling Ennis felt as well.

* * *

_August 2, 1969 _

Ennis had made it pretty clear to Jack that he didn't wanna start a life with him. It was for his own protection he thought so nothing bad happened to him. However, as time past by Ennis began to think about the idea more and more.

After the trip they took back in 67, Ennis barley gave Jack's proposal a second thought. He probably once thought about it but that was only for a fraction of a second until he quickly rebuffed it and didn't think of it again.

However, after the second trip up to Brokeback in early May of 68, Ennis began to think more of the idea of him and Jack having a life. It became sorta like a newly planted seed and over time, it got bigger and bigger and bigger until finally the flower opened up and the seed had been sown.

After their third trip in October of 68, the idea of being away from Jack just didn't suit Ennis. He wanted him always, he wanted to wake up to him every morning, he wanted to be able to talk to him al the time, but most of all he just wanted to be with him.

However, as this idea of Jack's seemed to grow more and more for Ennis, his marriage with Alma was beginning to deteriorate. She soon became more guarded around Ennis, colder, and less and less supportive of him. She began to fight Ennis more on things, things that in the past would have been insufficient.

One night, conflicts suddenly boiled over and for Ennis and Alma, it would soon be the beginning of the end.

It was mid May, Ennis had only gotten back from his trip with Jack only hours ago. She was sitting at her rocking chair, knitting away while Ennis sat on the couch watching some movie on the TV. Jessie was on the floor, idly pushing his toy truck back and forth.

"So how did the trip go?" Alma said flatly.

"S'okay" Ennis muttered.

Alma knitted a few more rows "ya didn't bring back any fish…again" she said.

"Sorry" he replied, "jus' weren't bitin".

"Well then, I say it was a waste" she said, "ya should be concentratin' more on work then some fishin' trip".

"I already got a job," he grumbled.

"ya, after ya lost you'r job at the plant and tire store" she said curtly "now ya workin' at that dilapidate old ranch, all because of that stupid trip".

"I don' see ya tryin' to get a job" Ennis growled.

"Because no one's hirin" she shot back "I woulda still have had my job at the grocers but you wouldn't let me".

"Cause ya need to take care of Jessie" he shot back.

"We could have hired a sitter" she said.

"That costs money," Ennis said.

"I coulda jus' drop him off at my sisters if someone order me not ta" she growled.

"Ya know how I feel bout her" Ennis said.

"Oh what, jus' because she don't like ya?" she shot back "maybe if she didn't think you were some dead beat dad who can't hold a job".

"First off" he said "she don' know nothin' bout me and second who is she to be givin' out advice ta? She doesn't even have kids of her own and every man she's ever had has left her".

Alma angrily threw down her knitting "that's it, I can't deal with this tonight" she said getting up.

"Where the hell ya goin?" Ennis said angrily.

"To bed" she barked back "you can sleep on the couch".

"Oh what?" Ennis said, now yelling "jus' because I told the truth about ya sister? I support my kid Alma and ain't no way that controlin' bitch gonna tell me otherwise!" he heard her angrily slam the door behind her.

Ennis was breathing heavily, anger coursing threw his veins. He looked down to see Jessie staring at him, and then he went back to his toy truck.

After that, things just went from bad to worse. The fighting got more frequent, they began to talk less and less to each other, and most of the nights the slept on opposite sides of the bed never touching one another.

Ennis was right now driving up to Brokeback, he and Alma having just another fight when he left. She said he should be focusing more on supporting his family then going on a fishing trip. Ennis retorted something real fowl to her, something he wasn't about to repeat anytime soon. Once again, Jack's idea for a life together came into his mind. Maybe Ennis thought maybe it could work out. But, could I do it? He thought.

As much as the idea was tempting, Ennis just couldn't bear to leave Jessie behind. Even if Alma and him got a divorce, most likely custody for Jessie would go to Alma, leaving him just weekends and holidays to see his son. Ennis couldn't live with himself not being in his son's life. And even if Jack and him did do it, there was always the possibility of discovery and people coming at them with tire irons in hand. And even so, what if they couldn't even manage to make there dream life come true? What if it all blew up in their faces and they ended up living on the street or some run down trailer barley scraping by on minimum wage.

But then again, they'd still have each other. As the mountain came into view, Ennis summed up all the thinking he had done. Can I really do it? He thought, leave behind my old life and start anew? With…or without Jessie?

* * *

**Authors note: whoa everyone, I just realized I've spent two chapters on Ennis and Jack's past. I guess its gonna take me a bit longer before I can finish up the first half. Sorry about using scenes from the movie, seemed the only way to keep the plot going. Keep reviewing people!**


	24. Chapter 24

Ennis paused for a bit, Jess staring at the ground. He was rubbing his knuckles together, foot tapping nervously. He took a breath before speaking.

"I-I had a sister?" he asked.

Ennis nodded, feeling an old wound open up "ya, you did".

"She never told me that," he said.

"Guess the memory was too much fer her to bear" Ennis said. Then, Ennis heard the shuffling of footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Come on Ennis!" Jack cried "what the hell ya doin? Don't tell me that-" but Jack stopped when he entered the room and saw Jess and Ennis sitting there.

"Oh" he said, worry crossing his face "I…ain't interuptin' anythin?"

"Ya, kinda" Ennis said, getting up "look, can ya hold down the ranch for a bit longer?" Jack gave him a questioning look but then he saw the message in Ennis's eyes saying it was important.

Jack nodded "n'all right" he said "um, jus' come on down when yer done". Jack gave a weak smile before turning around and heading back down the stairs.

Ennis looked over to see Jess getting up "I need a glass of water" he said. Ennis nodded, Jess then got up and walked for the door before stopping. He then turned around and grabbed the postcard off the bed and headed over to the cabinet. He then tacked it back on, adjusted it slightly, and then walked out of the room while Ennis followed behind. Once in the kitchen, Jess got himself water from the sink and sat down at the table.

"So" Jess said, taking a sip of water "you were saying about the Brokeback trip?"

Ennis sat down and rubbed his head "let see now…where was I? Oh right. Well, I had been thinkin' long and hard about Jack's idea…"

* * *

_August 2, 1969_

Ennis pulled up to a parking spot where another truck had already parked before him. He grabbed the tackle box and walked down the path until he came to the campsite where Jack had already prepped the ten and was beginning to make the food.

"Hey there cowboy" Jack said, a huge smiling breaking out "ya late".

"Sorry" Ennis said "got caught up in traffic".

"What traffic?" Jack said, a coy smile "there ain't anyone up here!"

"Oh hush Jack" Ennis said, playfully shoving him.

For the next two days, Ennis tried to sort out his intentions. He had been thinking about the pros and cons of him and Jack living together. He started with the cons first. For one, he might hardly see Jessie again, the possibility of discovery, their future blowing up in their faces, money, a house, and the possibilities kept going on. Then, he thought of the pros. Being with Jack always, not like a few days up in the mountains, but always with each other. Being happy for the first time in a long time, the chance to actually live life, and…and…that was it. That was all Ennis could think off. Three things of why he should go and nearly hundreds of reasons why he shouldn't. And yet, it seemed that those three things outweighed everything else.

Ennis woke to sunlight streaming in threw the tent flaps. It was their final day before they would have to leave each other again. He held Jack close in his arms, his naked body pressed against him. Ennis always felt whole whenever he held Jack and when he was away, it seemed like a part of him was violently torn away. It could be like this always he thought waking up to each other like this.

Once Jack woke, they began to pack up their things. Ennis mind was so far in a tug of war with each other. One side of his brain was his usual rough inside voice saying _don't ya think about it, you know what will happen if ya two lived with each other_. Then, there was the other voice. This one was a more soft voice with just a hint of silkiness and lust _ya know ya wanna, all ya have ta do is ask. And you two will be with each other…forever_. Both voice kept on whispering in Ennis's mind, never letting up, never backing down, and both trying to win over Ennis's heart.

The two men soon got their stuff gathered and were now packing it all in the backs of their trunks. Jack came over, that same look he always got whenever they left. His face had a smile but his eyes shown nothing but sadness.

"So" he said "see ya in a few months?"

_Ask him_ said the silky voice

_Don't ya do it _said the rough voice.

"Ya" Ennis said. Jack smiled wider, then stepped forward and embraced Ennis, then giving him a soft kiss on the lips. He then pulled away and began to walk to his truck. At this point, both voice now had grown louder and louder until they were practically yelling at one another.

_Don't ya do it! You both will get killed! You ain't a queer!_ Yelled the rough voice.

_You love him! Don't let him go! You can be happy for the first time in you'r life! _Yelled the silky voice.

_It will never work!_

_You will be with him!_

_It ain't right!_

_Its all for love!_

_Don't ya say it!_

_Just do it! What's the worse that can happen?_

_No!_

_Yes!_

Ennis felt like his head was going to explode from it all. He just wanted to beat his head and tell them to shut up, to just leave him be. Then, in that instant something came over Ennis. He silenced out the voices, planted his feet before saying.

"Jack" he said. He stopped and turned to look at Ennis.

"Ya?" he said "what is it?"

Ennis bit his lip, his fingers drumming at his side, and then he took one footstep forward. It felt like he was walking threw mud, each step feeling heavier then the last.

"Um" Ennis tried to say "I uh, I uh…been thinkin".

"Thinkin' bout what?" Jack asked, a prick of curiosity in his eyes.

"Um, well uh" Ennis felt like his tongue had been stung by hundreds of bees, his heart was racing at a thousand miles an hour, and a slight prickly sensation began to creep down his body.

"Well come on" Jack said "out with it".

"Hmgp, right" Ennis grumbled, "Well, um, I've been thinkin…" He swallowed hard, this was going to be tougher then he thought.

"I don' wanna be without ya Jack" Ennis finally said "I…want ya to be with me forever…I love ya". There, he just said it. He'd never uttered those three words before to Jack, never having the courage to do so. Until now that is.

Jack looked at him, his eyes wide in shock, mouth slightly going open "w-what?" he said, like he just couldn't believe it.

"I said" Ennis now being more assured of his words "I love ya Jack fuckin' Twist…and I wanna be with ya".

Jack could only gap in astonishment "ar-are ya sayin…do ya really?" Jack shook his head a bit, getting his words straight.

"Are ya sayin' that" he tried again "you wanna go threw with it? A life together?"

Ennis nodded solemnly "ya" he said, "Ya, I do".

Jack's eyes began to water and then he huge grin slowly crept across his face. Then, he suddenly gave a shout of joy and threw himself at Ennis, practically knocking him over. As Jack laughed harder, the tears started to pour down, arms locked tight around Ennis as he was slowly dragged to the ground.

"All right all right" Ennis said, not helping but to laugh as well "now get off me, ya weigh a ton".

Jack laughed even harder, then slowly got off him, wiping the tears off his eyes.

"Sorry" he said "I'm jus' so god damn happy, I could jus-" but Jack didn't finish, instead he just planted the hardest and deepest kiss he could on Ennis's lips. Ennis also kissed back, overwhelmed also by the news.

Then, Jack pulled away and hauled him to his feet and opening Ennis's side door. He then pushed Ennis in and clambered over him, kissing him ferociously, working on his belt buckle. Ennis grabbed the back of his head and swung him over until he was on top, kissing him back. He then quickly undid Jack's belt, pulled his pants down and shoved in, Jack giving a low growl of pleasure.

The two went at it for almost an hour straight, both so overwhelmed with joy that they felt they could go on forever. Ennis gave one final push before he climaxed and then pulled out and flopped on his back. Jack lay next to him, both were panting; each glistening with sweat, then Jack laid on Ennis's chest.

"I hope ya didn't lie bout a life together jus' for that," Jack said jokingly.

"Wouldn't dream of it" Ennis said.

* * *

After the amazing sex, both Jack and Ennis began to discuss plans on how they were gonna get started. It was obvious they'd have to tell Lureen and Alma before anything was to be done. And both knew that was going to be difficult. They decided to not worry about anything else until they could settle things first at home.

Ennis was already dreading the conversation he'd have with Alma. Both were as rocky as can be as it was but how would she respond once he told her this? The entire drive back to Riverton he tried to think about what he would say to her. Alma, we need to talk…Alma, there's something I have to tell you…Alma, I need to tell ya something about Jack…all sounded wrong. God he thought how am I gonna go threw with this?

Before he knew it, he had drove up the apartment driveway and the conversation he'd been dreading since Brokeback was only minutes away. He swallowed his fears and got out of the car, making his way up the steps, the sound of his footsteps making louder then usual sounds. Maybe he was just imagining things.

He opened the door. No one in the kitchen. Looking at the clock, it was about eight to nine. Did she already turn in? He thought. Then he walked into the living room and saw Alma sitting in her chair, knitting.

"You'r back" she said coldly "how was the trip?"

Ennis shuffled his feet "was fine" he said.

"Did ya catch anythin' this time?" Ennis shook his head. Alma furrowed her brow and went back to knitting, saying something under her breath.

"What, were they not catchin' this time either?" she said crossly.

"Look Alma" he said "there's…um well, I need ta…its-"

Alma put down her knitting in frustration "what Ennis? What is it?" agitation in her voice.

"Its, um, about Jack".

Suddenly, her face went stone white and her eyes seemed to glaze up "w-what about him?" she said, voice wavering a bit.

Ennis gulped nervously "there's, somethin' I hadn't told ya…bout him".

"What?" she said, her voice getting weaker.

Ennis was sweating again, nervous drops running down his forehead. His hands were shaking and his stomach was now doing summersaults.

"What Ennis?" she said again. Ennis tried to put the words together but they fell apart while getting out of his mouth, turning instead into mumbling, disjointed words.

"What Ennis!" she said, her voice now yelling, "what is so god damn important about him!"

"I love him!" Ennis suddenly said, the words just tumbling out of his mouth. Alma suddenly went rigid; her face was now chalky white, lip trembling. Ennis felt as though the weight of all the secrecy he kept from her had been lifted but that was replaced by the growing adhesion of what she would say next.

She slowly got up, her arms and knees shaking "you-you what?" she said, her voice sounding contractive and strained.

"I said I loved him".

Alma looked as though someone had just punched her in the face, her face began to screw up and soon she was crying. Sobs escaped from her throat and her body was raked in convulsions.

"Alma" Ennis said, his voice low "I never meant ta hurt ya-"

"Get out" she suddenly hissed "get out of my house! Right now!"

"Alma please" he tried to say, "don't make this-".

"I said get out!" she yelled, pushing Ennis "how could ya do this to me? To you'r son? You bastard, I hate ya!" she pushed Ennis again, her face now streaming with tears.

"I never wanna see ya again!" she yelled "I don't want ya comin' here ever again, I don't want ya near my family, and I especially don't want ya near Jessie!" this hit Ennis like a gut punch, it was the thing he'd been fearing most.

"Now get out!" she pushed him again "get out now!" she then began to pound on Ennis as she forced him to the door. He grabbed his jacket and keys and made his way for the door, Alma screaming behind.

He headed down the stairs while Alma continued to yell "you'r gonna burn Ennis Del Mar! You'r gonna burn in the fires of hell!" he quickly got into the car, started her up and quickly drove out. Then, just as he pulled out of the driveway, he broke into tears as well. I fucked up he thought I fucked up bad. He eventually stopped the truck and just slumped his head on the steering wheel, letting the tears wash down his face.

* * *

Jess gulped down the last of his water and gently placed his empty glass on the table. Ennis sat there, stone face, eyes misty. He had finished telling Jess about how he told his mom about him and Jack. As he explained it, his voice began to catch a lot and his fingers quivered a bit. It was a tough memory to dig up.

Both of them didn't speak for awhile. All the things Ennis had told him were still reeling in his mind. As much as it pained him to hear the story of Ennis and Jack, he knew that it was necessary.

Then Jess spoke "and then ya left us" he said softly "and never looked back".

"That ain't true" Ennis said, "I tried to contact ya every year but…you'r ma wouldn't allow it. I sent ya presents every Christmas and birthday…guess ya didn't get them". Jess only shook his head.

"Then" Ennis said, "one day, I called ya up again and the operator said the phone line had been disconnected. I then headed over to ya ma's house to find it empty" Ennis paused "and…I never heard from you or Alma ever again until just a month ago".

Ennis shifted a bit "when they called me, they told me ya changed you'r name ta Jessie Bears".

"I legally changed it when I was twelve" Jess said "it was the final thing I could think of to cut ya off from my life forever". Ennis only nodded and once again the sobering silence penetrated the room.

"So, how did ya manage to get this place?" Jess asked.

"Actually" Ennis said "we got it from Lureen".

Jess looked at him, confused "pardon?"

"It was decided" Ennis said "that in Jack's divorce, Lureen would keep the house and all possessions in it while Jack was given full custody over Bobby and a ten thousand dollar divorce settlement".

"Why did she give him that?" Jess asked. If someone had did that to him, he would make sure they got absolutely nothing.

"Lureen only saw it fair" he said "if her son was to live with Jack, he would need a roof over his head, so she gave him the ten thousand to buy up a house. We eventually found this place, real cheap and just in our price range to get the business started. It was a rough two years but we eventually evened out". Jess nodded, his finger swirling around the glasses rim.

"Why didja wanna hear bout Jack and me?" Ennis asked.

Jess stopped "because revenge is like a poison" he said "it can turn ya into something your not, something ugly". The silence came into the room again. Jess took his empty glass and walked over to the sink, putting his glass in. he turned around to face Ennis

"I'll never forgive you for leavin' us" Jess said. Ennis looked at him, eyes solemn.

"But" Jess said, "Ya left for love. So, I guess…to a fault, I can forgive ya". Jess felt as though a huge wall had suddenly broken down, all the pieces falling silently to the ground for what he said.

"I don't know what ya see in him" Jess continued "but whatever it is, it must be something special" he paused for a moment "everyone has have someone" he said in a whisper.

He then walked over and knelt down, then Jess gave Ennis a soft hug.

"Thanks for the talk dad" he whispered.

* * *

When Jess whispered this in his ear, Ennis felt a sudden surge of warmth and happiness course threw him. For the first time, Jess had actually called him dad. And for the first time, he actually said something that was sincere. No barbed comments, no snarl in his voice, no cocky attitude, no poison-licked comments, just a simple show of affection to Ennis that he hadn't seen since he was only three.

He felt a tear slide down his cheek.

In Ennis's life, he felt like he had only done two things right. The first was taking that job up at Brokeback and the second was the day he agreed to start this life with Jack. This life that had been filled with ups and downs.

And now, Ennis felt like he had just done the third right thing in his life. It became official when Jess actually hugged him and thanked him for the first time since being here. It may have only been a small simple gesture but to Ennis, it seemed as though it was the biggest event in recent history.

But the best part was, for the first time, he had actually broken threw Jess's armor. Now he believed, he was his father.

* * *

Jess then pulled away "I'm going upstairs to take a nap" he said "is that all right?"

"Uh, ya" Ennis said, "ya, I think Jack and me can handle things".

Jess nodded, got up and walked to the stairs.

"Jess" Ennis said.

He looked back "ya?" he said.

Ennis looked like he was about to say something but he bit it back. Instead he said "thanks".

Jess looked at him, his eyes no longer hard, and face no longer angry. Instead, he stared at Ennis and said "no problem". Then he turned around and headed to his room.

* * *

**Authors note: okay, guess it won't take longer then I thought. All right everyone; the next chapter will be the last in the fall part. Then I will contemplate what will happen in the winter part. Thanks ya'll. Keep reviewing.**


	25. The Story

**Authors note: this chapter is inspired by the Brandi Carlile song "The Story". This will officially be the last chapter in the fall part before I begin on the winter part. The reason I choose this song is because Brandi is Carlile is such an amazing artist who provides aching lyrics and a powerful voice. This song can be implied to anyone's life and for me; I think it is a perfect way to end the fall part. So, enjoy.**

* * *

_All of these lines across my face_

_Tell you the story of who I am_

Ennis watched until Jess disappeared upstairs. He then got up, took his hat, slipped on his boots, and walked outside. As he walked down the porch, he couldn't help but look back at the house, then slowly surveyed the rest of the place.

I actually have all of this he thought I just can't believe I do. Maybe it came from telling Jess about him and Jack or maybe it was just a spring of the moment thing. But whatever it was, he couldn't help but think how beautiful the place was.

_So many stories of where I've been_

_And how I got to where I am_

Jess collapsed onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. I can't believe I actually did that Jess thought. After years of swearing he'd never meet his father and after nearly a month of trying to simply cut him away from his life, all the changed with that talk. That long, painful talk.

And surprisingly, Jess was glad he actually talked to Ennis. Glad they got everything out. Maybe Jess didn't understand fully why Ennis fell in love with Jack but at least now, he had some sort of understanding of what they may be.

_But these stories don't mean anything_

_When you've got no one to tell them to, it's true_

Ennis saw Jack finishing up putting the cows back in their pen. He slipped off the horse, tethered it, and walked over to Ennis.

"So" Jack said, "what happened?"

"We had a talk," Ennis said.

"Bout what?"

"Us"

Jack looked at him in surprise "and…he actually let ya?"

Ennis nodded "ya, surprised me myself".

"Well, how did it go?"

Ennis smiled "good".

This caused Jack to burst into a smile. Then he stepped forward and embraced Ennis in one of their rough hugs. Ennis hugged back, letting his head slump into the nuke of Jack's shoulder, letting himself float away into his arms, the rest of the world oblivious to him.

_I was made for you_

* * *

_September 17, 1969 _

_I climbed across the mountaintops_

_Swam all across the ocean blue_

Today was the day the Jack, Ennis, and Bobby were to move into their new home in Shattuck Oklahoma. He had been living in the motel for the past month now while his divorce from Lureen became final and he was so thankful he wouldn't wake up to the horrible smell of the motel room ever again.

Lureen was waiting outside, Bobby at her side, Jack's car already packed. Lureen nodded to him as he came out. She then knelt down and looked at Bobby.

"You be good now with you'r daddy okay?" she said in her emotionless voice.

Bobby nodded. Lureen gave a small smile then gave Bobby a hug before pulling away.

"I trust you have everythin' sorted out there?" she asked.

Jack nodded "yep, all that's left is to pick up Ennis". Lureen's cheek twitched at the sound of his name.

"Well" she said, "have a safe trip". Jack nodded, picked up the last of his suitcase and put it in the trunk. He then got into the car, Bobby strapped down next to him in the passengers seat. Then, he started the car and drove out of the motel parking lot. Before he left, he saw Lureen in his side mirror, a silhouette against the sun. Then as he made a turn, she disappeared.

_I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules_

_But baby I broke them all for you_

Ennis knocked on the door and waited until Alma appeared. She was stone faced, eyes hard and imposing. He had already called her to tell he was getting his things and leaving. She reluctantly agreed but told him to make it quick.

He silently walked passed her and headed for there room. He packed all his things in his small suitcase, his shirts, pants, boxers, and toothbrush, everything that was his. Then he snapped his suitcase shut and then walked over to Jess's room. He knelt down to where his son was sleeping and gently kissed him on the head.

Alma appeared at the door. Ennis pulled away and walked out of the room, taking a seat at the kitchen table. Waiting for Jack.

_Because even when I was flat broke_

_You made me feel like a million bucks, you do_

Jack soon came to the Riverton city limits. Ennis had already told him he would wait at Alma's before he came.

"Daddy" Bobby said, "Were are we goin?"

"Pickin' up Ennis" Jack said, "then headin' to our new home".

"Where's that?" Bobby asked.

"Shattuck" he replied.

"Is it big there?"

"Not really".

"Will it be like mommy's house?"

"No".

"Then what's so special about it?"

Jack laughed, "Oh, you'll see bud". Soon the laundromat came into view.

_I was made for you_

Ennis heard the sound of a truck pull up into the driveway. He walked over to the window to see Jack's truck just pulled up.

"That him?" Alma said coldly.

"Ya" Ennis said. He walked over and grabbed his suitcase. Ennis slowly looked around the old apartment realizing this may be the last time he'd ever see it. This may be the last time he'd see his son. His heart began to ache.

"Ennis" Alma said, "I think ya should be goin" she said in a hard voice.

Ennis nodded and began to walk to the door, Alma keeping it propped open. As he passed her, he could feel her hate and sadness radiate out of her. He also felt those eyes on him, never looking away as he descended the stairs, the sound of his footsteps seemingly louder at this point.

Jack got out of the truck and walked over to Ennis who put his bag in the backseat. Right now, Ennis was so scared. As soon as he got in this car, there would be no turning back. As soon as he left, he would be opened to an uncertain future one that could end in either failure or success. It was something he wasn't used to, always looking for a clear path to follow. With Alma, he had that clear path but now he traveled another road, one that had far to many sharp turns for his liking. One that could turn on him at any moment. He felt Jack put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He turned to face him, Jack's eyes comforting him. But even as he looked into those big blue eyes, the swirl of uncertainty still swam in him.

Am I making the right decision? Ennis thought.

_You see the smile that's on my mouth_

_It's hiding the words that don't come out_

Ennis gave a weak smile. Jack could sense how Ennis was feeling right now. He was scared too, scared that maybe this wouldn't work, scared that they both have made a mistake, but what he was most scared was if Ennis left him to come back here. That was one thing he hoped to never happen.

"Nervous?" Jack said. Ennis only nodded. "Don't worry" Jack said, "I'm nervous too. All we have to do is just keep our heads up and hope for the best".

Ennis nodded again.

_And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed_

_They don't know my head is a mess_

"I jus" Ennis tried to say "I jus…don't want all o' this to be for nothin, ya hear?"

Jack nodded "its gonna be tough" he said "but if it is, I would love ta go threw it with ya".

"Ain't ya the sweet talker," Ennis said, a smile creeping on his mouth.

Jack laughed a little. Ennis glanced sideways to see Alma watching him still, her eyes now dark pits in her face. Don't worry Jessie he thought I will come and see ya, I swear. I won't ever be out of your life.

"So" Ennis said "think we should git goin?"

Jack nodded "yep, seems like it".

"How long's the drive?" he asked.

"Dunno" Jack said "maybe…eleven hours or so, giver take".

"Well" Ennis said "then we should get started". He gave Jack one more smile and headed to his car.

_No they don't know who I really am_

_And they don't know what I've been through like you do_

Ennis got into the car and started it up. He looked out the window and saw Jack looking at him, the look on his face saying ready to go cowboy? Ennis gave him a look that said as ready as I'll ever be. Then Jack started up the car and pulled out of the driveway, Ennis right behind him.

As he drove out of Riverton, Jack's car in front off him, he felt as though parts of him were slowly falling off. Parts that were off his old life, each one being replaced by something else that would be the start of a new life for him.

Maybe I don't have all the answers Ennis thought but that's life for ya, answers never come clear. Soon, he was out of Riverton city limits and on the open road following the truck in front off him.

Jack he thought I swear…

_And I was made for you…_

* * *

Jess woke up. Must have fallen asleep somehow he thought. He got up and looked out of the window to see nighttime was coming. He got out off bed and headed downstairs. He saw the TV was on in the living room, Ennis on the couch watching something.

Jess stopped where he was. Ennis turned at the sound of him and both of their eyes met. Both weren't sure what to do. Now that they were on a different level with one another, they didn't know how to react with one another.

_All of these lines across my face_

_Tell you the story of who I am_

Jess shifted his body a bit, his face expressionless. What do I say? He thought what do I say? Jess couldn't think of anything. For the first time in his life, he didn't know what to say.

Seeing there was nothing else he could do, Jess gave a small shrug and walked over to the couch and took a seat next to Ennis.

_So many stories of where I've been_

_And how I got to where I am_

Ennis had been watching the news when he heard Jess come downstairs. He turned at the sound of him and both men locked eyes with one another, both unsure of what to say. This is it Ennis thought this is the moment I know if my talk did anything to this kid. Almost involuntary, he thought Jess was just going to walk into the kitchen or head outside.

He didn't except it when Jess walked over and sat down next to him on the lumpy couch. And when he did, Ennis didn't feel any tension in the room. Hostility was gone, the angry stare didn't glare out at him, and for once it seemed that Jess actually wanted to do something with Ennis.

_But these stories don't mean anything_

_When you got no one to tell them too, its true_

_I was made for you…_

They didn't speak to one another. They simply sat on the couch and watched what was happening in the news. It was a comfortable silence, both feeling no words needed to be said. Jess wanted to make his actions clear. He was saying hi dad, mind if I watch TV with ya?

And Jess was pretty sure Ennis's answer was, n'all right but there ain't anythin' good on.

Jess would shrug, any news is good news.

As he watched the anchorman deliver the news, Ennis right beside him, Jess began to think. So he thought this is what its like to have a dad.

Its okay…I guess he thought.

Well, maybe okay isn't the word he thought.

This is…nice.

And for the first time since he'd ever been in the house, he gave a smile. He glanced sideways and saw Ennis was looking at him. But then he went back to watching the TV.

Did I just imagine that? Jess thought did he actually see that?

He shrugged. Oh well, who cares…its only a smile.

_Oh yeah and its true…that I was made…for you…_

* * *

**Authors note: well, there it is. The final chapter in the fall part. I will now take this time to think about what I will do in the winter part. Thank you to all who reviewed, much help indeed, and please keep them coming.**

**Until then, see ya'll later.**


	26. Winter: Chapter 25

**Authors note: hey everyone. So, I guess when I said I would take time off to think of the next part…I guess it was shorter then I thought. But I will have to say; I won't be posting up chapters like once every day. I don't know if I was on speed or something but I can't believe I managed 25 chapters in just three weeks. So, I'm thinking maybe just one chapter a week for now on. So, here you guys go, the long awaited (sorry, had to say that) first chapter of the winter part. Enjoy everyone!**

* * *

October 30, 1982 

Can we change? Can people change?

That is a question I've been asking myself ever since that talk with Ennis. Looking back on some of the first entries in this supposed journal, I could see just how angry I was at them. At Ennis, Jack, Bobby, everyone. But now, it seems that anger has ebbed away. It first ebbed away when I met Lois, it then faded more with my trip to Lureen's, and finally it seemed to all but disappear with that talk.

Can we change? Not really, not entirely. I mean I don't act like I used to toward the three. I don't insult them, yell at them, call them fags, or any of the other stuff I used to do back when I first came here. But, it isn't like I've made friends with them. It seems as though there's still this armor around me, this armor that won't let anyone threw. Its like I distance myself from them, never letting them see any of my emotions, this enigma of a person. It was only a few days ago when I realized that I had turned into Lureen. Disjointed from the world, an expressionless being, business like demure, and most of all not letting myself be close to people.

Well, except Lois. That I can admit. I'm not like that with her, never. She is my best friend, the only one I have in this town. I'm not ready to mess up that one true relation I have.

So, can people change? I don't have the answer just yet but if I could say right now, it would be yes…and no.

* * *

Jess cracked one tired eye open. He brought up his hand and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. A large boom sounded from outside, instantly waking Jess up. He grumbled under his breath in frustration.

"Damn workers" he thought.

In mid September, Jack and Ennis began to finalize their plans of expanding the farm. They already hired workers to expand on the ranch, got a few ranch hands from town, met with some small ranch owners, and already began shipping in more livestock. Sure, it meant cutting back on a lot off resources like food, clothing, and all that sort off stuff. But Jess was fine with that, it kinda reminded of living back in New York with his mom, cutting back on resources just to get by. So for Jess, it was no big problem.

He slipped on one of his faded, baggy jeans and one of his many band t-shirts (Earth, Wind & Fire). He then walked down the hall to the bathroom and smoothed out his shot spiky brown hair, brushed his teeth, and headed downstairs.

Bobby was already in the kitchen, eating some leftover eggs and bacon, Jack and Ennis were nowhere to be seen.

"Morning" Bobby said.

"Morning" Jess replied, walking over to the extra coffee.

He began pouring his cup when he asked, "Where's Jack and Ennis?" he said.

"Outside" Bobby said, "talking to the workers and stuff".

Jess took a sip of his coffee and nodded. "Why?" Bobby asked.

Jess shrugged "just need to talk to them".

"Bout?"

"Nothing Bobby" he replied "just things". He didn't push the subject any further. Jess finished up his coffee, put his mug in the sink, and headed for the door. He walked out and the sounds of construction hit his ears. Trucks carrying wood passed by, power drills were going off, and the pounding of hammers rang across the property.

He made his way to the ranch, walking past workers as he went. Then, a long wooden rafter suddenly appeared. Jess ducked just before it hit him.

"Watch it Bryce!" he said, referring to a burly looking thirty-year-old man.

"Sorry Jess" he said.

"You seen Jack and Ennis?" he asked.

"Probably talkin' to Dan," he replied. Dan was the main worker in charge of expanding the ranch, a man somewhere in his forties with graying brown hair.

"Thanks" he then turned and headed for the stables.

* * *

Ennis had been nothing but a ball of stress for the past few weeks now. It first came in once he and Jack finalized plans to expand the ranch, it then escalated when they realized just how much they would have to pay, then it reached its height once they began branching out to other small ranches. Ennis knew it would be tough but he didn't except it to be this tough.

"So Dan" he said "how's it goin' on the second stable?"

"It's comin' along fine" replied Dan "we jus' finished the outline of the place and are puttin' on the final wood work. Once that's done, all we hafta do is expand the barn, finish the cows pen, and tighten up a few of the loose ends and we should be done".

"And when do ya think that may be?" Ennis asked.

"If we keep this up" he said "at the speed we're goin', we should be able to finish up 'fore the cold sets in. lets jus' hope we do".

"Same here" Ennis replied.

"There you are Ennis!" Jack said as he came running up behind him.

"Jesus Jack" he said, "what is it?"

"Need talk ta ya" Jack replied.

"Right" he turned to Dan "is that it?"

"Pretty much" Dan said, "well, I leave ya two to yer business, I gotta go check on my staff". He then turned and headed off.

He then turned to Jack "what is it?"

"Well" Jack said "jus' wanted ta let ya know our shipment of cattle just came in and you know that Luke who runs that ranch out in Kellyville?"

"Ya"

"Well, he jus' called us and says he wants ta spark up an arrangement with us".

"Really?" Ennis said "that's great. How many is that now?"

"Well, if ya count the three we already have in partnerships and the other five waiting to discuss a partnership, then I say nine". This was great news. If the more ranches began signing up for partnership, that mean their plans for expanding were working. This helped ease Ennis's stress full mind a bit but they were still not out of the clear just yet. it wouldn't be until they hear how much of a profit they pulled will it then be time to celebrate.

"And, there's somethin' else" Jack said.

"Ya? What?" Ennis asked.

"Well come on, let me show ya" Jack then grabbed Ennis's hand and led him down to there newly built office area near the house.

"Come on Jack" Ennis said, pulling his hand away "not in public".

"Oh Ennis, quit worryin" Jack said as they entered threw the wooden doors. Jack threw the door and into the office.

"All right" Ennis said closing the door "what is it that's so-" he didn't finish his sentence cause Jack suddenly kissed him hard on the mouth, his hands reaching for Ennis's belt.

"Whoa Jack" Ennis said threw his deep kissed "you'r awful frisky today".

"Its been awhile since we last did it" Jack said as he slowly back Ennis up to the wall "with all the work that's been goin' on and such, this may be the only time we could do it". He backed him up to the wall, were once he was done with Ennis's belt he began to unbutton his shirt kissing at his neck ferociously.

"Don't ya think we should" Ennis let out a moan as Jack began kissing his nipples "hmm, do this in the house?"

"Nuh uh, to far" Jack came up and kissed him again, slipping his tongue into Ennis's mouth, teasing him. He then began to wander all of Ennis face, hands messaging his chest, his mouth sucking on his ear.

"I want ya inside me" he whispered into his ear, the thought sending a jolt down Ennis's body.

He took Jack in his arms and swung him around. He then took Jack's hand and stuck it down his pants until his clasped his growing erection.

"Ya want that?" Ennis said in the low growl of a voice that got Jack worked up. Jack nodded, that glint in his eyes. Ennis then dove right into Jack's mouth, his control all but lost. He wrapped Jack into his arms, pulling him close as there lips collided with one another, tongues slipping in and out of their mouths in some sort of dance.

Then Ennis undone Jack's belt, pulled down his pants, and hauled Jack up by his knees. Then he pushed in and began to go at Jack.

"Ah yeah" Jack moaned, "Fuck me good cowboy".

This sent Ennis reeling and he began to go faster, Jack moans becoming louder. He then put his hand behind Jack's head and kissed him hard on the lips, his leg muscles straining him to go faster, his other hand grabbing at handfuls of Jack's ass.

For those few moments, all of Ennis's stress slipped away and all there was now was Jack and those beautiful blue eyes.

* * *

Jess caught up with Dan talking to a worker over a blueprint.

"Hey Dan" Jess said, "ya talked to Ennis yet?"

"Ya, jus' missed him" he replied, "I think he and Jack went off to talk bout somethin".

"Did ya see where they went?"

Dan shifted his mouth "uh, I think they headed off…that way" he pointed east.

"Okay, thanks" Jess headed to where Dan pointed, talking to some of the workers if they'd seen either of the two men.

"Ya, I saw them" said one of them "I think they headed of to the office building". Jess thanked the man and headed for the office building. It was a small building built right next to the main house, just recently built. Since the two men would be having a bigger business, it was only logical to have a place were they could store all of there earnings and take important business calls.

He walked up the stairs and opened the door. He then saw Ennis, his pants down, ass bare, and Jack pressed against the wall as he drove into him, both moaning.

Jess gave a loud cough. The two suddenly stopped, both now aware of Jess.

"If you two are quit done" Jess said coldly "I need to talk to ya Ennis". He then closed the door not waiting for a response from them.

God damn it he thought second time that's happened. Why do they always have to do that? Why can't they just do that in the privacy of their own rooms? Jess walked down just when he heard the door open.

"Jess wait" Ennis growled, "I'm sorry bout that-"

"Its fine Ennis" Jess said "really, all people do, I just happened to walk in on the two of ya doing it".

"Should have locked the door or somethin," he said under his breath.

"You could have waited" Jess said crossly "I mean, with all the sex you two are having, don't ya think you might get one of them disease? Like that AIDS virus they're making such a big deal about".

"Don't trust no doctors," he said, "sides, when was the last time they were right?"

"Well, without them we wouldn't have a cure for polio" Jess said "or typhoid, or penicillin for that matter. So ya, I think doctors have been right lots of times". They soon came to the front porch off the house.

"Well, what is it ya wanted me fer?" Ennis asked

Jess turned to look at him "can I go over to Lois's tomorrow?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Nothing" Jess said, "there's a horror movie marathon on for Halloween and we wanna watch it. That okay?"

Ennis nodded his head "ya, I guess that's all right".

"Okay" Jess said, he then turned and headed into the house.

"Jess" he called.

"Ennis really" Jess said turning around "its fine alright". He then turned and walked inside.

* * *

Ennis stood there in stony silence as Jess opened the door and headed inside. Even after everything, he still felt distance between him and Jess. It was as if a wall had been built between Jess and the outside world, never letting anyone in and never revealing his true self. The only time Ennis had ever broken threw this wall was with that talk they had back in September, that one brief moment were Jess opened up to him and he got to see what was hiding behind that wall.

But other then that one moment, Ennis had never been able to break threw it again. it was true that Jess definitely had changed his attitude, no longer the hateful little shit he was when he first came here. He actually gave Ennis and Jack respect, no longer talked back to them, and hardly ever snapped at them, and even when he did he always apologized for it later on.

However, he still remained distant, never showing his emotions to them. it was almost as if he'd turned into a teenage Lureen, accepting of their lifestyle, always treating them with respect, but always disjointed from the world. In some ways, it pained Ennis even more to see him like this then when he first came.

"Hey" Jack said walking up to him "you okay there cowboy?"

"Ya, I'm fine," he grumbled.

"What did Jess want?" he asked.

"Jus' wonderin' if he could go over to Lois's for some scary movie marathon". Jack nodded.

"Is he still…you know?" Ennis nodded solemnly.

"I'm so lost Jack" he said "I thought for sure I'd gotten threw to him with that talk…"

"And you did" Jack said, wrapping an arm around Ennis "he's become a lot better then when he first came here".

"But he's still so distant from us" Ennis said sadly.

Jack turned his face so he could look at him straight in the eyes "that may be so but you can't beat you'r self over it. These things take time, a lot of time. It took us almost two years 'fore we were able to get our business on smooth ground".

"Ya and now we're riskin' it all ta hell again" Ennis jokingly.

"Oh stop" Jack said, playfully pushing him, Ennis laughing a bit.

"Well, we better git back ta work" Ennis said.

"Ya we should" Jack said. The two then headed back towards the ranch, passing the trucks and workers that crossed by. As they began to herd in the new cattle, Ennis couldn't help but ask.

"Are ya sure?" he said "that Jess will…"

"Don't worry so much Ennis" Jack said "he will okay? Jus' give him the time he needed before and you'll get that chance again".

* * *

Ever since Ennis and Jack hired the ranch hands to help out, it had given Jess and Bobby a lot more time off from work. They still had to help out on the ranch every four weeks but it was a heck of a lot less work for them to do. Now that they had more time off, Bobby was able to give Jess more driving lessons and Jess could help Bobby more on his school work.

By now, Jess had finally gotten the stick shift down and had become a very competent driver. No more did he lurch the car or floored down on the brakes, instead now he had become almost as good as a driver as Ennis, Jack, Bobby, even Lois for that matter. Pretty soon he'd be able to apply for his license once they began offering road test.

As for Bobby, with Jess's help he had managed to pull almost all of his grades up to C's. He was doing a lot better at school and had become better at reading. He may fumble over a word or two but no one was perfect.

Right now, they were in Bobby's room while Jess helped him with his math homework. It was the one class he still had a D in and Jess was keen on raising it up to a C like all the rest.

"Okay Bobby" Jess said "you've now put the equation into a+bi form, now what do you do next?"

Bobby bit his lip "uh, you…subtract common variables?" wrong Jess thought.

"No" he said evenly "you have to reduce the numbers to lowest form. Now, what's the lowest you can reduce 81 too?"

He tapped his pencil "uh…nine I think".

Jess nodded "good, now do the same for the other equations". Jess walked over to Bobby's bed while he finished up the homework. Lying down on it, he let his mind wander to other things. Flashes of New York would pass him by, images of the inner streets of the Bronx, the Twin Towers and Empire State building, Marty's, Marlene, his mom…

"Done" Bobby said, cutting Jess off from his day dream. He got up and walked over to take Bobby's paper. He quickly scanned threw the problems, scratching the back of his head as he did. Most of the answers were right but it was clear that Bobby just wasn't getting it yet. Jess had to help him on most of the questions and even so he managed to make a few errors. If he were handed a test on this, he would flunk it without Jess hovering over him and correcting all his mistakes.

"Its good" Jess said "but, you are still not getting it, not without me helping you anyway". Bobby shuffled his feet, head lowered.

"I'm hopeless," he mumbled.

"Your not hopeless" Jess said, "you just need a few extra lessons is all".

"We've been goin' over this for weeks now and I'm still fuckin' it up" he said bitterly.

"Your fucking it up" Jess said "well, maybe a bit. You are able to get how to do the formula; it's just that you make some mistakes while doing it. Once we tweak out the areas where you're messing up, then you'll be ready". Bobby just shrugged.

"So, what cha doin' tomorrow?" Bobby asked, changing the subject.

"Going over to Lois's," he said, "there's going to be a horror movie marathon on. What about you?"

Bobby shrugged "was thinkin' of goin' to this party my friends throwin".

"Why not go?" he asked.

"It's a costume party," Bobby said.

"So?" Jess said bluntly "it's a Halloween party, what did you except?" Bobby just shrugged.

"Well, what are you planning to go as?" he asked.

"Uh" Bobby thought "a cowboy?"

"Ain't ya already?" Jess said flatly. Bobby only grunted.

Jess sighed, "Do you really wanna go?"

"Nothin' else ta do" Bobby said.

"Okay then" Jess said, "how's about I help ya with your costume?"

A look of uncertainty crossed Bobby's face "you will?" he said uncertainty.

"Ya, why not" he said "I'm gonna have some free time tomorrow before going over to Lois's".

"What did ya had in mind?" he asked.

Jess thought for a moment "not sure, but I will have an idea". He then got up and headed for the door.

"Wait, how do I know you ain't gonna dress me up like some sorta freak?"

"You don't" Jess said flatly "just gonna have to trust me". He then walked out and headed for his room.

* * *

**Authors note: review people! I want to know if I started it off right.**


	27. Chapter 26

Jess had finally thought of a costume for Bobby the next morning. He called Bobby into his room just an hour before he had to go to the party. He made him put on the clothes he managed to dig out of his suitcase and when he was clothed, he messed up his hair and bit and made him slip on Jess's old leather jacket. Luckily, most of Jess's clothes were able to fit Bobby, even if they appeared a bit small compared to Bobby's well-muscled body.

Once Jess was done, he told Bobby to look in the mirror.

"There, I'm a miracle worker" Jess said.

Bobby seemed almost like a different person. He wore an extremely dark pair of baggy jeans that almost seemed black while he wore a tight fitting black shirt and Jess's leather jacket. His brown hair was sticking up in odd angles and on his wrist he wore one of Jess's old black bracelets he hardly ever wore anymore.

"Who exactly am I?" Bobby asked, a bit dumbfounded by how he looked.

"Bob Dylan" Jess said.

He shifted a bit "ya sure? It don't seem like…"

"Hey, I worked with what I had" Jess said "its not like I have my own design team helping me. Besides, it's either this or nothing". Bobby looked at himself a bit more.

"Well, it is a pretty okay get up" he said. He adjusted his pants a bit "don't ya have any jeans that ain't so…loose?"

"Don't push it" Jess said "so where exactly is this party?"

"You know that wide receiver on the football team, Chuck Laportie?" Bobby said.

"Ya" Jess said "is it at his house then?"

"Ya" Bobby said, "every Halloween, he always throws one of these parties. Its like a free excuse for kids to drink beer and get high of drugs".

"Sounds like a night under the West Side Highway" Jess said.

"What?" Bobby asked.

"Nothing" Jess said "so, this your first time actually going?"

"No" he said, "last time I went was back in the seventh grade and I went as a cowboy".

"How original" Jess said sarcastically "does Ennis and Jack know your going?" Bobby nodded.

"And do they know what exactly goes on at these parties?" Jess asked.

"Well, not really" Bobby said. Typical Jess thought.

"Well, you aren't gonna get totally wasted right?" he asked.

Bobby nodded "no, I don' do drugs. Maybe a beer or two but nothin' serious". Jess nodded. He trusted Bobby enough to take his word for it but, then again he was a teenager and teens are known to lie.

"So, you should get going" Jess said.

"Right" he headed for the door and walked down the hall, hearing his footsteps as he went down. Lois had begged him to dress up for the occasion and to him, It seemed silly considering they weren't going out and begging for candy but that was Lois for ya.

The last time Jess ever dressed up for Halloween was when he was ten but trick or treating in New York is a long and arduous ordeal. So by the time he got back after nearly three hours of walking, he swore that he would never go trick or treating again or dress up for that matter. So for the past five Halloween's, all he did was lay around at the apartment, watch a monster movie marathon, and hand out candy to all the little trick or treaters.

Even though he wasn't going to dress up, Lois certainly was. He had asked what she would be and all he got was it's a surprise.

When the sun began to set, Jess got up off his bed and headed downstairs to wait for Lois.

Jack and Ennis were downstairs, Jack in the kitchen, Ennis in the TV room.

"Hey" Jack said in his friendly voice.

"Hi" Jess said, walking over to the table and taking a seat.

"Why ain't ya dressed up?" Jack asked.

"Why aren't you?" Jess said.

He shrugged "don't see the point in dressin' up". Jess leaned back in his chair, idly picking at his large studded bracelet.

"So what are you two doing tonight?" Jess asked in a non-interested voice.

"Dunno" Jack said, "Maybe jus' watch TV or somethin" Jess could already guess what that something was.

"When ya gonna be home?" Ennis asked.

"Eleven or twelve" Jess answered "give or take".

"And you'll be back at that exact time?" Ennis said sternly.

"Yes" Jess said. He then heard a knock at the door. Must be Lois he thought. He got of the chair and opened the door. Lois was dressed as though she was from the 50's, with a traditional housewife attire, floral dress, apron, plain shoes while her short red hair had been made into tight curls.

"Hey Jess," she said in her bright voice.

"Who are you suppose to be?" Jess said "Lucille Ball?"

"Ya!" Lois exclaimed, "How could ya tell?"

"Uh, is there any other famous red head?" Jess said jokingly.

"Oh shut up" Lois said, walking inside "hey Jack, Ennis, how ya'all doin?"

"N'all right" Ennis said in his gruff voice.

"Fine Lois" Jack said "nice get up".

"Thanks" she said "I'm Lucille Ball"

"It's fittin," said Jack.

"Well thank you Jack," she said "Ennis, what do ya think?"

Ennis shifted on the couch, obviously put of by her sudden comment to him. "Uh" he said "its…good".

She smiled "well comin' from you that means a whole lot. Oh look! We better get goin' Jess if we're gonna make the first film". She turned and quickly headed out to her car.

Jess turned to follow her before he heard Ennis's voice "remember, home by twelve".

Jess nodded "right" he then closed the door and made his way to Lois's beat up dark green Vista Cruiser. He slid into the passengers seat, sweeping of the array of crumpled pictures.

"Sheesh Lois" he said, "you sure go all out for this".

"Its Halloween, that's the whole point" she said, starting the car up.

"So what is the first film?" Jess asked.

"I think it's a Dracula film with that Bela Lugosi fella" she said as they pulled off down the road.

"That's cool" Jess replied.

* * *

Ennis was watching the news when Jess left with Lois. He could never really pay attention to the news only catching bits and pieces of it at times. Jack walked over and sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around him.

"So what's happenin?" he asked.

"Dunno" Ennis said "somethin' bout a bank robbery".

"Ain't there always somethin' bout robberies" Jack said. Ennis chuckled a bit, letting a hand rest on Jack's firm back. He felt a hand began to rub his chest, slowly traveling down to his belt.

"We got the house to ourselves now" Jack said, already unbuckling the belt.

"Is that so?" Ennis said coyly as Jack began to remove the belt.

"Ya" Jack said "besides, trick or treatin' ain't fer little kids ya know?" he smiled as he began to pull down Ennis's pants.

"And what exactly am I gettin?" Ennis said, a smile on his face "a trick or a treat?"

"Whaddya think?" Jack said, and then he went down on Ennis, taking him inside. Ennis let out a soft moan. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Bobby soon pulled up to Chuck's house, other cars already lining the driveway and street, music drifting from the house. He could see people on the porch, all dressed up in some sort of outfit. He got out of the car and made his way up the porch and into the house.

Looking around, it seemed like almost all the boys had come as cowboys. Bobby felt a bit on ease, coming in looking like some sort of drugged up rocker. However, most of the girls had decided to come as a wide variety of things. Some seemed like businesswoman, others witches, and one even dressed up like a man.

"Hey Bobby!" he turned to see it was Chuck coming up to him, dressed like a cowboy.

"Hey Chuck," he said.

He looked at Bobby "what are you suppose ta be?"

"Bob Dylan" he said.

"I like it" he said, "I swear, ya one of the few men here who decided ta go cowboy". Bobby knew it was a compliment but he still felt awkward looking like this.

"Well come on" Chuck said "I'll take ya to the booze". Bobby smiled; maybe a couple of beers will help calm him. He followed him through the packed room until they came to a giant keg. Chuck got him a plastic red cup, poured him some, and handed it to him.

"Thanks" he said, taking a sip.

"So, how things goin' with you'r dad expandin' the ranch?" Chuck asked.

"S'all right I suppose" he said "almost done with the expansions, and we got some business partners already, so all that's left is ta see how things turn out".

"That's good" Chuck said. They began to talk for a while, some of Bobby's other friends cutting in to talk with them.

"So why exactly did he do that?" Bobby asked his friend Mark.

"I dunno, probably on drugs or somethin" he said.

"Hey there Bobby" he turned to see Tessa White appear behind him, her voice slurred and her breathe reeking of alcohol. Not surprising, Tessa was one of the biggest drunks at the school, she obviously got it from her father. She was dressed in an extremely skimpy outfit, so it didn't take much thought to know what she was dressed as.

"Hi Tessa" Bobby said, being polite.

"So, this party is really kick ass huh?" she said, stumbling a bit, sending some of her beer spilling to the floor.

"Ya" Bobby said.

"So Bobby" she said, suddenly leaning up against him "I always thought ya was real cute".

"Uh…thanks?" he said, unsure how to respond to this.

"Ya wanna get outta here?" she said, her face now close to Bobby's "maybe go upstairs for some…" she then had her hand on his crotch.

"Uh, don't ya think you'r boyfriend might be against that?" he said, taking her hand off him.

"He don't care" she said, spilling her drink some more "sides, I broke up with him jus' now and I'm real depressed. Maybe ya can bang it outta me?"

"Okay, that's it" Bobby said taking her by the shoulder "I think ya need ta lay down a bit".

"I ain't tired" she said breaking away from him "I feel like I can run a whole mile" she stumbled again, this time nearly going down.

"Okay, uh, why don't ya go and get me another drink?" Bobby said, handing her a cup.

"Absolutely" she said, taking his cup "I think I might git myself another" she then began to stumble across the room to the keg.

"What the hell man!" said Harry, another of Bobby's friends "she jus' asked ya to fuck her silly! And you jus' refuse?"

"There's no way I'm takin' advantage of her" Bobby said "not like that, besides she has a boyfriend".

"Oh please" Mark said "they break up more times then we can count. I mean, she was practically throwin' herself at ya!"

"I ain't gonna do it" Bobby said, "I ain't like that".

They all rolled their eyes "I swear Bobby, sometimes ya act to much like a gentleman" said Chuck.

Bobby pushed him playfully "all right, well I better go and get myself another drink, knowin' her she ain't comin' back". Bobby made his way back to the table where the keg was held. He poured himself another cup, taking a long drink from it, and then exhaling sharply when he finished.

"Hello Twist" Bobby felt his insides churn. It was Doug Macarthur, now standing next to him, dressed like a cowboy like everyone else.

"Doug" he said evenly. He and Macarthur hadn't spoken to each other since that scuffle back in September. He wondered why he was bothering to talk to him now.

"I see that little freak has rubbed of on ya" he said snidely "what the hell are ya suppose ta be?"

"Bob Dylan" he said "and what about you Doug? Is cowboy the best ya can do?" he gave Bobby a venomous look.

"You know, I don' wanna deal with ya tonight" he said, "so how bout ya jus' go away and leave me be?"

"No way Twist," he said, taking a step forward "you and I have some unfinished business to take care of".

"You should really step back Macarthur" Bobby said "I don't wanna embarrass ya in front of everyone, seein' how yer the star quarterback and all". Doug clenched his jaw and set down his cup.

"Uh, is everythin' okay here?" Mark said, waking up to the men.

"Fine Heller" Doug said "jus' fine, me and Twist here were jus' catchin' up on old times" he smiled, picked up his bear, and patted Bobby on the back. "See ya around" he said in a dangerous tone. He then walked off back into the party.

"What the hell was that about?" Mark asked.

"Nothin" Bobby said "nothin' at all, jus' Doug bein' Doug".

"Don't tell me ya two are still goin' at it" Mark said.

"Seems that way" he replied.

"Well come" Mark said, leading Bobby through the living room. They then came to the kitchen where a drinking game was underway. Chuck was already downing a shot while two others joined in with him.

Once he finished, he swallowed and gave a whoop of joy "number four!" he said "come on Bobby, join in".

Bobby knew he shouldn't get involved, knowing what happens to people when they began to shoot the hard stuff. But after that whole thing with Doug, he needed something to take his mind off it. The peer pressure didn't help either.

"Oh what the hell" he said, taking his seat "but only a few shots".

"Whatever" Chuck said, passing him a shot glass and pouring it with a strong smelling whiskey. When he said go, Bobby took the glass and gulped down the strong, stinging amber liquid. He took it down in one painful swallow, feeling the rush the liquid gave him.

"One more?" Chuck asked.

Bobby smiled "why not?" everyone cheered at this and he poured himself another shot of the liquid. Soon, one shot turned to three, then four, then seven, until the entire promise Bobby made about taking only a few were out the window.

* * *

Jess and Lois had been sitting on the couch for a good five hours now, an almost empty container of popcorn situated between them. After three movies, they were now watching Halloween. Jess originally saw it way back when it first came out back in 78 and it scared him silly. When he came out of the theater, he felt that Michael Meyers was walking right behind him ready to take a knife to his back. He guessed that was what you got for sneaking into an R rated movie at twelve years old.

Mr. Madera had long since gone to bed, leaving Jess and Lois alone on the couch, watching as Jaime Lee Curtis made her way down the hall to the suspicious looking lit room.

"No Jaime Lee" Jess said "don't go into the room, run Jamie Lee, run!" then a scream can be heard from the TV.

"Ah, Jamie Lee, you went into the room! You stupid, stupid girl" Jess said.

"Why do all people in horror movies have to be so…stupid?" Lois said.

"I dunno" he said, "maybe so they can actually get a scare outta us. I mean, it wouldn't be much of a horror flick if Jaime Lee didn't go into the house".

"True" Lois said, taking a handful of popcorn.

"Turn around Jaime Lee" Jess said "he's right behind you, turn around Jaime Lee!" then, another scream from the television.

"And she doesn't turn around" Jess said. Just then, the phone rang causing Jess to jump a bit.

"Whoa, scared much?" Lois said teasingly.

"Oh hush," he said, "who could that be?"

"I dunno, don't get it," she said "probably jus' no one".

"Or it could be Jack and Ennis" he said. Looking at the clock, it was getting close to twelve and he did not want to be late for curfew again.

"I better answer it," he said, getting off the couch.

"No Jess" Lois said "its jus' getting' ta the good part". He walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone that hung on the kitchen wall.

"Hello?" immediately he knew it was not Jack and Ennis. He could hear loud music playing in the background and a lot of talk going on.

"Jess? That you?" it sounded like Bobby, but something seemed wrong with him. His voice was slurred and he was breathing heavily.

"Bobby" he said, "why are you calling?"

"Uh, I was jus' callin' ta see how ya were doin".

Then it came to Jess "are you drunk?"

He heard Bobby laugh "uh, ya, maybe. I don' think so, I only had a few shots". He is drunk Jess thought typical teens.

"Are you still at that Chuck guys house?" he asked.

"Uh ya, why?" Bobby answered, sounding a bit more distant.

"Okay, I'm coming over to pick you up" he said "meet me out in front…and don't have anything else to drink".

"Right" Bobby said, however by the sound of voice Jess was thinking he didn't hear him.

"Okay, see ya in a bit" Jess said before hanging up the phone. When he walked back into the living room, Jaime Lee was now running to the house, screaming at the top of her lungs while Lois turned around to look at him.

"Who was that?" she asked.

"Bobby" he said, "he's drunk of his ass. I need to pick him up. Do you know where a Chuck Laportie's house is?"

"Uh, ya I do" she said, getting up "I can't believe it, jus' doesn't seem like Bobby to do somethin' like that".

"Oh Lois" Jess said, "When you go to a Halloween party, people are bound to get drunk. Believe me, when they had stuff like this in New York the police would be on double duty just waiting for an accident to happen".

She walked to the door and grabbed her car keys "and this is a real shame cause the movie was jus' getting' to the end".

"Well, that's life" Jess said as they made their way out the door, down the stairs, threw the darkened grocery store, and into Lois's car. They then pulled out onto the road and drove for Chuck's house.

* * *

When Jess hung up, Bobby awkwardly put down the phone and straightened himself up. Everything seemed muddied together, images flashing by him, voices fading in and out, all these things rushing at him that made him feel dizzy.

He remembered something about Jess telling him to go wait outside. What for, he wasn't sure. He stumbled his way threw the masses of people, bumping into more then he counted, his head swimming.

Bobby felt sick; it was all too much for him, the images, the sounds, every step he made, it was all too much. He gagged a bit but held it in, finally grasping the door handle. The cool October air rushed past him, a soothing sensation.

He slumped up against the porch railing, steadying himself. Then he couldn't hold it in and he vomited over the side, the acidic taste burning his throat, making him cough. It seemed to help him a bit; everything started to seem clearer, the images not so muddied, voices not so distant.

Then, Bobby felt weak. I have to sit down he thought must sit, must sit, so tired. He slumped to the ground, mind beginning to swim again.

To much noise he thought make it stop. He began to rub his head, a headache now setting in. then, he felt his stomach flip. He turned to one side and vomited again, the familiar acid taste coming into his throat and mouth.

He whipped his mouth, headache becoming worse, everything beginning to blur out. Then he remembered Jess. Rising on hand, her reluctantly pulled himself up, feeling like a ton of bricks had been placed on him.

Bobby awkwardly walked down the steps until he heard a voice from behind.

"Hey, where do ya think you'r goin' Twist" even though Bobby was drunk, even he could tell that it was Doug calling for him.

* * *

**Authors note: this may seem a bit overdue but I want to thank all the people who have reviewed, especially Jada91, redrose7272, cwby30, Katieleo, OrtonCenaLover231, Kate Andromeda, and special thanks to onefreetoroam, who has reviewed almost all of my chapters and informed me on some technical mistakes I've made. I mean, I won't always change these mistakes but keep them coming.**

**P.S. if I forgot your name well…tough luck**


	28. Chapter 27

Jack and Ennis were now both in bed, naked, and heavily kissing. Ennis pulled Jack close to him, his firm muscled body a comfort to him. Then, Jack flipped him over and began to slowly kiss his neck sending shockwaves down Ennis's body.

Jack had long since memorized where Ennis was most sensitive and he aimed to use these points as often as possible. Ennis arched his back as began kiss his chest, a sharp exhale of breath escaping his mouth.

"Jack" he said in a hushed voice.

"Hmm" was the response he got as Jack worked his way back up to his neck.

"I want ya inside me" Jack stopped and looked at him in surprise. It was only in very rare circumstances that Ennis ever asked this; it was even rarer that he would ask for it twice in only one year. That only happened…well, just now.

"You'r sure?" he whispered. Ennis nodded, kissing Jack softly on the lips.

Jack braced himself, wrapping his arms around Ennis's, and then slowly pushed in. Ennis gave a hiss as the familiar sensation suddenly began to fill his body.

"Fuck Jack" he said in a quick short breath. Once he was completely in, he began to go slowly, giving only short thrusts as he went. Ennis's back arched, his jaw clenched, and he held himself close to Jack while he went to work.

As the minutes ticked by he slowly became use to Jack's presence, he began to kiss Jack on the neck, a silent sign for him to go faster. He began to pick up speed, each thrust going deeper, longer, and faster then the last.

Ennis held Jack even closer, his burrowed into his neck as he began to make loud, gurgled moans that got Jack riled up, making him go faster. Ennis felt himself being pushed towards the edge again; each thrust from Jack sending waves of pleasure coursing threw his veins.

"Ah…Jack," he said in a strained voice, becoming lost to the sensation. Then just before he went over the edge, he gave Jack a hard, deep kiss on the mouth. Then after a few more thrust Jack was there too, coming hard and fast.

The two collapsed on the bed, Jack still over Ennis as he held him close, both breathing heavily. Jack then lifted his head, brow sweating, looking directly into Ennis's eyes.

He stroked an idle piece of blond hair from Ennis's head "ya alright cowboy?" he said softly.

Ennis put his hand behind Jack's head and leaned in to kiss him again, this time a long passionate one.

"As I'll ever be," Ennis said as he pulled away.

Jack smiled and kissed him again "I love ya Ennis Del Mar" he said softly.

"I love ya too Jack Twist" Ennis said, kissing Jack again. He then wrapped his arms around him and slowly turned him over, kissing him slow and softly as he went. For the longest time, both men remained like this. Ennis over Jack while they kissed each other in slow passionate kisses.

They paused for only a moment, each one looking into the others eyes. Then, Jack leaned in and they continued on until both had fallen asleep, still wrapped in each other's arms.

* * *

"Where do ya think you'r goin' Twist?" Doug said as he awkwardly stepped down the porch steps, obviously as drunk as Bobby was.

"Goin' home," Bobby replied, staggering a bit.

"Oh no you don't" Doug said, throwing away his cup "we still need to resolve some issues between us".

"There ain't any issues" Bobby said, "you'r jus' pissed off because I bruised you'r ego".

"What did ya say?" Doug said, taking a step forward. Bobby began to notice people drifting out of the house, obviously drawn by the commotion. Right now, he did not want to deal with Macarthur, he was drunk, his head hurt, and all he wanted to do was go home.

"Why don' we jus' finish this up some other time?" Bobby said, turning around and heading for his car.

"You wanna know what my daddy says about you'r daddy?" Doug yelled, "He says he's a queer. He and that Del Mar guy". This caused Bobby to freeze, his body going rigid, and his blood beginning to boil.

"Oh ya" Doug continued, "He says that you'r daddy sucks dick for a livin', and that he and his fag lover are goin' ta hell". Bobby began to get really angry, really fast, maybe it was the fact Doug was insulting him and his dad or it was the alcohol talking.

Bobby didn't notice it but there were now a lot of people out, beginning to whisper, wondering if what Doug actually said was true.

"Ya that's right" he continued, "ya'll heard me, Bobby Twist's daddy is a fag. A cross dressin, cock suckin, but fuckin, prissy ass fag! Both he and that Del Mar guy, why da ya think his son is so messed up? It's because he has ta live with the shame of his daddy livin' in sin his whole life. And as for Bobby? Well, he's already goin' ta hell anyway for livin' with them".

Doug paused and looked directly at Bobby "so what cha gonna do now Bobby?" finally, all that Doug had said mixed with the alcohol and the pass few months caused Bobby to snap.

He gave a loud roar of anger and barreled directly into Doug, taking him down, hearing the wind rush out of him. He then began to pummel at him, blind fury taking him over, the only thing he wanted to do right now was grind Doug Macarthur's face right into the dirt for the scum that he was.

* * *

Lois and Jess turned a corner until they appeared on a residential street lined with houses.

"So which one's Laportie's?"

"Jus' look for all the cars" Lois said "then we have the house". They made their way down the street until they saw the huge parade of cars and the loud thump of music soon reaching their ears.

"This must be it" Lois said pulling up to the house. Jess saw a large crowd had formed on the lawn, cheering going on, and two figures rolling around on the grass.

"Whoa, holy shit!" Jess exclaimed.

"What? What?" Lois said, "I can't see, what's goin' on?"

"There's some sorta fight going on in the front lawn," Jess said. Lois leaned over into Jess's seat, resting an arm on his leg.

"Holy shit, ya right!" she exclaimed.

"Ow leg" Jess said.

"Sorry" Lois said, taking her arm off "I wonder who's doin' the fightin?"

Jess squinted his eyes "huh, I can't really tell. It's to dark to make out their fac…" just then, Jess got a clear look at one of the fighters. He realized it was Bobby! And after another few seconds he realized the other was Macarthur.

"Oh fuck!" Jess exclaimed.

"What?" Lois asked.

"Its Bobby!" Jess said, "He's one of the fighters!"

"What?" Lois said, leaning over again "no way, that ain't like him".

"Ya sober" Jess said "wait here" he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car.

"Jess! Jessie Bears!" she exclaimed, "What are you doin?"

"Just stay in the car Lois" Jess said sternly, walking over to the fighting figures. He elbowed his way through the crowd until he broke into the middle of the fighting figures.

"Bobby!" Jess yelled, grabbing him by the torso and pulling him off "Bobby stop! That's enough!" surprisingly, Jess was able to pull him off Macarthur.

Bobby still tried to go at Macarthur but Jess held him back "Bobby stop! That's enough! Just let go!" he almost broke free of his grip but Jess pulled him back. It was like trying to hold down a rabid dog.

"Bobby, get in car now!" Jess said, still pulling back the raging teen "I said, get in the car!" he then flung Bobby back with all the strength he could muster.

Jess looked him straight in the eye "get in the car, NOW!" he felt like a parent yelling at a misbehaving child. Bobby seemed to listen this time, he was still breathing heavily, anger still flushed in his eyes but he reluctantly agreed and began to turn around.

"Hey" Doug said, who had now gotten back to his feat. Jess saw his right eye was swollen shut and his lip was bleeding "we aren't finished yet!" he took a step forward obviously ready to restart the fight.

"This ain't you'r fight, you little freak!" he hissed, taking awkward steps over "now why don't ya-" but he never finished his sentence as Jess punched him across the face, sending him to the ground. Instantly, his hand began to throb from the blow and he began shaking it to ebb the pain away.

It had now gotten very quiet, all the people now looking and him and Bobby.

"You all wanted a scene!" Jess yelled, "Well you got it!" he then walked over to Bobby, leaned up against him and slung his arm around his neck, and began pushing his way through the stunned crowd. He fished through Bobby's pockets until he found his keys.

"Jess!" Lois said, getting out of the car "what the hell happened?"

"Look Lois" Jess said "just go home, I'll call ya tomorrow okay?"

"But what the hell happened!" she said, her voice rising "he looks as though he's been in a cage fight".

"Look Lois" Jess said "now's not the best time, I'll call you tomorrow okay?" he then began to walk towards Bobby's car, not waiting to hear what she had to say. Opening the passenger door, he helped Bobby into the truck. Walking around the car, he got into the drivers seat, started it up, and began to drive home.

* * *

It was nearly twelve thirty by the time they made it home. Jess parked the car and got out, walking around to the passengers seat were Bobby was slumped over, head lolling.

"Okay, come on Bobby" Jess said, helping him out "almost there". Bobby gave a groan as he awkwardly climbed out of the truck, Jess steadying him as they began to walk to the porch. Jess prayed that Ennis and Jack had gone to bed already, otherwise if the saw him bringing in a drunk Bobby, things would get real ugly, real fast.

Just then, Bobby lurched and he vomited into the grass "okay come on" Jess said encouragingly "your doing great, just a few more steps". They climbed up the steps and Jess opened the door. Luckily, Jack and Ennis were nowhere to be seen. They must have gone to bed he thought.

He led Bobby to the stairs and slowly they began to climb up, taking slow steps as to not wake Jack and Ennis. Bobby stumbled a bit and hit the wall, causing a pretty addible thump. Jess hissed in frustration, steadying Bobby. He waited a few minutes but heard no one sound from upstairs. Good he thought they didn't hear that.

They continued on up the stairs and quietly eased past Jack and Ennis's room, slowly heading for Bobby's.

Jess quietly opened the door, helped guide Bobby over to his bed, and gently helped him lay down. Bobby gave out a slight groan when he hit the pillow, eyes dropping shut, head rolling over until he was asleep in only seconds.

He then got of the bed, made his way to the opened door, and silently shut it. He then made his way down the hall until he was at his room. Okay he thought almost in the clear, just a few more steps. He made it to his door and began to turn the knob.

Then he heard someone cough behind him. His jaw suddenly clenched in frustration. Oh shit he thought.

He slowly turned around and his worst fears came true. Ennis was standing in the hall, dressed only his boxers and an old white t-shirt, and the look on his face told Jess that he was not happy at all. Damn he thought so close.

"Whatever happened ta twelve?" Ennis growled.

"Sorry" Jess said in his expressionless voice, "I lost track of time".

"Sorry ain't good enough" Ennis said "you'r grounded for the next week". Fuck Jess thought.

"That's unfair" Jess said, fighting voice coming in "I'm only thirty minutes over, its not like I'm late by an hour".

"You'r still late" Ennis said "if you were gonna be, you could have called us".

"Well I didn't" Jess shot back. He stopped himself from going any further "sorry, it won't happen again".

"Better not" Ennis said, "now get ta bed". He then turned and headed back for his room. Jess angrily opened his door and shut it behind him.

* * *

The next morning, Jess was woken again by the sound of the workers. He muttered something under his breath and then put on some jeans and another band t-shirt (Aerosmith) he then made his way downstairs. Jack and Ennis weren't in the kitchen, so they must have already gone out. This was a relief for Jess cause he did not want to deal with either of them after last night.

He poured himself some coffee, poked around the kitchen a bit, and took a seat at the table. He then heard the sound of shuffling feat. He looked to the stairs and saw Bobby walking down, looking like an absolute mess. His hair was sticking up at odd ends, his eyes were bloodshot and crusty, and he seemed wobbly as he made his way down. He also didn't seem to bother dressing as he came down only in his boxers and a ripped t-shirt.

He walked over to the table and sat down, rubbing his tired face.

"How do ya feel?" Jess asked.

"I'm thirsty, tired, my head hurts and I feel like I'm gonna hurl. How do you think I feel?" he said crossly.

Jess nodded "that's what ya get for shooting over". Bobby grunted something but Jess couldn't make it out.

Jess got up and made his way to the fridge, coming back with a glass in his hand filled with a strange reddish brown liquid. He passed it to Bobby, who picked it up, looking at like it was some kind of poison.

"What the hell is this?" he asked. It was what Jess had been preparing this morning, just for this exact moment.

"My friend taught me how" Jess said "guaranteed to cure a hang over…just, don't ask what's in it". Bobby looked at it suspiciously and then took a sip. Instantly, he put the glass down and covered his mouth, trying not to throw up again.

"Ah!" he said, "that's terrible! What the hell is in this?"

"Didn't I say not to ask?" Jess said flatly "just keep drinking, trust me it works all the time". Reluctantly, Bobby took another sip, grimacing as the fowl liquid ran down his throat.

"Better?" Jess asked.

Bobby shrugged "it helps a little" he took another sip, body shivering from the taste. He rubbed his head and put down the glass.

"What happened last night?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"You don't remember?" Jess asked.

"Not really" he responded.

Jess sighed "well, you called me, drunk of your ass and told me to come pick you up. I come over and see you fighting with Macarthur". Bobby's eyes got wide and he shook his head.

"Oh, now I remember" he said gravely.

"What the hell were you doing?" Jess asked.

"He disrespected me and my dad" he answered, "I couldn't let him get away with that".

"Ya but raising a fist won't solve anything" Jess felt like a hypocrite saying this, considering he too punched Macarthur and the fact he also punched L.D. across the face as well.

"Well, what did he say?" Jess asked.

Bobby took another sip of the fowl drink "he called my dad a fag".

Jess looked at him with an odd expression "uh…I hate to break it to ya Bobby but…he is". Jess bite his tongue, he shouldn't have said that.

"But he said it in front of everyone!" Bobby said "he practically announced it to the world, I had to take him down".

Jess looked at him "everyone?" Bobby nodded.

Jess drummed his fingers "so, people…know?"

Bobby stared down at his thumbs "I guess…well I mean, he was drunk when he said it and practically half of the other people there were also as wasted as he. So, maybe they won't think much of it" he said that last part in a hopeful voice.

Jess shook his head "uh Bobby, when someone calls someone else a fag, people aren't going to let it fly over there heads. There gonna take it seriously".

Bobby bit his lip "no, that can't be true. I mean, its not like he has proof!"

"But its not like it ain't true" Jess said bluntly. Bobby's eyes darkened and it seemed like he was about to protest but he fell silent.

"Whether or not they have proof" Jess continued "its still something people aren't going to let go. People are gonna talk…and, who knows, maybe no one will believe it. But, there will be some who will believe it". They were silent for a moment, not daring to speak.

"Should we tell Jack and Ennis?" Bobby asked.

Jess shook his head "not yet". He then got up and walked over to the sink, emptying his coffee "not until we know just how far Doug's little comment had spread".

He then walked over to Bobby "well come on, we better get to school". Bobby looked at him solemnly, took one last sip of the drink, and put it in the sink.

"And go put on something decent" Jess said. Bobby muttered something and made his way upstairs. Jess waited by the door a few minutes before Bobby reappeared in his usual cowboy attire.

He then got on his shoes, grabbed his keys, and opened the door. Jess followed him to the car, getting into the passengers seat.

"You sure your okay to drive?" Jess asked Bobby as he got in.

"Ya, I'm fine" he said "I don't know how but that drink is workin". He then started the car and they began their drive to school. Bobby was dreading having to walk into that school, just thinking about what people might say. Jess wasn't so worried, he was already the high school outcast, its not like anything else can bury him deeper into the ground.

* * *

**Authors note: keep reviewing people!**


	29. Chapter 28

November 5, 1982

What is it that makes a person straight or gay?

Some people have said its encoded in the genes, that from birth our DNA will tell us whom we are attracted to. Some people say it is how a person is raised from childhood, whether it is a traumatic experience or an unusual lifestyle or even a rough past and that how we are raised will set us up for whom we are attracted to. And then there are some people who say that it is the person who most completes us that makes us straight or gay, that one person who truly understands you, who makes you feel like a whole person, someone who truly loves you, that one someone that you were made for.

So what is it then, what makes a person straight or gay?

In my opinion, it isn't DNA or how were raised or any other scientific or psychological explanation. There is just something in our brain that tells us how we feel, makes us most comfortable and makes us most happy.

To me, Jack and Ennis don't fit any of this. Here are these two men; both raised from tough childhoods, both married once in their lives, both with kids, and both have slept with woman. And yet, they love each other; there is something in them that they are just attracted too.

I still don't understand what Ennis sees in Jack or what Jack sees in Ennis. To me, it seems that for that one summer in 63, both men were brought together, both so desperate to be touched and to be loved. Maybe they never thought of men before they met each other but when they did and that one night in the tent, where they only had each other, and somehow both understood what they wanted. In that instant, they had fallen in love.

So what makes a person straight or gay? I think no one will ever be sure what it is; the only thing we can say is that we are attracted to someone for a certain reason. Whether it be male or female, we are attracted to them…the only thing we can do is live with it.

As for what Ennis sees in Jack, I'm not sure. Maybe I'll never know. The only thing I can say for sure is…they are in love.

* * *

From what Jess could tell, most people at the school thought that Doug's comment came from being drunk and to just hurt Bobby. Practically everyone in school knew about their feud and most assumed that the whole fag comment came from the combination of alcohol and hate.

But, as Jess knew already, there were a number of people who believe there was more to Doug's comment then just a simple feud. It would explain why they never saw the two men with another woman and the fact of two men living together just didn't seem right.

So, it seemed the comment hadn't fazed a lot of people but it had certainly fazed some. And for all his years living in New York, Jess knew that a few were enough to cause trouble.

"But, would it be so bad for Jack and Ennis to jus'…I don' know, tell people?" Lois said, still drawing away in her pad and biting her sandwich.

Jess shifted on the rock he was on "you know very well Lois that these kinda things usually end in tragedy".

"And like I've told ya before" she said, "it's not 1962, its 1982. Lots of things have changed durin' those twenty years".

"Not really" Jess said, "people still view being queer as morally wrong".

"But there are a lot more people out there who accept it" Lois said "and, there even havin' these 'pride parades' or somethin' like that, which really seem to be gettin' their message across".

"No, noticed," Jess said, "that's all. Not accepted, just noticed".

Lois put her pencil down "why do you always have to be such a…a…"

"Pessimist?" Jess said.

"Ya, that word" she said.

"I ain't a pessimist" Jess said, "I only speak the truth".

"And isn't the truth usually bad?"

"Well, ya" Jess said, "so maybe I am a pessimist but that still doesn't change the fact that queers are about as accepted today as they were in the 60's. The only thing that's different is they've become noticed and aren't classified as mentally ill".

"You jus' wait" she said "pretty soon, all people will accept queers. Heck, they may even start making movies bout gay people".

Jess snorted, "Oh please, like that will ever happen".

Lois looked up "whaddya mean?"

"I mean is" Jess said, "The day they make a queer romance film is the day when a televised singing competition rules all of America".

Lois looked at him funny "where the hell did that come from?"

"Just making a point," Jess said, "it'll never happen". Lois huffed and went back to her work.

After a few minutes of silence she spoke again "so, you're goin' to the last game of the season?"

Jess nodded "only time I'm allowed out. But, I have to ride with Jack and Ennis".

"That's okay" she said "I'll meet you at the stadium then".

The bell soon rung and they packed up their things and hurried into school for drawing class.

* * *

Dan was just telling Ennis how they would be done soon with the expansions when he saw Jack coming up to him.

"Ennis" he said, "can I talk with ya?"

"Sure" Ennis said "that bout it Dan?"

He nodded "pretty much it. I'll leave you two with you'r business". He then headed off to do some sort of work.

"So, what were you and Dan talkin' bout?" Jack asked as they walked across the ranch.

"Jus' tellin' how they'd be finishin' up" Ennis said. And to him, it was a relief. It was already starting to cool down and pretty soon winter would be upon them and for him, he would much prefer if they'd get done before then.

"Well that's good," he said as they made their way into the office.

"So, what didja wanna talk about?" Ennis said.

Jack shifted a bit "well, we lost one of our partnerships".

Ennis looked at him "really? Who?"

"That one rancher we had up in Ada" Jack said "and, two of the ranchers who we had arrangements with also pulled out".

Now Ennis was worried "well, did they say why?"

Jack coughed a bit "well, you remember how that rancher up in Ethete said he'd expand into Oklahoma?"

Ennis felt his blood boil "so, he's the one who's snatched our partners?"

Jack nodded "ya" he said solemnly "but, we still have two other partnerships and three others jus' waitin' to hear our arrangements". That was a bit of good news but it still didn't help with the fact Denison was buying up all their partnerships.

"So here's what I was thinkin" Jack said "this week, we should head on up ta Kellyville and talk with that ranch head bout a partnership, fore that Denison fella gets ta him first".

Ennis nodded "n'all right" he said "but, how do ya know that'll stop him? If one of our partners already dropped out fer him, then it's likely he'll do the same".

"Well, I don' know Ennis" Jack said, "the only thing we can do is hope the rancher takes up out deal and Denison doesn't try to buy us out". This hardly made Ennis feel any better.

"Hey come on now cowboy," Jack said walking over to him "don't be discourage. So we lost a few associates, we got others".

"And who's to say Denison won't git them either" he said solemnly "you know very well he has it out fer us".

"So?" Jack said "one big shot has it out fer us, that still ain't gonna stop us".

"This ain't some little matter Jack" Ennis said "this guy can bury us right into the ground".

"Stop worryin' so much Ennis" Jack said "we won't know how serious this is until we wait it out a bit more". Ennis still had this grim look on his face.

Jack then walked to the door and locked it "what are ya doin?" Ennis said as Jack began to close the blinds.

"Think I might know somethin' that'll take yer mind of things" Jack said. He walked over, grabbed Ennis by the shoulders, and kissed him hard.

"And this time" he said "we won't be interrupted. So ya can go at me all ya like".

"What, ya think a little afternoon fuck is gonna take my mind of things?" Ennis said, as Jack began to kiss his neck and unbutton his shirt.

"Is it workin?" Jack said as he stuck his hand down Ennis's pants.

Ennis groaned "a little" he said.

Jack then forced him against the wall "how bout now?" he said teasingly, lips barley touching Ennis's mouth.

"Bit more" he said. Jack kissed him hard, pulled down his pants, and began to beat Ennis off. Ennis groaned in the voice Jack loved so much, his lips so soft and his rhythm starting to get going.

Then, Ennis flipped him over to the wall "hey now" Ennis said teasingly "don' wanna get of jus' yet". He then undid Jack's belt, braced him against the wall and pushed in. Jack groaned and Ennis shoved in again, starting out slow out first but soon getting up to a moderate rhythm.

He then ripped of Jack's shirt and began to devour at his chest, tongue working on one of his nipples, Jack starting to pant and groan harder. Jack's hand grasped a handful of Ennis's hair, pulled him off and kissed him. Ennis pushed in harder as Jack kissed him, lips and tongue telling him to go faster, hands all over each other, Ennis's clasped onto Jack's shoulders, while his were grabbing handfuls of Ennis's ass, urging him on.

Then, Ennis felt himself come and he gave one final push before pulling out. He held Jack close, his warm body feeling good against his.

"How bout now?" Jack said, his face right against Ennis's ear.

Ennis smiled "maybe" he pulled away and looked at Jack "how much longer till the game?"

"Nother three hours" Jack said, kissing Ennis.

"Well, I think I know a way you can make me forget completely" Ennis said, the lopsided smile now plastered on his face. Jack kissed him hard and soon both men were ready for another go.

* * *

"I'll see you at the game right?" Lois said as Jess got out of the car.

"Ya, just look for me with Jack and Ennis" Jess said, shutting the door. Lois waved him bye and then she pulled off down the road. He then walked up the porch steps and into the house where Bobby was sitting on the couch, watching the news.

"Hey" he said.

"Hey" Jess said, taking a seat next to him. They watched the news play out for a few moments before Jess spoke again.

"So, last game tonight" he said "nervous?"

Bobby shrugged "a little. Its not like we're goin' to the championships".

The football team had a pretty decent season. They had a record of six wins and three loses, tonight being the tenth and final game of the season and it seemed everyone in town was going to come to the game. Jess didn't get it all that much, maybe it was the excitement of the last game or maybe because there was nothing else to do. Either way, it was a pretty big deal for the town.

Jess began to pick idly at his large studded black bracelet, the news beginning to bore him. Bobby saw him, curiosity crossing his eyes.

"Why do you where those things?" Bobby asked.

Jess looked at him "huh?"

"Those bracelets, why do you where them?" Bobby asked again.

Jess sighed "its called punk".

Bobby looked at him funny "punk?" he said.

"Ya" Jess said "it's a way of rebelling against the status quo, to be different" he adjusted his bracelet "do you know of a club called CBGB?" Bobby shook his head.

"Its this club on Bleecker Street in Manhattan. Back in 79, my friend told me about the place, said for us to go check it out. It was the most incredible place I'd ever been to. It was just full of all these bands and people who dared to be different and challenge the way people thought. It was like…a rebellion of sorts in music. Soon after, I began dressing like the people down at CBGB, the bands t-shirts, the bracelets, the short hair, baggy jeans, the works. Down there I just felt…normal".

Jess paused for a minute "that's why I wear these bracelets…to be different". He looked at Bobby who was staring at him funny "what?" Jess said.

"I think that's the longest you ever spoken since bein' here" Bobby said. Jess only shrugged and went back to picking at his bracelet.

"Shouldn't you be going?" Jess said flatly.

Bobby looked over at the kitchen clock "oh shit, yer right" he got off the couch and began to run upstairs to his room. Jess sighed, why do I always have to do that? He thought every time he said too much about himself, he always has to be defensive?

Bobby soon came down the stairs "I'm headin' to the field, see ya later". Jess nodded and heard the door shut as Bobby headed for his truck.

Jess watched the news for another thirty minutes until he looked at the clock. 6: 24, they better get if they were gonna make kick off. He got up and slipped on his ripped sneakers, and walked out onto the porch. Now where are those two? He thought. He decided to look in the office building.

Walking over, he tried to turn the knob but found it locked, so he knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Ennis appeared, still buttoning his shirt. Jess rolled his eyes and sighed, then turned around to head towards Ennis's car. At least they locked the door this time he thought.

He slipped into the cramped back seat and waited until Jack and Ennis appeared. They then started the car and pulled off down the road.

Jack and Ennis discussed plans for the farm on the way to the stadium while Jess lay down in the back. Jess debated whether or not he should tell them about Doug's comment. He decided not to.

They soon pulled up to the stadium, which was beginning to fill up with people. Jess got up and hopped out of the car. As they made their way to the stadium, Jess could already tell some people were looking at them, whispering and staring. Jack and Ennis noticed to.

"Is it jus' me or are a lot a people…" Ennis said.

"Maybe their jus' happy ta see our smilin' faces" Jack said jokingly. If only you knew Jess thought. The occasional stares and whispers followed them into the stadium as they took their seats.

Jess spotted Lois coming in just as kick off started "Lois!" he yelled. She made her way threw the crowd and took her seat next to Jess.

"Hey" she said "hi Jack, Ennis".

"Hey Lois" said Jack, Ennis mumbled hi.

"So, how are things doin' with the ranch?" she asked.

"Things are comin' along nicely," Jack, said "we already got two partnerships and we're headin' up ta Kellyville and see if we can partner up with the rancher there" I thought it was three partnerships Jess thought.

Lois nodded "well, that's nice. Good for you" she then opened her sketchbook and began to draw.

By the middle of the second quarter, the team was trailing 5 to 7 and Jack was practically out of his seat yelling at the ref. Jess found it a bit amusing whenever Jack yelled at the ref, sorta like a one sided version of the Bob Newhart show.

As Jess watched the game, he couldn't help but overhear two teen girls sitting behind him.

"Ain't that Bobby's dad?" one girl said.

"Ya, I believe so," the other said.

"Ain't he shackin' up with that Del Mar fella?"

"Oh come on, tell me you don' believe that. Macarthur only said that cause he was drunk, ya know how he has it out fer Bobby".

"Ya, but it would make sense. Why is it we've never seen him with another women? And he's been her fer how long?"

"Well, my momma says that sometimes a person is so torn up from a divorce, that they jus' can't get back out and datin' again".

"Maybe but still, Macarthur had to be pretty steamed ta say somethin' like that. Personally, I think it might be true".

"Oh come on!"

"No, I'm serious. Two men livin' together…jus' ain't natural. Sides, you know bout Del Mar's son right?"

"Ya I do! He's in my history class, scary lookin' fella".

"Now see, a kid hafta be pretty messed up ta be dressin' like that".

"Well, I heard he lived in New York fer most of his life and you know how weird New Yorkian kids can be".

"But still, it jus' makes a whole lotta sense".

"Well, I think he ain't queer. He's to damn hot ta be, I mean have ya seen the ass on him?"

"Ya, because he wears such tight pants".

"So? I don' care, I'd do him in a heartbeat".

"Yer sick! He's like 38 years old! Yer only like seventeen!"

"I don' care, I'd still do him".

Jess didn't listen after that. Maybe now was the best time to tell Jack and Ennis…then again, what they don't know won't hurt them. Right?

The game ended with a score of 13 to 11, Bobby's team winning. There was a whole lot of celebration going on as they made their way out of the stadium. No one glanced or whispered at Jack or Ennis, to caught up in the team's victory.

"Oh hey Jess" Lois said "wanna head on up ta the drive threw tomorrow night? Mommie Dearest is playin' and I have my own wire hanger with me".

Jess laughed, "If Jack and Ennis will let me," he said.

"Well, ask!" she said.

Jess turned to the two men, who were talking about the game "hey Ennis" he said.

He looked at him "ya?"

"Can I go to the drive threw with Lois tomorrow?"

"Yer gonna be home on time?" Ennis said.

Jess shrugged "maybe".

Ennis gave him a hard look "ah, jus' let him go Ennis" Jack said, "He's been good all week". Ennis flashed Jack a hard look but didn't retort.

"Fine" he said "but, ya better call when yer leavin the theater". Jess nodded. He told Lois it was okay for him to go.

"Great!" she said, "I'll pick ya up at six?" Jess nodded and Lois headed of to her car. When Bobby came out, Jack slapped him on the back.

"Congratulations there bud!" he exclaimed "ya killed them out there".

"We only won by two" Bobby said, but his face was beaming with pride.

"Who cares, long as ya won" Jack said, slinging an arm around him "was fuckin' brilliant out there".

"Ya did good Bobby" Ennis said, a smile on his face. Jess nodded as well, not really knowing what to say. The four men then got into the truck and drove on home. The three men talked more about the game while Jess stared out the window, nodding occasionally when a question was fired at him. He just wasn't sure what to do, no emotions came to him and he felt like a blank wall. All he could do was keep this stony expressionless face and force a smile whenever they talked to him.

He just felt so…lost.

* * *

**Authors note: keep them reviews coming! Sorry bout the delay, computer acting fuzzy. Reviews appreciated.**


	30. Chapter 29

**Authors note: hey everyone. Just wanna apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes. I don't tend to proof read my chapters. Instead, I trust my spell check to do all the work. So, any more spelling or grammar mistakes from hear on out, I apologize. But feel free to point them out. I mean, I won't change them but feel free.**

* * *

Once again, Jess was awoken to the sound of the workers. Thank god their gonna be done soon he thought. He slipped on another pair of baggy pants and another band t-shirt (the Ramones), then he made his way downstairs. The other three men were up, Bobby and Ennis sitting at the table while Jack was at the counter reading the paper.

"Mornin" Jack said.

"Hi" Jess said, pouring his coffee.

"Now, you know Ennis and I are headin' up ta Kellyville today right?" Jack said to Jess as he sat down. He nodded.

"We should be back around four," he continued. Once again, Jess nodded.

"Ya still goin' ta the drive threw with Lois?" Ennis asked. Jess nodded once more.

"And yer gonna call us when the movie's done right?" Jess nodded again.

"Can ya answer me without noddin' yer head".

Jess held back a sharp retort and said "yes. I'll call you" faggot. For some reason, Jess was in a real fowl mood. He couldn't figure out why, he just felt really agitated and ready to lash out. Ennis must have suspected this cause he gave Jess a hard look when he answered.

"Since we're gonna be gone fer the day" Ennis said "we need Bobby and you ta do the ranch work today". Jess nodded, taking another sip of his coffee.

When they were done, Jess and Bobby followed the two men to the ranch and began work. Jess had gotten a lot better at doing ranch work, not unlike back in August when he got dirtied up in pig filth. Now he could actually get through the work without getting so grimy and he didn't become sore any more from the work.

Normally, he would be proud of this accomplishment but he wasn't. Jess felt that he was slowly fading away from the person he used to be, that his life in New York was simply fading away into the backdrop. It wasn't like he was ashamed of the person he had become but he just still couldn't come to grasps with this new life he was given.

He just felt torn between these two lives. The one he had in New York and the one he now had here in Shattuck.

Jess did his work in stony silence, nodding whenever Jack or Ennis gave him a job to do. Bobby obviously sensed something was wrong but whenever he tried to talk to Jess about it, he would simply say its nothing and go back to his work, eyes darkened.

When noon came around, Jack and Ennis took off for Kellyville leaving Bobby and Jess to finish up the rest of the work. Because they had the help of the ranch hands, the only thing they really had to do was clean out the horse stalls.

Jess never really got around to learning the ranch hands names, simply referring to them as ranch hand 1, 2, 3, and so forth. So far, Jack and Ennis had hired five ranch hands to help out. The men were mostly in their early, mid, or late twenties, Jess wasn't really sure. Two of them were there to help Jess or Bobby out on one of the choirs while the others worked on some other task that needed looking after.

Jess was right now cleaning out one of the stalls, Bobby in the one next to him.

"Do ya think we shoulda told them about…" Bobby began but Jess cut him off.

"It ain't serious yet" Jess said, "no one has come with pitchforks in hand calling for our heads".

"But I still think we should tell them" Bobby said.

Jess stopped his work and looked at Bobby "look, most people only assume that it was the ranting of a angry drunken teen. Most aren't taking it any farther". Bobby still looked uncertain. Jess sighed, this is gonna be tougher then I thought okay might as well give him what he wants.

"Look" Jess said "if it will make you feel better…you can tell them about it".

"Wait, I?" Bobby said "why not us?"

"You wanna tell them so badly, go ahead" Jess said coldly "as for me, I could care less what these towns people think". He went back to work, shoulders bunched and his eyes dark. Bobby didn't go any farther, he probably could tell Jess was in one of his moods, so it was best to just leave him be.

* * *

They soon pulled up to the ranch after a thirty-minute drive. They parked their car on the small dirt path that led to the ranch. Ennis climbed out of the car and followed Jack up to the small house on the outskirts of the ranch. They climbed onto the porch and Jack knocked on the door.

A few moments later, a man appeared at the door. He was a tall man with extremely light brown hair and a withdrawn face that sported a neatly trimmed beard.

"Mr. Kaminski?" Jack said.

"Who's askin?" he said in a deep voice, which surprised Ennis a bit.

"I'm Jack Twist and this here's my partner Ennis Del Mar" Ennis tipped his hat "we called ya a few weeks ago bout a business proposal?"

Mr. Kaminski looked at them a moment "ya'll from Shattuck right?"

"Yes sir" Jack said.

"Oh, well come on in" he opened the door to allow them to enter. Jack and Ennis took a seat at the kitchen table, an unsightly looking metal thing with a few rust stains on the side.

"Sorry if I sounded rough" he said "jus' thought you was another one of Denison's folk. Always comin' every day tryin' ta buy me out, even when I keep sayin' no ta them".

"Well, we ain't one o' his people" Jack said.

The man nodded "can I get ya a beer?"

"That be nice" Jack said in a pleasant voice.

"Same" Ennis said. Mr. Kaminski headed over to the fridge and returned with three bottles of beer. He handed one to Ennis and Jack, then took a seat in the vacant chair. Ennis flipped off the cap and took a nice sip, Jack and Kaminski doing the same.

Then, Kaminski put down his beer and cleared his throat "so, ya was talkin' bout a business deal?"

"Yes sir" Jack said, "We was hopin' that maybe ya be interested in a partnership?" Ennis sat there and watched Jack go to work. He was a heck of a businessman and once he had an idea he liked, he tended to keep going at it till he got it.

Kaminski gave them hard looks "like what? Buyin' me out?"

"No no" Jack said "we don' wanna buy ya out Mr. Kaminski. No, we were thinkin' more along the lines of a joints partnership".

The man took another sip of his beer "like?"

"Well" Jack said, "We sorta share our business together, fifty-fifty. So like, we share the cattle, income, repair work, stuff like that".

Kaminski tapped on his beer bottle "sounds like a reasonable agreement…there any catch?"

"Nope, not at all" Jack said "no bull shit whatsoever".

Kaminski nodded and took another swig of his beer "n'all right, tell me more".

For the next two hours, the men discussed this new arrangement. How the shares would be handled, profit margins, income, and many other issues. Jack kept on going like an expert, knowing exactly the right thing to say and never pressing to hard on a subject. To Ennis, he was fucking amazing. Finally, after a long talk, Kaminski agreed to the partnership. As they walked out of the house to the car, Jack seemed to be walking on air.

"You seem awful happy" Ennis said with a smirk on his face.

"Oh shut up" Jack said, pushing Ennis slightly "yer as happy as I am".

"Maybe" Ennis said as they got into the car. He then started the car up and pulled of down the road back into the town limits.

Ennis looked over at Jack, who still seemed to be on an infinite high "ya know Jack" Ennis said, "This calls for a celebration".

Jack's eyes twinkled "and what sorta celebration did ya have in mind?"

Ennis smirked "it's a surprise…ya jus' gonna hafta wait till we get in bed ta find out".

* * *

Jess was soon done with all his work while Bobby said he would finish up the other tasks. So he headed back to the house and turned on the TV. As usual, there was nothing on except for soap operas and religious programming. He eventually settled on watching some kind of news program.

He looked over at the clock. 3: 32, Jack and Ennis should be back soon he thought. Then, he heard a knock at the door.

Jess turned his head in puzzlement, who the hell could that be? He thought. Getting up he walked over to the door and opened it.

Standing on the porch was a lean looking man in a business suit carrying a black briefcase. His black hair stuck up in odd tufts and he had a pair of startling blue eyes on his withdrawn face.

"Uh" Jess said, "who are you?"

"The names Clark" he said "Clark Perdinack. I'm lookin' for a Jessie Beers? I'm his social worker".

"That's me," Jess said in a confused voice. If Jess remembered, his social worker was a large bald man with a red face, big nose, and bushy mustache.

"Uh, not to be rude" Jess said "but, you don't look like my social worker".

"Well that was when you lived in New York" Clark said "I'm yer new social worker".

"Oh" Jess said.

"Can I come in?" he said. Jess opened the door and allowed the man in. he took a seat at the kitchen table and opened his briefcase. Jess sat down across from him as he took out a file. He flipped through it a bit before putting it down.

"Okay Jessie" he said in a straightforward voice "basically I'm here ta check up on ya, see how yer doin' at yer new home".

Jess nodded "okay" he said.

The man took out a notepad and a pen "so, do ya like it here?" he asked.

Jess shrugged "pretty much".

He jotted something down on the pad "is it any different from livin' with yer ma?"

"A little" Jess said.

"How so?"

He shrugged "maybe a bit more strict, hardworking," dad's in love with a man "other then that no".

"So, your mom was less strict?"

"A bit" Jess said "I mean, she had her rules but other then that".

He jotted down more notes "now, were you and yer father close before?"

"No" Jess said "I hadn't seen him since I was three".

"Why?" the man asked.

"Mom wouldn't allow it" Jess said.

"Why?" he asked again.

"Things between my parents were very rough after the divorce, especially my mom" Jess said "she thought it be best if my dad didn't see me".

"Why?" the man asked for the third time.

Because he cheated on her with a man "just thought it be for the best".

"Would you say yer dad is a good person?"

"Ya" Jess said.

"So he's never been abusive?"

Well, not all the time "nope" Jess said, "just a bit strict that's all". The man nodded and jotted some more in his notepad. Jess almost felt like he was being interrogated by the F.B.I. with all these questions being fired at him.

"Yer dad home?" the man asked.

"No" Jess said, "he's out at the moment…but, he should be back soon".

He nodded again "is it jus' you and yer dad?"

"No" Jess said.

"Who else lives here?" he asked.

His lover and his son "um, a friend of his and his son".

"Their names?" he said.

"Jack Twist and Bobby Twist" Jess replied, while the man jotted more notes down.

"So yer dad ain't married?"

"No".

"And this Jack fella? He also not married?" Jess nodded.

"And is Jack good ta you?" he asked.

"Ya, pretty much" Jess said.

"And how old is the son?"

"Seventeen" Jess said, getting pretty tired of all these questions.

"And does he treat you well?"

"Yes" Jess said, agitation creeping into his voice. He was already in a bad enough mood as it was and right now this man wasn't helping at the least. He heard the door opened and turn to see Bobby walking in. he looked at the man in confusion.

"Bobby" Jess said, "this is my social worker, he's here to check up on me".

"Oh, okay" Bobby said, closing the door "um, hi" he said to the man.

Perdinack nodded "hello" he said politely "nice ta meet ya Bobby. If ya don' mind, can I talk ta Jess here in private?"

Bobby looked at Jess, uncertain if he should leave. Jess nodded for him to go, so he continued on up the stairs.

The man flipped a page on his notebook and wrote some more stuff "how is school goin' for ya?" he said, continuing as if nothing had happened.

"Okay" Jess said.

"And how do ya feel about the town?"

It's too small "its okay" Jess said, now ready for this man to leave. Then, he heard a truck pull up. Jack and Ennis must be home he thought.

"That yer dad?" Perdinack asked.

"Think so" Jess said. He heard the sound of footsteps coming up and soon the door opened. To Jess's utter horror, Ennis and Jack were all over each other, faces only inches apart from one another.

"Oh god damn it" Jess whispered, rubbing his head in frustration and anger. He coughed loudly and the two men looked over and saw the man at the table. Ennis instantly pulled away from Jack.

"Jack, Ennis" Jess said, "this is Mr. Perdinack, he's my social worker".

"Oh uh" Ennis said, trying to regain his composure "nice ta meet ya".

The man nodded "uh, Mr. Del Mar is it?" Ennis nodded "hi, I'm Clark Perdinack, yer son's social worker and are you Mr. Twist?"

"Yes sir" Jack said "there some sorta problem?"

"No" Perdinack said politely "I was jus' talkin' ta Jess here bout how things were goin' here. I was wonderin' if I could talk ta ya Mr. Del Mar bout a few things?"

Ennis shrugged "uh, ya sure, okay. What about?".

"Jus' a few questions, that's all" he said. Ya right Jess said by a few you mean a hundred. However, he was glad that it was over and he didn't have to repeat himself over and over to this guy.

He nodded "okay Jess, thanks for yer time, I now hafta talk to yer dad for a moment okay?" Jess nodded.

Perdinack got up and walked over to the door "I was hopin' we could talk in private?" Ennis shrugged okay. He then followed the man outside.

"Was wonderin' who's car that was outside" Jack said as the door closed.

"Then ya shouldn't have been all over each other," Jess snapped, getting up and walking to the stairs.

Before he went up, he turned to face Jack "Bobby's got something to tell ya". He then headed up to his room.

* * *

The social worker asked Ennis the usual questions. How was Jess doing, getting into any trouble, how he was as a father, and a bunch of other questions.

"Okay Mr. Del Mar" the man said, "I think I'm about done here, jus' need ta ask ya a few more questions".

"Okay" Ennis said, glad that it was over.

"What association do ya have with Mr. Twist?"

"Business partners" he replied.

"And how long have ya been livin' together?"

"Bout thirteen years" Ennis said.

"Have you ever thought bout buyin' ye own place?"

Ennis shrugged "not really, don' see the point".

The man nodded and scribbled some more on his notepad "so, besides business partners, there anythin' else I need ta know?"

"Not really" Ennis said.

Perdinack looked at Ennis "are ya sure?"

"Ya I'm sure" Ennis said a bit hotly.

The man bit his lip a bit "uh, I don't mean ta pry here Mr. Del Mar but…how close are ya ta Mr. Twist?"

"I don't see how that's any of yer business" Ennis snapped.

"It is my business Mr. Del Mar" he said firmly.

Ennis was about to say something nasty but held it in "I dunno, we like friends and such but other then that…"

He still didn't seem satisfied by Ennis's answer "are ya sure?"

"Yes I'm sure" Ennis said, "I already told ya, we jus' friends".

Perdinack tapped his pen on his notepad "look Mr. Del Mar, I would really appreciate it if ya told me the truth".

Ennis looked at him angrily "and what might that be?" he said in a dangerous voice.

The man looked at him calmly "are you and Mr. Twist more then jus' friends? I mean…are you two involved with one another?"

Ennis just wanted to throttle this man right where he stood but he kept his cool and said "no" in a very low voice.

Perdinack shrugged "if ya say so" he said writing something else down "well, I think I'm done here" good Ennis thought get your ass out of here.

"I will come back in around March or so ta see how things are doin'. Here's my card, be sure ta give it ta Jess. And, I'll see ya later". He then put away his notepad and pen, snapped his briefcase shut and headed off for his car.

Walking back into the house, he saw Jack and Bobby waiting at the table, Jess nowhere to be found.

"What did he want?" Jack asked.

"Jus' needed me ta ask a few questions" he said "nothin' serious. Where's Jess?"

"Upstairs" Jack said "but before you go, Bobby has somethin' ta tell us".

"Oh really?" Ennis said "what?"

* * *

**Authors note: keep reviewing everyone, much appreciated as always.**


	31. Chapter 30

November 10, 1982

I remember reading Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf back when I was thirteen years old. At first, I absolutely hated the book. For one, the book takes place in just a single day and centers around this absolutely insane woman. She is constantly streaming in and out of her mind, jumping back and forth in time in the most random places, and just seemingly dawdles on forever about getting flowers for her party. It just seemed like this patchwork of a book written by an author who was no better she.

See, Virginia Woolf was an extremely unstable woman, certified as completely mad in the last years of her life. She barely ventured out of her house, suffered from depression most of her life, had rapid mood swings like a bipolar person, and was actually rumored to be a lesbian, marrying only to fulfill society's duties. In the end, she just walks out of her house one day, stuffs rocks into her pockets, and drowns herself in a river.

And it is this mess of a woman who is hailed as one of the most modernist literary figures of the twentieth century? I mean, come on.

Then, it was only a year ago when I read Mrs. Dalloway again and I fell in love with the book. I saw it for the little things that made it a great book and actually appreciated the writing from a conscious mind and felt Mrs. Dalloway was a revolution of a character.

Living here in Shattuck, I feel as though I have become Virginia Woolf. It may sound crazy and maybe a bit demented but as I think about it more, me and her have more things in common then I originally thought. And it scares me.

Is this really someone I want to become? Or someone I am becoming? Some cold, emotionless, unstable person who one day heads down to the nearest river and drowns himself? Maybe I am thinking too much into this, maybe I am just rambling on about some book I read, nothing more.

Besides, I don't think there are any rivers nearby.

* * *

When Bobby told Jack and Ennis about what Doug had said, both men initially reacted the same. But after the shock was over, both had different opinions on what they should do.

Of course, both of them couldn't believe the event had happen. Or the fact Bobby got into a fight. It made them think that maybe they weren't as careful as they thought and maybe others in the town knew about them. Then, after a few moments both men had decided on a different course of action to take.

Jack believed that maybe now was the time to just finally come out with it. If people already suspected it, they might as well not try and hide it anymore.

Ennis however would not have it. They should just keep going on as usual, try to keep low for a while until all this just blew over.

Of course, both men got into an argument over what they thought was the right decision. Jack would say, is it really so bad to just be honest with ourselves? Ennis would then argue if they were honest, they'd be dead a long time ago.

"So what did they do?" asked Lois as they ate their lunch.

"Well, they didn't tell people" Jess said, "that's pretty obvious. No, for the past week they've been cooped up back at the ranch, never coming out for anything".

"Nothin?" Lois said.

"Nope" Jess said "nothing, not even groceries. And right now, we're starting to run low. Personally, I think it is bullshit. Ennis is just making to much of a deal out of this, I mean no one has even mentioned the incident in awhile".

"He's just doin' what he thinks is right" Lois said, "he's just tryin' to protect the people he loves".

"Whatever" Jess said, taking another bite "still think its bullshit".

"You know, for once I jus' wish you didn't act like that" Lois said.

"Like what?" Jess asked.

Lois put down her pencil "look, I know you've gotten better with Jack and Ennis. But, it still seems like yer fightin' them".

Jess shrugged "I'm just opinionated. Is that so bad?"

"No, it ain't" Lois said "but…it jus'…I jus' don't think you've accepted them entirely".

"I've made peace with what they are," Jess said.

"See, that's what I'm sayin!" Lois exclaimed "what they are, you make it sound like they're some sorta defect".

"Well Lois" Jess said, "I mean, they kinda are. Men liking men, it ain't natural. I accept them for who they are, I'm only telling the truth".

Lois shook her head "okay fine, have it your way" she then went back to her drawing. Both were silent for a moment before she spoke again.

"If you truly accepted them, you wouldn't be sayin' somethin's wrong with them" she then went back to her drawing, the bell ringing after a few minutes.

The rest of the week continued like this. Ennis and Jack would stay at locked up in the ranch, only coming out to talk to Dan about how things were going and getting all the chores done. Every day, the fridge began to grow emptier and emptier, same with the pantry.

Finally, on Saturday morning, it had reached the final straw for Jess. He had woken up pretty early for him, usually being the last one up. He slipped on another of his baggy jeans and band t-shirt (the Clash) and then made his way downstairs. No one else was up and it seemed like the workers were just getting in. Jess was so glad they would only be here for another week before they were done at last. He was looking forward to no more rude awakenings.

Feeling hungry, he opened the fridge to find almost nothing inside. Just a few cans of beer, half a gallon of milk, and some leftover roast. He then went over to the pantry to find no more cereal left. So much for a balanced breakfast Jess thought.

Then, he went over to the coffee machine and saw in horror…there was none. That was it that was all Jess could take. It was one thing to be empty on food but when there was no more coffee left, that was taking it to far. Unless he got his cup of coffee, he was going to be one pissed off teen.

Turning around, he headed up the stairs, went to Ennis and Jack's door, opened it and walked in to see them both sleeping in their beds, shirtless, and the covers almost thrown off completely. But this time, Jess didn't care; there were far more important matters to deal with.

"Ennis, get up" Jess said, Ennis and Jack groggily waking. When Ennis saw Jess standing at the door, he pulled the covers up quickly.

"What is it?" he said in a grumpy voice.

"We are going to the grocery store. We are all out of food and there is no more coffee, so put on some clothes, and get your ass downstairs" Jess then walked out, not bothering with a response. It was not a suggestion, it was an order. He closed the door, and headed downstairs. Pulling out a chair, he waited, foot tapping on the floor.

Ennis came shuffling down the stairs, still buckling his belt in.

"Here's your keys and wallet," Jess said, throwing him them "lets go". He then headed for the door with Ennis reluctantly following him to the car.

As they began to drive, Jess saw Ennis tapping on the steering wheel, biting at his fingernails. Oh give me a break Jess thought it's just the grocery store.

"Ennis, quit worrying" Jess said, "We're just going to the grocery store. Believe me there is nothing to worry about". Ennis mumbled something, causing Jess to roll his eyes.

Once the pulled up to the grocers, Ennis seemed to be a ball of nerve. For goodness sake Jess thought quit acting like such a big baby.

"Come Ennis" Jess said, "This will be over before you know it. Besides, its early in the morning so no one will be here". This seemed to calm him a bit but Jess could tell he was still pretty nervous.

Like Jess had predicted, no one was inside the store. Grabbing a cart, they began to push through down the aisles. First things first, Jess immediately grabbed the coffee mix, and then they began to pick up cereal, meats, cheese, and any other necessities. A few more people soon entered the place and Ennis's nerves once again began to spike.

As they were down one aisle, he looked like he was about to bolt when someone else entered.

"Ennis, its fine" Jess said "she isn't looking at us. So stop acting so…twitchy". They eventually got done with everything and made their way to the cashier where Mr. Madera was working.

"Hey Jess," he said, bursting into a smile "how are things goin?"

"Fine Mr. Madera" Jess said, loading on the groceries "oh, this is my dad Ennis. Ennis, this is Lois's dad".

Mr. Madera extended a hand "please ta meet cha".

Ennis shook it "same".

"Lois had told me all about ya" Mr. Madera continued.

"Really?" he said cautiously.

"Ya" he continued "all bout yer ranch business, Jack and Bobby, and of course Jess. I swear, she can't get enough of ya'll. By the way, how's the expanding goin?"

"Uh" Ennis said "um, fine. Ya, its goin' real nice".

"Well, bravo for you" he said, "Personally, I'd never have the guts ta do somethin' like that. But then again that's jus' me, the manager of a grocery store. Anyway, yer total comes ta seventy one and eighty three cents". Ennis shuffled through his wallet before handing over the right amount.

"Well, it was nice meetin' ya" Mr. Madera said "talk ta ya soon. And I hope ta have ya over more often Jess".

"I'll try sir" Jess replied, taking some of the groceries and following Ennis outside to the car.

"At least I know where she got that mouth," Ennis muttered. Jess smiled at this but before Ennis could see, quickly wiped it away. They put the groceries in the back seat, climbed back into the car, and made there way back to the house.

As soon as they got home, the first thing Jess did was grab the coffee mix and head into the house to prep it. Jack and Bobby had gotten up by now, both at the table eating what was left from the fridge.

"Thank Jesus" Jack said as they entered "you got food".

Jess went to the coffee maker and began to prepare while Jack, Ennis, and Bobby began to unload the groceries.

"You didn't happen to pick up the lube?" Jack whispered to Ennis. Jess shivered.

"Sorry rodeo" said Ennis "gonna hafta wait till next week". This made Jess feel a bit better. After a few minutes, Ennis told Jack and Bobby that he'd finish up here. So the two men stepped out of the house, leaving only Ennis and Jess inside the kitchen.

"Shouldn't you be goin' ta help Jack and Bobby?" he asked.

"Not till I get my coffee" Jess replied.

"That's gonna take awhile" Ennis said.

"And whose fault is that?" Jess shot back. They fell silent for a moment, Jess taking a seat at the table while Ennis finished putting away the groceries.

"You know Ennis" Jess said, "I really think you're taking this whole thing to far". Ennis put away the last of the food.

"Really?" he asked "how so?"

"Well I mean, it's not just this" Jess said, "You always act like this whenever…well, you and Jack come up. I mean, even the smallest comment will get you going over the edge".

Ennis walked over to the table "I don' go over the edge, I'm jus' a bit more cautious when Jack and me come up".

"Cause if people found out" Jess said "their gonna come with pitchforks and torches. I know already but…will they?"

Ennis looked at Jess "you won't know how people will react until you tell them" Jess said, "I mean, I ain't forcing you to tell people. Heck, you can go on believing your whole life that if people found out you'll end up just like that old man".

Jess paused for a moment "but a piece of advice. When people act like you do, cautious and wary of every little thing, they can push people away…until there left all alone". Ennis's face darkened and his shoulders began to hunch up.

"You know Ennis" Jess said "if you had never asked Jack to start this life with you…"

"What?" Ennis asked.

Jess took a deep breath "I think you would have ended up all alone, living in some run down trailer park, with no one to blame for your sadness except yourself. And all you'd ever have of Jack would be those shirts upstairs…and that postcard".

A deep silence entered the room before Ennis spoke "why are ya actin' like this?"

"Like what?" Jess asked.

"Like you actually care about me and Jack" he finished.

Jess got up "I don't" he said flatly "I'm only telling the truth" he paused "I think I'll just go right now. I can wait for my coffee" Jess then headed to the door, put on his sneakers, and headed outside.

* * *

"Jess, Lois's on the phone," Jack said, walking into Bobby's room. Jess was helping him on his math homework when Jack came in.

"All right" Jess said, "be right back". He got up and headed downstairs to the kitchen and picked up the phone.

"Hey Lois" he said.

"Hey Jess," she said, "this may sound a bit short noticed but wanna head to the drive threw tonight?"

"Hang on" Jess put the phone on his shoulder and turned to Ennis, who was sitting in the TV room with Jack.

"Is it all right if I go see a movie with Lois?" he asked flatly.

"Sure" Ennis said "yer gonna be home on time?"

"Yes Ennis" Jess said crossly.

"Fine, go" he said.

Jess put the phone to his ear "they said it's all right. What are we seeing?"

"Well, I was hopin' we could go and see Missing".

"Isn't that with Jack Lemmon and Sissy Spacek?" he asked.

"Uh…I dunno," she said.

"Well, you do know it's supposed to be a depressing film" Jess said.

"Well, there's nothin' else I wanna see".

Jess sighed, "okay, I'll go. What time you coming?"

"Pick ya up at about seven" Lois replied.

"Fine" Jess said "I'll see you later".

"Bye"

"Bye" he then hung up the phone and made his way back upstairs and into Bobby's room.

"Okay where did we leave off" Jess said, picking up Bobby's homework.

"Who was that?" Bobby asked.

"Lois" Jess replied "we're going to the drive threw tonight". He heard Bobby give a low chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Jess asked.

"Nothin" Bobby said, a big grin on his face "its jus', when are the two of ya gonna go out already?"

"We're just friends" Jess said flatly "besides. Your one to be talking, when was the last time you had a girlfriend". When he didn't here an answer from Bobby, it suddenly dawned on him.

"Wait" Jess said, turning around "have you…ever had a girlfriend?"

"Ya!" Bobby said quickly.

"Name one" Jess said, crossing his arms.

"Um, uh…Allie" Bobby said.

"Allie who?" Jess asked.

"Uh…uh…Allie Katz" Bobby replied a bit shakily.

"And does this Allie Katz happen to go to our school?" Jess asked monotonously.

"Uh, ya" Bobby said, almost as if Jess had said a dumb question. Jess gave Bobby one of his cold stares.

"You're lying Bobby" Jess said "and believe me, I know when someone's lying". Bobby drummed his fingers a bit, his head lowered.

Jess's eyes got big "holy shit, you've never had a girlfriend before" he didn't answer, still intent at staring down at the floor.

"Wait, does that mean that…" Jess let it hang for a moment before it dawned on him "you're a virgin?"

"No" Bobby said crossly. Jess gave him another of his stares "besides, your one to be talkin" Bobby said.

"Uh, a little bit of news for ya" Jess said "I've already done it".

Bobby looked up at him in surprise "y-ya have?"

"Ya" Jess said "last year, my old girlfriend Anna" Bobby didn't respond.

"Okay, so I've never had a girlfriend before" Bobby said "that a problem?"

"No" Jess said "its just that…well, I would have at least suspected you'd done it with a few girls. I mean, what's the problem?"

Bobby shrugged "I dunno, its jus…I can't talk ta girls. Whenever I do, I jus' sorta get a little…nervous".

"And it ain't like you can go to your dad for help either" Jess said almost to himself, causing Bobby to give him a sharp look.

"There's nothing to be nervous about" Jess said "its just like talking to any other person, except she has no dick and has bigger breast then you".

"That doesn't' help" Bobby said.

Jess rolled his eyes "okay look, here's what you have to do. You just walk up to someone you've known for awhile, begin to talk to them like you'd normally would if she was a friend, then you ask her if she's doing anything on a certain night, wait for her answer, then tell her you will pick her up at a certain time. Its as easy as that".

"What if she says no?" Bobby asked.

"That's just a risk you'll have to take" Jess said "besides, you'll never know what a girl will say unless you ask her". Bobby still looked a bit unsure. Oh crap Jess thought I'm gonna have to dig deep here.

"Okay, first, is there any girl you like?" Jess asked.

Bobby shuffled a bit "well, there is…"

"Out with it" Jess said.

"Tammy Clark" he said.

"Don't know her," Jess said "she in your grade?"

Bobby nodded "we have English together".

"Perfect" Jess said, "Now, have you actually…talked to her?"

"We've known each other awhile" Bobby said "I mean, I wouldn't say we're friends, more like…"

"Acquaintances?" Jess finished his sentence.

"I guess" Bobby said.

"Okay then" Jess said, "Ask her out".

Bobby looked at him dumb founded "you ain't serious?"

"You've already said you like her" Jess said.

"But what if she says no?" Bobby asked.

"See, here's your problem Bobby" Jess said "you keep contradicting yourself, saying you can't do it or she'll say no or I ain't good enough, all excuses. Look, you got nothing to worry about. You're a nice guy, you're athletic, and you're easy on the eyes. I mean, your no Warren Beatty but…your okay".

"Thanks" Bobby said sarcastically "that helps a lot".

"No, I'm serious" Jess said, "You're a great guy Bobby. Heck, if I was girl I fuck you in a heartbeat" Bobby looked at him in shock.

"I'm joking Bobby" Jess said "sheesh, don't take things so seriously. Okay, all kidding aside, just ask her. You got nothing to lose, only gain. I ain't forcing ya to do it like this week, just wait until you think the time is right, then go for it".

"Well" Bobby said, "I guess…okay, I'll try".

"That's the spirit," Jess said. Then, he heard the Jack call for him, saying Lois was here.

"Oh shit," Jess said, "okay, I gotta go. Now, you are gonna ask this…Tammy person on a date right?"

"Ya" he said.

"Okay" Jess said, heading for the door "now, I ain't asking ya to do it this week but sometime in the next month okay?" Bobby nodded.

Jess then headed out before turning around and sticking his head back in "oh and finish your math homework". Then, he headed downstairs where Lois was waiting.

"Hey" she said "ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Jess said, putting on his shoes.

"Remember to call us when the movies over" Ennis said before Jess headed out the door.

"I know, I know" Jess said, shutting the door behind him and getting into Lois's car. She then turned on the ignition and pulled of down the driveway.

* * *

**Authors note: keep reviews coming people**


	32. Chapter 31

The workers were officially done the following Saturday and for Jess, it was like Christmas had come early. No more stepping on nails, no more saw dust in the face, no more ducking incoming planks, and especially, no more rude awakenings.

When the final tractors were removed that day, the four had to look at what a large sum of money bought them. There was no doubt, the farm now looked like a professional business, not you're every day run of the mill ranch.

The barn had been expanded and refurnished, the fencing, sties, horse stalls, pens, and holding areas were all expanded as well. They had doubled their cattle count, built their office area, and finally, got an official name for the farm. **Brokeback Ranch.** Jess thought it was a bit clichéd but hey, we wasn't the one who named the damn thing.

"Well, we've done it" Jack said, slinging an arm over Ennis "it was a long process but we did it".

"Ya" Ennis said "now all we hafta do is wait fer the paycheck to come in to see how much this is gonna cost us".

"Now don't say that cowboy," Jack said, "we already have three partnerships up and ready and come this Sunday, its goin' to become four partnerships".

"Its real nice dad" Bobby said.

Jess shrugged "its all right". Of course, he got unenthused stares from the three men. What? He thought I don't really give a damn, I'm just glad I'll get a decent sleep for now on.

"Well come on" Jack said, "we might as well break the place in and git to work". Jess rolled his eyes but followed the three men to work.

Nothing much happened the rest of the weekend. That is until Sunday night came around. Jess and Lois had just returned from the drive threw, just finished seeing Victor/Victoria.

"Well" Jess said "that was enjoyable".

"Ya" Lois said "who would have thought a film bout cross-dressin' would be enjoyable".

"Well, if it has Julia Andrews" Jess said "then you know it will be enjoyable".

Lois laughed at this "okay, see ya at school tomorrow".

"Bye" Jess said, getting out of the car and walking up to the door. Walking in, he saw Ennis was in the living room watching TV.

"I'm back," Jess said, slipping his shoes off.

"How's the movie?" Ennis asked. Jess shrugged and headed over to the fridge, pulling out a Dr. Pepper. Now that Jess accompanied Jack to the grocery store, he made sure to get some actual pop into the house.

"Where's Jack and Bobby?" Jess asked.

"Headed ta bed" he said "and you should be doin' the same, ya got school tomorrow".

"I know Ennis" Jess said crossly, snapping the top of his pop bottle "I'm not stupid. Just let me finish my drink" he downed a large swig of the drink, not minding the harsh taste running down his throat.

Jess noticed Ennis get up and walk over to him "uh, fore you go upstairs, can I talk ta ya fer a few minutes?" oh fuck me hard Jess thought what now?

"Ya?" he said coldly.

Ennis shuffled a bit "well uh, its been somethin' I've been thinkin' bout since…well last week?"

"Well what is it?" Jess asked.

He took a deep breath "well, I'm thinkin' bout tellin' people…"

Jess waited for him to finish but it seemed it couldn't spit it out "tell people what?" Jess asked "out with Ennis".

"Bout Jack and me" Ennis said.

Jess was in the middle of taking another drink when he said this, stopping him dead. He lowered the bottle from his lips and swallowed.

"Well there's something you don't hear everyday" Jess said.

* * *

It was something that had plagued Ennis for a long time now. At first, the idea of actually telling people about him and Jack would have been completely insane. But after nearly thirteen years of living together, the idea didn't seem so entirely insane. Not to mention the fact that the Halloween party incident didn't stop Ennis from thinking that maybe he and Jack hadn't been as careful as they should have. Who's to say others suspected something was up between them? if no one had bothered to point it out, that must mean that at least accept them in some way, right?

Ennis still had his fears, heck he always had these fears when he and Jack were together. Though he loved Jack deeply, he couldn't help but feel ashamed at what he was and he couldn't stop to worry about the consequences that would come with it.

To him, it would be a death sentence.

But then again, moving in with Jack thirteen years ago seemed like a death sentence also. And after thirteen years, their still here.

Maybe it was time for Ennis to put aside all his worries and the memories of his past and take one more step forward. Maybe now was the time to be true to himself, true to Jack, to Bobby, and even Jess.

It might have seemed odd to talk to Jess about whether or not he should…well, come out with it. But then again, Jess was the smartest person he knew, no joke. So when he saw the reaction on his face when he told Jess about his idea, he thought that maybe he had done the wrong thing.

"Well there's something you don't hear everyday" Jess said. He set his pop bottle down and took a seat at the table.

"Why now?" Jess asked "why after all these years?"

Ennis shrugged "dunno…change maybe".

Jess nodded "change" he said in a whisper "I'm sorry Ennis but I don't think your being serious".

"How so?" Ennis asked as he took a seat across from him.

"Well" Jess said "like I said before, you get very defensive when it comes to you and Jack. You start to twitch a lot and your defenses go up. And I think you made it pretty clear that you did not want to tell people about…well, your lifestyle". He said lifestyle in a very disdained voice.

"That's true" Ennis said.

"So tell me the truth then" Jess said "why now?"

Ennis took a breath "well, to be honest, I've been ashamed of what I am for a long time. Never told anyone that but I know that Jack senses it. And for once, I don't wanna be ashamed for lovin' him. I jus' been so wrapped up in the past and what'll happen ta him if we told people, that I could never truly accept myself. And for once…I do wanna accept myself. I wanna except I love Jack, I like men, that I'm…gay".

Jess stared at him, his face unchanged, eyes hard but listening. There was silence for a few moments before Jess spoke again.

"Maybe you aren't as ignorant as I thought you were" Jess said, a slight hint of amusement in his voice "you really wanna do this?"

Ennis was silent for a long time before nodding "ya" he said "its jus…"

"Your afraid of what people might do" Jess said. Ennis nodded solemnly.

Jess took a breath "look Ennis, here's the thing. We live in a fucked up country, that's the basics of it. No matter what, you will always find intolerant people and for your case, most of them will be intolerant. It's not like for straight people who can walk down the street and hold hands without being looked on or scolded. The thing of it is, you just gotta shrug it off".

Jess paused for a moment "at school, I am always looked at like I did something wrong because of the way I dress. They shun me, call me names like freak, devil worshiper, drug user, and a lot of other things".

Ennis looked at him "they do that ta ya?"

"Ya" Jess said.

"Why didn' ya tell us?" he asked.

"Because I don't care," Jess said, "do you really think I care what a bunch of high school kids think? In a few years, I'll never see them again". Jess paused for a moment.

"You really want my advice?" Jess said, "If you wanna do it…do it. But I suggest waiting awhile. Right now, we are in a very precarious situation, you and Jack are trying to expand the business and if you told people about Jack and you. Well, lets just say we'll go under faster then the Titanic". Jess got up and threw his bottle into the trash.

"So until everything smoothes over" Jess said "then you can proclaim to the world". Jess began to walk up the stairs before turning around to face Ennis.

"and i don't know if this will help ya but according to a Gallup Poll, about 49 of American's accept that homosexuality is normal",

Ennis looked at him "really?"

Jess nodded "pretty much". Jess then headed upstairs, leaving Ennis at the table, as rigid as a statue.

* * *

Ennis and Jack were both heavily kissing one another. Wrapped in a tight embrace, Jack over him, all clothes off, it would have been enjoyable if Ennis didn't have this nagging voice in the back of his mind.

He wanted to tell Jack but he just didn't think he had the strength to. Sure his talk with Jess had helped him, but he was still mulling over the situation, not sure whether to tell Jack he wanted to tell people or not. And no matter how hard he kissed Jack, no matter how close he pressed his body against his, no matter how hard he fucked him; he just couldn't silence the voice.

Ennis hiked a bit when Jack planted a deep kiss on him, his mouth slowly wandering down his neck, hand grasped on Ennis's hard.

"Jack" he said in a hissed voice as Jack began to suck on one of his sensitive spots, hand stroking him. "Jack" he said again through gritted teeth, Jack putting a hand behind his head and kissing him deeply, his other still working on Ennis.

"Jack" he said more loudly, putting a hand to Jack's face.

"Whats wrong?" he asked, blue eyes concerned.

"I gotta tell ya somethin," Ennis said.

"Can't it wait?" Jack asked, kissing Ennis again, his hand beginning to stroke him again.

"No Jack" he said, stopping Jack once again "it can't wait, its important".

"What is it?" Jack asked, eyes focused on Ennis.

He took a breath "there's been somethin' I've been thinkin' bout for awhile now. Somethin' important".

"What is it?" Jack asked, stroking a hand through Ennis's hair.

He swallowed a bit "well…" no going back now he thought; once you say this you have to follow through with it. No ifs, ands, or buts about it, you will have made your promise to this man and you have to follow it.

"What Ennis?" Jack asked, "you can tell me" he kissed him lightly "you can tell me anything". Do it already Del Mar he thought just do it.

Ennis took a deep breath and then "I wanna tell people…bout us".

Jack looked at him in surprise, looking as if someone had just punched him right across the face. Ennis felt his body waver a bit, as if losing strength and he seemed to be lost for words.

"Y-ya mean it?" Jack asked, his voice filled with astonishment "are ya sure bout this?"

Ennis nodded "I've thought long and hard about this…and why not? Its time ta stop livin' in the past".

Jack shook his head "I can't believe it…ya ain't foolin' me now right?"

"Would I fool bout somethin' like that?" Ennis asked. Jack grinned and gave Ennis a hard kiss, pulling him as close as he could.

Ennis pulled away slightly "I want ya inside me" he said in a whisper. Jack gave him another bewildered look. Three times in one year? That was probably a new record there.

"Are ya sure?" Jack asked.

Ennis nodded and kissed Jack back. He felt Jack pull Ennis's legs up a bit, getting into position. Then, he pushed in, Ennis exhaling a hiss as the potent sensation filled his body. Jack held him close, Ennis burying his head into his shoulder as he began to thrust, letting out moans of pleasure that kept Jack going faster.

Shutting his eyes, he began to see images flash through his mind. Images of men coming at them, tire irons in hand, ready for a beating. Images of their ranch and house set up in flames.

Jack started to pick up speed and began to hammer at Ennis, causing him to bury deeper into his shoulder, arms wrapping around him to pull him closer. All the while, the images kept coming to his mind. Images of Jack's bloodied body at the bottom of a ditch, images of people whispering and jeering at them for what they were.

Then, Jack began to climax and he started to dig deeper and soon Ennis was there to, letting out a moan of pleasure and fear. And then Ennis felt a slight tear run down his face.

Jack looked at him, worry in his eyes "what's wrong?" he asked.

Then, before Ennis could stop himself, he began to cry "I'm scared Jack" he said in a choked voice.

Jack brought a hand to his face "its all right" he said, bringing Ennis close to him "I'm here…I'm here…I won't let anythin' happen to you".

The two men remained like this all night, both wrapped in each other's arms, not wanting to let go. Ennis's kept his face buried into Jack's shoulder, breathing in deeply his scent, not wanting to lose him. He was so afraid, so afraid of what will come but he wanted to do it. He could do it…as long as Jack was there all the way through it.

The next morning, he awoke to find himself still wrapped in Jack's arms as he slowly breathed in and out. Ennis gently brushed aside a stray hair from Jack's forehead, admiring just how beautiful he was.

Then Ennis got to thinking about last night. Am I making the right choice? He thought or is this all one big mistake?

* * *

Thursday morning seemed like every other school morning for Bobby. Hardly anything interesting happened in his first class and he kept nodding off. However, during English class, he couldn't help but stare over at Tammy Clark.

Tammy Clark was a very pretty looking girl. A bit short in stature with medium cut brown hair and topaz colored eyes, she was one of the smartest kids in Bobby's grade and was one of the nicest people you could meet.

It had been over two weeks since his talk with Jess and he still hadn't worked up the courage to ask Tammy out on a date. There came a few times when he was this close to asking her but every time he tried to approach her he just buckle up and ditch the idea.

When the bell rung, he gathered his books and saw Tammy walking past him. Ask her he thought, just do it. Ain't no harm in trying right?

But as he opened his mouth to call her, he lost his nerve and shut his mouth quickly, instead making his way out of the classroom and to his locker.

"Hey" Jess said, walking up to his locker, which was only two down from Bobby's.

"Hey" he said, pulling out his books.

"You got homework in English?" asked Jess.

"Ya" said Bobby "we hafta read the first few chapters on this one Greek story. The illian, no that ain't right. The irian? The ill-"

"The Iliad?" finished Jess.

"Ya, that's it" Bobby said. Then, he spotted Tammy walking down the hall towards him.

"That her?" asked Jess, obviously spotting Bobby looking at her.

"Uh, ya" he said.

"Pretty" Jess said. Then, just as Tammy was near him, Bobby felt Jess push him right into her.

"Whoa, sorry there Tammy" Bobby said, almost heading into her.

"S'all right Bobby" she said in her sweet voice. Looking over her shoulder, he saw Jess mouthing 'ask her'. Great, he thought no more running now.

"Uh, Tammy" Bobby said, "there's somethin' I wanna ask ya".

"Sure Bobby" she said, "what is it?" at first, Bobby felt like just bolting but Jess was giving him a look that said to just ask her.

"Uh, ya doin' anythin' Saturday night?" he asked.

"No, not really" she said "why?"

Oh great, here it comes he thought "I was jus' wonderin' if maybe…if ya aren't doin' anythin" of course she ain't doing anything, she just said you idiot! Bobby was already failing miserably.

"Bobby" Tammy asked "are ya askin' me out? Cause if ya are, my answers yes".

"That's all right, I under…wait, you do?" said Bobby, a bit shocked by the answer.

"Course" she said, "I said yes didn't I? What didja have in mind?" think Bobby think! He thought. Looking over, he saw Jess mouth the words 'drive threw'.

"Uh, how's bout catchin' a movie at the drive threw?" he said.

"That sounds nice" she said, "I've wanted to go and see that one Jack Lemmon and Sissy Spacek film fer awhile now".

"N'all right" he said, "I'll pick ya up at seven?"

"Sure" she said "until then" she then leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek before walking away. Bobby felt himself warm up a bit and couldn't help but touching the place where she had kissed him.

"Now was that so hard?" asked Jess, appearing at his side "look at you, acting like some modern day Casanova. Wait, she said yes right?"

"Ya" Bobby said, still a bit dazed from it all.

"Even better" said Jess "watch out Warren Beatty, there's a new womanizer in this town. So, you decide what film to see?"

"She said somethin' bout a movie with Jack Lemmon in it" Bobby said.

"Missing" he said "such a good film. Well, as much as I'd love to stay here and get all the other juicy details, I need to head to class and so should you". Then Jess began to walk off down the hall.

The rest of the day seemed to be on an infinite high for Bobby, still couldn't believe that Tammy actually said yes.

* * *

**Authors note: sorry about the longer then usual wait. I've just been busy on my Heroes fanfic. Well, review people!**


	33. Chapter 32

"Well I think it nice that Bobby's goin' on a date with someone" Lois said as he told her about yesterday's event in the art class. It had gotten to cold to go and eat outside without it being comfortable. However Lois said that the teacher always lets her eat in her class during winter and says she doesn't mind as long as they cleaned up after themselves.

"I just still can't believe that Bobby's never been on a real date before" Jess said, taking a bite at his sandwich.

"Well, Bobby's always been a nice fella" she said "but he jus' doesn't know how ta talk ta girls".

"That's what he said" Jess replied "but still, if I can sum it up, I say at least all of his friends have gotten their cork popped once in their lives. I would have just figured he was the same".

"Well thank god he isn't" Lois said "otherwise, he be jus' like every other ass hole at this school. Sides, if given the chance, I'd do him".

"Lois!" Jess exclaimed.

"What?" she said, "he is kinda cute. Betcha he has a real big-"

"Okay, that's enough" Jess said quickly "did not need to hear that. Oh, bad mental picture".

"I'm only kiddin" Lois said, "sheesh, I put up with all yer sarcastic humor, I think that entitles me to put in one joke".

"Well not kind of joke!" Jess exclaimed.

Then, Saturday night rolled around. Jess was upstairs lying on Bobby's bed while he rummaged for a good shirt in his drawer.

"Whaddya think of this?" asked Bobby, holding up the thousandth shirt.

"Its super" Jess said sarcastically.

"Come on Jess!" Bobby exclaimed, "this is serious!" he went back to his drawer and went rummaging again.

"Bobby" Jess said "just pick a fucking shirt already. She isn't going to care".

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Trust me Bobby" Jess said, "Living in New York, you learn a lot of useful shit. And I am telling you she will not care what color shirt your wearing. Just pick one and settle with it".

"I think I liked ya better when you were an ass" Bobby said picking up another shirt.

"Aw Bobby, you made a joke" Jess said in a praising voice, "I'm so proud".

"Again, not helping!" Bobby exclaimed, still rummaging through the drawer.

"Oh for fucks sake!" Jess said, getting of the bed and shoving Bobby aside. Looking through a bit, he pulled out a shirt and shoved it at Bobby.

"Here" he said "where it, like it, no exceptions". Bobby reluctantly took it and threw it on him.

"There" Jess said "was that so hard?" Bobby mumbled something that Jess took as a yes.

"Okay" Jess said, leading Bobby out of the room "now, while on a date, just act like yourself. Don't do any of the macho or romantic bullshit you see on movies nowadays, girls like it best when you're acting like yourself".

"Okay" Bobby said.

"And try not to act nervous" Jess said "just pretend like your with a friend on any other day".

"Okay" Bobby said as they walked down the stairs.

"And most of all" Jess said "try not to move to fast, otherwise it will seem like your trying to get in her pants. Well I mean you do want her in your pants, but not on the first date. Unless if she's putting out, only then do you go at it".

"Okay" Bobby said.

"That was joke Bobby" Jess said, "Whenever a girl is putting it, it usually means she's looking for a one-night stand. And we all know those don't end well". They then reached the bottom where Jack and Ennis were sitting on the couch, Ennis's arm slung over behind Jack's head. Jess grimaced a bit at this.

"Hey there" Jack said, "ready for yer date?"

"Dad" Bobby said, going a little pink at this.

"Aw look" Ennis said, "Bobby's blushin".

"Ennis!" Bobby now turning red.

"Only kiddin' son" Jack said "ya have a good time now. Don't do anythin' we would do". Jess shuddered a bit.

"Look Bobby" Jess said "just remember, be yourself. And don't act so nervous, otherwise you'll start getting all twitchy like Ennis".

"Uh, thanks" Bobby said "I think".

"Believe me, you'll be thanking me" Jess said, "well, you better get going. Don't wanna keep her waiting now do we?"

"Oh shut up," Bobby said as he headed to the door to put on his boots.

"Have fun now" Jack said.

"Stay out s'long as you like" Ennis said teasingly, causing Bobby to go even redder before opening the door and heading out.

With nothing else to do, Jess walked over and took a seat in the separate chair from the couch.

"What are we watching?" he asked absently.

"News I think" Ennis said.

"I'm sick of news," Jess said "give me the remote, I think Three's Company is on".

"I ain't watchin' that shit" Ennis said.

"Well I ain't watching news" Jess shot back.

"Jack, whaddya say?" Ennis asked.

"I'd rather watch the news," Jack said.

"Of course, your gonna take his side" Jess said.

"Two ta one" Jack said, "We're watchin' the news".

Jess threw up his hands "fine" he said, getting up "I think I'll just go-" then before they could react, he grabbed the remote out from Ennis's hand.

"H-hey!" Ennis said, "give me back that remote".

"To bad" Jess said, flipping the channel to ABC where sure enough, Three's Company was on.

"That's not fair Jess" Jack said, "We was watchin' that first".

"Then go upstairs if ya don't like it" Jess said.

"Jess" Ennis said, getting up "now quit actin' like some spoiled kid. We was here first, so you're gonna respect what we wanna watch".

"Fine, here" Jess said, throwing the remote squarely at Ennis's chest "it was a repeat any way". He then got up before they could react and made his way upstairs.

* * *

Bobby was a bundle of nerves when he pulled up to Tammy's house. His hands were twitching and he felt his heart was racing. Okay, calm down Twist! He thought don't be nervous, don't be nervous.

Getting out of the car, he made his way up her lawn and onto her porch. Raising his hand to the door, he knocked quickly. Soon enough, he heard the sound of rustling feet coming to the door.

Bobby' felt his heart rate go up, his hands began to shake, and he felt nauseated. Come on Twist! Pull yourself together! He thought your acting like a complete nut! Just calm down, just calm down!

Then the door opened and Tammy appeared at the door "hey" she said in her sweet voice.

Bobby tried to say something but it sort of came out in a mish mash of words, like he was gurgling or something.

Tammy laughed a little "just give me a minute, I'll be right out" she then closed the door and Bobby heard her walk off. I blew it! He thought what the hell was that? You can't even manage a simple hi, she must think you're a complete idiot or something!

Bobby took a few deep breaths and paced the porch a little, trying to calm himself down but it seemed no matter what he tried, he felt like he was about to pass out.

Tammy appeared a few minutes later "ready?" she asked. Bobby nodded and led her down to the car. Wait he thought do I open the car door for her? Or is that too corny? Bobby seemed to go for the door but Tammy opened it instead and climbed on it. Shit he thought.

Not wanting to make a bigger fool of himself, he got into the drivers seat and started up the car.

The first few minutes were silent. He looked over to see Tammy looking out the window. Come on Bobby! He thought think of something to say! Just say anything so she doesn't think you're a complete ass!

Luckily, Tammy spared him of this "so" she said "how are things for you Bobby?"

Come on man! He thought she's talking to you say something! "Um…" he composed himself and then finally spat out "fine".

Tammy nodded "I here your daddy is expandin' his ranch business?"

"Ya" Bobby said, his voice slightly croaked.

"How's that going?"

Bobby swallowed "fine" he replied.

She nodded again and went silent for a moment "and I take it yer gonna try out fer the wrestlin' team this year?"

"Think so" Bobby said. Tammy nodded and then things went silent again. Shit Bobby thought I am screwing this up! I must sound like some sort of jerk to her. Think of something quick! He thought.

"So, how are things goin' fer you?" ya, that sounded right.

"Okay I suppose" she replied.

"What might that mean?" he asked.

She shrugged "well, I dunno. Jus' things get really borin' round here after the football season. I mostly jus' do my school work and hang out with my friends nowadays".

"That's cool," he said. See? Now was that so hard? He thought.

They soon pulled up into Kellyville and made their way down to the drive-in. after ordering their tickets, they parked near the middle just as the film began to start.

"Ya want anythin?" he asked.

"Um, jus' a water" she said. Nodding, Bobby got out and made his way to the concession stand. Okay Bobby he thought your doing good, just keep this up, don't be nervous, and everything will be all right.

He soon returned with a small popcorn, a coke bottle, and water for Tammy. She thanked him when he handed it to her. For the first half of the movie, Bobby kept on debating whether or not he should try to talk to her. Or would that seem rude?

Then, before he could react, Tammy clasped his hand. At first, Bobby wasn't sure what to do. Then he realized that he was gawking and quickly shut his opened mouth. Thinking fast, he gently squeezed Tammy's hand, seeing a small smile cross her face. Knowing he had done the right thing, he turned back to the screen, their hands still clasped.

For the entire movie, they didn't speak to one another. But it wasn't an uncomfortable silence; it was actually more of a relaxing kind of quiet, as if no words were needed to be said. And never once did Tammy pull her hand away from Bobby's, it remained gently clasped around his hand, occasionally giving a small squeeze during the films more intense parts.

When the movie was done, Bobby pulled his hand away from hers (though to great dismay) started up the car and pulled out of the drive-in, beginning the trip back home.

He soon pulled up back to Tammy's house after the drive from Kellyville. Shifting the car into neutral, she shifted her head towards him.

"I had a really nice time," she said sweetly.

"Really?" he said, a bit taken aback by the remark "but we barley talked ta each other".

She laughed a little "any guy who would take me ta a movie counts as a good time fer me". Bobby smiled a little.

Then, Tammy leaned in and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Bobby's mind suddenly went blank and everything seemed to go silent, his attention now focused on the soft lips pressed against his.

"See ya around Bobby" she said, pulling away and hoping out of the car. Waving to him, she then headed up to her house and disappeared into the doorway.

"Whoa" Bobby said after a long pause. He then shifted the car back into drive and began his trip home, still feeling light headed, still tasting Tammy's lips on his.

All in all, it was the best time at the drive-in Bobby ever had.

* * *

"Well I don't know Lois" Jess said, pressing the phone against his ear as he poured himself a glass of water "its not like I'm his bodyguard or something".

"Well, shouldn't he be getting' home soon?" she asked.

"Uh, maybe" he said "I mean, the movie is two hours long, so I think he should be getting back soon".

"Do ya think he kissed her?" she asked.

"I say maybe" Jess replied "but then again, maybe he didn't".

"Well, I bet he did" Lois said.

Jess heard the sound of a car pull up. That must be Bobby he thought back from his little date with what's-her-face.

"Well" Jess said, "It seems like Casanova has just returned".

"I want to know everythin!" she said.

"Sheesh Lois" he replied "nosy much?"

"What? I got nothin' else ta do".

"Funny" he said flatly "I'll talk ta ya tomorrow?"

"Course" she said. Then, Jess hung up the phone just as Bobby entered the house. He had this absolutely star struck look on his face, with the big grin, sparkling eyes, and seemingly invincible stature.

"Well" Jess said "looks like you took a trip to Cloud 9. How was it?"

Bobby nodded "it was great" he said.

"Well come on, sit" Jess said, "I wanna hear".

Bobby took a seat at the table "where's Jack and Ennis?"

"they already went to bed" he replied "and don't try to change the subject. So what happened?"

"Well" Bobby said "I picked her up and we talked a little on the way to the drive-in. then, we watched the film and we drove home".

Jess looked at him dumb founded "that's it?" Jess said, "That's all that happened?"

"Basically" he replied.

Jess gaped a little "well, did ya guys at least kiss?"

Bobby smiled a little "well, when I dropped her off…"

Suddenly, Jess was interested again "oh, so then the date wasn't a complete waste. Well, how was it?"

"It was…" he paused a moment "awesome".

"See what happens when you go on dates?" Jess said smugly "well besides that, did ya guys do anything else?"

"No" Bobby said "well, we did kinda hold hands during the film".

"Aw" Jess said "how cute".

"Shut up" he shot back.

"Sorry" Jess said "couldn't help it. So all in all, it was good?"

"Very" Bobby said.

Jess nodded "well that's good Bobby" he said getting up "so now what? You thinking about going out with her again?"

"Maybe" Bobby said, "I mean, I'd love ta. But I'm not sure if she would".

"now Bobby" Jess said "you'll never know unless you try".

Bobby nodded a little "I guess".

"I mean" Jess continued "what did she say to you when you dropped her off?"

"she jus' said see ya around" he replied.

"see?" Jess said, turning to face him "that means she's up for another date with you".

Bobby looked at him hopefully "really?"

"yes Robert" Jess said "if she said that, it must mean she likes you a little. Now all you have to do is either wait for her to ask you again or you take things into your own hands and ask her yourself".

"Well, what should I do?" he asked.

"You know Bobby" Jess said "I can't be here to help you out with all your romantic problems".

"So what?" Bobby asked "your not gonna help me?"

"No" Jess said "I think I'm gonna leave this up to you". Then before he could respond, Jess made his way upstairs.

"W-wait!" Bobby said, quickly getting up "can't ya at least give me a hint?"

Jess rolled his eyes "I swear Bobby, you are hopeless when it comes to love".

"So you'll help me?" he asked.

"Again, no" Jess said, "there are some things you have to make a decision on your own. This happens to be one of them".

Bobby looked very uncertain "but how will I know which decision to make?"

"Trust me Bobby," he said, putting a hand on Bobby's shoulder "you'll know". Then he turned around and headed into his room.


	34. Chapter 33

December 7, 1982

I wonder what life will be like in the 2000's. If you think about it, we really only have eighteen more years until the new millennium. So I can't help but wonder, what will it be like? (That is, if the world doesn't come to an end, which I highly doubt) Sure I could be thinking about the 90's or the late 80's but I want to know what will become of the world in the millennium.

In the last eighty two years of the 1900's, humankind has advanced more rapidly then in the 1600's, 1700's, or 1800's for that matter! Think about, in 1689 we still believed in hanging people for witchcraft, had to get water from a well, and traveled by ship to new countries. Shit, we had barley even begun to make technology.

Then comes the 1900's and as if we have been given a big shot of steroids, we suddenly take off. In the span of eighty two years, we now have electricity, TV, movies, medical care, insurance policies, cars, planes, cruise ships, computers, magazines, audio players, nuclear weapons, dollar bills, presidents (bad ones), credit cards, and hundreds of other things we didn't have over the span of over a thousands of years!

Not only that but social changes of occurred as well. The church no longer governs our lives; people do not believe in magic, girls are now treated as equals, and even the end of racism.

So I wonder, if we have progressed this much since the early 1900's, what will the millennium be like? Will we have flying cars? Will we have cures for cancer and Huntington's disease? Will we travel to Mars? Will we have cities underwater? And, will even gays be accepted by the world?

So what do you think the millennium will be like?

* * *

The first snowfall of the season happened the morning of December the seventh. Jess woke to find it unusually colder and looking out his window, he was able to spot the light fall of snow.

Climbing out of bed, he slipped on another baggy jean, slipped on a long-sleeved dark green shirt and then put one of his band t-shirts over it (the Misfits). Heading downstairs, he already saw the others were up.

"Mornin" said Jack.

"Morning" Jess replied, pouring his usual cup of coffee.

"First snowfall of the season" Jack said in a disdained voice.

"Oh come Jack" Ennis said "not 'fraid of a little snow?"

"Its always such a bitch ta work in" Jack replied.

"Oh quit whinin" Ennis said, grabbing him from behind.

"Bobby, I think we should get going" Jess said quickly "before it gets to bad out their".

It had been a few weeks since his date with Tammy and still, he hasn't managed to say one word to her since. Sometimes he seemed ready to do so but most of the time he just chickened out and as they rode to school, Jess couldn't help but bring it up for the hundredth time.

"You know, when I said for you to make your own decision" he began "I didn't mean for ya to ignore the girl".

"Well" he said "I jus…I jus don' know how ta talk ta her after that".

"Oh god Bobby" Jess said "how many times do I have to tell you, talking to her the second time is just like talking to her on anytime". Bobby went silent.

"Well personally Bobby" Jess said, "I'm getting pretty tired of it. Now you are gonna talk to that girl…this week".

"What are ya? My mom?" he said.

"Think of me as your smart aleck conscience" Jess replied, "look Bobby, it won't hurt for ya to try. You did it the first time, why is it so hard now?" they then pulled up to the school.

"Just promise you'll at least try to talk to her," Jess said.

"N'all right" Bobby said, "I'll try…but don't git yer hopes up".

"All I'm asking" Jess said as he got out of the car and headed inside the school. As usual, he sorta drifted through his classes, not really giving a damn. He was content with staring out the window and watching the snowfall.

Come lunchtime, he was just ready to leave and go home but then again that wouldn't help his situation. So he got his lunch and snuck out to the art room where Lois was already waiting.

"Hey" Jess said.

"Hey" she said "so, first snowfall of the season, don't ya jus' love it? For me, I can get some real good winter sketches and all but I personally can't stand the cold. Give me a swelterin' day over anythin' and I'm good. So, ya doin' anythin' this weekend?"

"Well, considering I only do things with you" Jess said, "what did ya have in mind?"

"I was thinkin' we could go see a movie. I was thinkin' maybe Sophie's Choice?" she said, "I hear is a pretty good film".

"But that's going to be too depressing" Jess said "but it does have Meryl Streep in it…" Jess had the hugest crush on Meryl Streep; he didn't care how old she was, in fact given the chance he'd let her be the Mrs. Robinson to his Dustin Hoffman.

"Oh what the hell" Jess said "I'll see it for Meryl".

"What's so special about Meryl Streep" Lois said.

"Do I detect a hint of jealously?" Jess teased.

"No!" she exclaimed "maybe…perhaps…kinda…yes".

"Aw Lois" Jess said "does someone have a crush on little ol' me?"

"Oh hush you" Lois said "don't think yer so important. After all, you ain't no Robert De Niro. Now that right there is a man". Both of them laughed at this, Jess nearly choking on his sandwich.

"So anyway" Lois said, "I know it's a bit early but what ya thinkin' bout gettin' Bobby, Jack, and Ennis fer Christmas?"

Jess stopped when he heard her ask that, his mouth slightly hanging open, as he was about to take another bite of his sandwich. It was then he realized he hadn't given a single thought about Christmas; let alone what to get for them.

Back in New York, when Christmas time came around, it was like walking into a whole new world. Decorations hung on the street lamps, shoppers flooded the streets, the sounds of music in the air, and lights strung up all over malls, shops, and even in the apartment building where he used to live.

Christmas was the one time of the year when money wasn't an option for Alma. Usually all Jess asked for was a band t-shirt and a random object of his choice but for her, that wasn't enough. She would get him a whole variety of things, stuff he never would have thought off but loved anyway. Thinking about it now sort of gave a tug at his heart, remembering now that this would be his first Christmas without her.

"Well" he said, "I…I well, never really gave much of a thought. maybe…a flannel shirt?"

Lois gave him a 'are you kidding?' look "a flannel shirt? That's all you can come up with? Come on Jess, Christmas is the time of year when you give someone somethin' special, not anythin' ya can get them any time of the year. Think harder".

"Well I can't!" Jess exclaimed, "I just don't know what to get them. Something special you say? Well I don't know what would be special for them".

"Uh, somethin' from you" she said flatly "look Jess, it ain't that hard. You jus' hafta think of somethin' that incorporates you into the gift".

"So what? I should get them band t-shirts as well?"

Lois sighed, "Okay Jess, you need ta think of somethin. It doesn't hafta be fancy but it at least has ta mean somethin. You think ya can do that?"

"Pretty sure" Jess said, "ya, I think I can".

"Okay then" she said, "god knows, the last thing ya need is ta be the Scrooge of your family".

"Ain't I already?" Jess replied.

* * *

As Bobby opened his locker, he spotted Tammy a few yards away, talking to her friends. Bobby sighed okay he thought you can do this. It's just like any other conversation. You just go up and talk to her, easy as that.

Closing his locker, he took one more breath and began to walk over to Tammy. Then he stopped when he spotted Macarthur walk up to her and to his great dismay and shock, say her turn around, give him a huge, and give him a kiss on the lips.

Bobby stopped dead in his tracks; feeling like his heart took a sucker punch. His instantly turned around and began to walk to class, feeling his eyes beginning to mist up.

The rest of the day, Bobby just felt like jumping into the deepest, darkest hole and never come out. He just couldn't believe it, how could Tammy be going out with that ass hole Macarthur? This wouldn't have happened if I'd talk to her sooner, god dammit Bobby Twist, you are such an idiot!

By the time the final bell rang, all Bobby wanted to do was get the hell out of this place but he knew that wasn't possible. Wrestling tryouts were today and Tammy or not, he had to go.

As he walked down the hall to the gym, he saw Jess just a few yards down.

"Hey" Jess said as he walked over. Then he saw the look on Bobby's face and knew that something was wrong.

"Uh, something the matter?" he asked.

At first Bobby just sort of shuffled his feet before answering, "It seems…Tammy has moved on".

"Ouch" Jess said "sorry about that Bobby. Well, who she seeing?"

"Macarthur" Bobby said in a dark voice.

"What?" Jess exclaimed "you mean she chose that ass hole over you?"

Bobby shrugged "well, it wasn't like I tried to chase after her".

Jess was silent a moment "you all right?"

"Ya" Bobby said, even though he wasn't "I'm all right".

"You sure?" Jess asked.

"Pretty sure" he replied, "anyway, I better get going to wrestling tryouts. See ya back at the house".

Jess nodded and said bye, Bobby walking past him and heading to the doors "you know" Jess called "I don't understand why they call it a sport when men roll around on the floor with one another".

"Hey, like ta see you try" Bobby called back, feeling a bit better. Still feeling pretty down but better then he was before.

He soon arrived in the gym, where it was already filling up with other people as well. As soon as enough people arrived, the coach ordered them to get change and meet out on the floor. As he made his way to the locker room, Bobby caught a glimpse of Macarthur and could feel his blood boil.

When he finished changing, the coach had them line up and began to pair them off "Doyle and Wallington, Lester and Kerry, Twist and Macarthur" when Bobby heard this, he couldn't believe his luck. The last person he wanted to see was the person he was gonna have to deal with for the entire tryouts.

On the other hand, it would give him the chance to kick Macarthur's ass.

"Well well well" Macarthur began "seems like its you and me Twist".

"Lucky me" Bobby said sarcastically as they paired up on the mat.

"So how are things goin' for ya Bobby?" he asked "doin' okay in school, things at the home, girl problems" he put so much emphasis on the last part that Bobby couldn't help but notice.

"No" Bobby replied.

"Really?" Doug said "cause the way I here, you got some sorta thing fer Tammy". Now Bobby knew something was up.

"What's it ta you?" Bobby asked.

"Oh nothin" he said "jus' being a lovin' boyfriend that's all but I sense this might be troublin' you?" his eyes turned malicious and his tone took on a mocking voice. He was deliberately dangling it in front of Bobby and if he wanted to piss him off, he was doing a pretty good job.

"Hey you two" said the coach "are ya gonna stand there all day gossipin' like little girls or are ya gonna actually do somethin?"

"Don't worry Twist" Macarthur said "I'll go easy on ya".

Bobby rolled his eyes "if yer wrestlin's as good as yer football, then it won't be any problem taking you out".

Macarthur glared at him as they set up. Then the coach blew the whistle, instantly Bobby dove for Macarthur's stomach. After a brief tussle, Bobby got the takedown on him and soon had him pinned and out.

"See?" Bobby whispered in his ear "easy".

* * *

After a long day in the cold, Jack headed back into the house to try and get himself warmed up again. Thank god for those ranch hands he thought I don't know how we lived without them.

Pouring himself that last few drops of coffee, he rubbed his frozen arms trying to get circulation back in them, taking a sip of the lukewarm coffee. Then he felt Ennis's arms wrap around him and began to kiss his neck.

"Ya cold there?" he said.

"A little" Jack replied.

"I think I might know what will warm ya up" Ennis said, turning Jack over to face him, slowly kissing him.

"Oh?" Jack said in between the kisses "and what might that be?"

Ennis smiled "you'll see".

Then Ennis pulled Jack away from the counter, wrapping his arms around him tightly and kissing him deeply while Jack began grabbing fistfuls of shirt.

Then Ennis hiked Jack up and the two went off to their bed where shirts and pants were off in an instant and Ennis was soon pounding into Jack, steadily picking up speed as he went.

He then pulled Jack close to him and flipped him over until he was on top of Ennis. Jack gave him a few more deep kisses, the pulled back a little and saddled up, Ennis grinding his teeth as Jack slowly lowered himself.

Once set up, Jack firmly grasped Ennis's arms and began to grind down onto him, causing Ennis to buck and grind along with him.

"Fuck" Ennis muttered, rearing up a bit "ride me good their baby".

This got Jack's adrenaline going. Normally, Ennis never used that kind of talk, he'd probably say it a handful of times if he was in the mood or the sex at the time was really good and whenever he did, it really got Jack all riled up and going even harder and faster so he can get more out of Ennis.

So he began to go faster, harder, gripping Ennis's arms tighter as it became wilder in fear of being bucked clean off. Ennis's eyes were now skewered up; his teeth clenched so hard that it looked like they might break from the force.

"Fuck ya" Ennis managed.

And with that Jack began to grind down as hard as he could, Ennis desperately flying down and beginning to stroke him off. Jack felt himself going over and Ennis soon followed as everything blew up in an explosion of pleasure and excitement.

When the release was over, Jack was spent and fell into Ennis's arms, the warm wetness of his body a comfort from the gap.

"Shit" Jack whispered.

"ya" Ennis replied.

"ya hardly ever tell me ta ride ya good" Jack said.

"well, I was jus' in the mood" Ennis replied "sides, yer the only one that can do that ta me".

"Ain't ya sweet" Jack replied, giving Ennis a long kiss, pulling away slightly so their lips still touched.

"Again?" Jack whispered.

"Hell ya" Ennis said, kissing him back.

Jack got up, ready for another go, when all of a sudden "Hello? Anyone here?" it was Jess.

"Shit" Jack said.

"Well come on" Ennis said "better head on down there".

"Can't it wait?" Jack said, "I promise I'll be quiet".

"Well, I won't be" Ennis replied, already getting up "sorry partner, maybe later on".

Jack begrudgingly got off of Ennis and both began to change. They headed downstairs to see Jess at the couch, watching TV.

"Hey" Jack said.

"Hey" Jess replied.

"Bobby at tryouts?" Jack asked.

"Obviously" Jess replied.

"How's yer day?" asked Ennis, taking a seat next to him.

"Okay" Jess replied "as for Bobby…not so much".

"Why?" Ennis asked.

"You remember that one bitch he went out with a few weeks back?" Jess said.

"Watch your tongue there Jess" Jack said, sitting down next to Ennis.

"Well excuse me" he said "but she deserved it. Apparently, it seems that she is going out with that ass hole Macarthur. Again, sorry".

"Oh" Jack said "poor Bobby. Is he all right?"

Jess shrugged "he seem fine but I could tell he was a bit beaten down by the news. It's expected". Jack knew Jess felt a bit sorry but the way he said in that flat voice of his made it sound like it was a regular event.

"Is it all right if I go to the movies with Lois this Friday?" Jess asked.

"Fine" Ennis said.

"Cool" Jess said, getting up "I'll be upstairs" he then headed up without a second glance.

"Shit" Jack said, "That must be rough fer Bobby".

"I'll bet" Ennis said "seein' someone ya love bein' with another person".

"Kinda like us, huh?" Jack said.

"Maybe" Ennis replied.

"You think Bobby's okay?" Jack asked.

"Can't say for sure" Ennis replied "ya think we should talk ta him when he gets back?"

"Ya think we should?" Jack asked.

"Seems like the right thing" Ennis replied, "that is, unless he's willin' for us ta help him".

"Why wouldn't he?" Jack asked.

"Well, you know Jack" he said.

"Why? jus' because we ain't with women?" Jack asked. Ennis didn't answer but Jack could tell by the look on his face that was exactly what he was thinking.

"Don't worry there cowboy," said Jack "no matter what, were still his parents. And jus' because we ain't with no woman doesn't mean we know a thing bout love".

* * *

Bobby wasn't too happy that Jess told Jack and Ennis about his situation. Jess saw him reluctantly talk to the men but after that, there was an icy chill whenever they talked to one another. Jess thought Bobby was overreacting, like he usually did, but he decided to let the whole thing play out until Bobby was ready to talk to him again.

Pretty soon, Friday night came around and Jess was heading down the porch to Lois's car that had just pulled up.

"Hey" Jess said as he got in.

"Hey there" she replied.

The entire ride over to Kellyville was filled with talking, mostly Lois's talking for that matter. Then as they headed into the town, Lois kept on going straight until they passed through town completely.

"Lois!" Jess exclaimed, "What are you doing? The drive-in's the other way!"

"Oh sorry Jess" she said "forgot ta tell ya. The movie ain't playing at the drive-in".

"It isn't?" Jess said, "Well, where the hell are we going?"

"Arnett" she replied "don't worry, its only another thirty minute drive from here". Thirty minutes? He thought so much for making curfew on time.

"You know, you could have told me" Jess said.

"Well, where's the fun in that?" she replied.

They soon pulled up into the town of Arnett. It was a very colonial looking town, a vast difference from Shattuck and Kellyville, but it was still a pretty small town.

The theater was nothing like the ones Jess was used to back in New York. This one was pretty small and seemed to show only two movies a week. They parked the car and headed up to the front doors.

"Wait" Jess said "the films R rated, how are we gonna get in?" usually, they had Lois's cousin Arty take care of getting them in but this wasn't the Kellyville drive-in.

"You'll see," she replied with a smile on her face.

They walked into the small lobby room that contained one ticket booth and a small concession stand. The ticket lady was a spry looking woman with extremely dirty blond hair, sharp features, and spacey blue eyes.

She smiled when they approached "hey there Lois" she said, "Long time, no see".

"Hey there Eileen" Lois replied, "Jess, this is Eileen. She used ta work at the grocery store with my daddy fore movin' ta Arnett. Eileen, this is my friend Jess".

"hey there" she said.

"hi" Jess replied.

"where ya from?" she asked.

"I moved here from New York a few months ago" he said "after my mom died".

"sorry bout that" she said "how ya likin' it here?"

"s'all right" Jess replied.

"well, pleasure ta meet ya Jess" she said "so Lois, how yer daddy doin?"

"he's all right" she said "ya know, business is good and such".

"well that's nice" she said "so what ya here ta see?"

"the Meryl Streep film" Lois said.

Eileen nodded and rang them up, handing their tickets "jus' don't tell no one, ya hear?" she said, winking slightly.

"do I ever?" Lois replied.

They then headed over to the concession stand where Jess asked "why is it you know all these people who work at movie places?"

She shrugged "dunno, luck I guess".

Once they got their popcorn, they made their way into the theater, which was almost empty except for four other people. Find a few seats in the middle, it was only a few minutes later when the movie began.

For over two hours and thirty minutes, they sat there in comfortable silence as the film played out. Before long, Lois was beginning to cry, while Jess found himself shedding a tear as well as they watched Sophie make the most unbearable choice that no mother should ever have to go through.

When the movie finished, they got up, Lois all red eyed as they made their way out of the theater and to the car.

"that movie was so sad" she said, whipping her eyes one last time.

"I told ya so" Jess said "but did ya listen?"

"oh shut up" she said, getting into the car.

"well, all I can say is" Jess said "another flawless performance by Miss Meryl. I swear, I think she's going to win the Oscar".

"that would be nice" she said as they pulled out.

After a few minutes, Lois was able to come over her grief and was soon babbling on while Jess sat back and listened. That Lois he thought nothing can keep her down for long.

After the hours drive, they pulled up into the driveway and Jess began to get out.

"well Lois" he said "another great time at the movies. See ya soon?"

"ya" she said "oh wait, before you go. have ya thought of anythin' ta get the guys fer Christmas?"

shit Jess thought "still workin' on it" he replied.

"well then, yer comin' over on Sunday then" she said "cause we need ta think of a gift but soon, Christmas is only a few weeks away".

"I know Lois" he said "don't worry, I'll think of something". He then got out and waved her by as she pulled out of the area.

Jess headed inside and saw with great horror that it was thirty past one. Fuck he thought please don't let them be up at this hour.

Cautiously, he made his way up the steps to his room, slowly turning the knob until he heard a cough behind.

Son of a bitch he thought. turning around, he saw Ennis and Jack standing at their doorway, both in only boxers. Jess repressed a gag at the thought of what they were doing.

"I know" Jess replied "I'm late again, but I have an excuse-"

"I'm gettin' real sick of this Jess" Ennis said "ya keep promisin' ta come home on time and yet ya keep comin' back at nearly hours after".

"I know" Jess said "but you see-"

"no buts" he continued "yer grounded for another week. And that means besides school, yer gonna stay here doin' work, so no movies and no goin' over ta Lois's. clear".

Jess nearly groaned but suppressed it "fine" he said haughtily. He then opened the door, muttering a string of curses under his breath. So much for trying to defend himself he thought.

* * *

**Authors note: it's gonna take awhile for the next Chapter to be posted, so be patient people. And keep the reviews coming!**


	35. Chapter 34

After a few rounds of sex, Jack was lying against Ennis's chest, breathing in his scent and letting the passing euphoria wash over him.

"Ennis" Jack said.

"Hmm?" he said, his eyes dropping a little.

"Ya know, we haven't figured out what ta get Jess fer Christmas".

"We have time," Ennis said.

"Not really" Jack said, "in case ya don't know, it's the thirteenth, that don't give us a lotta time".

Ennis shifted a little "guess not" he said.

"What should we get?" he asked.

"Well…" Ennis said "he really likes them band t-shirts".

"Ya but he has a ton of those" Jack said "come on Ennis, its his first Christmas here, we gotta make it a little bit special".

"Well to be honest Jack" Ennis said, "I ain't really sure what it is he wants. I mean it ain't like he's been open with us".

"So?" he replied, "don't mean we can try".

There was a brief silence "I can't think of nothin" Ennis said.

"There has ta be somethin," Jack said.

Ennis bit his lip "guess I ain't doing such a good job".

"Now lets not start that again" Jack said, kissing him lightly "jus' give some time ta think about it. Somethin' will come".

"How can ya be sure?" Ennis asked.

"Trust me" Jack said kissing him again "it will".

* * *

Tuesday started off like any other day for Jess. Bobby and him headed to the school, he got his stuff from his locker, and then made his way to his first class.

By now, people had gotten used to Jess presence. It wasn't like they liked him or didn't look at him funny, it was just now they didn't move their desk away whenever he sat down.

He began tapping his pencil on the desk while the teacher was getting started to drone on. Then he heard the door open and could hear a few small gasps from people. What now? He thought. Looking up, he suddenly saw his answer.

Coming from New York, Jess had seen it all. He had been quite confident that nothing from hear on out would ever get the best of him. Well, Jess had originally thought that until now.

It was scariest teen Jess had ever seen. He had the meanest looking face he had ever seen, the one you'd expect to see in prison movies. He had unkempt black hair and a pair of grainy looking brown eyes. Jess could see he was easily six-one at the least giving him an imposing stature. He was heavily muscled with huge arms, large chest, the kind you expect to see on a pro wrestler or footballer or whatever kind of athlete who worked out a lot. He wore long ripped jeans that were stained black and he wore a tight black sweatshirt that easily outlined his chest and abs.

The teacher even seemed a bit stunned for a moment before the teen handed him a slip of paper.

"Uh, class" he began "it seems we have a new student joining us…a Mr. James Hatchet" no one made any noise, either they didn't care or were too afraid to make a move.

"Well, Mr. Hatchet. Why don't ya take a seat next to Mr. Bears in the back". The teen known as James nodded and made his way down the aisle, people slightly cowering when he walked by before he took the empty desk next to Jess.

Jess felt this sudden sense of dread. This James fella was the last person he would want sitting just a few inches from him, ready to seemingly rip his head off.

Wait; get a hold of your self! Jess thought, he's only a teen just like you. There is nothing to be afraid off. But as he glanced over at him, he couldn't help but feel intimidated. Then he saw James's eyes lock onto his and Jess instantly looked away. Shit he thought.

For the rest of the class he was unusually awake, the formidable presence of James was like a steady flow of adrenaline, never allowing Jess the time to doze off like he usually did. He was so thankful for the bell to ring, more then usual in fact.

Gathering his stuff he got up and instantly bumped into James.

"Uh…" Jess said "sorry" he added hastily, quickly walking away.

Jess soon found out that James was in his next class cause when he walked in he saw James had token a seat right next to him. Once again, he felt the sense of dread sitting there with this scary teen almost breathing down your neck.

Thankfully, he wasn't in his gym class. He had never been more happy to be in the pit hole then ever before.

Then, as he got food from the line, he saw people hurriedly grab their stuff as James joined the line. Jess paid the woman and then made his way to the art room.

"Hey" Lois said.

"Hey" Jess said, sitting down "you know about that new kid?"

"Ya, I heard bout that" she said "real scary fella from what I hear".

"No kidding" Jess said.

"Well, who is he?" Lois asked.

"His name his James Hatchet" Jess said, "that's about all I know. He doesn't really speak much".

"Strange" she said.

"Why is it?"

"Well, I mean, this is a small town" she said "and it's very rare that we get people movin' here. So like, two new students in jus' four months, that's like unheard of".

"Really?" Jess said, "I did not know that".

She nodded "so anyway, have ya thought of a gift ta get fer the guys?"

Jess shook his head "come on Jess!" Lois said, "There's only eleven days left till Christmas, ya gotta think of somethin!"

"But I don't know!" Jess said, "what the hell am I suppose to know what to get for two gay guys" she rolled her eyes.

"But wait" Jess said "I did think of somethin' for Bobby".

Lois seemed to light up "oh really?" she said "lets hear it then".

"Well, you know how Bobby's a big sports man right?" Jess said.

"Ya?" she replied.

"Well" Jess began "a few years back, my friend was able to get this baseball jersey signed by all the players for the Yankee's. Well, I had just realized I had brought it over with me and since I don't care for sports that much, I'm thinking about giving it to him".

Lois smiled "aw Jess, that's a great idea! I'm sure he'll love it".

Jess smiled; pleased with him "speakin' of which" she said "is he still mad at ya?"

"Ya" Jess said "I think he's over reacting but hey, what are ya gonna do?"

Lois nodded "I think you two should work this out".

"Ya, how?" Jess asked.

"Look, he's a sensible person" she replied "just sit down and discuss it like grown men. I mean, he can't stay mad at ya forever now right?"

He shrugged "I guess".

"Jus' do it will ya?" Lois said.

"All right all right, sheesh" Jess said.

She rolled her eyes "oh and I won't be able ta drive ya back home today".

"Why not?"

"My daddy needs help ta the store today" she said, "so I hafta go early. Ya think Bobby can drive ya home?"

"Wrestling practice today" Jess said, "I think I can just walk home. By the time I get there Bobby will be done with practice".

"Ya sure you can do that?" she asked.

"I'm from New York" he said "believe me, you have to have stamina to be in that city. Trust me, a short walk will be cake".

"N'all right" she said, "whatever suits you".

The rest of the day went by smoothly enough. James wasn't in any more of Jess's classes, so that was a plus. In fact, the rest of the afternoon was just like any other, as if this mornings events had never token place.

As soon as the bell rung, Jess gathered his things and made his way out the front doors, crossing the parking lot.

"Hey freak!" he heard someone yell, whom Jess realized was Macarthur. What the hell does he want? He thought. Turning around, he saw him coming over along with his goons in tow.

"So I hear you and Twist have had a fallin' out," Doug said tauntingly.

"Shouldn't you be at practice or somethin?" Jess said flatly.

"Oh trust me," Doug said, "this'll only take a minute".

"You know Doug, I really don't wanna do this now" Jess said "so why don't you jus' turn around and go get your sexual frustration out".

"Look at that" Doug said stopping right in front of him "still a wise ass".

"Damn straight" Jess said "now excuse me, I have to go" then as he turned around he found himself blocked by Doug's goons.

"Hey now" Macarthur said "is that any way to act in front of yer superiors? Seems ya still haven't been taught some manners by yer queen of a father, so I guess I'll hafta-"

"Hey!" Jess heard someone yell. Turning around, he saw it was James walking over. Oh great Jess thought now what?

Everyone seemed less enthused, even scared at the arrival of James. Jess saw Doug hesitate a little before speaking.

"Y-you have no business here" he said, "This is between me and him".

"Really?" James said, his voice unusually deep, even for someone his age "if that's so, why is it you need five others with ya?" he then stopped right in front of Doug, his steely eyes bearing down Doug.

"So what?" he said bravely "I can handle my business any way I want. So why don't you jus' back off". James seemed unfazed by this, still giving Doug a mean look. Everyone was now anxious as to what might happen.

"I think its best if ya jus' leave now" James said in a dangerous voice.

But Doug wasn't having it, being the arrogant ass he was he took one step forward and said "make me".

Then, James punched him clean across the face, producing an audible thud. Doug staggered; clutching his face, blood beginning to trickle down from his face. This obviously got through to Doug who immediately began to skulk off, his buddies in tow tending to their fallen leader.

At first, Jess didn't know what to say. The fact that this kid who he barely even knew suddenly coming up and rescuing him seemed completely odd.

"Uh…" Jess said, "thanks".

James shrugged "was nothin".

"Ya but you didn't have to do that" Jess replied.

"Six on one jus' doesn't seem fair," he said.

There was a brief silence before James spoke again "your in my history class…Jessie is it?"

He nodded "um…ya. But, everyone just calls me Jess".

"Jess huh?" he said, "well, names James" he then extended his hand.

"Uh…" Jess took his hand "nice to meet you".

"Ya talk funny" James said "where ya from?"

"I moved here from New York bout four months ago" Jess said.

"New York huh?" he said "guess this is a big change for ya then".

"Ya, it was" Jess said, feeling more and more comfortable around this person "but I've gotten used to it. Besides, its not half bad once you get used to it".

Again, the silence entered "so…" Jess began "where exactly are you from?"

"I moved here from Stillwater" James said, "to live with my aunt".

"What happened?" Jess asked, now feeling curious.

"Well" James said, "Here's the thing. My dad left me and my mom when I was jus' born and as for her, she always did have a problem with the bottle. Then one day, it jus' became too much and she gave me up to my aunt".

"I'm sorry" Jess said.

James waved a hand "don't be. Ya didn't do anythin', it jus' happened that's all".

Again, the silence "well…thanks again" Jess said, turning around and beginning to walk.

"Hey wait" James said, "Ya need a ride?"

Jess looked over his shoulder "well…" it really wasn't that far of a walk but Jess figured as long as he was asking "ya sure, that be nice".

Jess followed James over to a solid black Pontiac Firebird, which seemed almost brand new. Its coat extremely glossy, wheels shined, and even the interior looked brand new. And yet, if Jess was correct, this car must be from 1976 or something.

"Exactly how old is your car?" Jess couldn't help saying.

"It's a 76 model" James said "but I'm pretty good with cars". He then started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Turn left" Jess said as they drove down the main street. Again, the silence entered, which was sort of unusual for Jess considering he was so used to Lois's blathering whenever he was driven home.

"So" Jess said, "do you play any sports?"

He shook his head "nope. Don't like sports".

Jess looked at him oddly "I jus' look like this cause whenever I'm bored, I jus' lift weights for a few hours". Jess nodded and once again, the silence entered before he instructed James to turn on the dirt road that led to his house.

"Ya know" James said "yer the first person that I've had a real conversation with since I got here".

"Really? I wouldn't know" Jess said, biting his tongue when he said it.

"I don't blame ya" James replied "most people are too afraid ta come up to me because of the way I look".

They soon pulled up to the house after a few moments later "yer dad some sorta rancher?" James asked.

"Ya" Jess said.

"And yer ma?" James asked, "What does she do?"

Jess hesitated a little "well…my mom and dad were divorced for thirteen years. My mom got full custody and we moved to New York with her new husband Ted when I was six. Then when she died, I was sent here".

"Real sorry bout that" James said.

Jess nodded "well" he said opening the door "thanks for the ride".

"No problem" James said. Then Jess closed the door and headed for the house, the sound of the Firebird heading down the track.

For the next few hours, Jess sat on the couch and watched repeats of Laverne & Shirley before Ennis and Jack came in from work. Then a few minutes later Bobby returned from wrestling practice.

"Hey" Jack said, "How's practice?"

Bobby shrugged "all right".

"Ya know when yer first meet is?" Ennis asked as he sat down.

"Friday" he replied. Then the phone rang.

"Ya?" Jack said "Jess, its Lois".

Getting off the couch, he took the phone from Jack "hey" Jess said, "how was your day at the grocers?"

"Better then I thought it would be" Lois said, "We jus' had ta bring in the new supplies, throw out expired products, restock shelves, and then clean the place".

"Anything else?" Jess said jokingly.

"So anyway" Lois said, "since yer gettin' off this weekend, wanna go catch a flick?"

"Course" Jess said "which film?"

"Well, we have a choice" she replied, "we can either go to the drive-in and see Tootsie or we can head up ta Arnett and see Gandhi".

"Well, I really don't want to go on an hours drive" Jess said "and I don't really wanna see a film bout some peace maker. Maybe we should just go to the drive-in".

"Okay" she said, "I was thinkin' maybe Saturday night?"

"Sounds all right" Jess said.

"See ya at school".

"Bye" then he hung up the phone.

"You and Lois headin' up ta the movies again?" Jack asked.

"Yes" Jess replied flatly.

"I swear" Jack said, "you two spend to much time together, I'm surprised ya ain't goin' out already".

"We're jus' friends" Jess replied.

"Now" Ennis said "jus' wait".

Jess rolled his eyes "Bobby, you got any work to do?"

"Jus' English" he replied.

"Come on, we better get that done with". Bobby got up and grabbed his bag and the two headed to his room.

Like before, they didn't really speak to one another. Jess just instructed him on what to do and Bobby nodded solemnly. After a few minutes, Jess decided to take Lois's advice.

"Okay Bobby" Jess said "how long are ya gonna keep this up?" no response.

"Oh come one Bobby, it was a harmless mistake" Jess said "if I knew you were gonna be a little bitch about it, I wouldn't have told them".

"You shouldn't have told them" he said, "it was my problem and if I wanted to tell them, it should have been me, not you".

"All right" Jess said, "I'm sorry then for telling them, I mean what more do you want? Its not like I can go back in time and take it back". No response.

"Look" Jess said "I didn't know this would be such a big deal for you all right? I fucked up; people do that all the time. So come on Bobby, can't we bury the hatchet on this?"

There was a long silence before he heard Bobby sigh, "I guess" he said.

"See that's the spirit" Jess said, "now, lets get back to that homework". The rest of the time was a heck of a lot more comfortable now that Jess and Bobby were on speaking terms and it went by a lot faster.

"hey" Bobby said "I have ta ask ya something. Did you have anythin' to do with Macarthur comin' ta practice with a swollen face".

"maybe" Jess replied "why do you ask?"

"well, when the coach asked him what happened, he jus' said it was the freak and the new kid".

"really?" Jess said "well, its kind of true then. See, Doug was…well, being Doug and for some reason he felt like taking it out on me. Then James, you know the scary new kid, he just steps in and defends me for some reason".

"so he punched Macarthur across the face?" Bobby asked.

"yes" Jess replied "it was awesome". The two both laughed at this.

"ya, that bastard had it comin" Bobby said.

"so" Jess asked "did ya ever find out why that Tammy bitch is going out with him?"

"I believe so" Bobby replied "I think he's jus' usin' her ta get ta me. I don't really think he likes her but is jus' pretendin' ta".

"that sonofabitch" Jess said "that's pretty low, even for an axe wound like him".

"ya well" Bobby said "whaddya gonna do?"

"you can tell her" Jess said.

"are you kiddin?" Bobby replied.

"no, I ain't" Jess said "I mean, what's the worse that could happen?"

"not believin' me" Bobby said.

"ya well" Jess said "sometimes in life, ya gotta take risks. Look, I ain't forcing ya, it's just a suggestion. I mean if ya want the girl ya like going out with someone who's only using her for his own personal vendetta, go ahead".

"ya think I should?" Bobby asked.

"I would" Jess replied.

"I'll keep that in mind then".

* * *

**Authors note: sorry bout the delay, busy few weeks. Keep the reviews coming!**


	36. Chapter 35

"Still nothin?" asked Lois for the hundredth time as they ate their lunch.

"Yes Lois" Jess replied.

"Come on Jess!" she said, "this really shouldn't be that hard. Look, lets think about this, what is it Ennis and Jack love the most?"

Jess shrugged, Lois rolled her eyes "think Jess, think of somethin' that really means somethin' to them".

Seeing no choice, Jess thought hard about it "well" he said, "They uh…like, ranch stuff".

Lois gave him a look "ranch stuff" she said stiffly.

"Lois, I don't know okay?" he said, "I just can't think of anything to get them. When I was back in New York, three days before Christmas, I would just take all the money I had and just wandered around the streets looking for stuff to get my mom, I never planned it, and I just got stuff I knew she liked"

"So why not do that then?" Lois asked

"Its not like we have a huge selection of stores to choose from" Jess replied.

"Well then, don't" she said "if there isn't anythin' here, then go look someplace else, someplace like New York".

"And where exactly will that be?" Jess asked.

"Oklahoma City" Lois replied in a matter of fact voice.

"Oklahoma City" Jess said in a shocked voice "do you know how far Oklahoma City is from here?"

"Ya, its five hours from here" she said.

"Five hours!" Jess said in a loud voice "you want me to drive five hours just to do some Christmas shopping".

"Hey, I was only suggestin" Lois said, "You don't have ta go".

"Well, I'm not" Jess said flatly.

She rolled her eyes at him "are we still on for tonight?"

"Ya" Jess said, "what time you coming?"

"Movie don't start till six," she said, "so I'll be there at like five at least".

Though Jess said he wouldn't, the idea still swam around in his head for the remainder of the day. Its stupid he thought, why drive five hours for a Christmas gift?

James and him hadn't really spoken to each other since the whole Macarthur incident but at least now, Jess wasn't afraid of him. Finally, Jess felt someone tap him on the back. Turning around, he saw it was James.

"Hey, I'm lost here" he said "you have any idea what he's sayin?"

"Simple" Jess said in a whisper" he's just talking about the inner struggle the character is going through. How he compares his lives to ordinary objects as a symbol to his own existence. Its all very philosophical, is what it is".

Then the bell rang and people began to pack their stuff.

"So" Jess said, not really knowing why he wanted to talk so bad "what are you doing over break?"

"Nothin' much" James replied, "Work on my car or somethin'. Dunno, don't really do that much durin' the break".

"What about for Christmas?" Jess asked "surely you do something on Christmas?"

James shrugged "not really. Open presents and stuff but that's it" they walked out of the class, heading for the exit.

"What bout you?" James asked.

"Dunno" Jess replied, "don't really care".

James looked at him funny "that ain't true. Everyone doesn't care during Christmas time".

"Ya well, I don't" Jess snapped at him "sorry" he said quickly "its just…"

"Problems at home?" James asked.

"Could say that" Jess replied.

"Like what?"

"Its nothing" Jess said "just…I don't really get along with my dad that much".

"Why, he a jerk?" James asked.

"No, not like that" Jess said "I just…don't care for him that much".

"Really?" James asked.

"Ya" Jess said "when your dad leaves your mom for…" he was about to say Jack "someone else, your bound to feel resentful. I mean, don't you? After your dad left?"

"Well, ya" he said "but the thing is, my dad was a jerk and yours ain't".

"Well, it doesn't matter now" Jess said as they walked out of the school, Lois just beginning to pull up.

"Hey Jess-" she stopped when she spotted James "who's this?" she asked.

"Oh uh…right. Lois, this is James. James, this is my friend Lois".

"Hey" James said.

"You're the scary kid everyone's been talkin' bout" Lois said in a matter of fact voice "no offense" she added.

"S'all right" James said, "well, I best be goin'. See ya when we get back?"

"Ya sure" Jess replied.

"Nice meetin' ya Lois" James said before walking off.

"So that's him huh?" Lois asked as he got in the car.

"Pretty much".

"He seems nice," she said "sure, a bit scary lookin', but nice".

"Ya" Jess replied.

"Ya know, we should invite him ta eat with us at lunch" Lois said as they pulled out of the school.

* * *

Jack pulled up to the house and quickly got out. He had just went to the post office, expecting nothing big to come of it that is until he saw the paycheck in the midst of it all. He was both excited and nervous, cause it would be with this paycheck that they would see if all their hard work had actually produced something or they would be slumming it in the poor house. 

"Ennis!" he yelled, running to the stables where he saw him talking to one of the boys.

"Ennis!" he yelled again "hurry!"

"Wait a minute" Ennis said hastily as Jack grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off to the house "h-hey! Hold on a minute!" Ennis then broke free, rubbing his sore wrist.

"Now, can ya tell me what all the hubbub is about?"

Without waiting, Jack flashed him the paycheck. Instantly, the look crossed Ennis's face.

"That what I think it is?" he said in a even voice.

"Yep" Jack said "sorry if I was a bit rough but this can't wait" the two men then entered into the house, both taking a seat at the kitchen table. Jack held the paycheck in his hand, feeling his heart beginning to pick up.

"Jack" Ennis said "you do realize what might happen if…"

Jack nodded "I know".

"And you know that we shouldn't get our hopes up now" he said.

"I know" Jack repeated.

Both didn't speak, both their eyes focused on the envelope.

"Ya gonna open it?" Ennis said after a few minutes of nothing.

"Right, right" Jack said. He licked his lips, his pulse beginning to beat faster. Well, here goes nothing. He slipped his forefinger under the crease and tore it open. Then, he pulled out the letter, flattened it out, and looked.

He didn't speak, his mind seemingly gone blank.

"Jack?" Ennis asked "Jack? Jack, well, did we do good?" still nothing.

"Jack? Is it…bad?" still nothing.

"Come on Jack, out with it!" Ennis said a bit more loudly then he should. Jack then passed him the envelope, Ennis snatching it from his hand. Jack watched as Ennis looked at the envelope, watching the expression cross his face.

"I-is this…for real?" Jack nodded.

"You mean…" Ennis said, finding it hard to breath "you mean this…are you…Jack, this is…"

Jack smiled "yep cowboy, that's it. All the hard work, all the plannin', it paid off".

"Paid off?" Ennis said exasperated "paid off? Jack, this is more then we've made in…six months time!"

"I know" Jack said, getting off his chair and giving Ennis a big kiss "we fuckin' did it!"

"Hell ya!" Ennis replied, returning the kiss, both men swaying slightly.

"I don't believe it!" Jack said, pulling away "I jus'…this all seems so unreal!"

"Couldn't have said it better" Ennis said, getting out of his chair "things are really gonna change around here".

"Yeah" Jack said, "Once people realize this, more and more will be knockin' on our front door".

"And, we can finally get around to all those things we've put off fer so long" Ennis said, the look on his face still a mixture of shock and delight. Then, Ennis stopped, another look crossing his face.

"What is it Ennis?" Jack asked, walking over to him.

"Jack" he said, "I think I know what to get Jess fer Christmas".

Jack looked at him in disbelief. Out of all the things he expect Ennis to say, this was the last thing he'd expected to hear.

"Y-ya have?" Jack said "what?"

"Well" Ennis said, "it's a bit complicated but…I have ta go" he then began for the door but Jack grabbed him by the arm again.

"Hold on there" Jack said "I'm glad ya thought of somethin' fer Jess and I'm pretty sure yer gonna tell me bout him but right now, this calls fer a celebration".

Then Jack pulled Ennis over to him and began to kiss him.

"Jack" Ennis said in between "we still…have…work ta…do".

"Later" Jack said, pulling Ennis by the shirt up the stairs "right now, I'm the happiest man on Earth and all I wanna do right now is fuck the livin' shit outta ya".

Jack forced Ennis into the room, ripping off his shirt in less then a second, begging to travel down Ennis's chest until he came to his belt, unbuckling it, pulling down his jeans, and taking Ennis in with one swift gulp.

* * *

When wrestling practice was done with, Bobby quickly showered off, put on his clothes, and slung his sports bag over his shoulder before waling out of the gym and into the parking lot.

Coach had made them work extra hard today, considering it was there first meet tonight and he wanted the season to start of right. Normally, Bobby would have been excited for it but these days he could have cared less about practice, not with Doug having to smear Tammy and his relationship right in his face. He would have loved to just punch Macarthur across his still bruised cheek but he figured it wasn't worth it with coach around.

As he walked to his car, he saw something that caught his eye. It was Macarthur and Tammy and by the looks of things, it appeared as though they were having a fight. Feeling extremely curious, Bobby ducked down and silently moved toward them until he picked up what they were saying.

"…Yer actin' like this!" Macarthur said.

"Because when someone beats a freshman up jus' because someone says there bored, don't mean I ain't gonna act like this!" Tammy replied.

"Why are ya getting' so worked up about it?" he shot back "its not like ya complained the first time!"

"Well, I didn'" she said "but that doesn't mean I didn' like it! And besides, it don't mean I'm so stupid to know what's goin' on".

"Oh? And what might that be?" he said in a haughtily voice.

"I know that yer jus' goin' out with me ta get back at Bobby!" Tammy shot back "ya that's right, I know. You don't really care bout me, all ya want me for is to dangle me in front of Bobby!"

"T-that's…t-that is a lie!" Macarthur yelled.

"Don't even try actin' stupid" Tammy shot back "in fact, we're over Macarthur".

"You can't break up with me!" he said in an outraged voice.

"Watch me" Tammy said. Then Bobby spotted her walking away, a furious expression on her face. Macarthur soon appeared, a similar expression on his face, then he to stalked off to his car.

When the cost was clear, Bobby got up and headed back to his car.

* * *

Jack really wasn't kidding when he wanted to fuck the living shit out of him. Both men were naked, Ennis's legs in the air while Jack was pounding relentlessly at his ass, hands both groping his chest while Ennis had his hands grasped on Jack's ass, urging him to go faster. 

As soon as the men had stripped down, Jack surprised Ennis by throwing him down on the bed and without waiting for a reply, pushed in and began to go to work on his ass. Ennis let out an audible gasp of surprise, the action taking him totally by surprise but he let him anyway, wanting to feel the sensation rock his body.

"Aw fuck" Ennis moaned as Jack found his spot "ya, right there".

"Like that?" Jack said in his sensual voice, beginning to go pick up speed and going to work on Ennis's spot, the sounds of his moans forcing to pick up speed until Ennis found himself about to be thrown off, digging his fingernails in Jack's ass to stop from being thrown off.

He then felt himself go over the edge, Jack right behind him, until the white-hot sensation was coursing through their body. Exhausted, Jack collapsed on Ennis, gently kissing his neck and cheek.

"That was good" Ennis said in an exhausted voice.

"Glad I can be there" Jack replied, kissing him softly on the lips "so, what's this gift yer getting' fer Jess?"

* * *

Jess was watching repeats of Three's Company by the time Bobby walked in the door. 

"Hey" Jess said, "how was practice?"

"Okay" Bobby replied, heading for the fridge "where's Jack and Ennis?"

"Well, I think their still upstairs fucking each other" this caused Bobby to splutter the milk he was drinking.

"W-what?" he said in an offended tone.

"Ya, I came into the house just in time to hear a loud moan go off upstairs" Jess said in a cold, smooth voice "so I put two and two together and came up with that assumption".

Bobby took a seat next to Jess, obviously put off by the thought that Jack and Ennis were upstairs right now having sex.

"So, nothing interesting happened?" Jess asked.

"Well" Bobby began "Tammy and Macarthur broke up".

This caught Jess's attention "really? Why?"

"Well" Bobby said, "ya were right, seems Macarthur really was only usin' her ta get ta me. She found out and she broke it off".

"And you know this how?" Jess asked.

"I overheard them" Bobby replied.

"Overheard or eavesdropped?" he asked.

"Both" he replied, taking another drink.

Jess nodding, expecting the answer "so I take it your happy now?"

He smiled a little "a bit".

"So, ya gonna ask her?" Jess said.

"Wouldn't that seem a bit soon?" Bobby asked.

"Well, you've been making such a huge deal out of her, I only suspected" Jess replied. Then, he heard the sound of footsteps and a few moments later, Jack and Ennis appeared, Jess giving Bobby a told ya so look.

"I see your done now" Jess said in a harsh voice, walking past the men and heading upstairs, not bothering to see their expressions.

He headed into his room and plopped down on the bed, drumming his fingers as he stared at the ceiling. After a few minutes of this, Jess got up and looked at the floor where is suitcase laid open. Even after a few months of being here, he had still not gotten round to unpacking. In some odd way, he had hoped that someone would come and take him away, maybe his aunt or some distant relative he didn't know about. Now, things had changed, looking at the suitcase Jess figured that now was the time to accept he wasn't going anywhere. So he go up, knelt down and began to remove all of his clothes, stacking them in piles from shirts, pants, and assorted trinkets he had brought.

Then something caught his eye at the bottom. He fished through the rummage and pulled out a thick wad of pictures. It all suddenly came back to him.

They were the first things he had packed when he learned he was leaving. Photos of his life, from only months ago to all the way back when he was just a baby. It baffled him how he could have forgotten them so easily but now that he found them; he felt a sudden warmth within him.

He looked at pictures when he was only three, living with his mom somewhere in the south, dressed in a mini cowboy suit. Jess still couldn't believe he had actually worn something like that. He saw another with him and Ted when he was seven, both having gone on a fishing trip. Another was him at seven, the first day they moved to New York and into their new apartment. As the pictures kept progressing over the years, Jess began to realize just how much he had changed.

He saw a picture when he was eleven, now beginning to where the band t-shirts and baggy pants. He saw another when he was thirteen, now wearing the wristbands and all, with his friends at Central Park. Another picture was the night he first went to CBGB's, another during Christmas time, one of him and Marlene at Marty's, finally, he came to the last picture. He realized that this one was taken just two weeks before his mom died. He was at the Coney Island with some of his friends that day and one of them had taken a picture of his leaning against the rail as the sun began to set.

He now felt terribly sad, seeing all these pictures, almost as if from a previous life. He wondered now how everyone was doing, what there lives have become. He then realized that not once he tried to contact them. He felt rotten at this.

As Jess sat there on the ground reminiscing about the past, a thought suddenly crossed his mind. He knew what it was to get Ennis and Jack for Christmas.

Without thinking, he got up and headed downstairs where he saw the men had already left. Grabbing the phone, he quickly dialed Lois's.

"Hello?" she heard her answer.

"Lois" Jess said, "I need you to come and pick me up at my house, screw the movie, I know what to get for Ennis and Jack".

"You do?" Lois said in a excited voice "oh Jess! This is wonderful-"

"Yes, I know it is" Jess interrupted her "but I need you to come over here right now".

"Wait, why? What's with the rush?"

"Just hurry over before I change my mind" he said hurriedly, hanging up the phone. He grabbed a piece of paper and pencil, scribbling down a message for the guys, then he hurried back upstairs, snatched the photos and all the money he had saved up, and made his way out to the deck.

A few minutes later, Lois came screeching up the drive, Jess opening the door and hurrying in.

"Mind tellin' me what's all the fuse about?" Lois asked.

"I need ya to take me someplace" Jess said.

"Where?"

Still couldn't believing he was saying this, he said "Oklahoma City".

"Ain't that a five hour drive?"

"Yes Lois, I know" Jess said, "You know how to get there?"

"Of course" she said, a smug expression on her face at the idea of Jess actually wanting to go through with this.

"Well then, we better get going" he said.

"Absolutely" she then pulled the car out and made her way down the road.

"So what exactly are we gettin'?" she asked as they pulled out of town.

"Well, still not sure yet" Jess said "but I'll know when I see it".

* * *

**Authors note: again, sorry about the delay, just been busy with other fanfics and I had a large writers block. Anyway, I think I'm planning on closing the winter part a bit shorter then I wanted to but I believe this will help the plot run more smoothly.**


	37. Chapter 36

"You know what Jess" Lois said as they continued their long drive back to Shattuck. By now, it was almost one o'clock in the morning, Jess feeling his eye dropping from sleep but Lois acting like she was on a permanent coffee buzz, which is what she usually acted like.

"Yes Lois?" he asked.

"That was very sweet what ya got fer Ennis and Jack" she said for the umpteenth time

"Thanks Lois" Jess replied, yawning slightly, the presents confined to the back seat.

Going to Oklahoma City was like visiting an old friend. Sure, he hardly saw the place when he first arrived, considering he had to catch his train but just being in a city again, after four months of emptiness and silence, with all the noise, traffic, people, it was the closest thing Jess felt to being home ever since he left New York.

"How much longer?" Jess asked.

"Bout another hour or so" she said.

"Jack and Ennis are going to kill me," Jess said in a slightly mocking voice.

"Well, you can just say it was fer a good purpose" she replied.

"Like they'll believe that," he replied.

"How do you know?" she said "I swear, you always have to jump to these conclusions when it comes to them".

"Ah, ya, cause I'm right" he said. She rolled her eyes at him.

Finally, after what seemed forever, they pulled up to the house. Thankfully, it appeared all the lights were off.

"Maybe they went to bed already" Jess said half to himself "well, see ya later Lois" he reached back and grabbed the stuff.

"Bye" she said as he got out.

He made his way up the porch, trying to remain as silent as possible. Hopefully, they haven't locked the doors on him. Thankfully, they didn't. He opened the door into the darkened area and made his way in, silently closing the door behind him. The moment he shut the door, the kitchen lights turned on. Fuck he thought.

Sitting at the kitchen table, both in their boxers and white shirts, were Jack and Ennis and they did not look happy.

"Two twenty" Ennis said in a dangerous voice "that's a new record, even fer you". Jess didn't answer; instead he silently slid the bags behind him.

"Where were you?" Jack said.

"Out with Lois" Jess said.

"Where did the two of ya go?" Ennis said.

"The movies" Jess replied.

"You've been at the movies fer nine hours?" he said.

"It was a long movie," Jess said coldly.

"Room" Ennis said "now. We'll talk of yer punishment tomorrow".

Shrugging, Jess grabbed the bag behind him and headed for the stairs.

"What's that in yer hand?" Jack said.

"Nothing" Jess said quickly, disappearing up the stairs before he could give them anything else.

Well, that went well he thought as he shut his bedroom door.

* * *

This blows he thought the next morning. As punishment for his late night excursion to Oklahoma City, Jack and Ennis made him pull double duty on the ranch. Not only was he expected to do his chores but also Bobby's as well and the worse part is, he had been at it since six o'clock in the morning.

He felt another sharp pain lance down his back. He propped the rake he was using to clean out the stales and lean against the barn side. I hope there's a break involved somewhere in this he thought.

After another hour of work, he was finished. He did not want to do any more work and needed a break. Looking around, the two men were nowhere to be found.

"Uh, I'm going to the bathroom" he said to the rancher in charge of looking after his work.

"Whatever" he replied, "be back in five". Jess nodded and headed out of the farm and when he was at a safe enough distance, he turned down the dirt road and began to run towards town.

Thirty minutes later, he stood panting on the outskirts of the abandoned soccer field where he spotted Lois sitting crossed legged on one of the tables.

"Hey Jess," she said as he sat next to her "you look tired".

"Had to do work on the ranch," he said.

"Sorry bout that" she said "ya know, its been awhile since we've been here together".

"Ya" he replied "guess what with school and stuff and things at home-"

"Ya, I hear ya," she said.

"Got any good sketches?"

"Nope, jus' the usual sunrises and still's" Jess shrugged, not speaking for a moment as he looked across the abandoned field.

"Does anyone ever come here?" he asked.

"Not really" she said, "lot o' people here don' like ta play soccer that much". He nodded and laid back on the table.

"Ya okay?" she asked.

"I'm just tired" he said, "Can we just rest for a moment?"

"Sure" she said "I can do with a few moments of silence" she then laid down next to him and the two went quiet.

Jess closed his eyes. It was an unusually warm day out, the sun high and shinning above, slightly warming his skin. The trees were gently waving in the breeze, a nice rhythmic motion that almost sounded like the gentle lapping of waves at the beach.

For the first time, Jess didn't mind the quiet. He didn't mind the openness around him, the calmness of it all. It was the first time since he'd been here that he could call this place home.

"Lois" he said.

"Ya?" she answered.

"You wanna go take a walk with?" he asked.

"That's sounds nice," she said simply.

They got off the bench and began to walk across the field. Jess looked over to see she was smiling.

"What?" he asked.

"Oh nothin" she said "I was just wonderin' how long it would take ya before ya came to call this place home".

He laughed, "How could ya tell?"

"I've jus' never seen ya so relaxed before" she said.

"Really?" he said.

"Ya. Its nice".

Jess smiled "ya, it does feel nice".

* * *

"God damn that kid" Ennis muttered for the hundredth time as he paced up and down the porch.

"Ennis, calm down" Jack said, who was leaning against one of the banisters.

"He's got ta make things so fuckin' difficult" Ennis kept going "why is he always fightin' me".

"Ennis, again, calm down" Jack said "he'll come back and believe me, he'll be punished for this but your not solvin' anythin' jus' pacin' up and down the porch like this".

He breathed out heavily "I know Jack" he said "but I am jus' so frustrated with him! Nothin' I do seems to be goin' through his head".

"I know Jess can be difficult at times" Jack said "but-"

"I know, I know" he said hastily "give him time".

Then Ennis spotted Jess walking up the driveway and he felt a wave of anger rush through him.

"Where the fuck have ya been?" Ennis demanded, walking up to him.

"I needed a break" Jess replied.

"You'll get a break when I say ya can get a break" Ennis growled.

"I'm back aren't I? I'll finish the work" Jess replied.

"I expect ya will" Ennis said "and for goin' off like that, you count on another day of work tomorrow".

"Fine" Jess said.

This caught Ennis off guard. He'd been expecting a smart-ass comment, not such an obedient manner.

"Good" Ennis said after a moment "now git ta work".

Without another word, Jess turned around and headed for the ranch.

"Wow" Jack said, "That was easy".

"Ya" Ennis replied, "kinda expectin' his usual".

"But this is good!" Jack exclaimed, wrapping an arm around him "this means he's listenin' ta us. I told ya! Its like I keep tellin' ya!"

"Yes cowboy, I know" Ennis said, smiling in spite of himself "give it time".

"Damn straight" then Jack gave him a kiss. Their eyes met and a silent message crossed between them. Without a second thought, they hurried off to the office and this time, Ennis made sure to lock the door behind them.

* * *

Bobby was bent over his math homework, Jess right behind him helping him through the equation.

"Come on Bobby" he said, "we've been through this before".

He thought for a moment, looking at the equation, thinking carefully through the steps. Finally, it seemed to click and he quickly scribbled down the answer.

"Very good" Jess said "and look at that, you now have no more homework for the rest of break".

"That's a relief," Bobby said, stuffing the paper back into his backpack.

"So" Jess said "how's Tammy after she and Macarthur danced their final duet?"

"Huh?" Bobby said.

"I mean, how is she after the breakup" Jess said.

"Okay I guess" he said, "We talked a bit about it. Said she'd known for awhile what Macarthur was up ta and she jus' couldn't take it no more".

"Simple enough" he said "so, anything else happen?"

"No" Bobby said "and I don' plan ta let anythin' happen".

"Well why hell not?" Jess asked, "I thought you would have been screaming to the heavens that Tammy is a free girl. Ya still like her, do ya?"

"Yes, of course I do!" Bobby exclaimed "its jus' that I wanna give her some time".

"Doesn't sound she needs time" Jess said flatly.

"And what? You're an expert?"

"Trust me Bobby" Jess said "to me, Tammy doesn't strike me as a girl who doesn't break down after a break up, especially one when it didn't really mean anything at all".

"Even so" he said, "I mean, I jus'…I'm not…I…I don't, know how a relationship works".

"Its like any other relation you have" Jess said "except both of you have the hots for one another. Just listen Bobby, you are a great guy and girls would love to be your girlfriend. It like I keep saying, you just have to be more confident in yourself. So tell ya what" Jess sat next to him.

"If you're not ready, don't force yourself" he continued, "just…wait for the right moment".

"And how will I know when it's the…right moment?" he asked.

"Trust me" Jess said, "you will know".

Bobby nodded "you seem ta know an awful lot bout this stuff".

"Ya" Jess said, "I'm very in touch with my feminine side. That and…I'm a genius".

Bobby laughed "funny"

"Anyway" Jess continued, "wait for the right moment and ya'll have nothing to fear". Bobby nodded again.

"Okay, come on" Jess said "might as well see what shit Jack's prepared tonight".

"Is that very nice?" Bobby asked but Jess was out the door before he could answer.

* * *

"You're leaving!" Jess exclaimed on Monday morning "who the hell am I gonna hang out with then? Earl?" he was referring to the ranch hand that supervised his work.

"I'm sorry Jess" Lois said over the phone "but I hardly ever see my aunt and she always gives me nice art stuff for Christmas". Jess mumbled something.

"Oh, don't be such a sour puss" Lois said, "I'll be back in a week".

"A week?" Jess said.

"Yes, a week" Lois said "you can survive without little ol' me".

"Ya well, its not exactly a theory we've tested before" he said sarcastically.

She laughed "oh don't worry, ya'll find somethin' ta do. If ya want, you can go and see that James fella". A flashbulb went off in Jess's head. That actually wasn't such a bad idea he thought.

"I guess I could" he said "but I don't know where he lives".

"Easy, he lives on Silver Street, residence 136".

"And you know this how?" Jess asked.

"I have my resources" she said "so drop in on him, at least ya'll have someone ta talk ta when I'm gone".

"Suppose" he replied.

"Well, I better git packin', we're leavin' very soon" she said, "Have a good Christmas! I expect to hear all about it when I get back".

"Bye Lois" he said "have fun".

"Can do" then the line went dead.

Hanging up the phone, he paced around the kitchen a bit, staring up at the clock that read ten twenty eight. He had nothing else to do, so he figured James's it was. He slipped on his shoes and through on his black zip up jacket and headed out to the ranch where Jack and Ennis were working.

"I'm going out," he said.

"Fine" Ennis replied, "don't be back late".

"Kay" he turned around and trekked back to the road. Jess remembered where Silver Street was; it was the same street they went to when they picked up Bobby on Halloween. Sure, it took him about twice as long to get their but he figured exercise wouldn't hurt. Following the numbered houses, he soon came upon 136. It was a decent enough, one story house with a decent lawn and porch.

He climbed up and knocked on the door, feeling slightly awkward at this. A woman answered, her graying brown hair tied in a bun wearing a pair of jeans and a red blouse.

"Hi" Jess said "uh, is James here?"

"He's in the garage" she said "you a friend or somethin?"

"You can say that" he said simply.

"Well, side door is unlocked, help yourself"

"Thanks" he turned around and headed around the house till he found the side door, where he could hear the sound of some sort of drill going off. Figuring it polite, he knocked on the door.

The drill stopped and a few moments later, James appeared, shirtless and grease smeared across his muscled body.

"Uh, sorry" Jess said "I didn't mean to interrupt".

"No big" he said "whaddya want?"

"Well" he said, "I was just in the neighborhood and figured I drop by".

"Ya know where I live?" he asked.

"I know my information," he said simply "if ya want me to leave-"

"No no" he said "its all right, come on in". He opened the door a bit more and Jess walked into the garage.

It reeked of oil and fuel; many assorted tools were lying around while the Firebird was parked in the middle, hood up and a lot of parts seemingly missing.

"So, what are ya doing?" Jess asked as he took a seat on one of the stools, instantly regretting it as he felt something wet underneath.

"Nothin' much" he said "jus' tinkerin' with a few things. I do this most of the time".

Jess pulled out the rag underneath him, seeing it was covered in oil. There go my jeans he thought, placing the rag down.

"Ya know" Jess said, the sight of James shirtless making him uncomfortable "ya could open a window".

"I don't mind" James said absently as he began to wipe off his hands.

"Right" Jess said under his breath.

"I don't mean ta sound rude" James said "but, why exactly are ya hear?"

"Well" Jess said "my friend has gone away for the week and since I don't like to stay at my home, I figured I come and see how yer doin".

"Problems with yer dad again?" James asked, taking a seat next to him.

"Guess you can say that" he said.

"Well, what kinda problems?"

He shrugged "nothing really, just…same old shit. Just don't like him that much, that's all".

There was a brief silence before Jess spoke again "that woman who answered the door, she your aunt?"

"Yep" he said.

"She seems nice".

"She is" James said "bout the only real sane person in my family".

"Right" Jess said "the whole father and mother issue. Not to be rude or anything".

"Don't be," he said.

Again, a brief silence "so, where did all this stuff come from?" Jess asked.

"Just stuff from auto shops" he said "I knew a lot of dealers back in Stillwater and they gave me all their old parts whenever they got new equipment".

Jess nodded once more and again, the silence entered. Boy, this is weird he thought. He was just so used to Lois's endless chatter that this silence bit seemed a bit out of place.

"You really not afraid of me?" James asked. This kind of caught Jess off guard and he was silent for a good few seconds.

"A little" Jess said "I mean, no offense but, you look like one of those men from the prison movies".

"Ya, I figured. But really, I ain't as bad as I look".

"That's good" Jess said.

James gave a low laugh and once again the silence entered. Then it happened, the unexplained urge and for some reason, Jess couldn't contain it.

"My dad left my mom for another man" he said bluntly.

"Sorry?" James said, obviously caught off guard by the question.

"My dad" he said "he left my mom for a man, a rancher he met when he was herding sheep up in Wyoming back in 63. That's why him and me have problems, cause I blame that man for taking him away and for him leaving in the first place".

A deep silence entered the room and for one fleeting moment, he thought James was going to tell him to get out. Other then Lois, he was the only other person who knew now about Jack and Ennis.

"That's rough," he said after a long minute.

"No shit" Jess said bluntly. The silence entered once more.

"So, wanna help me with this thing?" James asked.

Jess looked at him "what?"

He sighed "I'm askin' whether or not ya wanna help me out with the car".

He looked at him some more "ya mean…you don't care?"

"Not really" James said "if that's what makes yer daddy happy, so be it" Jess continued to stare at him, still unsure of what to say.

"So" James said "ya wanna help or not?"

After a few moments, Jess decided to let it go. He chuckled and said "ya, that be nice".

"Cool" James said "grab a pair of gloves and let's get started, you can tell me more as we work". Jess hopped off the stole and picked up the least greasy pair and slipped them on.

From that moment on, through forces even Jess couldn't explain, he and James became friends.

For the next two hours, they worked on the Firebird, sharing stories to each other as they worked. Jess told him all about his life in New York and his whole thing in Shattuck while James told him about his family and his old life in Stillwater.

Not only did he gain a friend but he also learned a lot about cars that day. All in all, Jess figured it was a day well spent.

* * *

**Author's note: again, sorry about the delay, just been busy thats all. anyway, just bare with me cause i'm going to be really slow the next few months, so i apologize in advance. anyway, thanks for the reviews and keep them coming. once more, i apologize for grammer mistakes.**


	38. Chapter 37

**Authors note: well, here ya guys go, I was able to pump this chapter out relatively quick and I hope you guys like it. Also, for those of you who loved the whole Jess and L.D. thing, get ready cause the battle will ensue once more. Sorry, I had to say that. Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

December 25th, 1982

If you've ever asked someone where they will be in the next twenty years, their answers will always be about the same. They say they'll become someone rich and famous, have a dream job, a dream life, the perfect life.

Well, in actuality, the odds of this happening are pretty slim. Most of use will end up working medial jobs, be middle class, and just become another citizen of society. As for the movie stars and millionaires and billionaires, they are just a bunch of lucky bastards.

As for me? Well, like all people, I dream of that perfect life when I head into the business world, make a fortune, and have it all but realistically, I know this may never happen. I, like everyone else, may just be stuck in some sort of desk job working away at paper and clacking away on this thing called the computer (hey, give that thing four years and it will be everywhere).

At some point in their lives as well, I think Jack, Ennis, and Bobby have all dreamed of bigger and better things but considering the odds and where they grew up, that seemed highly unlikely. Jack and Ennis, I believe, have already felt they have the perfect life right now. And for that, I envy them.

Truth be told, we can never be sure what will come of us in the future, no one can. its one of those things we aren't suppose to know, so we can make our own decisions without having the burden of the future weigh down upon us.

So I guess you can say we'll never be certain where the future takes us, what this great mystery of life has in store for us. All we really can do is just enjoy the ride and see where it takes us.

* * *

Jess was lying awake in his bed, the covers pulled just beyond his waist. The moment he woke, he knew it was Christmas. He was met with both a mixture of sadness and weirdness. This was his first Christmas without his mom and realizing this not only was met with a pang of sadness but also with a mix of disbelief, that he really could be spending Christmas here in Shattuck with a twelve dollar tree, no lights, and barley any snow while in New York the great tree in Rockefeller center, the dozens of lights, and the powder of snow that fell regularly.

His presents for the men were beside his bed, all warped and ready in plain red wrapping paper. A thin stream of light spilled through the small window above his bed, the sun barely up at this time.

Ever since Monday, Jess had since been over at James's for nearly two hours everyday, most of the times longer. They would mostly just fiddle around with the car, which James supervised every time Jess was going to do something and after three days, he learned more about cars in three days then his whole life. They talk most of the time bout stuff from their lives and life in Shattuck and it was mostly contained to that cause they really had nothing else to talk about. James didn't really listen to music, nor did he care for movies that much, basically all the things Jess was into he wasn't but that was all right for him.

He found something oddly soothing about James, maybe it was his cool attitude or his laid back persona but whatever the reason, he was easy to talk to. Unlike Lois, who was energetic, talkative, and quick with the remarks.

James's aunt was also a very nice woman. Sure, she tended to come off a bit steely but after a few days, she actually revealed herself to be a really caring person.

After spending a few hours with James, Jess really didn't care how scary he was. All that mattered was the person he was inside. When Jess thought of this, he felt it was the biggest cliché he had ever thought off.

He finally decided that now was the time to get up, considering he wasn't going to be sleeping any time soon. He hauled himself off the bed, slipped on his usual attire of jeans and band t-shirt (the Blues Brothers). He made his way downstairs and slipped his presents under the tree, then he made his way to the kitchen to pour himself some coffee.

He made himself comfortable on the couch and turned on the TV. Of course, the only things that were on were Christmas specials or holiday themed episodes. Eventually, he settled on the Christmas edition of Laverne and Shirley.

An hour later, he heard the sound of rustling feet from upstairs, meaning the others were up. By now, Jess had watched the Three's Company, Happy Day's, and Bewitched Christmas shows and was on his second cup of coffee.

"Mornin' Jess" Jack said as he came downstairs "Merry Christmas".

"Thanks" he said in a not to enthused voice.

"Ah, cheer up Jess" Jack said "no need to be like that on Christmas".

"I'm trying," he said, "but its just not working".

Before Jack could say something, in walked Ennis and Bobby shortly behind.

"Mornin" Jack said, walking over and giving Ennis a kiss, Jess shuddering slightly.

"Mornin" Ennis replied when they broke free.

"So, we gonna open presents or what?" Bobby asked enthusiastically.

"Yes we will" Jack said "but first, ya hafta call yer mom".

"But dad, its such a waste of time" Bobby said.

"No it ain't" Jack said in a matter of fact voice.

"It ain't like she really asks for it" Bobby continued.

"Jus' do it Bobby, will ya?" it was obvious by his tone that Bobby wasn't getting out of it.

"Oh, all right" he headed over to the phone while Jack and Ennis took a seat on the couch, wrapping each other into their arms, which caused Jess to immediately get up and head over to the kitchen table while Bobby had the phone to his ear.

* * *

"Hi mom" he said when her heard his mom.

"Bobby" she said curtly "how are you?"

"Fine mom" he said.

"How's school going?"

"Okay I guess, still got straight C's though…but I got a B on my last English test".

"That's nice" for the first time, Bobby, thought he heard a little bit of that motherly encouragement from her.

"Anyway" he said after a pause "I'm jus' callin' ta say happy Christmas".

"Thanks Bobby" she said, "that's very sweet," it still sounded a bit cold but it seemed like she was trying to be sincere.

"Huh?" he heard her say "oh, Bobby, yer grandpa wants ta talk ta ya".

Bobby made an audible groan that caught Jess's attention, who was swiveling his coffee idly at the kitchen table.

"Hello there Bobby" he heard his grandpa's voice a few moments later.

"Hi grandpa" he said in a force voice.

"So, how ya doin? Did Football go well?"

"Ya, we won our last game of the season"

"That's my boy, knew ya had ta have gotten yer athletics from me, sure as hell wasn't yer daddy". Bobby fidgeted slightly. This was the reason why he hated to talk to his grandpa, cause he always found a way to throw an insult at either Ennis or Jack.

"So, ya doin' wrestlin' as well this year?"

"Ya, we had our first meet last week" he said.

"How didja do?"

"Okay, I was able to pin the guy and all".

"Knew it" L.D. said in a proud voice.

"Well, I was jus' callin' ta wish mom a happy Christmas" Bobby said, trying to wrap up the conversation "could ya tell grandma that as well?"

"Absolutely my boy" L.D. said "still don't seem right fer _them_ ta celabrate Christmas. Good Christian holiday that don't need ta be tarnished by those type of folk" Bobby felt his skin beginning to crawl.

"Swear Bobby, don't know how ya turned out the way you did" his grandfather continued, clearly on another tirade "considerin' being brought up by those people. Nearly killed me when I heard it, thinkin' you was gonna turn into a pansy jus' like him or worse, the other ones son-" Bobby felt someone tap his shoulder and he turned to see it was Jess.

"Is he bothering you?" he said.

"A bit-" he began.

"Knew it" Jess said "he is such a bastard, give me the phone".

Bobby almost said no, knowing full well how this will turn out. But before he could do anything, Jess snatched the phone and brought it to his ear, Bobby leaning in to listen.

"Hello L.D." Jess said in a relishing voice.

"You" he heard his grandpa hiss, "What are you doing on the phone? Where's Bobby?"

"Oh relax fat ass," Jess said, "I just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas, that's all".

"Comin' from you, its an insult" he hissed "tarnishing this day with you and yer fag father-"

"Now, now" Jess said "there's no need for that kind of language, especially on baby Jesus's birthday. So L.D. how are ya? Still as fat as ever?"

"Why you little" he heard L.D. roar.

"Wow fat ass" Jess continued, "You're breathing awfully heavy. You know, that's a sure sign of obesity when someone has to breath that hard when having an innocent conversation with a dear old friend". Bobby couldn't help but surprise laughter at the sound of this banter.

"So anyway L.D." Jess continued, "Lets just wrap this up so we can get on with our lives and you can eat the entire Christmas dinner".

"You insolent little shit!" L.D. said in furious voice.

"Love ya too bitch" and with that, Jess hung up the phone.

* * *

When he hung up the phone, Jess began to laugh hysterically. It was also so good to just mess with that fat miserable old hick.

"Oh, I needed that" Jess said, positively happy now.

Walking into the living room, he saw the looks of Ennis and Jack, obviously having heard his laughter in the kitchen. It was probably the first time they'd ever heard him laugh before.

"What happened?" Ennis asked Bobby as he walked in, he too with a smile on his face.

"Well, called mom" he said "then L.D. came on and then Jess hear totally went off on him".

"Ya know that wasn't such a good thing" Jack said "no matter how good it may have been and no matter how much we support it, its still bad".

"Wish I coulda don' it" Ennis said. Everyone laughed, even Jess, which he found extremely odd.

"So, we gonna open presents now?" Bobby asked.

"Oh all right" Ennis said, "lets get it done".

Jack and Bobby headed to the tree, pulling out the presents while Ennis remained on the couch and Jess sat alone at the solitary chair.

By now, the joy of pissing L.D off had worn by now, and once again Jess was in his usual mood. He watched as they all exchanged presents with one another, Bobby getting some clothes, car products, and even a new pair of boots. Jack and Ennis meanwhile getting about the same stuff, consisting as well with cowboy stuff, new boots, and ranching equipment.

As for Jess, his stuff was okay to say the least; he at least could tell they tried getting him stuff. Jess got another band t-shirt from Jack, finding it impressive he actually found one but not so much when it turned out to be a Black Sabbath one, considering he already had five of them. Bobby's gift was a couple of free movie passes for the Kellyville drive in, which Jess actually liked, even thanking him for them. But as for Ennis, there didn't seem to be a gift from him.

Bobby nearly died when he saw the autographed Yankess's shirt.

"Holy shit!" Bobby exclaimed, "How, what, how did you get this?"

"Friend of mine" he said "didn't really care for it, so I figured you might like it".

"I don't know what ta say! Shit, thanks Jess" and then he locked Jess in a backbreaking hug. Then it came time for Jack and Ennis's presents.

Jack opened his up to find a rodeo book with a guy on a bucking bull on the cover.

"Turn to page thirty six" Jess said.

Jack did and his mouth nearly dropped open, cause on page thirty six happened to be a large picture of Jack riding a bull in a local competition and a description of the event down below

"Oh my god, I remember this!" Jack exclaimed, "This is when I won that belt of mine".

"Ya mean that ugly old thing up in the wardrobe?" Ennis said.

"Shut up cowboy" Jack said, elbowing him lightly "wow Jess, how didja find this?"

"Found in a book store" Jess said "thought it be nice for ya to see your face in a nationally distributed book".

"This is…unbelievable, thanks Jess" and he too gave Jess a hug, which he found both awkward and nice.

Then Ennis opened his, which happened to be a large photo album.

"Ya said you wanted to know my life" Jess said, "well, there you go".

When he went to Oklahoma City, he found this one scrapbook shop that specialized in custom photo albums. In it, he placed in chronological order all the pictures he had saved with him starting from when he was just a kid all the way to the very last picture of him before leaving.

Ennis began to rifle through the book, a pained expression on his face as he looked at the photos from Jess's past, trying to find the words to say.

"Wow" he said in a strained voice "this is…this is…thank you Jess" and just like with the others, he came over and gave Jess a hug as well. When he pulled away, Jess though he saw tears in his eyes.

"And there's one more" he said. He headed over to the tree and scooped up a long, thin rectangular gift Jess had not noticed before.

"Here" he said, handing it to Jess "I hope ya like it".

Unsure exactly what the present could be, considering how small it was, being no bigger then a card. He tore open the red wrapping paper and looked down in confusion. They were plane tickets, two of them in fact. Then Jess looked more closely and he felt his stomach drop and his heart stop.

They were two plane tickets for New York City.

Jess was overcome with shock and when I tried to speak, all he could manage was a small crocking voice. He still couldn't believe it, plane tickets, bound for New York City. He was going back; back to the world he thought he'd left behind for good.

"Its fer a two day trip" Ennis said, "leavin' on the 27th. Its all been arranged for us".

This brought Jess out of his comatose state "us?" he said.

"Ya" Ennis said, "ya didn't think we let ya go alone? I'm comin' with ya".

Normally, this would have brought Jess down but he was far to happy and still too much in shock to really care.

"Okay" Jess said, still in a weak voice. Even Bobby seemed amazed at Jess's gift.

"Shit Ennis" Bobby said, "where did you guys get the money fer that?"

"Oh, ya know what Ennis, we still need to give them the good news" Jack said, standing up.

"What?" both Bobby and Jess said.

"Well boys" Jack said, wrapping an arm around Ennis "it seems our plans for expansion have been a success. We are now the heads of the fully functioning and as of now, newly recognized business owners of the Brokeback Ranch Company, with nine other operating branches on our belt with three more in the works and five more in talks"

This caused Bobby to jump up and give a shout of joy "holy fuck!" he yelled, running over to Jack and giving him a hug "that's great pop! This is…this is…shit" he finished in an exasperated voice.

"Couldn't have said it any better" Ennis said joining in the group hug while Jess slumped back on the couch, still overcome in shock.

Wow he thought I really am going back.

After a few moments, Jess got up, clutching the tickets tightly in his hand and walking over to Ennis as he pulled away from the others.

"Thanks" Jess said, "This was…really nice" finding no other words to say.

"Ya" Ennis said, a twinkle in his eyes "yer's as well".

Jess nodded "well…thanks again" he then gave Ennis a small hug before pulling away and walking, still half shell shocked, up the stairs.

All in all, this was the best Christmas Jess had ever had.


	39. Chapter 38

"Wow, trip to New York" James said after hearing of the news "that's pretty big". It was no the day after Christmas, tomorrow being the day when Jess and Ennis would take the trip to New York. Jess was now at James's house, sitting on one of the stools while he worked on something in the car.

"I know" Jess replied "still can't believe he actually did though".

"Well, I hope you still don't think ill towards him after something like that" he said.

"I don't, really" Jess said "but…"

"What? You still have somethin' against him?"

Jess shrugged "I dunno, maybe. Just, you have to understand, you can't just dissolve away nearly nine years of hatred away like that".

"Well, ya can try" James said "I mean, he really don't sound like a bad guy at all".

"I know that already" Jess replied.

"Either way" he said, walking over to Jess and taking a seat "trip back home, I'd say that's saying that a person cares about someone".

"You sound like Lois" Jess said.

"Speakin' of her, when she comin' back?"

"In about two days" he said, "I won't be back to see her though. Why?"

"Nothin" he said "I jus' figured I should git ta know her better, she being yer friend and all".

"Logical" Jess said, "When she gets back, we can all do somethin' together. Like going to the movies?"

"Not really" he said.

"Well, that's mostly what we do" Jess said "so you're just gonna have to deal". After another hour or so, Jess decided it was time to leave. He said bye to James and he wished him a good time in New York, as did his aunt.

Walking down the road back to the ranch, Jess kept on thinking about the trip to New York. He wondered how much had changed back there, how his friends are doing, Marty's and Marlene, stuff he had so long taken for granted and when it was gone, realizing how much he missed it. But now he was going back, back after nearly three months of this isolation, back to the city of lights, sound, people, the capitol of the world.

He arrived back at the house to find Bobby getting into his car.

"Where ya going?" Jess asked him.

"Headin' over ta the grocers," he replied.

"Can't Jack or Ennis do it?"

"There to busy prepping fer when the two of ya go tomorrow".

"Mind if I come?"

"Sure, it's not problem. Hop in". Jess hurried around the car and opened the passenger door, Bobby pulling out down the driveway.

"Where were ya?" he asked.

"James" Jess replied.

"Ya mean that kid who looks like he got outta prison?"

"That's him" Jess replied "and he's not that bad once ya get to know him".

"Okay, if ya say so" Bobby replied.

Since the Madera's were away for the week, Mr. Madera's assistant George ran the store for the time being. Jess didn't know much about him but he seemed friendly enough. Jess decided to stockpile on Dr. Pepper, that he had something to drink in that house besides coffee. As he rummaged through the cereal, he spotted Tammy a few ways down.

"Oh look" Jess said "if it isn't Tammy what's-her-face".

"Wha-?" Bobby asked but then he saw Tammy and he went silent.

"Why don't cha go talk to her?"

"Well, I mean" Bobby stammered, "It's a bit soon-"

"Soon?" Jess said, "She and that axe-wound Macarthur have been broken up now for a week, I think that's enough time for a girl to recuperate, especially when he didn't really care for her in the first place".

"But-" Bobby began.

"Oh, very well" Jess said "I see where this is going" he then began to walk down the aisle. And it seems I'll have to do something about it Jess thought.

He quickly lowered his voice down to Bobby's and yelled "TAMMY!" then he quickly scurried off before Bobby even knew what happened.

* * *

That little bastard Bobby thought.

"Hey Bobby" Tammy said, walking up to him.

"Uh…hey Tammy" he said, swallowing nervously "so, how have ya been?"

She shrugged "okay, I guess".

"That's good, that's good," Bobby said, whipping his hands on his jeans "so didja have a good Christmas?"

"Oh yes" Tammy said, "we had my relatives over and we exchanged presents. Was real nice, I don't git ta see my relatives a whole lot".

"Kay" he said, nodding slightly "so uh…what are ya doing here?"

"Just getting some things," she said. Of course she's getting things you dumb ass! Bobby thought.

"So um…" quick, think of something! Think! "So, ya doin' anythin' tonight?"

"Not really" she said, "I might finish my paper fer English but other then that, nope. Why?"

"Nothin', nothin" Bobby said quickly "just wanted ta know".

"Oh, okay" she said.

"Yeah" Bobby said, smiling stupidly.

"So…I guess I'll see ya around then?" she said.

"Uh oh, yeah, yeah I'll see ya around as well," he said quickly.

"Well, have a nice break" she said before walking down the aisle.

"I'll see ya around as well?" came the snarling voice of Jess "what the fuck was that? You had the perfect opportunity to ask her out and you don't even say anything?"

"Only because you called her out in the first place" he shot back.

"Yeah, cause I knew you wouldn't" Jess replied "I mean, god dammit Bobby, grow some balls already! At the rate your going, the only way you'll ever get sex is with twenty bucks in a seedy back ally with a woman named Paradise".

"What?" Bobby said.

"My point" Jess said in a matter of fact tone "look Bobby, it really isn't difficult, ya did it before, why should it be so hard now?"

"Well, I just think she still needs time" Bobby said.

Jess rolled his eyes "fine, have it your way. But don't blame me when someone else snatches her up because you were to slow to act".

"Don't worry, I won't" Bobby replied.

They paid for the groceries and made their way back to the car, loading them up in the back and then pulling out into the main road.

"So, ya excited ta be going back ta New York?" Bobby asked.

"Of course" Jess said, "I wonder how much has changed".

"Well, it's only been four months" Bobby said.

"You really haven't been to a city, have ya?" Jess said "every day, something changes in the city. Its what makes it so unique, knowing that each day will bring something different".

"Personally, I don't think I can handle all those people" Bobby said.

"That's because your so used to…this" Jess said "I swear, sometimes I go crazy with all this silence. And there is nothing to do here, while in New York you can go the Coney Island, the Empire State Building, Staten Island, and so many other places, it never gets old".

"If you put it that way" Bobby said.

"Trust me Bobby" Jess said, "Other then Hollywood, you won't find any place like it".

* * *

Ennis was watching the news until Jess came downstairs and sat down on the couch.

"Watching this?" Jess asked.

"Not really" Ennis replied "why?"

"A new episode of Three's Company is on" Jess said.

"I ain't watchin' that shit".

"It's not shit, its entertainment" and with that, he grabbed the remote from Ennis's hand and switched it to ABC, where the annoying opening was already playing. Ennis hated the shows on TV now a days, they were all either very stupid or very gay. What ever happened to all the good shows? Now all they had was this shit on the network. He just thought the idea of a show where a guy is pretending to be gay just so he can live in an apartment with two woman seemed just plain stupid.

He begrudgingly watched the show, hardly finding it at all humorous.

"The show really hasn't been the same since Suzanne Somers left" Jess said half to himself.

"You pack yer stuff?"

"Yes" Jess said.

"Excited fer tomorrow?"

"Yes". Once again, Ennis got a slightly chilly reception from him. God damn him he thought, even after that gift, he still seems so distant. He had been hoping the gift would bring them more together but it just seemed that things hadn't change.

"I'm going to bed," Jess said.

"Kay" Ennis replied, "remember, we leave at six". Jess waved in acknowledgement and tromped upstairs, Ennis gladly turning off the TV. He got up and headed up to his room, stripping off his clothes and hopping into the shower.

"Ennis" he heard Jack call "you in there?"

"Yeah, be out in a minute" he replied. Finishing off, he turned off the showerhead and grabbed himself a towel, wrapping it around his waist and opening the door where Jack was standing.

"All yers" he said.

"Thanks" and he slipped past him.

Ennis sat down on the bed and waited until Jack was finished. He heard the sound of the shower turn off and the curtain pull back.

"You remember to set the alarm?" Jack said to him.

"Yep" he replied.

"And you sure you packed enough?"

"Yes Jack" Ennis said "don't worry, I got everythin' taken care of".

"All right, if ya say so". There was silence for a few minutes before Ennis got off the bed, towel still wrapped around his waist, and he opened the door. Jack was standing in front of the mirror, finished brushing his teeth and seeing Ennis standing in the doorway.

"What's this all about?" Jack asked, a devious smile on his face.

"Well" Ennis said, a smile crossing his face as well "since I'm not gonna be here fer a couple days, I figured I give ya a little somethin'. Think of it like a late Christmas present".

"Oh? And what might this present be?" Jack turning around, Ennis already seeing him getting worked.

"You'll see" then Ennis let the towel drop, as did Jack with his. Without a word the two stepped forward, locked each other in their arms and began to kiss.

Ennis taking in large chunks of Jack's mouth, one of his hands grabbing that ass he loved so much, Jack's leg slowly hiking up around him. Then in one swift motion, Ennis lifted Jack off his feet and brought him to the bed. Before long, he began to travel down Jack's body, savoring the flesh he wouldn't taste for two days and swiftly taking in one of his favorite body parts on Jack.

Jack moaned helplessly, running his fingers through Ennis's hair as he kept going, doing things with his tongue and mouth he never thought possible. Then Ennis did something Jack didn't see. He flipped Jack over on his back and began to go to work on his ass. Jack grabbed huge chunks of sheets, the feel of Ennis's tongue and mouth simply pushing him to the edge, trying desperately to keep it all in.

And he didn't stop for nearly ten whole minutes, just hearing the sounds of his mate wanting him to push on. When he finally stopped, he flipped Jack over, his eyes hungry for more and Ennis kissing him deeply in return, slowly pushing himself into Jack. He went slow at first, letting Jack ease in and then his head disappeared again, kissing and licking at Jack's hard chest and slowly going faster, the sound of his pants and moans getting him going.

As he kept going, Ennis began to realize that with him going to New York with Jess, it would be the first time in years that he and Jack had been separated. No matter what, they had always done things as a team, from getting the ranch going, raising Bobby, business trips, and even with Jess, it had always been a team effort.

The realization of this made Ennis pull his head up and kiss Jack hard and deep, tightening his legs, and beginning to go at him with full force. He kept his lips close to Jack's, never letting them part as he went, breathing in that scent he loved, feel his warm body against his, he tried to preserve this moment in this memory so he'd never forget it.

Then, with a few more thrusts, he felt himself be pushed to the edge and soon Jack followed, both men collapsing together on the bed, breathing heavily.

"I love ya Jack" Ennis said in a whispered voice.

"I love ya too Ennis" he heard him reply. Ennis looked into his eyes, seeing the passion inside them, and he kissed him once more.

For hours, the two men remained like this, naked in the bed, kissing each other, Ennis occasionally pushing himself into Jack. The two men had had a lot of sex with each other but for Ennis, this was perhaps the most intimate they have been with each other and for him, he did not want it to end.

And somewhere through it all, whether it be from exhaustion or sleep, Ennis soon drifted off to sleep, finally no longer able to keep himself awake. He had wanted it to last forever and he hated for having it end.

He cracked an eye open, the clock reading 4:49, both men in the exact position they left off in. Ennis slowly turned his head to face Jack, his eyes closed, breathing softly. He smiled to himself, gently kissed him on the lips, and let himself be carried off back to sleep.

* * *

At the moment Ennis woke, Jess too cracked his eye open. Looking up, he could tell it was still pretty late out, but now he couldn't get back to sleep. So he got up, put on some jeans and a band t-shirt (the Black Sabbath one Jack got him) and picked up the brown suitcase which only a few weeks ago he had emptied. He headed downstairs, setting his suitcase near the table and checking to see the coffee was done, which it wasn't. Shit he thought, so he settled for the Dr. Pepper.

As he sat at the table, he kept on repeated to himself what today was. I go back to New York he thought, back to the place before all this happened. He just couldn't believe it, after nearly four months, he was going back. Sure, it was only four months but to Jess it seemed almost four years of living in this town.

After awhile, he clicked on the TV to see if anything was on and was able to watch a late night showing of Happy Day's. He settled on that for the rest of the hour until he heard Ennis call from him.

"Down here" he called. Soon, the other three men were downstairs, all dressed and ready with a suitcase in Ennis's hand.

"We should leave in thirty minutes," Ennis said.

"All right" Jess replied, Bobby coming over to sit next to him.

"So, yeah excited?" Bobby asked.

"No" Jess said in a mock voice "what do you think?" Bobby laughs slightly and the two watched the TV some more until it was time to go. They headed out to the car, putting their suitcases in the back and piling into the truck, Jess once again forced to sit on Jack's lap but this time with no snide comments. Jess kept quiet through most of the ride, only talking when either of the three was asking him something. By the time they arrived at the airport, his heart was beating very fast and his excitement was growing. Just a few more minutes and I'll be on that plane he thought.

They got through security and came to their terminal, which was already loading people.

"Now, you two gonna be all right?" Jack asked.

"Don't worry, we will" Ennis replied.

"And ya'll will call us right?" Bobby asked.

"Yes, don't worry, we will" he replied.

"Well, the two of ya have fun" Jack said "I see ya soon Jess".

"Yeah" he replied, "see ya".

"Tell me all bout it when ya get back, okay?" Bobby said.

"Don't worry, I will Bobby" Jess said.

"Oh" Jack said, putting his hands to his hips "I wanna kiss ya so badly…"

"Sorry cowboy" Ennis said "but I can give ya this" and the two men locked in a rough embrace. Jess tapped his foot awkwardly, cause it looked like a pretty intense hug, both grabbing huge handfuls of shirt.

"We're gonna miss our flight" Jess broke in.

"Oh, right, right" and the two reluctantly broke apart.

"Well" Jack said "I'll see ya soon?"

"Ya, see ya soon" Ennis replied, and giving a quick look around, he leaned in a whispered "I love ya".

"Love ya too" Jack replied, there lips just barely brushing against one another.

"Bye" Ennis said. The two men turned and began to walk towards the terminal, Jess walking briskly while Ennis sort of lagged behind. And not knowing why, Jess turned back to look at Jack and Bobby, both smiling and waving. They got their tickets checked and took their seats. Jess looked over to see Ennis breathing heavy.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah" he replied "I jus'…never been on a plane before".

"You've never been on a plane before?" Jess asked dumbfounded.

"No" Ennis replied, "first time". And apparently, he wasn't kidding cause as the plan began to move he quickly dove for the barf bag, holding it close to his chest, Jess rolling his eyes slightly.

Then the plane began to pick up speed, the engines roaring up, and soon the familiar whoosh happened and with it Jess's excitement soared. New York, here I come.

And with that whoosh as well, Ennis hurled.


	40. Chapter 39

After four hours of flight, Jess could finally see the New York skyline appearing just beyond the horizon. Home sweet home he thought.

As for Ennis, he had his head between his knees, still trying not to throw up again. The caption then chimed in, saying they will be descending soon into JFK airport.

"Hey" Jess said, prodding Ennis "we're landing soon".

"I ain't asleep," he growled.

"Then quit acting like such a pussy" he shot back. Before Ennis could retort, the plan began its decent and he quickly grabbed for the other barf bag.

The plane docked and the two made their way through the terminal and out into the airport and instantly Jess felt at home. The people, the noise, the sights, everything seemed to be a welcome home sign for him.

Ennis, on the other hand, did not feel so comfortable. For one, there were so many people and the noise it almost took him aback. How can he call this place home? He thought.

"Come on" Jess said, "We need to get our bags".

"Uh, right" Ennis said, regaining his composure "lets do that. Uh…"

Jess rolled his eyes "come on, its this way".

"how do you know?"

"Ennis, I've been to JFK before" he replied, "I know my way around".

At first, it took Jess a bit of adjustment, having to deal with the large crowds after four months away but eventually he got it back. He could tell how uncomfortable Ennis was, this was probably the most populated place he had ever been in. it sort of reminded him like his mom.

They grabbed their bags and headed out into the pickup area, which was crowded with people, luggage, taxis, and buses. Ennis jumped slightly from the bus horns, his breathing getting heavier and his joints beginning to clench up. There was too much noise, to many people.

"Ennis? Are you all right?" Jess asked as he slipped on his jacket, "You seem kinda…twitchy".

"Jus' to many people" he said through clenched teeth. He was then bumped into by a man who seemed to be in a rush.

"Watch it ass hole!" Ennis barked.

"Don't even bother Ennis" Jess said "you'll be getting a lot of that in the city".

"What? City folk don't have any manners?"

"Not really, no" he said simply "all right, we better find a taxi". He picked up his luggage and began to scan the parkway for any free taxis.

They finally found one at the very end of the roadway, Jess having to shove someone out of the way for them to get it.

"Hey! That was mine you punk!" yelled the disgruntled man.

"Find another!" Jess barked.

"I can see where you got yer attitude from" Ennis said.

"You have to be a dick to survive in the city" he replied as he hauled his suitcase in the back.

For the next thirty minutes or so, they were stuck in the airport traffic, moving only a few inches every other minute. Since Jess was used to the traffic, it really wasn't bothering him but for Ennis, he was getting really agitated as to how slow they were going.

"Come on" he said through gritted teeth.

"Calm down Ennis" Jess said, "Getting angry won't make it go faster".

"Its ridiculous" he said, "waitin' thirty minutes jus' ta get out of an airport".

"This isn't the country any more Ennis" Jess said simply "in a city, you got a lot of people crammed into a small space, stuff like this is bound to happen". After another few minutes, they finally got moving and soon they were out of the airport turnpike and driving through the borough of Queens.

Forty minutes later, the skyline of Manhattan soon came into view and they were driving across the waters to the cities heart. Seeing the skyline again, after nearly four months, it filled Jess with such happiness. For nearly seven years, this bustling area of New York, with its towering buildings, legendary streets, millions of people, it had been his home, his oyster, his paradise.

Even Ennis was in awe of it all. Never in all of his life had he seen buildings this big before, nor had he seen water this big before, or a bridge this big before, or this many cars, everything just seemed bigger in every aspect. And as he thought of this, he realized just how small he was.

As they drew nearer and nearer to the city, Jess begun to have a flashback of the day he first came to the city.

* * *

Jess was in the back of Ted's car, strapped in his seatbelt and seven years old at the time. Today was the day they were moving to the city, right now ridding across the bridge to Manhattan.

"Where we livin' again?" Jess asked, who at this point had not yet dropped his accent yet.

"It's a place called Chelsea," replied Ted "really nice place".

"Will there be other kids there?" he asked.

"Of course sweetie" said Alma "dozens of kids your age".

"You think they'll like me?"

"Of course honey" she replied "who wouldn't like you?" Jess smiled from this, buzzing with excitement.

Alma turned around, looking at the ghastly city up ahead. She still did not want to move here but after everything that happened back in Stillwater, it seemed like the best choice. And besides, she loved Ted, how could she say no?

"Its so big" she said "and there's so many cars".

"Well, what did you except?" he said "face it Alma, your going to be seein' a lot more people" she gave him a weak smile, telling him how nervous she was.

"Don' worry" he replied, taking her hand "everythin' will be fine. Jus' you wait, this city has places you can't find in the south. Trust me Alma, a few more weeks and you'll be lovin' the place".

Alma snorted, "Well, I highly doubt that".

Jess at this moment had his nose plastered right to the window, in absolute awe at the rising buildings before him. Never in his life had he seen a place so big, water this vast, and a bridge this big, it was almost like he had stepped into giants land.

And as they continued through the city, he became dazzled at all the lights, the people; it was almost like a dreamland.

"Momma" he said.

"What is it dear?" she asked.

"I think I'm gonna like it here" he said.

* * *

They soon pulled into the city, once again getting caught in the city traffic.

"Come on" Jess said, "We're getting out".

"We're not at the hotel yet," Ennis said.

"Ennis, we stay in this cab and it will take us hours to get to the hotel" he replied "and besides, I don't want to go to the hotel just yet". And without waiting for his reply, he opened the cab door and stepped out.

"God dammit" Ennis cursed.

Instantly, when Jess stepped out of that cab, he knew he was home. The skyscrapers, the noise, the people, everything. He was truly home again.

Ennis paid the man and quickly got out of the cab and everything hit him. At first, he was deafened by the shear noise, from the horns, the talk, the cars, it nearly barreled him over. He then saw the buildings, rising above him, so much bigger now that they were close up.

"Come on" Jess said, "We have to get out of the street". They quickly grabbed their luggage and made their way through the stationed cars and onto the street.

Stepping into the crowd, Ennis instantly felt uncomfortable. There were just so many people, a lot more then at the airport. People were yelling, bumping into him, even some cursing him.

"Where are we?" Ennis said.

"We're in downtown Manhattan" Jess replied, "what's our hotel?"

"Its this place" Ennis said, pulling out a sheet of paper.

"Ah" Jess said, "well that's a bit north of here. You can go if you want but I'm going to stay on the street".

"Fine" he said "but I'm stayin' with you, I ain't gonna leave ya alone in this city".

"Ennis I've been by my self in the city loads of time" Jess replied "and never once has something happened to me. But if you wanna come, be my guest". And he began to walk down the street, leaving Ennis standing there.

"Hey! Wait jus' a moment!" and he went off after him.

They had been dropped off in Lower Manhattan, a place Jess had never really been to a whole lot, mainly because there was hardly anything worthwhile to look at. The only real time he ever came to the lower part was to get to school. But as he and Ennis walked down the streets, he couldn't help but admire the place just a little bit more.

They were able to walk down Wall Street, which in Jess's terms is the only place to find so many big headed, greedy corporate guys on one street. They continued on through the Financial District, Ennis marveling at the strange architecture all around him. And as he kept looking around, he noticed a lot of people were giving him odd looks. He figured it was because he pretty much stood out in his cowboy attire in a crowd of all these businessmen and women. It kinda put him off a little.

"You all right?" Jess asked, noticing Ennis's expression.

"Fine" he replied.

Soon, they left Wall Street and were now at the World Trade Center complex. Ennis had to literally strain himself to get a full look of the towers. They were so big Ennis thought, just so big.

"Modern architecture" Jess said, "it'll never last". A few more minutes marveling at the sight, the two continued on their trek.

A quick run past City Hall and Jess found himself staring at his old school, Murry Bergtraum High School.

"This…is your old school?" Ennis asked.

"Yep" Jess replied.

"Its so…big" he said, "I never knew a school like this could be so huge".

"Well, when you have nearly 16 million people, schools are bound to be a lot bigger" Jess replied. Looking at the school, he once again had a flashback.

* * *

Jess and Alma had just gotten out of the subway and were now catching the bus that would take them to Bergtraum. Jess was feeling both excited and nervous. But then again, your first day of high school always seems a bit overwhelming.

"You know mom" Jess said, "I could have come here by myself".

"Yeah well, I don't like you going this far into downtown" she said.

"We're not in the slums mom" he said, "This is like the most upper-class place in all of downtown".

"Well I still wanna be there to see this school I'm bustin' my back for" she replied. Since Ted died, Alma had to take up an extra job just to pay for the school's enrolment fee.

"You know mom" Jess said, "If it was to much, I could have gone someplace else".

"No way" she said, "if this school is as good as it is, your goin'. I want ya to have every opportunity I never had".

"Yes, I know mom" he said, having gone over this discussion with her many times before. A few minutes later and they pulled up to the school, which was already crowded outside with a lot of students.

"This is it" Jess said.

"Wow" Alma said, "I can see why this place is so expensive". He grabbed his schoolbag and followed his mom off the bus, the butterflies in his stomach intensifying.

"All right" she said "now, good luck on yer first day and be safe, listen to yer teachers-"

"I know, I know" Jess replied, "I'll be fine mom. Besides, I should worry about you. Are you sure you can make it back to the apartment?"

"Hey, I'm not completely helpless" she said.

"Jess!" he turned to see his girlfriend Ana waving to him.

"I better go mom" he said, "I'll see you later, all right?"

"All right" she said, giving him a hug and a peck on the cheek "you are good now".

"I will," he said, giving her a hug before walking off.

"Hey" he said, giving Ana a kiss and wrapping his arm around her.

"So, first day of high school" she said "you nervous?"

"Maybe a little" he replied.

* * *

After a bit of admiration for his school, the two continued on their walk through the city. Jess looked over to Ennis, who seemed to become more and more nervous as they kept on walking.

"Are you sure your all right?" Jess asked.

"People" he replied, "their…staring at me".

"Well, can yeah blame them?" Jess asked, "I mean, look around Ennis. Your probably one of only fifteen cowboys in all of New York". Ennis kind of suspected this.

"Anyway, come on" Jess said, steering towards one of the subway entrances.

"Where are we goin?" he asked.

"We're taking the subway" Jess replied "it will be faster then to walk all the way to Midtown".

The subway was the same as ever with its graffiti walls, hordes of people, plastered signs, and the echo of coming trains. Jess had been in the subway so many times that he had by now remembered where all the lines and routes took you. They paid the fare and waited on the terminal for the train to ride. Soon enough, the familiar sound engulfed the term and the train came to a screeching halt in front of them. Jess had to elbow his way through the crowd, eventually finding a free seat in the way back, Ennis having to stand.

"I'd grab the rail if I were you" Jess said.

"Why?" Ennis asked. Then the train started up and once it got moving, Ennis totally lost his balanced and toppled over into people, causing them to curse at him and push him upright.

"That's why" Jess said simply.

Ennis had never felt so uncomfortable in his life. The fact he was crammed into this pile of shit with all these people, completely underground, it was unnerving. He kept thinking the entire ceiling would cave in on them with all the racket this train was making.

"How can you stand all of this?" Ennis asked him.

"Stand what?" Jess said.

"This" he said "all these people, the noise, don't it jus' get ta ya?"

"Nope" Jess said simply "and I could be asking you the same question".

"Didn't I jus' say I hated the city?"

"No, not that" he replied "its back home. Personally, I can't stand it all that much. There is absolutely nothing to do, hardly any people around, and its so damn quiet! I swear, when I first came there it was like entering the Twilight Zone. And even when you do meet people, they are all the same. Either the men look like you or the woman dress up like dotting housewives. Its all just so…bland".

"Well, I don't think it ain't so bad" he said "sure as hell wouldn't give it up fer all this".

"And that's why we're so different" Jess said coldly.

Before Ennis could say something, the train came to a halt and the doors swung open.

"This is us," Jess said. Once again, they elbowed their way through the crowd and ascended the escalators until they were above ground again and on the busy intersection of Seventh Avenue, Jess's true home.

* * *

"I swear ta Jesus" Alma said "I can't find my way around this god damn city". She and Jess were both wandering around the avenue, Alma keeping a firm grip on her ten year old son's hand.

"Mom" Jess asked, "Are we lost?"

"No sweetie, we're not" she replied "and how many times have I told ya how much I hated that voice?"

"Sorry mom" he said. It had been over a month now since he had finally dropped his southern accent, something he'd been trying to do now for quite some time until finally he mastered it.

"God dammit!" she swore, "Where the hell are we?"

"You know mom" Jess said "we could just call a taxi to take us home".

"Ain't no way I'm payin' fer somethin' I can do for free" she replied. After a few minutes of walking around, Alma finally seemed to find out where she was going.

"Thank god" she said once they reached their apartment "I don't know what Ted was thinkin' but-" as Alma began her familiar rant about the city, Jess couldn't help but wonder why his mom had such a hard time getting around the city when it was so easy for him.

* * *

The familiar sight of Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall and the Empire State Building in the distance bathed over him in a warm glow. He was so close now to his old apartment, all he had to do was walk down Seventh Avenue until he reached Chelsea neighborhood and there his apartment would be.

However, for Ennis, it was something else entirely. If he was suffocated in the subway, then he near about fainted when he saw this place. There were even more people then before, the buildings even taller, the lights brighter, the sound louder. Right now, all Ennis wanted to be was back in Shattuck, in his house, with Jack.

"Ennis?" Jess asked, seeing his ashen face.

"I think I'm ready fer the hotel now" he said gravelly.

Jess rolled his eyes "you're just acting scared". After a moment, Jess thought it over and decided to do it.

"Come on" Jess said.

"Now where are we goin?" Ennis asked.

"You'll see" Jess replied "come on". Seeing as he had no other choice, Ennis followed.

Jess made sure to keep close to Ennis, the last thing he wanted was for either of them to get separated. He couldn't imagine how he would feel left alone in this city. They made their way down Seventh Avenue, pushing through the throngs of people, before Jess made a turn onto Broadway. As they passed along the many theaters, Jess what hit with the memories of he and his friends coming down here to see one of the many plays, Jess favorite still being Sweeny Todd. He wasn't sure why but the idea of a homicidal barber and his pie making lover as a musical just seemed like a perfect combination.

After a few treks, they soon came to Herald Square and outside the place Jess was looking for.

"What are we doin' here?" Ennis asked.

"Ennis, if ya want people to stop eye-balling you, you wanna fit in" Jess said "and if you wanna fit in New York, this is the place" he was referring, of course, to Macy's. With that said, they walked into the store.

As usual, the place was crowded with people and everything had that whole Macy's feel. Sure, Jess didn't get any of his clothes here but it was a very nice store.

"Come on" Jess said, heading into the men's department.

"I don' really like the stuff here" Ennis said as Jess began to take off pants, shirts, and jackets off their hangers.

"Ennis, Macy's is like the Church of clothing here in New York" he said "if you took a survey, nearly seventy percent of the people in this city have a Macy's outfit".

"Hey, wait" Ennis said "do we even have enough money fer all this?"

"You have a banking account right?" Jess said simply.

"Yes" he replied "but we only use that fer stuff to help the farm".

"Oh live a little" Jess said "here" he handed him the clothes "slip these on, I think I got the right size". Ennis didn't like it but he sucked it up and entered one of the changing booths.

Jess waited a few minutes before asking "you done in there?"

"Hold on" he heard him growl. When he stepped out, Jess's mouth nearly dropped slightly. It was a complete change from the Ennis he knew, who only wore pair after pair of muddied jeans, crumpled shirts, and those tacky jean jackets. Now he was dressed in extremely dark blue jeans, a solid black shirt, and navy blue colored jacket. If Jess didn't know any better but he looked like an actual city guy.

"Wow" Jess said.

"I ain't wearin' this" Ennis said, taking a look at himself in the mirror.

"Oh come on Ennis, you look great" he replied.

"I look like some sorta pansy," he said.

"The eighties is all about looking like a pansy" Jess replied "and besides, I thought you didn't want to be stared at?"

Ennis looked at himself in the mirror, not really liking what he saw. This outfit did not do it for him. For one, the jeans were way to loose for him; the fabric felt like woman's clothing, and this jacket was so tough, never having been broken in before.

"Ain't their anythin' else?"

"Not if you want to go over budget" Jess said.

And before Ennis knew it, he was walking out of the store with his brand new, seventy-dollar outfit with his old clothes stuffed into his suitcase.

"All right, I did what you wanted" he said; "now I wanna get ta the hotel".

"Fine, fine, fine" Jess said "if it will please you".

They headed out of Herald Square; back up Broadway until they came to an intersection that was right at the edge of Central Park.

"Come on" Jess said, walking across the street.

"Why are we going through there?" Ennis asked.

"Shortcut" Jess replied, "Our hotel is north of here and if we cut through Central Park, we'll shave off a few minutes".

Walking through Central Park brought back a lot of memories for Jess. Not only was it one of the best places you could go to in New York but also it was the one place in New York that his mom actually liked. In fact, walking through the archway into the park, Jess found himself remembering one day when he and his mom came here.

* * *

It was a particularly fine July day. The sun was out, the temperature was just right, the city seemed abnormally calm, and everyone just seemed to be in this sober state, as if everyone was appreciating this beautiful day.

Jess was twelve at this time, ready to turn thirteen in just a few weeks, and he and Alma had come to Central Park to just enjoy the day. They both were sitting on one of the benches that overlooked the lake, alive with all the wildlife that all seemed just as happy to be out. Ad the sparkling water and the sun streaming through the trees, it all seemed like something out of a fairy tale.

"I swear Jess" Alma said, "why do ya insist on wearin' that stuff?"

"Cause I like it" he replied.

"Kids in this city" she said "ya'll wear the damnest things. Now, if we was in the south, ya wouldn't be findin' no boys dressin' like that".

"I know, I know mom" Jess said "but looking at those photos and those clothes the men wear, I'm glad I don't live in the south". Alma chuckled slightly.

"You thought about what ya want ta do fer your birthday?" Alma asked.

"I'm not sure" Jess said "thinkin' maybe me and the others going up to Coney Island".

"Don't ya'll go their every week?" Alma asked "this is a special birthday Jess, the day you turn thirteen, that's a big birthday".

"I thought sixteen was that big birthday?" Jess asked.

She laughed "yes, that too. But thirteen is the first step for ya ta becomin' a man, means ya no longer a kid".

"Well, I don't want to grow up just yet!" Jess said.

"Oh don't worry," she said, "there's still plenty of time for ya ta still act like a kid".

"Well that's good" Jess said, "Will Ted be home for my birthday?"

"Of course he will" she said "you know he always takes the day off on yer birthday".

"Right, I forgot" he said, a smile coming onto his face on how stupid he sounded.

Alma sighed "only good place in this god awful city" she said.

"That's not true" Jess said, "there's plenty of good places here!"

"Sorry Jess" she said "but I can never be used ta this city like you can. Give me a quiet little town over all this and I'd take it".

"I know mom" Jess replied. The two of them were silent for a moment, both enjoying the comfortable beam of sunlight that passed over them through the trees.

"You know mom" Jess said "I would really like for my birthday if maybe me and my friends could go see one of the new plays".

"Sure" she said "but it better not be that one play with that killer barber".

"Oh come on mom," Jess pleaded.

"No way" she said "ain't no way in hell I'm lettin' ya seeing that. I swear, another thing I don't like about this city, always puttin' out the most crappiest things with those plays, shoes, movies, and those shirts you always wearin". Jess was a bit downed by her answer. It was one of the few plays he had ever really wanted to see.

"Oh, all right" Alma said after a few minutes, Jess's mood suddenly soaring "but I swear, if ya start havin' nightmares-"

"Don't worry mom," Jess said, hugging her "I won't". She snorted slightly and they went silent for a moment.

"Swear Jess" she said after that pause "out of all the surprises I've had in my life, you are by far one of the biggest I've had".

"That's a good thing, right?" Jess asked, a bit concerned by this.

She laughed, "of course it is" she said, "Jessie, you are one of the best things that has ever happened in my life".

"Oh, your just saying that" Jess said.

"No, its true" she said "you everythin' a mom could want for a son, smart, funny, responsible, and I am proud to be your mom".

Jess smiled "well I'm glad I have you as a mom" he replied, hugging her again "even if you're a bit old fashioned".

"Old fashioned?" she said in a mock anger voice "me?"

"Oh come on mom" Jess replied, "You're like some housewife from the fifties".

"Cause I was raised properly" she continued "unlike you, born into this god awful place".

"Sure mom, sure" he said, both of them laughing. After a moment, both of them calmed down and Alma sighed again.

"Sure is lovely out today".

"Yep" he replied, "sure is".

* * *

Jess was staring at the exact same bench he and Alma were sitting in when this happened.

"Why didja stop?" Ennis asked him after he didn't speak for a moment.

"Nothing" he replied "just having a bit of a flashback" that seems to be happening a lot today "Come on, let's keep going".

As they made their way through the park, Ennis could honestly say this was his favorite part of the city. For one, there weren't so many people crammed into each other and the noise had reduced considerably to a low hum. Maybe this place isn't so bad.

They exited out of the north entrance to Central Park where across the street stood Jess's favorite building in all of New York. The Dakota building.

To him, it was the most interesting place he had ever seen before. Sure, he never been inside it and probably never will unless he became some famous movie star. With its gothic design, stone gargoyles, and over all creepiness, it just seemed so out of place in this city and that's what Jess liked about it. And it didn't hurt that it was the main setting in Rosemary's Baby, one of his favorite movies.

"We should be there soon" Jess told Ennis. As they began to walk down the street, a girl bumped into him pretty hard.

"Watch it!" he barked.

"Why don't you?" she shot back. Then Jess saw who it was and his mouth almost dropped.

"Ana?" he said.

"Holy shit!" she cried "Jess! You're back!" and she flung herself into his arms.

Ana and Jess had been friends ever since the first day of school, when Jess was only seven and severely out of place. At the time, she didn't care about his southern accent or the way he dressed but accepted him for the person he was.

And over time, as Jess outgrew his southern roots and morphed more and more into a city kid, he and Ana became something more then friends, eventually going out with each other, starting at the 8th grade and ending during the middle of their sophomore year. The reason for the break up? Its because after they had sex for the first time, they realized how awkward it was to be around each other so much. So in the end, they decided to just be friends after that. Now, after nearly four months and by a stroke of luck, he had bumped into her once again.

"Where have you been?" she asked, pulling away "it was like you dropped off the face of the planet!"

"I know" he replied "sorry for not contacting you sooner".

She shrugged "its all right, your back now!" and she hugged him again. He heard Ennis cough behind him.

"Oh right" Jess said, "Ana, this is my dad, Ennis".

"Oh, hi!" she said, giving him a bright smile and shaking his hand. She then leaned into him "I thought your dad was dead?"

"Apparently not" Jess replied.

"Nice ta meet ya" Ennis replied.

"So" she said, turning back to him "you staying long?"

"Not really" Jess said "just for two days".

"Two days? That's it?" she asked.

"Yep" he said, "so anyway, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know me" she said "just passing by, see if I can catch Yoko Ono coming out of the building".

"And how's that been going?" Jess asked.

"Like always, no success" she replied. Jess laughed.

"So, where are you two going?" she asked.

"To our hotel" Jess replied.

"Well, if your not to busy, wanna take a walk with me? For old times sake?" Jess looked at Ennis, who gave him a look saying go ahead.

"Sure" he said, "how bout right now?"

"Really?" she asked, "you sure your dad won't mind?"

"No, its all right with me" said Ennis.

"Well that's good!" she said "come on Jess, I'll try to catch you up on all that's happened".

"All right, give me one sec," he told her.

He walked over to Ennis "you sure your all right with this?" he asked.

"Yeah" he replied, "she's yer friend, you two should talk".

"Thanks" he said "well, could ya do me a favor and take my bag to the hotel as well?"

"N'all right" Ennis said, taking Jess's bag in his free arm.

"Oh and to get to the hotel" Jess said "just keep going east down this Central Park North and you'll see our hotel down one of the branching streets, all right?"

"Okay, got it" Ennis said "I'll meet ya there. Don't stay out to late".

"Okay" he said. With that, he hurried off to Ana, who was waiting a few lengths down, and the two of them began to walk, Jess right now feeling things couldn't get any better.

* * *

**Authors note: sorry everyone for the long delay but I hope the length of this chapter will make up for that. Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that there will be only two more chapters before the end of the Winter part and the official end of this story. The Spring and Summer parts will be written in a sequel to this story.**


	41. Chapter 40

Jack had just returned from the ranch and walking in, the phone was ringing. He quickly hurried over and picked it up.

"Hello?" he said

"Hey rodeo" he heard the familiar gruff voice.

"Hey" he said, "how are ya? How's the city?"

"Bad" he said, "I swear Jack, this place is mad or somethin".

"Oh now" Jack said "your probably jus' overreactin'. Trust me, it'll get better".

"Maybe. Where's Bobby?"

"He's out with friends" Jack replied.

"Everythin' okay with the ranch?"

"Ennis, its only been a day" he said "quit worryin' so much". Ennis grumbled something under his breath.

"So, tell" he said "what did you and Jess do?"

"Well, we mostly walked around the city the entire day" he responded.

"Didja see the Empire State Buildin?"

"Yep, sure did" he say, "it was big. Shit, everythin' in this city is big".

"I bet" he responded, "where's Jess?"

"Well, we ran into one of his friends here" he said, "there right now out with each other".

"Really?" Jack asked "one of his friends. Who?"

"Some girl named Anna," he said.

"What're the odds of that?" he asked.

"Dunno. Big" he replied.

"How's the hotel?"

"Real nice" he said.

"I bet its better then those old motel's, huh?"

"I didn't pay much attention ta the motels" Ennis replied "was too busy fuckin' yeah ta notice".

"How sweet" Jack said, "wish I could be there".

"And what wouldja do ta me if you were?" he asked, his voice getting all sexy, making Jack get all riled up.

"I'd hold ya down" he said "kiss yeah real good, rip of those ratty pants, suck you dry".

"Yeah?" he heard Ennis say, a slight clinking in the background.

"Then I let yeah ride me," he said, his hand going down his own pants.

"Yeah?" he heard him growl.

"Ride me all night long" he said, "long, hard, while you stroke me off, devour my neck like yeah do".

"Oh yeah" he said "what else babe?"

"Then I take you," he said "go nice and slow at first, then I get all primed and really go at yeah".

"You'd fuck me real good?" he said in a sexy voice.

"I fuck that ass real go-"

"What the hell are you doing?" he heard a voice ring out in the background.

"Shit!" he heard Ennis swear.

"Oh my god!" Jess continued "now you guys are doing on the phone? Gah!" he then heard a door slam.

"Shit" Ennis swore again.

"So much fer that" Jack said.

"It was nice while it lasted" he replied, "I best try ta salvage this, I'll talk ta yeah later, okay?"

"Sure thing cowboy".

"Give Bobby my love, all right?"

"I will" he said, "Love ya cowboy".

"Love ya to" then he hung up.

* * *

A fourteen-year-old Jess got off the bus at his stop, walking down the street until he came upon New York High School of Performing Arts. Walking through the front doors, he headed down the halls, passing the plethora of classes where either the sound of an orchestra, the sight of dancers, the yelling of actors, or the chatting of students could be heard and seen.

And yet, no cafeteria music numbers and street dancing, Thanks a lot Fame Jess thought.

He poked his head into one of the classrooms where three kids were practicing, all speaking in rapid Russian.

"Hey" Jess said, "You speak English?"

"Yes" one said.

"You guys know where I can find the sound editing room?"

"It's just down the hall".

"Thanks" and as soon as he left, they began their rapid talk again.

He soon found the room, walking in to see a senior at the controls of some high-tech machine, headphones on and adjusting a lot of keys.

Jess silently crept up on him, and then he lifted one side of the headphones and said "hey".

The guy jumped "shit Jess, you scared me half ta death".

"Sorry Mitch" Jess said "I couldn't resist".

Jess had known Mitch for a long time. Both had been next-door neighbors for almost as long as Jess had lived in the city and both had become sort of like brothers. Mitch used to always look out for Jess when he was little, tell people to back off when they made a wise-crack about his southern roots and his mom had always been nice to him, she being one of the few people Alma could stand in the city. Now, he was going to graduate in just one month and it would probably be one of the last times he'll see Mitch for a while.

"What are yeah doing here anyway?" he asked "shouldn't you be in school?"

"I got a pass" he replied.

"Then what are yeah here for?"

"To confirm the news," Jess said "is it true you got a job offering with Motown?"

Mitch happened to be a very talented music composer, being able to not only play a variety of instruments but also mix and tape recordings like a real record producer. It was one of the things that got him into the school in the first place.

"Ah, you heard already" Mitch said, "did Norelle tell you?"

"Of course" he replied, "you know she can't resist me".

"Whatever" Mitch said, shoving him playfully "anyway, I haven't taken the job yet".

"Why the hell not?" Jess asked, "This is Motown we're talking! This could be your big break!"

"Slow down there" Mitch said, "first off, it's only an internship and second, I haven't even graduated yet".

"So?" Jess replied "its still a big offer. Shit like this doesn't come along often".

"I know" Mitch said, "you really think I should?"

"Of course!" he exclaimed, "your great at what you do. Hell, one of the best in the school. Well actually, you're the only one in the school who can actually work this stuff. So come on Mitch, just…go for it!"

"I'll think about it, all right," Mitch said.

"You really shouldn't" he said "Oh and if you really are going to Detroit, I suggest you buy a gun, I hear that place is a shit hole".

For the next hour, Jess tried to milk every little detail from Mitch about what he planned to do but largely, he was undecided. Then one of the teachers came in and told Jess off, saying he had been her far to long.

So he exited the building and since school would be over in little over an hour, he didn't see the harm in just heading home.

He came to the apartment door and unlocked it with his key and walked in.

"Mom, I'm home," he said.

"Hey" she said "shouldn't you be in school?"

"It was only an hour left mom" he replied "didn't really see the point in going back".

"Don't care if it was five minutes," she said, "every ounce of yer education is important".

"I know mom, I know" he replied, grabbing a drink from the fridge.

"Well, since yer here" she said "I think it was best if I told ya that we're going to have to make a few changes".

"How so?" he asked.

"Well, with Ted gone" she said "we're gonna hafta be extra careful on how we spend our money. I've already applied for a second job down at the grocers".

"Mom" Jess said.

"No no" she said, "it has to be done. Besides, It will give me something more to do with my time".

"You know" he said, "I could find a job as well, you know".

"Yer only fourteen" she replied.

"Well, when I do reach the age" he said "Marlene says that I can have a job at the dinner she works at should I ever need one".

"How is Marlene?" she asked "is college life workin' out fer her?"

"Yes" he replied, "she says college is fun. But then again, I don't know how she finds time to have fun considering the hours she has to work just to pay for it all".

"Well that jus' shows how determine she is to have a good education" she said "as well as you should to when you go to college. Even though me and Ted set up a trust fund fer ya, don't expect us ta be payin' fer all yer other needs".

"Yes mom, I know" Jess replied.

"Well good" she said, "as you should".

* * *

"Shattuck?" Anna asked, "Where the hell is that?"

"Exactly what I said," Jess replied "its this small town in Oklahoma, bought over one thousand people".

"A thousand?" she exclaimed, "That's like…half our school!"

"I know, right?" Jess replied.

"I swear," she said "straight from the fucking trailer park that place".

"Maybe" Jess replied, "Except most of the people have all their teeth".

"Hmm, go figure" she said.

"So, enough of me" he said, "How are you? What's been happening since I've been gone?"

"Oh, lots of things" she said "first off, Terrell and Lindsay broke up".

"What?" Jess said "no way!"

"Way" she responded, "came out of fucking nowhere. She just drops the bomb on him and leaves him".

"Shit" he said "what a bitch".

"I told you she was". All the way down the street, Anna filled him in on all the crazy stuff that had happened. Besides the breakup, Lana had become valedictorian, Blake's acne had finally gone away, Rick moved away to Staten Island, a huge fight had broken out in the lunch room, causing three to be suspended and one sent to the hospital, and finally, Anna told him the biggest news of all.

"Mitch produced his first song," she said.

Jess nearly stopped dead "he what? Seriously?"

"Yes!" she said, "it hit the radio just three weeks ago and is already become a big hit".

"No way!"

"Yes!" she said "Norelle called me at like three in the morning to tell me the good news".

"Dammit!" Jess said, "the one time Mitch does his first big song and I'm stuck in Oklahoma where the only new songs are about Jesus".

She laughed, "I swear Jess, it's so great having you back," she said "things have just been so dull without you here".

"Great to be back" he replied.

For an hour, the two wandered around the city, talking about the things they used to talk about before, about movies, gossip, events, just everything that popped into their mind, they talked.

"So, you made any friends down in Hicksville?" she asked.

"Yep" he replied "a girl named Lois and a guy named James".

"What are they like?"

"Lois is…" Jess thought for a moment "Lois is very…active".

"How so?"

"She's a real big talker," he said, "give that girl the littlest topic and she'll take off. Her dad owns a grocery store in the town and she's a really good artist too".

"And this James guy?"

"Not much of a talker" he said "mostly just likes to tinker away at his car".

"Well, they sound like a lively bunch" she replied.

"Hey, their good people" he said "you'd like them".

"Well, if your friends with them, I guess there okay" she said. They soon came back to where they started, right outside the Dakota.

"I should be getting to the hotel" Jess said "knowing Ennis, he'll probably be worrying over me".

"Ya, you should" she replied.

"It was really nice seeing you again Anna," he said, giving her a hug.

"Same here" she replied.

"We should really try to get the others together and have a nice time out tomorrow" he said, "before I have to leave again".

"That be real nice," she said "however, Lindsay and Blake are out of town for the entire week".

"Shit" Jess said "but we still should".

"Of course" she said, "I'll call everyone to tell him or her your back" she gave him a small kiss on the cheek. She hailed for a taxi, waiting till one pulled up.

"See you tomorrow, kay?" she then got in, waved bye to him, as did Jess, and then she closed the door. Jess stood there, watching until the cab disappeared beyond the bend. Good old Anna he thought. Then he too took off.

The hotel soon came into view. He and Ennis were staying at the Hilton hotel, Jess thinking that they really must have made a bundle on expanding the ranch. And if memory served him, didn't the guy who owned the hotels just have a daughter? Knowing that family, that girl was bound to be a slut. Or worse.

He headed into the hotel, walking up to the concierge desk where a tall, skinny man was stationed.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm looking for my room" Jess said "I think its under a Ennis Del Mar or a Jack Twist, I'm not sure which".

The man scanned through the pages "yes, we have a room under Ennis Del Mar for two. You must be a Jessie Beers?"

"that's right".

"well, your father has already checked in" he replied "so here's your key and room number" he handed Jess the room key.

"thanks man" Jess said, heading for the elevator.

After climbing a few flights, he stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hall until the room number came into view. He inserted the key, heard the clicking sound, and then opened the door…only to see Ennis on the bed with his pants down.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jess exclaimed.

"Shit!" Ennis said.

"Oh my god, now you guys are doing it on the phone?" Jess then made a sickened noise and instantly headed for the door, feeling a bit sick.

He slammed the door behind him, propping his back against the door. God damn it! He thought, it's like their man whores or something. Why can't they just keep that shit in the bedroom?

"Jess" he heard Ennis say "can't we-".

"its fine Ennis" Jess responded "I just…got a bit of an eyeful, that's all".

"real sorry about that" he responded. There was a silence between the two, no one knowing what to say next.

"wanna get somethin' ta eat?" Ennis asked.

Jess opened the door a crack "that sounds like a good idea".

A few minutes later, the two were exiting the hotel and making their way down the street. Jess knew of a restaurant just down the street that served a mean steak and was a real cheap meal.

They had a table a few minutes after arriving. Jess ordered himself a Dr. Pepper and steak and Ennis a beer and steak as well. The waitress then walked off, leaving the two alone across each other from the table.

"So, how's yer friend?" he asked.

"Fine" Jess replied "was thinking of meeting up with her tomorrow with some friends".

"Sounds nice" Ennis replied "how long you gonna be out?"

He shrugged "dunno. Thinking it might be an all day thing". Ennis nodded, though he wasn't looking forward to a whole day alone in the hotel. The waitress returned with their drinks, Jess idly swiveling the straw and Ennis taking a chug of his beer.

Jess knew he should be happy but somehow he felt almost a bit empty inside. Something had been bothering him all day and he just wasn't sure how to say it. But now, the time seemed perfect.

"Ennis, why are we here?" Jess asked.

Ennis was caught off guard by this question "whaddya mean?"

"Why are we here? Really" Jess said.

"Thought this was what ya wanted" he replied "figured ya like comin' home".

"But is that really all?" Jess asked.

Ennis bit his lower lip "dunno…maybe we could, jus' work things out. Be alone".

Jess laughed a little, looking outside the window where the throngs of people could be seen "alone" Jess said.

"I don' like this Jess" Ennis continued.

"Don't like what?" he asked.

"I know you say you've accepted yer new life in Shattuck" he said "and me and Jack. But, somehow I don't believe you".

"Really" Jess said solemnly.

"You seem…" Ennis thought of the right word "distant, cold, not really meaning what you say at all".

"Maybe" Jess replied.

"But why?" Ennis asked "I have tried everythin' I could to make yer stay easier. I've tried to be a father to you-"

"Well maybe I don't want a father" Jess snapped "maybe its just to late for all that".

"Please Jess" Ennis said, "can't we jus' leave behind all that and jus' try to start fresh?"

"I don't think I can do that" Jess said, "You just can't expect to just come back into my life like its not big deal".

"I already told you" he said, "I tried to contact you-"

"Well maybe you didn't try hard enough," he said, "if you truly cared for me you would have tried harder and not take no for an answer. But no, when things got tough, you just gave up on it completely".

"That's not true," he said.

"Yes it is!" Jess exclaimed, causing a few people to look over "you just can't handle it when things become to hard for you. Its just like with Jack".

"What's that suppose to mean?" Ennis said, his voice rising slightly.

"When he first asked for a life with you" he said "you just backed of and shot him down, cause you were to afraid to try and face any of the hardships to come".

"But I did, didn' it?" he growled "didn' I not ask him for a life with him? Did I not sacrifice a lot to be with him? Did I not stick around for when things got bad?" Jess didn't say anything, his face darkening.

"I never gave up on him" he continued "and I never gave up on you. But yer jus' to god damn stubborn to try and move on. Yer jus' determine to think of me as nothin' more bit some wife abandonin' faggot!"

"Fuck you" Jess said. Ennis angrily slammed his beer onto the table at this remark.

"Everything all right here?" asked the waitress.

"Fine" both of them said. She quickly deposited their food and hurried off to another table.

"I jus' want to be yer father" Ennis said, his anger diminished.

Jess didn't speak for a moment "I don't think I can ever accept you as my father".

"Can't you jus' try?"

Jess looked Ennis right in the eye "no".


	42. Little by Little

Authors note: this chapter is inspired by the Oasis song "Little by Little" and will be the closing chapter for the winter section and final chapter in this story. It took me awhile to decide on the appropriate song to fit for this chapter and I eventually settled on this song. I will leave it up to you, the readers, to interpret what this song means in relation to the story.

* * *

December 27, 1982

Can we change? Can people really change?

* * *

_We the people fight for our existence_

The New York skyline stretched out before Jess's eyes, as he stood propped against the pane glass door that led out to the balcony. The sun was just barely beginning to rise, a soft pink hue appearing on the horizon. It was very cloudy today, the weatherman saying it was likely it may rain tonight.

_We don't claim to be perfect but we're free_

Jess had been up for a while now, for how long he couldn't say. He had a very restless night, Ennis's word still seared into his head. He thought it rather silly. For if it were the old Jess, he would have just dismissed Ennis's comment but they just seemed burned into his brain.

_We dream our dreams alone with no resistance_

He looked over his shoulder at Ennis's sleeping body, his gaze seemingly devoid of emotion as he looked at his sleeping dad. He turned away, looking out into the horizon again. I should be happy he thought, I'm home, away from Shattuck. I'm back where things make sense again, where his home used to be, where his friends lived, where for literally his whole life, he grew up here.

But now, he had this new life in Shattuck and no matter how he may fight it or try to deny it, it is the one true home he had left now.

_Fading like the stars we wish to be_

Jess needed some air. Whether it was the lack of sleep or the thought swimming in his mind, he just had to get out of this room. He quietly slipped on some jeans and pulled off his jacket he had set on the chair. As he headed for the door, he looked over again at Ennis and instantly, he flashed back to the dinner

"I never gave up on you. But yer jus' to god damn stubborn to try and move on. Yer jus' determine to think of me as nothin' more bit some wife abandonin' faggot!"

"Fuck you"

_You know I didn't mean, what I just said_

Pushing the thought out of his mind, he opened the door and stepped out into the hall. It was quiet out here, the light from the lamps giving off an almost twilight feel. It almost seem like Jess was walking in a dream like state, as if the whole world had just slowed down and all the noise had seemed to die down.

He closed the door behind him, slipped on his jacket, and began to walk down the hall.

_But my God woke up on the wrong side of his bed_

_And it just don't matter now_

Every step he took seemed labored and forced, as if his mind was trying to tell him something.

He knew his brain was trying to tell him that Ennis was right and the time had come for him to get this chip off his shoulder.

But then Jess would argue he had no chip on his shoulder and that Ennis should just accept the fact that people don't always move on.

'_Cause little by little_

_We gave you everything you ever dreamed of_

He reached the elevator, pressing the button and waiting for the familiar ping to arrive. He stepped into the large elevator and pressed for the ground floor.

As it the elevator whirled to life and began to descend, Jess propped himself against the wall. The fluorescent light from shone of the fake gold paint on the elevator sides, giving the place an odd, ethereal glow.

Jess laughed. Maybe all of this is just a dream; maybe I'm just having a really vivid dream. Guilt probably, of what I've done to Ennis and Jack.

He laughed, thinking about all the horrible things he had said to them in the past four months. Now that he thought of it, a lot of those comments were pretty harsh, even from him.

_Little by little_

_The wheels of your life have slowly fallen off_

The elevator made another ping as it came to the bottom floor. Exiting out, Jess aw the lobby was mostly abandoned, except for the two receptionist at the door and about five or so other people hanging around.

Even at the bottom, it seemed unnaturally quiet, even with the street noise that filtered in from the door.

Maybe I am really dreaming Jess thought.

_Little by little_

_You have to give it all in all your life and all the time_

_I just ask myself why, you're really here_

Exiting out onto the street, the sun's light had just barely begun to creep over the horizon, casting the city in an unnatural blue hue.

He felt something cold drop onto his cheek. Water. He looked up and sure enough, it began to drizzle slightly.

Jess smiled. Perfect he thought, it isn't a dream.

_True perfection has to be imperfect_

Jess began to walk down the street, letting the rain wash over him. He kept his head lowered slightly, eyes locked on his own feet; careful not to bump into anyone he may pass.

You can't run forever you know, he heard a voice inside his head say.

Shut up he said to himself.

You know that you'll eventually have to face it all.

Shut up.

_I know that that sounds foolish but its true_

You know that deep down, he's right and that you're just determined to try to keep this perceived image of him.

That's not true.

Jess tried to shake this voice out of his mind. He came to a street corner and looked up to see if it was okay walk.

As he waited for the light to change, he looked out into the street and began to see almost an image of his life he thought he forgot.

It was Ennis and he, when Jess was only two. Ennis was playing with him and the small baby in his hands was laughing and shrieking in delight.

_The day has come and now you'll have to accept_

He turned away and began walking down the other way.

See, your running the voice perked up again.

He tried to ignore it and kept on walking. Halfway down the street, he stopped.

He saw Jack, Ennis, and Bobby, all sitting at the table eating dinner. They were all happy, talking to each other, it was a real family moment.

Jess had almost forgot that a happy meal even existed. Back when he, his mom, and Ted were all together, sitting at the table, happy.

_The life inside your head we give to you_

Without wanting to see it anymore, he turned away and quickly ran across the street to the other side, people honking at him as he went.

Running the voice said.

_You know I didn't mean, what I just said_

Just leave me alone he thought.

He began once more walking down the street, wanting to get away from it all.

_But my god woke up on the wrong side of his bed_

_And it just don't matter now_

He began to pick up speed as he went. He quickly turned the corner and once again, he saw images, this time it was he when he was about eight and Ennis. Both were walking with each other, talking to one another, both happy. Jess was wearing almost the same getup as his dad and both walking next to each other; he seemed to be a mini version of Ennis.

Maybe this is what could have happened he thought, if he never left.

'_Cause little by little_

_We gave you everything you ever dreamed of_

This is insane Jess thought. Voices in my head, visions on the street, its all so crazy! He began to walk faster.

Its time to stop running, the voice said.

"please just go away" he said in a whispered and anguished voice.

_Little by little_

_The wheels of your life have slowly fallen off_

Life isn't fair. It never is. The only way we can survive it is to keep our feet moving forward and look to the road ahead.

What if you can't keep going forward? What if you find yourself stuck and there's nothing left to go on.

You are never stuck for to long and there is always something to keep going on for.

_Little by little_

_You have to give it all in all in all your life and all the time_

_I just asked myself why, you're really here_

Soon Jess began to run. He didn't know why and he didn't know what he was running from, all he had to do was keep running.

The faster he went, the more the world seemed to slow down. the rain seemed to stand still, the cars seemed to go by in slow blurs, and the sound seemed to recede into the background. Everything seemed to go still.

Images kept on popping into his head and voice seemed to swim in his head, all saying indecipherable things.

He ran as fast as he could, trying to escape it all.

Then he felt himself trip and he fell to the ground, falling right into a puddle in the street.

His body felt numb and everything just stopped.

He lifted himself up slightly, his reflection staring back at him.

Time to stop running.

* * *

_Little by little_

_We gave you everything you ever dreamed of_

Ennis felt his eyes crack open a bit. It was still pretty dark out and all seemed quiet. It seemed to be raining outside. As his eyes adjusted, he could make out a figure standing on the balcony.

He turned over to see Jess's bed empty.

Wonder what's wrong he thought.

_Little by little_

_The wheels of your life have slowly fallen off_

He slipped on a pair of pants and walked across the room to the glass pane. He opened it and walked out into the chilly early morning air.

Jess was standing a few feet from him, soaking wet, leading Ennis to wonder what was it he had been doing to get this way. He seemed to be staring out into nothing, his eyes locked onto something that wasn't there.

Ennis wondered if maybe he should say something to him.

_Little by little_

_You have to give it all in all your life and all the time_

_I just ask myself why your really here_

Ennis stood there for a moment, still unsure of what to do.

Then Jess did it for him. Slowly, his hand extended and grasped Ennis's hand.

_Why am I really here?_

At first, Ennis was a bit confused by this. Then Jess turned his head towards Ennis, pain and anguish in his eyes. Unless he was dreaming but Jess actually seemed sincere in his actions.

_Why am I really here?_

Jess turned away again, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. Then, from out of nowhere, he flung himself at Ennis, wrapping his arms around him and began to cry.

It caught him completely off guard. But no matter what, he to wrapped his arms around this cold, wet teenager. And before Ennis knew it, he felt tears come to his eyes.

It had happened at last. Jack was right, give him time, he'll come around.

And even though he didn't know what brought this change, he really didn't care. All he knew as that for the first time in four months Jess had actually accepted him for a father.

"I'm sorry" he heard Jess say.

"It's all right," he said back "its all right" he kept saying this to him, over and over, the tears now flowing freely from his face.

The sun had now finally broken over the horizon, illuminating the rain soaked city. And with it not only brought a new day, but a new day for Jess and Ennis as well.

* * *

December 27, 1982

The answer…is yes.

* * *

**Authors note: and there you have it folks, the final chapter. I just want to thank to all who reviewed and who had been there from the beginning. Now, just to let you all know, there will be a second story and the working title for it is "The Roads We May Travel and The Lives We Once Lived". like before, they will consist of two parts, being Spring and Summer.**

**However, don't expect it to come up anytime soon. I am planning on taking an extended break from my Brokeback fanfic so I can work on other fanfics I have been planning to write. If I can give you a rough guesstimate, I would say the fic would be up some time in either Late April or early May. Until then, you can enjoy my Heroes fanfic and other works I may post.**

**Until then, see you all later.**


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